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[François]

In case you're coming into this thread late, you gotta know a ton of pictures are missing because my old hosting expired. I'm in the process of pointing all the links to the new location but there's no telling how long that might take. never mind it's done!

Let's play Shin Megami Tensei!

This is going to be a screenshot LP, mostly because I somehow still have bizarre recording issues and also because it's a grindy-as-hell dungeon-crawling JRPG with an insane encounter rate and iesus cristo I am not gonna find a way to fill all that time and also I am too lazy to edit the hell out of some videos.

I am doing this partially blind. I've played it a long time ago, up until a certain, err, [spoiler]catastrophic[/spoiler] event, and then the bugs just got overwhelming and I lost interest trying to salvage my game from them. I don't remember much of anything regarding the storyline except the broadest lines, and though I know how to actually play the game in terms of mechanics I have no recollection of dungeons or bosses or encounters so in essence it's gonna be mostly new content to me. I am using a guide, but it's only to know the effect of equipment and items since that's never actually detailed in-game at all. Everything else is me figuring stuff out. Unless I get really annoyed at something.

I'm running the AGTP translation on BSnes, whose focus on accuracy even at the cost of performance seems to have fixed a number of obvious graphical glitches (in what I've tested of the early game at least) that at one time were unavoidable regardless of which emulator you used, so I'm holding reasonable hopes of a relatively bug-free experience this time. But who knows. In any case the game was reportedly completable even back when the translation was first released so I should at least have a decent shot at finishing it once and for all. In the end what I really want to say with this paragraph is that in the unlikely event that the game craps out beyond my tolerance again I might be done with it foreverrrrrrrrrr.

I'm writing this in first person, though I reserve the right to change my mind on that at any time. The hero is a silent protagonist, so you should know that when you see his portrait () speaking, it's me being a bottomless sack of laughs. I probably won't put words in anybody else's mouths. Unless it'd make me giggle. Then I might.

Mr. Asterisk is the out-of-character comment. We'll probably see a lot of him. Like right now!

*: There's an alignment system in this game! It's not too important in the beginning but it actually gets all kinds of crucial and when the time comes to make a stand I will put it to vote. If that's even how the game works. I don't remember. But I'll probably put something to vote anyway because democracy fuck yeah!

Alright, that should be all I gotta say for now. Let's take our custom DeLorean back to the day before Halloween 1992, turn on our brand spanking new Super Famicom, and get ready to have our little dragon-slaying, princess-rescuing, airship-flying minds blown.

Shin Megami Tensei - Intro

[François]

This is the pinkest corridor I've ever been in. This alone would be worrying, but the walls are slowly undulating back and forth. Either I'm on drugs, or I'm just dreaming I'm inside a colossal cube of ham aspic.

This is eerie as hell. I step forward, that or I'm pulled forward, it's hard to tell. There are side corridors, but there's no time for those. I keep moving.

*: I'm not controlling anything here. I don't get to move anything else than a cursor for a while yet.

Until...



: He who does not state his name shall not pass! Identify thyself!

Mister Thou has issues with punctuation, but I'm not about to argue grammar with a giant glowing bald head growing out of a stone wall.

Anyway, I'm a Japanese teenager, but I have a French name because I was conceived in France while my parents were recovering from Paris Syndrome. I'm not sure how much sense that makes but for some reason I never particularly wanted to press the inquiry further.



: Thou sayest that thou art Francois?
: That's my name, don't wear it out!
: The one named Francois has dormant power. Divide 18 points among your parameters.

Uh, what?



Oh, right! Man, this is just like one of my Japanese RPGs!



*: I'm not minmaxing this. I probably should, this game is hard. Oh well.

I'm referring to a guide for the precise effect of stats though, because it's easy to make HORRIBLE decisions. For example, the main character never learns magic, and his magic stat is completely useless. Intelligence affects Magic Effect (the likelihood of hit-or-miss spells to actually hit) so it's easy to want to skip it as well, but it's also a crucial hidden stat in demon negociation. Stats each affect several things (like how Speed affects accuracy, evasion, battle order and escape probability), but are otherwise fairly straightforward.

: Francois... Beyond this door, both those chosen by God that follow the path of Law and Order, and those that rely on their own power that follow the path of competition and Chaos await you. Take care not to tip the balance between the two as you proceed....

The wall disappears. I'm free to go, and again I'm drawn further inside whatever this place is, through several doorways and around several corners. And then...



What's this...?



If I didn't know better, I'd say there's some sort of giant spinning cross flying towards me.



Uh-oh.

*: This scene creeped the hell out of me when I first played. It still does. It's so bizarre and unexpected. What does that imagery even mean?

I want to dodge, but fortunately the cross is content to plant itself right in front of me. Spheres of light converge towards the center, and a white figure suddenly appears, crucified, along with a creepy man in a blue robe. The robed man speaks:



: If you call his name, he shall awaken. Please call his name.

Here's my chance to be incredibly obvious. I don't take it.



Well, it's hard to tell from the naked, vaguely masculine silhouette, but that guy's also a Japanese teenager, and we haven't all been conceived between a baguette and a Bordeaux, so...

: You called him Kaneda?
: Yeppers!
: Ah, the one named Kaneda has dormant power! Divide 18 points among his-
: Yeah, yeah, I got this.



*: Kaneda learns magic someday, so I can't skimp on it.



: Beats me.
: I was trying to accomplish something, but I forgot what....
: To wear pants, probably.
: You saved me, didn't you? I sense that if I go with you, I'll remember what I was supposed to do... Please take me with you.
: Alright, but I'm not dropping the pants issue.

Kaneda joined the party! Together we go forward again. There's an awkward silence, the kind that can only exist when two dudes walk around a pulsating pink dreamscape, at least one of which has no pants on. (I don't have the guts to look down at myself and find out.) All of a sudden, more balls of light appear and merge before us, revealing some sort of goblin crouching on top of a lying figure.

: Whoah, whoah! I don't even care what sort of party this is, and I'm perfectly willing to pretend I never saw anything. Now if you don't mind I'll just...



: If you call his name, he should wake up. Go on, call his name!

Alright, so I can be obvious sometimes.



: So his name is Tetsuo, is it?
: Indeed, my kind fellow.
: He may be weak, but still has a good deal of strength left. Divide 18-
: Anything you say! Just don't hurt me!



*: Another potential magic-user. I seem to remember the human characters being pretty versatile, so I'm kind of going jack-of-all trades to be refined later.



: Rats, and I was having such a good dream...
: Whoah, dude! TMI!
: Damn. Oh well, let's get out of here.
: Yes! Let's!

Tetsuo joined the party!

Again along the corridor, and through yet another doorway. But this one's different.



Aw hells yeah! Now this is my kind of dream! I bet I wouldn't be having this in America!

: Who's there?
: Just three dudes, at least two of whom are naked. But don't mind us.



: How do you know my n---I mean, of course it's me, baby.
: My name is Yuriko.
: You didn't have to remind me, I totally remember you from that time we met, at that place.
: I've been waiting for you... as your eternal partner...
: That... That's cool... I'm cool with that right now.

And then, pink corridor again. What the what? Did I just blow it? Dammit, now my posse will think I'm some sort of loser. We keep moving.



Two naked dudes, a naked chick, and now my mom. I can already hear my therapist giggling.

: Just because you have today off doesn't mean you can oversleep! Come on, get up!



: Just because you have today off doesn't mean you can sleep all day! Come on, wake up!

Oh! Hmm. This really is like one of my Japanese RPGs. Weirdest wet dream ever though. Daaaaamn. I'm glad to be back to good old boring reality, where I have a gigantic bedroom by Japanese standards but also subscribe to the Raiden school of interior decoration. You win some, you lose some.

