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[R^2]

That sounds pretty unpleasant but a lot nicer than Gary Gygax's version of the otyugh anyway.

[Zaratustra]

I dreamt of a followup to R2's reverse medusa: a snake whose every scale is a tiny human.

[Mongrel]

Last night Starr had a dream that vampires existed and were all volunteers for the salvation army, meals on wheels, etc, so they would go to old folks in their homes and drink some blood. Eventually they're found out and the cops round them all up, but they're having a hell of time trying to figure out exactly what to charge them with, because there's no explicit law against vampirism in Toronto.

Meanwhile the vampires all got horrible diarrhea while in the city lockup, because they'd become so unaccustomed to regular human food and prison food was the only thing they had eat.

[R^2]

Hulk Hogan, in full late-eighties WWF costume, sings a soulful Celine Dion duet with the host on the Oprah Winfrey show.

With Oprah on piano.

[Mongrel]

I did it again.

[Mothra]

BAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW

[Mothra]

I had a dream last night where, due to me being partially awake, my body in-dream felt extremely heavy and was barely functioning properly, as I was trying to move my real body, rather than my dream body. I imagine you've all enjoyed this experience before, and it is fantastically frustrating.

In the dream, I had rationalized this haziness and inability to function as "I was on acid," and spent the entire dream wandering around an old folk's home that used to be near one of my old apartments. I have never BEEN to this old folk's home, but I once or twice wondered what it was like within its gated walls. These visions formed the setting of my dream, and for the crux of the spectacularly tedious experience, I staggered in and around this old folk's home, with staff members constantly berating me for my poor decision to do acid in an old folk's home.

I recall, at one point, trying to squeeze through a thin window that I shouldn't have been able to fit through, and losing my glasses in the process. Soon after, the old folk's home was "closing," and the staff members began actively hunting me.

Not exactly Dream of the Year.

[Mongrel]

BAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW

So you gonna fund my Kickstarter? 

[Frocto]

I don't normally write down dreams, but this dream was literally a Hollywood movie starring Bruce Willis. It was kind of cool knowing I was asleep and watching a movie play out that nobody else will ever get to see.

Anyway, he was in a super run-down city with some hot mercenary type babes. The place had long since been abandoned, the entire city was slowly collapsing from decay and wear, but there had been a scientific facility here where the Russians, or Germans or whatever, were developing a superweapon, hot-ass fucking robot women in latex with machine-guns. An earthquake had broken open a passage leading to the underground facility and it had woken up the robots and now they were running around the city, so Willis and his gang had been sent in to take 'em out.

One thing that really stuck out my mind during the dream was that there was the sense that the robots had to not get out of the city, no matter what, and that there was a lot of them and they were well-organized. Bruce would send forward scouts out only to find entire city blocks had been booby-trapped with high-powered explosives by the robots, usually with enough firepower to level skyscrapers, so entire parts of the city were just off-limits to the good guys. It was basically a video-game movie at this point, but yeah, the image of dozens of wires running up a street between two buildings, connecting, again, dozens of explosives, and Bruce Willis sweating and blinking as he backed away from it was pretty f'ing cool.

Anyway, in the end everyone died except for him and one other gal, and the seemingly-invincible robo babes were closing in, but then he had a brainwave that they were robots, so he could run down their batteries. So he led them on a super complex goose chase around the city, making them wear down their armour and ammo following him, until they were weakened enough that he could take out the last few with a well-aimed rocket. Cue the credits rolling with him and the surviving babe walking out of the city into a setting sun.

[Büge]

Please tell me your brain didn't insert a hamfisted romance plot.

[Frocto]

I think the only romance plot my brain would accept would be "All the robots. At once."

[François]

I'm reclining on a comfortable chair, shirtless. There are four spiders on my chest. One is about the size of a poker chip, three are very small, probably its babies; they are all yellow with a single wide orange stripe around the abdomen. Each of them is eating a single hair from my beard. Said four hairs are growing as fast as the spiders can eat them, so the critters themselves remain stationary. At the same time, they are all producing strands of silk, which slide off my body, fall to the ground and form a slowly rising mound. Every once in a while, one of the baby spiders falls asleep. I give it a gently nudge with my finger, which causes it to wake up, squeak the cutest tiny little spider squeak you've ever heard, and resumes turning my infinite beard into the softest silk one can imagine.

It feels like it lasts for several hours. It's all very pleasant.

[Mongrel]

Baby spider squeaks would be pretty awesome :3

[Cthulhu-chan]

I dreamt of GTA V, only it starred Plastic Man and Wonder Woman.  They acted like themselves, but were still jacking cars and planning heists.  I don't even know.

