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[Mongrel]

You know, it turns out the Borg are less cool and more fucking horrifying when your brain thinks they're real.

I am sick of having Borg nightmares. Seriously. It is not fun times to watch your friends and family turn into robot zombies that relentlessly pursue you and are invincible. Bonus points if the nightmare ends with them catching you and sticking a tubule into your neck.

The weird "this is all happening in beautiful HAWAII!!!" aspect of it was sort of cool, though?

Extra super bonus points if you wake up and find a letter slipped under your door from your landlord putting pressure on you financially, so you go directly from dreamworld anxiety of being assimilated and losing your mind/soul/identity to realworld anxiety of losing your place to live.

Oh, and SUPER ULTRA MAGIC MAXIMUM bonus points if the reason you don't have any money is that you have a stack of medical bills five miles high, and the landlord is your mom, who is indifferent to the fact that you don't have any money because, you know, cancer.

This sort of should go into another thread after editing it to include the last two paragraphs but DAMN IT THIS STARTED OUT AS AN AWESOME BORG NIGHTMARE

well ok "indifferent" is a bit harsh

she included a little blurb about how "she knew I was just recovering from a difficult time"

Wait, do you have cancer or your mom? Because, Jesus, fuck. :(

I seem to recall you mentioning mom was sick? But if it's you then, when did you become R^2? OH GOD, IT'S CONTAGIOUS.

[Büge]

No, it just means that R^2's recent good luck means that someone else must suffer.

That's rotten, Friday. :(

[Friday]

Some of you may remember me talking recently about how I would be gone/away for surgeries. It's not a secret, exactly. I've been talking about my shit in #finalfight since it started. I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Cancer is common as shit, after all, and Melanomas especially.

I know you guys are probably curious about this now, so I guess I'll give you the short lulzy version.

1. Mom, what's this thing on my back I noticed getting out of the shower?

2. Go to dermatologist.

3. "ahahaha yeah you're not leaving we're taking that thing out of you right now. HAVE SOME LOCAL ANESTHETIC AND LASERS DO YOU ENJOY SMELLING YOUR OWN MELTED FLESH? Y/B"

4. btw we are referring you to a specialist

5. "oh hey we have to cut into your back again, deeper this time, because the first LASER FLESH MELT did not get all of it. also i don't like that other mole up near your shoulder blade, so we're getting that out too."

6. oh shit general anesthesia

7. "looks good! you are in the 95% totally fine bracket."

8. "whoops lol looks like you rolled a 1, lol, cause you got cancer cells in your bod hun!"

9. OH SHIT ROUND THREE FIGHT

10. "hey friday you don't need the sense of touch in your armpit right SLICE THAT MOTHERFUCKER OPEN SEVERING THE NERVE TO REMOVE YOUR LYMPH NODE"

11. PATHOLOGY REPORT CLEAN MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE NOW 80% FINE 20% CHANCE OF RELAPSE BECAUSE WE CAN NEVER BE SURE WITH CANCER LOL

12. "hey doc i can't move my arm also i am totally high on Vicodin right now" "GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS IN FACT DO NOT COLLECT MONEY FROM NOW ON BASICALLY ENJOY YOUR BILLS"

13. "hey uh doc it's been months and PT fucking sucks and hurts so goddamn much and I still can't move my arm all the way" "yeah you've lost somewhere between 15-20% of your mobility mostly because of scar tissue SUCKS MOTHERFUCKER WHATCHA GONNA DO FOURTH SURGERY TO REMOVE SCAR TISSUE? Y/B BTW SOMETIMES IT COMES RIGHT THE FUCK BACK ALSO HIDEOUSLY EXPENSIVE"

14. fuck cut myself shaving my pits again LUCKILY I CAN'T FEEL THE PAIN

15. man this huge fucking scar on my back is so sexy!

16. Man I sure am weaning myself off pain killers good OH GOD IT HURTS GIVE ME THE PILLS

17. HAVEN'T PLAYED STARCRAFT IN MONTHS TIME FOR A ROCKY TRAINING MONTAGE

18. EYE OF THE TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGER

19. BACK IN PLATINUM LEAGUE, MOTHERFUCKERS

20. clean as of latest check up, next check up in a few months

*credits*

p.s. you are now paranoid about all moles forever the end

[Brentai]

I'm worried about moles in general because I am basically a shambling pile of them, but the only sane way to deal with it I think is to ignore it.  I'm in the camp of "most cancers that go terminal wouldn't go terminal if somebody wasn't trying to convince the patient that it's terminal".  Mind over body is a powerful but fickle thing.

[Classic]

All things considered, perishing slowly and painfully by cancer isn't that bad.

Sorry your shits are cancered. I will murder crabs and other bottom feeders in some sort of vague revenge or repudiation ritual.

The only thing that keeps me going is the old saying, "Chicks dig scars."

[R^2]

No, it just means that R^2's recent good luck means that someone else must suffer.