As is typical of young men of my generation, the very first thing I do upon getting up in the morning is checking my inbox.



Sweet! I love files!



*: DDS probably stands for Digital Devil Saga, which I faintly remember was some sort of novel, and was how this very ROM was mislabeled by many for a long time. And of course there have been two actual Digital Devil Saga games in this series since then. I'm honestly not very knowledgeable on how this all relates.

Hmm, I've never heard of this guy. The friend who usually sends me p... I mean, the friend who usually sends me files has several aliases, but Steven-san isn't one of them.

: >Humanity is currently in grave danger! Demons of legend from ages past have awakened from their long slumber. Soon, they will overrun the Earth! In order to compete with the demons and fight for our survival, we will need to utilize their power. Use this program correctly, and you should be able to! I pray that those with the courage to use it will accept it... To fight the demons that would destroy us, and to preserve humanity...
>Downloading... >You received the Demon Summoning Program. >The connection dropped.

Wait, this is October 199X. Don't we have anti-virus software by now?



: Dammit, mom, I'm trying to decide if this e-mail I got from a random gaijin is spam or the key to saving the world from a demon invasion! Gimme five minutes!



Hmm, what will I do indeed...?

*: Next post: actual gameplay!

[Envy]

Edit: Alright cant wait to see this!

[François]

Hot damn! An audience! *doffs hat*

*: When we last left our hero, he was debating whether to use to his computer, go back to sleep, or actually leave his bedroom.
: You make me sound like such a nerd.
*: Takes one to know one.
: Asshole.
*: Takes one to know one.

Welp, I'm leaving. I could use some fresh air.



: Even though the police sirens were blaring at all hours, you slept right through them. I barely got any sleep at all! For that many police to be involved, it must be a huge case...
*: I'm still not sure what's going on with mom's hands. Are those oven mitts? Or are they behind an apron?
: Ah, that's right. Here's your allowance for this month.
>Francois got 10000 yen.
: Wow! I love getting ten thousand of something! Thanks mom!
*: Rule of thumb: 100 yen is about one US dollar. Not quite exact but it gives you a basic idea. Our hero's getting a little more than three bucks a day.
: That's all for this month, don't waste it all too quickly!

I love having an history of wasting money. At that point, people only expect you not to waste it right away.

: Could you go down to the cafe in the mall and buy some coffee? Be sure to pay them in advance!
: I'd say your 10000 yen have purchased you an errand or two. No problem.
: Be careful, Francois. Don't be home too late!

I'm free to go!



*: Get used to this first-person view, we're gonna see it a lot. This is the interior of Francois' home. We've just come from the door on the left. There's a wall at our back. The doorway before us is the front door, and the passage to the left is a dead end. It's still worth visiting because...



*: Pascal rocks. He's even got his own awesome theme music. (It's not unique to him but it'll be a while before we hear it used anywhere else.) We're given the option to talk to him.

: Hi Pascal! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?
: Bowwow! Bowwow!
: You're a good boy Pascal! Yay! Woo!

Alright, I could play with Pascal all day but I have to get my fetch quest on.



*: This is the generic urban exterior backdrop. Kind of plain, but it's alright because as soon as we leave...



*: Overworld map explanation time!

Well, it's self-explanatory, mostly. We're the blue pointer just east of the northern red house. We can only visit places with a driveway in front, so on this screen, we can access the second red house and the large yellow building to the east. The roads leading out of the neighborhood are blocked; we'll investigate that soon. The pink lines are the rail system.

On the UI front, we have money and magnetite (which we'll learn about later), the phase of the moon (very important, but, you guessed it, not right now), and the name of our current location. Apparently, we're in Kichijoji.

Kichijoji is an actual area in Tokyo, with an artistic, slightly countercultural reputation. (Thanks Wikipedia!) Landmarks include a train station, a covered street housing a shopping district, and a park called Inokashira, all of which are represented in-game and, from what I can deduce, in fairly accurate geographical relation. For some reason I find that all kinds of awesome.

There's a last thing I want to talk about right now. You can't see it on the picture, but our pointy avatar is quickly spinning back and forth, left and right. It's not obvious, but it means our current alignment on the Law/Chaos axis is Neutral. This is likely to change. There is another alignment axis, the Light/Dark one, but human beings are fundamentally Neutral, and this will not change. As of right now, we are Neutral-Neutral. I'll explain more about alignment as it becomes relevant.

The streets are unusually quiet, though there is a tension in the air. This is probably on account of several roadblocks cutting off access to the neighborhood. There's one just up the street, and out of curiosity I go see what's going on.



: We ask for your cooperation in not attempting to leave the area.

Wow, police state much? Sealing off an entire neighborhood for a murder investigation? Seems excessive. Fortunately, I don't have anything to do out there right now. Time to go be a mallrat!



*: The Kichijoji shopping district isn't too big. There a few dead end corridors and empty rooms, and several stores. Entering several locations triggers some dialogue, which is the main way of communicating with NPCs.

I have plenty of time, so I wander around the mall, trying to find something interesting to waste my money on. What I do find, however, is trouble.



: Alright, alright, I'm going! Please don't rev your scooters at me!

Well, that was easy. Moments later, I'm accosted by another, uh, trendily-dressed young man.



: Do you know, by the way? What kind of stuff he's REALLY selling there?
: Well, you're harassing a complete stranger about it. I can hazard a guess.



: Just like everybody else on there, I suppose.
: It was suspicious, though, so I deleted it immediately. These days you never know what kind of stuff the lunatics out there will send you... Seems everyone wants to send you unknown files these days. Have you checked your computer lately?
: If you ask me, lunatics tend to have the best stuff.
: What?
: What?
: What?
: What?
: What?
: Don't judge me!
: What?

Pfft. Loser.



: Need something?
: You got any, uh, stuff?



: You mean you're selling antiques.
: What do you think I'm selling?
: Antiques!
: Are you going to buy any?
: Uh, no.
*: None of that crap is any use. That I know of.
: Plus I'm not blowing a month's allowance on a hanging scroll. I like my walls like I like my women: beige and naked.
*: What?
: What?
*: What?
: Don't judge me!
*: What?
: I'm not selling to people that can't see the value of my wares!
: Dude, that buddha is made of solid gold! The value of your wares is completely obvious!

The old man points at the door. I leave, defeated. That's enough messing around anyway, I need to get some coffee already.



Man I love this cafe.


: Yeah. These things happen.
: They say that her murderer dismembered her too. Nasty!

Well, if he left her remains all over, that'd explain why the whole neighborhood is closed off.



You're a Japanese schoolgirl. Is there ever a single day that passes without giving you a very real reason to be scared of something?



: HOLYSHI---I mean, hi! Hello!
: It's like a dream, seeing you again in a place like this! Hehe...

Of course. I must have seen her here before. Did I introduce myself? I must have.

She's almost done with her coffee.

: Give me a moment to get my own, and I'll be right with you.

That's weak, but somehow I feel the need to compose myself for a moment. She only smiles. On my way to the counter, I overhear a conversation...


: Rumor has it the director of the hospital has been acting really weird lately. Someone even said he's been performing weird experiments late at night, but that's probably just made up.

I wonder if that has anything to do with the murder.



: Yes sir! Here's your money!
: Money? Don't worry about it, I'll bring it to your house and you can pay me then.
: Really?
: Seriously! It's all right! Don't worry about it!
*: Ha, he's so trying to get with your mom!
: DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?

Ugh. Time to get back to Yuriko's table...



Well, crap. I'm done here.


: He's babbling about monsters or demons or something...

Normally I would stay far away from someone like that, but I remember the morning's strange e-mail. Maybe... maybe I should go see what's going on. Just for a quick listen.