[Büge]

I dreamed I was watching a standup act by... I think it was my cousin's boyfriend or something, and he was pretty much ripping off Patton Oswalt's KFC bit, only with more mugging. The strange thing was nobody was calling him out on it.

[Sharkey]

Somehow my death inspired a new religion, but it immediately split into orthodox and reformed Sharkticons. Mostly over whether I intended them to throw jelly beans down escalators or scatter roofing nails across highways. Or spread genetically engineered super-smallpox. Pretty much a doctrinal schism over whimsical vs. murderous, because the jelly beans have to be a metaphor.

 

[Mongrel]

I was recruited as an astronaut for a team of dudes to go to some cursed hell-planet. The funny part of that was that I lived in the boonies of Alberta, up in the mountains, and the astronauts all had to meet up in a barbershop. My job was sepecifically to be the guy who stayed in the rocket and observe the rest of the landing party to make sure they didn't lose their shit or start turning into weird things. That didn't work out too well. 

Later, in a series of dreams that may or may not have been linked stories, I kept evolving into a chthonian monster that would eventually grow to consume the universe, in spite of efforts by my pre-evolved (and partially evolved) self and many other other dedicated individuals to stop it. Each time it was worse, because I remembered the last time. I think I was in the early stages of the third iteration when I woke up, I was desperately trying to cast warnings and shift around through time in a new prevention effort.

The actual experience was pretty weird, even by my standards.

[Büge]

I was recruited as an astronaut for a team of dudes to go to some cursed hell-planet. The funny part of that was that I lived in the boonies of Alberta, up in the mountains, and the astronauts all had to meet up in a barbershop. My job was sepecifically to be the guy who stayed in the rocket and observe the rest of the landing party to make sure they didn't lose their shit or start turning into weird things. That didn't work out too well. 

Later, in a series of dreams that may or may not have been linked stories, I kept evolving into a chthonian monster that would eventually grow to consume the universe, in spite of efforts by my pre-evolved (and partially evolved) self and many other other dedicated individuals to stop it. Each time it was worse, because I remembered the last time (I think I was in the early stages of the third iteration when I woke up, I was desperately trying to cast warnings and shift around through time in a new prevention effort).

It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.

[Beat Bandit]

I've had weird recurring dreams pretty much all my life where things are basically the same as they are in real life but with minor differences. One of those ongoing recently had me working my job at the planetarium, but while living with my dad in a weird hotel in a Lovecraftian town with an archaic fear of the unknown.

Tonight things were going normally enough at 'work'. Until I started to feel sick, my throat was closing up and made it impossible to do the talks, and before long one of the people from there was chasing me out, acting strangely about basically everything I did. I head back to the hotel and while focusing on how derelict things seem to be I walk into the wrong building by accident before realizing that the entire area seemed as out-of-place to me as it would have when I woke up.

Finally my dad and some staff from the hotel find me and lead me to it. I keep insisting thing are different but no one believes me. The entire time the staff is being very forceful, and my dad is apologizing that he shouldn't have told them it was my birthday and that's why everyone was being weird. I explain that I'm fairly sure it's not my birthday, but they persist. We exit out to the courtyard (or backyard I guess) of the hotel, and instead of whatever I felt it should be in dream world, it's a small strip of land and a basically endless body of water.

Still insistent that everything is totally normal, my dad leaves the scene, with me now having been totally freaked out for some time and begging for answers. One of the staffers finally explains that it the area we were in was (somehow) thousands of miles from the hotel, and when they leave through the door again I'll be trapped there. The trapping doesn't matter much though because the other guy pulls out some sort of weapon.

Getting super angry, I start trudging through the water to get away when the first guy follows. I turn towards him and shout something, my voice totally clear for the first time in the dream, and water starts to swirl around him. It's not a strong whirlpool though, and the guy keeps coming towards me, so I shout again. The area that was churning suddenly snap freezes, and he's severed from the waist down. The armed guy comes at me and I reach out to push him away (despite him not being that close) but ethereal chains reach out instead of my arms, wrapping around his. A bunch more wrap over his entire body and all tug at once, leaving him in a mess of chunks.

That's where I wake up, and things never make a ton of sense. The only reason it seemed creepier or weirder than the normal times I have settings I get used to that are only in my dreams is I've never been so aware of one having been a strange place before waking. Also, for months before whenever I re-enacted something from my day in the dream setting, from my rats escaping while I play with them to wandering around the outskirts of the museum, people from the dream would always comment on how I need to be careful because people are always disappearing lately. For months dreams that just reflected my current life in odd versions of their settings had a common thread that didn't tie to any real world stimulus, and it culminated completely unexpectedly.

[Büge]

Last night I had a nightmare about taking a programming test for some language I'm not familiar with. It had lots of @ symbols in it.