I was in some large African city when civil war broke out and the rogue army began slaughtering foreigners. One soldier chased me into a back alley, but I ambushed him and knocked him unconscious. I escaped into a tenement, where I met a young woman from a local resistance cell who offered to help me leave the country. I went back to the soldier (turns out I had killed him) and took his uniform and weapon; me being the Whitest Dude, it wouldn't have helped much, but my new friend was a make-up artist. An hour and a shave later, I'm a passable black guy from a distance.
So, to recapitulate, I kill a black guy, take his stuff, then attempt to escape the premises. In blackface.
I hit the streets, trying to find some sort of secure embassy, staying away from other patrols so they don't get a close look at me; that bit took
forever. I finally find the site of some sort of emergency UN talks, and hang out near the Chinese representatives, figuring they couldn't tell I was a fake. I don't understand a word of what's being said, and everything's really tense for a while. I sneak off to a storage area in the back where the Penny-Arcade guys are hiding (that's from watching the PATV dvd before bed). They found a bizarre series of suspended tubes and ladders that's apparently a way to the rooftop where there's a helipad, but they're all too high to reach. I say "don't worry, I have a hookshot, this'll be a cinch". Then I realize I'm not in a Zelda game, I'm not Link, and I don't have a hookshot. Mike and Jerry look at me with impatience and growing disappointment, and I wake up.