: Oh, I will.

The back of the drugstore is a short dead end. I passed by a few minutes ago and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. The place still seems quiet... no, there's... there he is!



: Settle down, sir, I'm not...
: Come any closer and I'll cut you to... A... Agh, Agh... AAAAAARGH!



: HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK

>The Gaki lunged at you!
>The Gaki ran away.
>An Attack Knife is lying on the ground a few feet from the dead man's hand.
>François took the Attack Knife.

*: That's the weakest weapon in the game, but it's better than nothing.

I'm okay. I'm bleeding, but I'm okay. It's just a scratch. What the hell happened?

*: I've actually taken five points of damage. That's a little less than a quarter of my health.

Suddenly I know what I'm spending my allowance on.



*: This survival shop sells basic armor, if you can call it that. I buy a Survival Vest and some sort of ill-defined Headgear, leaving me with 6000 yen. I can afford Leather Boots and Leather Gloves, but their effect is marginal, and besides I'll soon want a weapon upgrade that'll set me back 7000. I could and probably should hit the drugstore for some medicine but I'm going to wing it for now.

: Thank you very much. Our shop will be able to provide all of your survival needs. I guarantee it!
: I sure as hell hope that's all it's gonna take.

Time to go home.

*: The short walk is uneventful. Nothing else is out of the ordinary.

: Welcome home, François. Where have you been?

I'm hiding my bloodstained shirt underneath my new vest. There's no need to make a scene about a little... a little claw rake.

: I was just hanging out at the mall, mom. By the way, the coffee guy insisted on coming here himself. I'm not sure what that was about.
: Try not to get home too late, it makes me worry. But I suppose it's good for a boy your age to be active. Hey, Francois, have you heard? A girl from the local school was killed in Inogashira Park.
: Yeah, I heard about that at the cafe.
: It sure has become a lot less safe recently. I don't feel safe walking the streets at night any more...
: Well, the police seem to have started paying attention, at least. But if you need to go out in the evening, just ask me, I'll go for you.
: Oh, that's right! Be sure to take Pascal out on a walk occasionally.

I excuse myself. I'd like nothing more than a good night's rest right now, and that's exactly what I plan to get.

: Good night, Francois.
: G'night, mom.

[François]

Fffffffffff-




-uckballs.

*: Once again, I'm no longer in control of movement in here.

: Alright, whatever. Let's see where this goes.



: I hope you're happy enough to stick around this time.
: Don't forget that I will always be by your side...

Supposing for a moment that this is more than just a dream, this girl is getting way too clingy with a guy she saw for all of ten seconds at the coffee shop. And, come to think of it, she's not ghostly white, and I never had to call her name. She's still hot, though.

In the blink of an eye, she's gone. Always by my side, my ass. We press forward, along the corridor and through a doorway.



Did I mention I was creeped out before? If I was, I was lying. Now I'm creeped out. What the hell is going on? It's a girl up there, but it's not Yuriko.

(Tetsuo): What's the weird ceremony?
(Kaneda): Do you think they're trying to summon some sort of demon?
: ...Take this young soul, our sleeping dark master!

>They're trying to sacrifice the girl. Will you save the girl?

*: There's an actual choice here. The proceedings are mostly the same either way except for some dialogue from my companions, but I'm almost certain there's an alignment effect.

: Alright guys, I hope you brought your brass ones because we are crashing this party.
(Tetsuo): Take a good look, the guy in the back has one bigass sword, and we're unarmed! We don't stand a chance!
: Dude, we're ghosts. The least we can do is give it a shot.
: Who dares interfere with our ceremony!

It's the punctuation police! What have you done to that question mark, you monster?

: Francois! You've come to rescue me! Quickly, call my name!



If you saw that coming, don't take a shot.

: What!? This girl's name is Kei!?

Not an Akira fan, I see.

: Yeah, that's right!
: Oh my god! If that's true, then... Aaaargh!

*: I'm not sure what happens here. The cultists vanish. My guess is that they run away, but "argh!" isn't a fleein' scream, it's a gettin' stabbed scream.



: Aw, shucks...!
: If I had gotten sacrificed, a terrible Demon Lord would have been summoned... Ah, I can feel the power that had been drained from me returning!



*: I vaguely remember her getting worthy spells, so I'm pumping up her magic. You may notice I haven't increased luck for anyone but the hero. I could have, there's some effect in combat regarding criticals and the like, but only the hero's luck counts in terms of getting first strike in battle and finding items afterwards, so I choose to distribute these points in a more visibly useful manner here.

: We will not meet until later in the future. And then it is our destiny to be separated again... Come see me some time...
: Alright, I will. That's a promise.



Huh. At least it feels like I managed to accomplish something this time.

: Just because you have today off doesn't mean you can sleep all day! Come on, wake up!
: I'm up! Gimme five minutes! I gotta check my e-mail!

: >You've received a file on your computer.



Err. O... kay?

: >Downloading... You got the Auto-Mapping Program. >The connection dropped.

*: It does exactly what it says on the tin. It's kind of a pain to use because it's buried under two menu layers, but it's still incredibly useful.

It's hard to justify it in terms of the "real world", but you gotta keep in mind that our hero's literally wearing a computer on his arm.



This is never properly touched in the game itself as far as I know. It's doubtful we've had time to prepare this in the day or so we've been playing, so we must have had it for a while. I don't want to be all "NERRRRRRRRRRD!!!", but...
: Screw you. We didn't have iphones in 199X. In fact, my rig's pretty damn awesome for the time.

: Francois, how long do you plan to sleep!?

Alright, I'm going. I don't need her to think she needs to barge into my room. Again.

*: We get the Computer/Save/Go to sleep menu again, but trying to use the computer results only in a dropped connection, and going to sleep results in a "too early" message. Off we go!

: Good morning, Francois!
: Hello mom.
: What happened to you last night? You were calling out to someone in your sleep.
: Oh, err... Well, you see, that is...
: I think it was a woman's name... The girl next door, Kei, was it?

I... what's wrong with me? Was she...? Is she the same Kei? I should have recognized her. I really should have.

: Eh? Why are you turning red all of a sudden? It can't be...
: Dammit mom, we are not having this talk again!

I start walking out.

: Be careful, Francois. Don't come home too late!

I run into Pascal on my way out. I briefly think of taking him along; he's no small dog, and to be honest I'd very much enjoy the company if nothing else, if it turns out that this is all in my head. But if it really is getting dangerous out there, I don't think I could stomach putting him at any risk.

: I've got a promise to make good on, Pascal. You watch the house while I'm gone, alright?
: Bowwow! Bowwow!
: See you soon, buddy.

The streets are empty. That's unusual. The police roadblock is still in place. I almost want to go ask them how long they'll be there, but I sharply remember yesterday's events and think better of it. I'm carrying a dead man's knife. If I got some of his gore on me from how that... that thing shredded his neck, they'll probably be able to detect it somehow, and then they'll try to pin the whole thing on me, and probably that girl's murder too! No, it's best I go about my business quickly and then lay low for a while. Hell, it's reckless just to go out right now. I hope I won't get Kei in trouble. I shouldn't even risk asking her about the dream, but I have to know.

*: Kei's house is the red house just south of Francois'.



*: Oh, huh. I forgot Pascal's theme plays here too. GUESS I WAS WRONG! It's probably more of a "friends" theme then. It's still good! (Look forward to a music episode soon-ish, there's a lot to post in there.)

: Hello, sir. Is Kei home?
: My daughter's in her room at the moment. Hey, Kei! Francois' here to see you!
: Okay, I hear you!

*: I could have dropped by yesterday, but Kei wouldn't have been home. The good doctor would only refer to her as "my daughter" at the time, obviously. The game's not that creepy.