FRIDAY I AM THE FINAL BOSS OF YOU

MY MINIONS HAVE HIDDEN MY EXPLODED BODY PARTS FROM OUR LAST BATTLE IN FIVE MANSIONS SCATTERED ACROSS THE WALLACHIAN COUNTRYSIDE

YOU MUST COLLECT THEM AND RE-DEFEAT ME TO LIFT THE CURSE

[Niku]

can't you do this shit another night

tonight is

it's just not a very good night for it okay

[Mongrel]

I have to scan Starr's back for melanomas semi-regularly. Being REALLY FUCKING WHITE does have its downsides.

I wasn't going to mention it until I go to the doc October 6th for my review, but I got to stop U/V radiation a few weeks back, after literally a year of thrice-weekly treatments (I know this is not a contest) for Lymphoma. I'll never be clean, but it's gone away for a while I guess.

So good luck, Friday.

[R^2]

FRIDAY I HAVE ANALYZED YOUR FIGHTING STYLE AND HAVE DESIGNED THE PERFECT MINION TO DEFEAT YOU

BEHOLD



IMMUNITIES: BITE ATTACKS, KATANAS, ACCUSATIONS OF BEING A WEREWOLF REALLY, HOLDING THINGS IN YOUR MOUTH, SPY CHECKS

I HAVE ALREADY WON

HA HA HA

[Friday]

oh jesus I thought I saw a weakness in that it didn't have one leg that was a tank tread but NOPE

[Brentai]

Hmph!  You've made a critical error, R^2.

You may have defeated Friday's style, but you've forgotten who her friends are!

And once I've set my sights on one...

NO PUSSY CAN ESCAPE MY GRASP!!!

[Lottel]

We see the Stooges on camel in old arabian garb travelling at night. Moe points to a star and says that that's their destination.
They arrive at a barn where the baby Jesus is sleeping. Through Stoogely hijinks they accidentally stole the baby. They realize this at an oasis where they begin arguing while holding the baby. Larry trips and drops him in the water and baby Jesus skipped across the water. They then began to make signs for selling tickets to baby-skipping. Joseph and Mary show up with missing fliers. And they have to hide the baby AND the signs. They eventually get caught and Mary tells god to strike them down.
We then see the three in hell bonking each other as the devil pokes them with his trident.

[R^2]

"You stole the Messiah!"
"It was an accident!"
"You knucklehead!" *slap*
*poke*
*punch*

[Romosome]

I'm not sure but I think I just got trolled in my dreams

no, really, some random online people decided to stalk me to my house. Most of the dream was me trying to call 911 on my phone and failing because lol small finemotor tasks are impossible enjoy your sleep paralysis, but interesting parts include them rolling some giant gymnastics-pad barrier thing down a hill to block the tree I lived in (?) (it was like Santa Cruz or something), my "assailants" all being the most believably underwhelming nerd boys and girls my mind could muster, and the part at the end where I was actually attacked with scissors but grabbed them out of the guy's hand while still holding other swords and stuff because fuck you, nerd.

I can never do stuff like that in my dreams, I can barely even punch. I'm forced to conclude that I was literally accosted by the most pathetic dream trolls possible.

[François]

Is... is living in trees a Santa Cruz thing?

[Romosome]

yes

[Mothra]

Just had this weird-ass dream where I was working in a building in the thick of Boston (when I was working it was in a rural town on the outskirts of the city so ¯\(º_o)/¯ ), and lunch time came around so we headed across the street to this Anna's Taqueria burrito place that was built into this incredibly nice, old-timey sort of Shirey two-story house. The line was out the door.

We get inside instantly I assume after waiting in line forever and it's just some lady's house, with bowls of some but not really most of the components necessary for a proper 'rrito. I start talking to the mom of the house about how the backyard is surprisingly spacious (it was like six acres of untouched, rolling hills in the center of the city) as the line inches along, and I'm eventually able to put like, I think guacamole and some corn and a little cheese in the roll before she has pretty much run out of ingredients. I start to wonder if she lives here and if this place closes on Thanksgiving and such so she can have her extended family over.

I wake up in desperate need for a burrito but discover I am still recovering at my parents' place and I am neither around a mexican food establishment nor can eat something as ambitious as a burrito in my current state. This hard reality is hard to face.

[R^2]

I've had burritos that really tore up my insides but in your case that could be frighteningly literal.

Be strong and stay the course.

[Mothra]

Friday I just now read your post re: dances with cancer

It deeply and truly sucks that you had to AND CONTINUE TO go through that. For what it's worth I tend to find scars of such placement and nature mysterious (in such as it gives one's backside character [potentially of a heated <borg??> panther encounter]) and cool as/sexy as hell. All jimminy bullshittery of these surgeries aside it is kind of pleasing to me to have a sweet-ass scar running down my rugged six-pack abs.

[Lottel]

Fribbage is my OTP