: Hi, Kei! Listen, uh. This is gonna sound weird but... Have you had an unusual dream lately? Like... with corridors and stuff?

She looks at me with a perplexed expression on her face. Man, this feels so wrong. I hope she doesn't think I'm about to confess my undying love or anything. She's pretty, sure, and we've known each other for a while, but we're really just neighbors. That, or I'm spectacularly dense.

...nah.

: Eh? A dream? I didn't have any strange dreams like that.

It's kind of a relief. She doesn't make a big deal of it. In fact she clearly has something else on her mind.

: Argh... I was going to go on a date today, but with those stupid police, I can't go anywhere. This sucks!
: On a date, huh? Anyone I know?
: Eh? Who am I going out with? That's none of your business. I can go out with whomever I please, yeah?
: That's not what I meant! It's just... there's all the-

She pushes me out of her room and slams the door shut.

: -you know, the murders.

I don't think she heard me. Oh well. Deserted streets, here I come.

I should go home and wait this out. It's clearly all in my imagination. A guy slit his throat in front of me, I was high from the smell of the "stuff" in the antiques shop, so I grabbed the knife and cut myself and had a fucked up dream with talking walls, flying crosses, satanists, naked ghosts, a random chick from the cafe and a girl with the same name as a childhood friend. I need to rest. I need... I need...

I need to make sure I'm not being followed. Did I just see something move?

: Show yourself! I'm not afraid!

[Saturn]

is pixie ALWAYS the first thing you run into in SMT games?

[François]

Random encounters have been turned on ever since I've left home this morning, and I could have run into any of the exterior Kichijoji demons first; in fact, I've run two short test games prior to this LP to get emulator settings sorted out, and my first encounters were Mou-Ryo and Brownie. Pixies are pretty much always in the first batch of randoms, though, and if I remember correctly, in Nocturne one is always your first ally but never your first encounter.

[François]

It's true, I'm not afraid. Afraid is not the right word, terrified is. Either there's something very wrong with me, or there's something very wrong with the universe.

That said, I could think of less pleasant hallucinations...


*: Yeah so I happen to own a Pixie figure, by fortunate accident.



*: This is the encounter screen. If I remember correctly, it precedes every random encounter in the game, except when hostile demons get the drop on you. Then it's straight into combat.

Again, much of it is self-explanatory, but there are a couple things worth mentioning. The Auto command enters auto-combat, a spectacularly useful feature that resolves battle in a few moments without player input, for good or for ill. It's not recommended for fights where strategy will be even a little bit required, but it does make wiping the floor with trivial enemies a breeze.

Also, you may notice the gray figures at the top of the screen. They represent the number and health of my opponents. In this case, there are two pixies here, at full strength. The game never displays more than one opponent at a time. The figures switch to a "wounded" stance when the appropriate creatures' HP runs low.

The Fight and Escape commands are obvious, and Talk, well...



: Hello, ladies!

Dang, look at the smooth operator!



>Pixie is taunting you.
>What will you do?
   -Smile
   -Act scared

:
: You look weird! Yaah!

*: And by "yaah!" she means "i will kick your face in, you fucking creep!". The incredibly badass battle theme starts playing as I am returned back to the encounter menu, where trying to Talk again gives me the message "No time for talk, they're out for blood!"

I draw my knife, if a bit reluctantly. I really don't feel like stabbing two 4' tall women, but I don't want to be remembered by history as the guy who got beat to death by a couple of fairies in the first few hours of the demon invasion.



*: You can have both a melee weapon and a firearm equipped, so you have commands for either. Comp(uter) is the command to summon and dismiss allied demons in battle. (The human characters who will eventually join my party have a Magic option instead.) Seeing as I don't have a gun, an item, a friend, or a compulsion to cower while screaming "not in the face! please, not my beautiful face!", my options here are limited.

First round of combat, I hit one of the Pixies, and she goes down. Her friend casts Hapilma.

Hapilma is a status effect spell. It has a chance to cause the "Happy" status.



Normally this would be a lot of fun, but being engulfed in a feeling of bliss has a fair chance of causing you to herpderp a turn away as you bask in utter cosmic joy. This sucks more than you'd think.

Fortunately, I was so far in the dumps that it only perked me right back up to neutral. The pint-sized bitch managed to get a feeble hit in, but I had no trouble slicing her head clean off. I earned 32 EXP, which was enough to ding me to level 2!



For my troubles, I earn some HP and a single stat point. And by a single I mean one. Uno. Ichi. One single, solitary, agonizing stat point. I put it in Stamina.

On the plus side I only need 8 more exp to get to level 3!

I also loot 8 yen, a Magic Stone, and an Aquamarine. That's a cool haul for the first battle! I didn't think I was going to have to mention those so early.

A Magic Stone is a fairly common item from drops and chests, IIRC. It restores 25% of one's HP, but most importantly it is often requested as a gift in conversation. I don't think you can buy them anywhere, so they're an important resource to manage.

Aquamarine is a valuable gem used in trading at a specific location. It's not super rare, but it's still a really cool find.

And finally, as I plan on doing for every new encounter from now on, I'll talk about whatever creature we just met.

Lv2 Yousei Pixie
That's, well, a pixie, a cute little magic flying woman. She's a fairly good caster, able to use Hapilma, Dia (the basic heal spell) and Zionga (a powerful single-target lightning spell). Her strength is low and she's not exactly durable, but in these early areas that's not a colossal deal. I'm definitely going to try to recruit one.

And what's "Yousei"? Glad you asked! That's the pixie's family. All demons belong to a family, a group whose members have roughly similar natures, origins, worldviews and/or goals, and always with identical alignments. That doesn't mean that they're always allies, or even friendly with one another though. The Yousei are basically fey folk, sociable magical beings who tend to follow their own whims and fancies over anything else. They are Neutral-Neutral.

Oh, and, one last thing, while I think about it. You can't talk a demon into joining you if their level is higher than yours. Pixies are level 2, therefore my earlier attempt at conversation was doomed to failure in that particular regard.

I just killed the hell out of two pixies! This demon invasion is a good as beaten now! Rejoice, Tokyo, for your hero walks your streets! Please don't throw too many nubile young maidens at me at once!

Uh-oh. I don't get too far before two more Pixies show up. Well, I really have nothing to fear now, this should be a cinch.

*: For those of you who are worried that I'm going to write up every conversation in detail like that, allow me to set your minds at ease:  that's not gonna happen. I'll detail a few here and there because it's an important part of the game, but the vast majority of them I'm just gonna skip over. Anything else would be an insane amount of work.

: For your information, I literally just took care of two of your buddies.
: I'll have a little bit of fun with you, if that's what you want!
: That's pretty kinky, considering my knife is a quarter as long as you are tall.
: Can you kill demons in cold blood?
: Heck, yeah. Well, I'm more of a legitimate defense kind of guy, but you step to me, I bring the pain, white boy.
: No! Don't make such a scary face! What is it you want?



*: I've got her attention; the first step of conversation is over. Now I have to decide what I want from her. If I ask for cash or magnetite (not that I know what that is yet), she may or may not give me some, then leave. The amounts are random but usually higher than what I'd get from looting her corpse. I do have something more interesting in mind, though.

: Well, I have faced your kind in battle, and there I found a worthy opponent. Plus I have a thing for redheads. Will you come with me? Pretty pretty please?
: Give me 113 yen!

Oh. Oh! Oooh... So that's how it's gonna be, huh?

*: Yeah, deep down, demons are all business. It's worth noting that anything you give them from this point on is lost forever, even if the talks go south and you end up killing and looting them. Anyway, I give her 113 yen, she asks for 97 more. I give her 97, she asks for, err, 49 magnetite. I don't have any, but nothing is fucked, she'll take a Magic Stone instead. Well, it just so happens...



>Yousei Pixie became your minion.

Did...

Did I just score?

I expect her to sit on my shoulder or something, but she turns into ones and zeroes and disappears. What the whuh?

*: We've been using the Demon Summoning Program this whole time. We don't speak the same language; the computer is actually translating for us. For some reason I choose not to dwell on that too much and pretend we all gots the babelfish, yo. We do have a brand new pixie.exe file on our hard drive, though.

How does summoning work? I hit A to go to the main command menu, choose Comp/Summon Minion, and pick the ally I want to summon. It's not that simple, though. Summoning a demon to the material realm requires a payment. In this case, the Pixie asks for 64 yen every time I want to summon her (though she'll stay summoned until I dismiss her, it's not like I have to pay her for every battle). Stronger demons will ask for more.

There's another thing: magnetites. How do they work?

Magnetite is a glowy green ooze that must be consumed by demons to maintain their presence in this world. In game terms, every step you take, the demons you have currently summoned eat a certain amount of magnetite, according to their CP (consumption points?) stat. Pixies have a CP of 1, but stronger demons have proportionally higher CP. If you run out of magnetite, summoned demons gradually lose health and die.

Right now, I can technically afford to summon my Pixie, but she'll start dying right away. I'll first need to get magnetite by looting it, finding it, or extorting it.

Well, I'm suddenly emboldened. I want to find Kei, but I need some info first, and supplies. To the mall!

*: On the way there, I meet...



I try to be obnoxiously cheerful at him, and it disgusts him so much that he pays me 324 yen to get out of his sight.

This sets a dangerous precedent.

Lv4 Akuryou Ghost
A ghost is a ghost, really.

Akuryou are the souls of dead humans who remain among the living, though they are not powerful enough to have physical bodies and can only manifest as shades or spectres. They are Dark-Chaos.

A few words on alignment are necessary here. Regarding the Light/Dark axis, demons only willingly associate with their exact alignment. As a Neutral, we can summon and command either extreme, but we can never talk a Light or Dark demon into joining us (though we can still negociate with other goals in mind). We must acquire their services through other means.

On the other hand, for the Law/Chaos axis, demons only refuse to work for their opposite alignment. As long as we are Neutral, this axis doesn't really matter, but if we shift either way, the other extreme will stop working for us entirely and be unavailable to summon. This can be a pain in the ass.

Finally, killing a Law demon nudges our alignment ever so slightly towards Chaos, and vice versa. It's therefore crucial to know what alignment the various families are. There's a Neutral buffer zone to cross before we officially switch, but it's still something to keep in mind, especially when grinding.

Alright then, to the mall, for real this time.

*: Split due to character limit. Huh. Continued soon!

[François]

: Dude, this is a knife shop. The swords count, I guess, but these over there are clearly axes.
: I sell blades, okay? Are you here to buy a blade, or are you here to bitch about my display?
: Actually I could use a pair of tonfa. Do you carry those?
: Uh... yeah.
:



: That replica sword is hella sweet... but... if I carry one in combat I will never ever get laid, for love or magnetite.

*: The unnamed katana (12 power, 7 accuracy) is arguably the best weapon here, but tonfa (6/2) hit twice per round and are a good value. I sell "my" attack knife and get the latter.

The male/female symbols indicate which gender can equip the item, and the capital A indicates that any alignment can use it.

: Thank you very much! Now don't use that to hurt anyone!

Moment of silence.

I laugh. He laughs. Good times!

Now, where do I find something to hurt?

*: I take this opportunity to revisit the shopping district. It's now crawling with creepy critters.



Lv2 Machine Kugutsu
Clearly an animated mannequin. They have high defense but aren't too difficult to kill anyway.

Machines are... machines. I can't find it in the guides or the manual but I bet they are Neutral-Neutral. I'm fairly sure you can't accomplish much through conversation with them. They'll summon help or attack or something.



Lv1 Shiki Zombie
A zombie! Their accuracy is shit and they occasionally choose to defend.

Shiki are animated corpses, your typical mindless undead. They're not much for conversation either. They don't have enough brains to form an opinion on the nature of the universe and are therefore Dark-Neutral.



Lv2 Chirei Brownie
Mischievous little gnomes from Scottish/British folklore. They can be friendly, inclined towards harmless pranks, or even somewhat mean. Here, they're annoying midget douchebags with a Happy-causing dance and Sukukaja (an accuracy buff spell, fairly pointless right now).

Chirei are earth spirits, or generally magical creatures who draw their power from the earth and nature. They are Neutral-Law.

We spend a while threatening to kick each other's asses. He thinks I'm bluffing. I -know- he's bluffing. Then...



Boy I'm glad my Pixie's not around to hear this.

: I... Err... I don't know if I can make any promises. Maybe?
: I can't even pick up a decent girl either...
: Wh... what? You goddamn fucking Smurf reject! Why don't you come say that to my face? I swear hot girls keep throwing themselves at me!

So, yeah. Killed him. Had to, really. Shame.

I know it's not the smartest move, but I decide to return to the alley behind the drugstore. It's the scene of the crime, but it's not really my crime. For some reason I meet a classmate there.



I'm not sure if he's making fun of me.

I head back to the cafe. Frankly I'm not sure there's even going to be anybody there.

...there are. Huh!

: Something big went down at Shinjuku, I hear. Whatever it was, it was serious enough to shut it off from the rest of the city. All the trains have been stopped until further notice! So we can't go anywhere... We're stuck here! What a drag!
: Hell, something big's happening right here too. I... I don't mean...! Please come back! ...Aw.

: Some guy called Ozawa was here earlier looking for Kei.

Uh-oh. That's the scooter gang jerk from yesterday. I'm not sure if he's talking about... Kei, or other Kei, but either way it's bad news!

: I wonder why that old Echo building by the south entrance to the station is still abandoned? It's in a nice spot. There're a million things they could do with it.

*: Technically I can go there now, but the doors are locked.

The barista now has actual coffee for sale, but I'm trying to save my money, and besides it only restores a few HP. Talk's free, though.

: You hear about the murder in the park? Talk about a shock! They closed the whole place down because of it, but I hear they're going to reopen it. Even after it was closed, there was some strange old man that was hanging around the entrance. Maybe he's a homeless guy?

A strange old man, eeeeeeh?

: The old empty store next to the survival shop has recently become a hangout for a gang of local punks.

I leave the cafe and run into some pixies.


: Oh I definitely will! You have no idea!
>Pixie left.

*: If you run into a friend of one of your current allies, they'll usually let you go without a fight if you give them a chance to, and sometimes they'll even give you presents. This is all kinds of useful. Many dungeons are much easier if you manage to befriend some of their more annoying denizens.

This is a good a time as any to mention that you can never have two identical demons with you.

I check on Ozawa and his goons, but they still tell me to make like a leave and tree. As much as it pains me to admit it, my next lead is... the mysterious old man. Who was looking for me. Le sigh. Let's go to Inokashira Park.

*: At this point I go back home to sleep off my few wounds first, but nothing new happens. It's just free healing now.

Ooh, no, wait, mom has something to say.

: Good morning, Francois!
: Good morning, mom.
: The daughter of the doctor next door has reached that age... There must be a lot to worry about with a daughter like that. I'm glad you're a boy, I have to worry a lot less.
: You mean you're not worried I'm gonna get some girl pregnant?

She smiles. I'm not sure if she's trying to hold back laugher, or if I'm just imagining she's trying to hold back laughter. Oy! I have half a mind to summon my pixie, but it'll freak her out. That, or she'll think I'm into lolis, and freak out even more.

Back outside, on the way to the park...



Lv1 Gedou Thug
A random mugger. It's hard to tell if he's possessed by a demon or if he's just an asshole. He's easily intimidated into cowardice and will pay you to leave him alone ("I didn't recognize you! Please, take this and let me go!"), but he's also an easy kill if you care for the single point of EXP it'll earn you.

Gedou are not a family so much as a catch-all term for assorted semi-intelligent abominations that know little but hunger, fear and hatred. In this game it's also the miscellaneous category for whatever doesn't fit anywhere else, including possessed humans like this Thug. They are Dark-Chaos, and IIRC the legitimately monstrous ones are impossible to negociate with under normal circumstances. In fact, in SMT: Nocturne, where alignment isn't an obstacle to recruitment, you can't even talk to Gedou without a special skill.



Lv2 Gedou Yakuza
A slightly tougher Thug. I don't remember if they have special abilities, but it can't possibly be enough to make them a threat.

*: I meet some Brownies under a full moon. Normally this wouldn't be worth mentioning, but it reminded me that the full moon drives demons crazy and they become impossible to talk to.

Alright, to the park! There's a roadblock in the way, but it's not manned by police anymore.





: I'm beginning to be just a little tired of strangers who know my name.
: Yes, yes, I see. Yes, you are quite special indeed.
: Sir, I've killed a brownie earlier today for less than that.
: Maybe you don't see it now, but it is quite possible that one day you will wield power beyond your wildest imagination.
: Alright, now you're talking!
: Light and Darkness, Law and Chaos... The delicate balance that this world rides on is beginning to tip. While the forces of Law and Chaos that are in motion now are still weak, there will come a time soon where they shall gain power and momentum, vying for supremacy over each other. However, it matters not on which side the weight falls. Either way, the result will be the same, a scale unbalanced. If you were in charge, which, if either, would you choose?
: I've played D&D too, sir. But... I don't know. The forces of Law and Chaos? What does that even mean? And why do I matter that much?
: Be mindful! No matter which path you take, there is no turning back once the decision has been made.

A moment passes.

: ...Why don't you show me what you're capable of for the time being?



: ...you'll see, old man, I'm capable of... I.. what? What!? Why are you here? Why am I here? And why do you keep asking me like I know?
(Tetsuo): Dreaming in the middle of the afternoon? Oy, now I'm really losing it!
: We're all losing it, buddy!



The walls have that familiar undulation to them, but this is not some sort of dreamland. It's a real place! I'm sure of it!

We're guided forward again, up several flights of stairs. This is some tall building. Four stories? Five?


: Mom!? What are you doing here?
: It's dangerous ahead! Don't any of you go a step further!

I try to protest, but it's like I can't push the words out. I know she's right.

: ...I know I can't stop you. But if you die, what will I do...?

She disappears. Dammit! What the hell's going on? Where's that old man?

There's a room marked "Terminal" up ahead.



: My brethren! Come forth from the depths of the Abyss!



: We're pissing in the devil's cheerios, that's what we're doing!
: As you have seen our ceremony, I cannot allow you to leave this place alive!!

We're shoved back into the hallway. The man follows us and... transforms.



: Were... were those your cheerios? By any chance? Look, I'll get you a new box. No harm done, right? Okay? Please?

This ain't gonna work. Just as I leap forward with my tonfa, I notice Kaneda and Tetsuo producing handguns. Suddenly I'm not so sure I'm the brains of this outfit anymore.

*: Kaneda and Tetsuo both plink Doman for 4 damage each, then it casts Sibabu, a spell that inflicts Paralysis. Tetsuo shrugs it off, but Kaneda and I are immobilized.

We're down but not out! This'll wear off... eventually.

I hope.

[François]

Huh? I'm back in the...

: The way you are now, you don't stand a chance.
: Reluctantly, I am forced to agree with your assessment of my current ability.
: If fate so decrees, you shall meet that one again. Ready yourself before you rush ahead...

*: The demons we've met so far have been cakewalks, especially with my character's focus on strength and stamina. This single simulated round against Doman is the game's clever way to tell you that much harder times lie ahead. Sibabu was not too impressive, but I'm pretty sure the asshole can cast Maharagi instead, a spell that deals about 20 points of fire damage to everyone. We're out of his league.

Choujin are humans who have fused with demons. This is an extremely rare occurence; most human/demon relations end up in servitude or possession instead. Their alignment varies.

Before proceeding further into the park, I go back to the mall; I want to try to befriend a (sigh) Brownie.



Lv4 Gedou Moryo
Your basic earthbound human soul. They don't maintain enough personality to count as Akuryou. Rather, they're lumps of anguish and misery without any real memory of their former selves. Their claim to fame here is Tarunda, an attack debuff spell.



Lv3 Shiki Obatarion
I had no idea what that was, but it's apparently an undead middle-aged woman. It's one of the tougher Kichijoji enemies, for what that's worth. She can poison you, which does about what you expect.



Lv5 Yuuki Gaki
Ah-ha! That's the demon who killed that man earlier. Gaki (or Preta, in later games) are hungry demons, beings in Hindu and Buddhist cosmology that are a very low stage of reincarnation inflicted upon the greedy and covetous. They are absolutely wretched creatures, their stomachs distended with hunger but their necks too slender to swallow anything. They are more to be pitied than feared, but some are hungry for flesh and blood and can be dangerous.

Yuuki are foul undead creatures whose defining attribute is hunger for human flesh. They are Dark-Chaos.



Lv2 Shiki Lady Zombie
A slightly stronger zombie. This game is so progressive!

*: The people at the cafe have some new stuff to say!

: The police finally finished their investigation of the park, and we're allowed back in again.

: The other day, I saw the police arrest some guy. But instead of taking him to the police station, they took him to the hospital! I wonder why they did that?
: Sounds like police brutality to me!

: You know about the old abandoned Echo building by the south entrance to the train station, right? Rumor has it that monsters have taken over the place!
: Wow. You don't tell me. Monsters! How completely unexpected.
: At least that's what some squatters who were there claimed, but they may have just been high.
: Yeah, high on antiques, I bet.

: Oh, so that weird old guy was in Inogashira Park?

*: After I bit of trying, I finally recruit a Brownie. Negociations with a certain type of demon are more difficult if you've killed a bunch of them in the past. I've been slaughtering them left and right, so that probably handicapped me.

I'm going back to Inogashira, to the building at the end of the road.



It's not very large, as you can see. Two of the rooms contain treasure chests... or, rather, cardboard boxes.



: There's an odd box here! What's that box? Hmm, just a box.

Alright, enough of that. One contains 400 magnetite (score!), the other has an ointment.

*: Ointment is a mundane healing item, available for sale at the drugstore.

The third room is marked "Kaifuku".



: What business have you in the Healer's Dojo?

*: The Healer's Dojo is an unaffiliated (well, Neutral) location that offers all kinds of healing services, including status effect removal and resurrection. They're going to be the main source of healing throughout the game. They also have several magical healing items for sale, but they're a bit expensive right now. Interestingly, the cost of healing depends on how much HP and MP you need restored, rather than being a flat fee.

The last room is marked Jakyou.


: Whoah, what's with the giant dongs?
: I would appreciate it if you referred to the fusion pylons by their proper n... Oh, who I am kidding? Look, kid, don't ask, alright?
: Err, ooooookay.

*: This is where demon fusion is performed. This is a rather complicated process, but basically, you pick 2 (or 3) demons and merge them into a new one. The result of the fusion depends on the level of the original demons and their respective families. Fusing Family A with Family B will always result in a demon of Family C. For example, a Chirei and a Yousei fusion will always result in a Youki demon. If I put Pixie and Brownie in the pot, I'll get...



Lv10 Youki Azumi
I'm not entirely sure of the details, but I think we can go with "generic fishman". They have Zio, the basic lightning spell, and Me-Dia, which is a group heal spell. I... don't remember what "Wall of" is supposed to be.

Youki are warlike, destructive demons, acting according to their individual desires and emotions rather than obeying a leader or following a greater cause. They are Neutral-Chaos.

Clearly this is a major upgrade, and if I want a replacement Pixie I just have to go recruit another. Unfortunately I'm not level 10 yet and could not control the Azumi, so it'll have to wait.

An important element of fusion is that you can make Light or Dark demons out of some Neutral demon combinations, allowing you to get your hands on creatures that would never let themselves be talked into allying with you.

Well, that was instructive, even though I can't make much use of these facilities yet. I could go on and investigate the neighborhood some more, but I've taken a bit of a beating and really I'd much rather go home for a rest. I need to make sense of this.

On my way, I decide to investigate a roadblock again.


: Nobody can pass!

I don't like this, but... I suppose it's about time somebody started taking things seriously.



Man, I have the worst feeling. Pascal's still here, and he's jolly as ever, so maybe I'm worried about nothing. She probably just... went out with... the coffee man. Oy.

*: I go to sleep. Mom's still not back by the time I wake up.

Okay, this is crazy, I need to go out and find her. Someone must have seen her. Maybe Kei's dad saw her leave.



: Y... yeah.
: You're under arrest for murder! We found your bloody fingerprints at the scene!
: Oh shit!
: You sick little puppy, tearing out that guy's throat like that! Restrain and handcuff him, boys!

NO! FUCK! NO! NO!

MOM!

[Envy]

This thread reeks... Of KARMA!

[François]

is

is that good?

[Classic]

It is...
TYRANNICAL!

[Mothra]

That... That's cool... I'm cool with that right now.

[François]

: It was a Gaki! It was a fucking Gaki! They're crawling all over the mall, open your goddamn eyes!



Dammit!

: And screw it, I don't even care, I'll confess to whatever you want, but you need to find my mother! She's done nothing wrong!

Nobody hears me. Hell, I can't hear anything. It's like the whole building is empty.

Okay. Okay. I got to calm down. I can do this. I can find a way out. It's hard to break out of jail, but two days ago I thought it was hard to talk to a fairy. All I need is a plan. For the first time, I pay attention to my cell.

There's somebody in here with me.


: Wait a minute...! You're...


: Yeah, that's me! Who...?
: That wasn't just a dream then! I'm Kaneda! Do you remember me?
: Holy crap! Kaneda! I almost didn't recognize you with your pants on!
: Francois, you won't believe what happened to me.
: I doubt that, but try me.
: My girlfriend just sort of disappeared. While looking for her, I was attacked by demons... and when I killed them, the police arrested me! I need to find her... I'm worried about her! Will you help me look for her?
: I'm looking for someone myself. I think we can help each other out.
: Really!? Thank you!!

>Kaneda joined your party.

: My girlfriend's name is Kei.
: So you're the one...? I've got a neighbor named Kei.
: Eh? You live next door to her? Wow, that's a coincidence... Anyhow, let's try and think of a way to bust out of here.



*: This is Kaneda's equipment. His Machete is a sucker's weapon (500 yen cheaper than the tonfa, but has only 1 more attack power and attacks only once), but he comes with a decent Beretta 95F (22/15) and standard bullets. His armor is the stuff from the Kichijoji survival store. He knows the Dia (basic healing) and Zan spells (basic force-elemental damage).



I can't quite make out what it is. Anyway, I inspect the bars again.



Surgery? So they took us to the hospital like the others... The man opens the gate to take us away.


: Good man!
: Come on, now's our chance! Let's go!

We find ourselves in a cell block. There are other people in here!

*: There are several civilians behind bars. We can't help them, unfortunately.

: Why did I get brought to a hospital after getting arrested? Isn't the police station more the norm?

*: They even locked up one of their orderlies.

: The hospital director is conducting experiments to try and create invincible super-soldiers.
: That's what it's all about? Super-soldiers? When has that ever turned out well?
: It's only a matter of time before I become his next guinea pig...
: If you expect me to feel sorry for you, you can keep holding your breath.


: Steven-san! What are you doing here?
*: ...is that who I think it is?
: A long time ago, I was working on a teleportation device... A network of Terminal Systems that would allow the user to instantly transport him or herself from terminal to terminal.
: An endeavour doomed to failure, no doubt.
: Oh, please.
: Heheh.
: But in the middle of one of my experiments I accidentally opened a portal to the Abyss and summoned a demon.
: This proved to be your un-doom-ing.
: Seriously? Are you gonna be that guy?
: Sorry, sorry. Please go on, sir.
: The demon seemed like it was trying to communicate with me, but I couldn't understand it, and it eventually became hostile and attacked me. I managed to defeat it, but not without sustaining terrible wounds first. The experience motivated me to develop a computer program that would allow people to speak with and befriend demons, making them into minions... Thus, I wrote the Demon Summoning Program. After learning that the terminals were connected with the Abyss, a man named Gotou began to summon and attempt to control them. Knowing that the demons would be coming in large numbers, I sent my Demon Summoning Program to as many people as I could. By increasing the number of people that have the ability to control demons, I was hoping to balance this out and keep any potential demonic revolts from getting totally out of control. Unfortunately, the program itself is harder to master than I had hoped and very few people were able to become full-fledged summoners.
: Yeah, no offense, but your UI kinda stinks.
: Do you understand me?
: I do.
: Very well. Then I shall give you this program to assist you. It is designed to capture and analyze data. It wil scan and analyze any demons that you should meet, and record their data into your computer's memory so that you can refer to it whenever you need to.

>Francois installed the Devil Analyze Program into his computer.

*: In gameplay terms, I now have a command in my non-combat and encounter menus that lets me see the status screen of all demons I've recently met, instead of just the ones in my employ. That's great news!

: If there is anything I can do to help you, please come back and see me.

*: Steven then offers to save the game for me, for some reason.

: Now, go to the director's office on the second floor. I've unlocked the door for you. There should be another switch inside. If you hit it, it should open the gate outside so you can get out of here.
: Thank you ever so much, sir. Before we go, I have to say, I'm a big fan of you and your work. I would have totally read A brief history of time had it only been just a little briefer.
: ...
:
: Okay thanks bye!

*: We're on the first floor of the hospital. The exit is only a few tiles away, but as Steven-san said, there's an electronic lock. I start looking around, but we're not alone.



Lv4 Chirei Knocker
The knocker is an underground-dwelling brownie from Welsh and Cornish folklore. They are named for the knocking sounds heard by miners before a cave-in; traditionally this is seen as a helpful warning to get the hell out of there before it's too late... but that's only a step away from believing them to actually cause the cave-ins themselves. Their Sibabu is of dubious utility on account of their low Magic Effect stat, but Zan is a decent spell and Taku-kaja is a fairly useful attack power buff. I'm going to try and recruit one even if only to keep them from killing Kaneda (the dude is level 1).

*: It's not too long before I reach the second floor.



*: There's one more prisoner here.

: Help me! I don't want to be operated on and altered like some sort of mad scientist's lab rat!
: We're gonna take care of this, just hang on.



*: Incense is awesome. It refills one character's HP and permanently increases one of their stats by one. Considering leveling up only gives you a single stat point, this is a lot. I'm probably going to use all of them on me, except the Magic ones. Using them on the spot is not a completely bad idea but I tend to wait until I need the healing.


: Just like Steven said. Let's go!


: No, but you're about to get some restructural surgery yourself. Of the face. Oops, we're all out of anaesthetic!
: Oh, I see. Then that means you're still evil humans who won't listen to my commands yet. Very well then, if you refuse to play along... I'll have to alter your bodies myself, until you're nothing but mindless drones that follow my every whim!

Wow, someone's got a warped sense of good and evil... and shapeshifting abilities.



*: Derp, I got caught with my pants down; neither of my demons are currently with me, and I need to spend the first two turns summoning them while Kaneda fights. Orias uses Plinpa, a confusion spell. It hits me, but I summon Brownie anyway and the confusion wears off right away.

Next turn, Brownie increases our accuracy, while I summon Pixie into the back row. Kaneda keeps firing, and Orias hits me for 18 damage. Next turn, Kaneda heals me, Brownie attacks, and Pixie spends over half her MP to cast Zionga for a colossal 36 damage. On top of that, Zionga sends Orias in a state of shock, temporarily stunning him. We're in good shape!

I mentioned the back row. There are six slots in the active party, and the last three are the back row. I don't remember the exact effects, but I'll be sure to mention them as I notice them.

Anyway. On the next turn, Brownie is killed in a single blow, but between Kaneda's 22 damage Zan and my tonfa's 7 damage twice per turn, the fight doesn't drag on. Orias puts Pixie and Kaneda to sleep with his Dolminer spell, but I strike the final blow immediately after. This could have gone much, much worse. Brownie's dead (OH NOOOOOOOOOO~), but everyone else is fine, and Kaneda gains 4 levels and the Mapper spell. (Mapper puts a 3x5 minimap overlay in the corner of the screen, which is really quite nice. I think it lasts until the next New Moon.)

: FUCK. YEAH. Who's your daddy now, asshole?
: What... What are you doing?
: You mean you've never heard of teabagging before?
: Looks like fun!
: Okaynevermindletsgo.

Lv8 Datenshi Orias
Orias is a Great Marquis of Hell, commanding thirty legions of demons. He presides over astrology and can change his shape at will.

Datenshi are fallen angels, who rebelled against God's rule and were cast down into hell as punishment. In SMT, Datenshi are taken from the 72 demons listed in the Lesser Key of Solomon, a fairly well-known 17th-century book on demonology. Surprisingly, they are Neutral-Chaos rather than Dark-Chaos. I think that's because the game's mythology emphasizes their role as quintessential rebels without outright condemning their revolution. That said, they are extremely dangerous creatures and care not one bit for mankind.

The "director" out of the way, we can release the entrance lock.

*: ... I just noticed my spoils have put me at exactly 666 magnetite.



*: Aaaanyway. We go back to the entrance. The cells are now empty; I guess the lock release also operated the jail bars. Even Steven is gone.

On the way back, a Knocker drops an Orb, which is basically a better, rarer Magic Stone. It restores HP to maximum.



Hell yeah! Justice served, wrongs righted! That's us! We're Team Awesome!

: Great work, people! Coffee's on me!
: ...coffee? Thanks, I guess.
: Yay!
: Oh, uh, except you. Sorry, it's back to the drive for you. Magnetite doesn't grow on trees, you know.
:
: Wow, she's needy.

*: Before going to the mall, I go get Brownie raised.

: Can you do something for the little runt? He did take one for the team.
: That'll be 300 yen.
: On the other hand, he's technically part of an invasion force, and who knows how many innocent civilians he would have terrorized had I not been there to put him back on the straight and narrow?

*: Ehhhh... I might have to spend a Magic Stone or something to get another one, so I might as well. 300 yen is just three spooked Thugs' worth of money.

On the way to the mall, I meet a Ghost who reminds me (against his will) that some enemies are immune to bullets, and it appears that some others are resistant.

Guns are interesting weapons. They don't need an investment in Strength to be effective, most of them hit several times (some up to 8!), they can be fitted with incredibly useful ailment-causing ammunition, and IIRC they don't have a problem with the back row. On the other hand, they require an investment in Speed to reach their full potential, and they're not effective on all enemies.

Alright, back at the mall to celebrate.



Lv5 Juujin Weredog
A weredog is a man who was bitten by a... Err. Hmm. Wait, people get bitten by dogs all the time, how could a myth possibly spring around that? That doesn't make a lick of sense. Yo, Google, anyone out there actually believes in weredogs?
: Yyyyyup.
Oh. Alright then. There ya go, people. Weredogs! Whodathunk? Anyway, they're a rare but fairly tough opponent with Diarama (an upgraded healing spell) and a special bite attack.

And Juujin are lycanthropes (well, therianthropes). They are Neutral-Neutral.

As we wait in line for our coffee, we overhear a man talking.


: They looked really mad... they're probably going to beat the hell out of the poor guy.
: Kaneda, I don't know if I'm just high on the fumes of justice, but-
: Let's do this!


: Demons my ass! What the hell have you been smoking, you little punk! Rough 'im up a little bit more, boys!

>A single youth is being beaten up by a group of thugs that surround him.

: God, this is awful... I can't let this cowardice continue! Hey you! What do you think you're doing!? Stop that!!

Most of the goons quickly vacate the premises. It's probably thanks to our tangible aura of victory.


: Eh, no big deal. Don't try and fuck with us again, you little pissant, or you'll just get more of the same. Come on, boys!


: Hey, are you all right?
: Shut up! Don't mock me... If only I was tougher, I'd kick your asses...
: So now what, Francois? He's in a daze -- he doesn't seem to know what's going on, talking like that.
: ...H-hey... What did you just say? ...Francois... You said... Francois, right?
: Wait a minute, you look... familiar.

: Then that really wasn't just your everyday dream! And so if you're Francois... then you must be Kaneda, right?
: ...So you must be Tetsuo.
: Now I get it! You guys really saved my butt back there. Ahh... Shit! Damn it all! If only I was stronger... I'm so weak, I can't even handle a bunch of lowlifes like them by myself...
: Look, you were outnum-
: How am I going to beat the demons invading Tokyo when I can't even stand up to a bunch of thugs like Ozawa's gang? Guys! Please, let me come with you! Together we might be able to do something! Even if you say no, I'm still coming along!
: I wouldn't dream of it, man. Welcome aboard!

>Tetsuo joined the party.



*: The guy is well-equipped. His Spike Rod (8/5) is an okay weapon, and his MP5 Machine-Gun (34/3) hits 3-6 times. All his armor is one step above ours. He also comes with Agi, the basic fire-element spell.

It's getting late, and the adrenaline is wearing off. I suggest we head to my house to recuperate, and the others agree without hesitation. I do want to pay a short visit to Kei's dad first, though.


: ...
: It makes me feel better to know that a lunatic like that is off the streets!
:

: Oh, if it isn't Francois! Kei went out somewhere, but never came back.

...

Ozawa, you piece of shit.

[François]

: Yes, of course.
: Kei left, saying she was going to go to Shinjuku, but...
: You look surprised. Didn't I tell you...?
: I was still hoping you were talking about a different Kei. She... didn't seem to know about the dream.
: Hmm.

Alright, let's go home for now.


: Mom!?
: I'm always so worried about you. I'm glad you came home all right in one piece! I'm so happy! Please, come over here to me...
: Where have you been? I thought... I thought you...
: What's wrong? Come here! I love you, always! Come on! Hurry!
: I don't like it. Something's strange here.
: I second that thought. There's something fishy here... it doesn't smell right!
: You... You're not my mother!

: No... No! You...!
: Aw, what's with that face! Come on, there's no reason to be sad. You'll see her soon enough... in my stomach! Until then, why don't you entertain me for a bit!! I hope you taste as good as she did!
:



*: A-N-S is a turtling bruiser with high defense who can boost it even further with Raku-Kaja, and also reduce our physical attack with Taru-Nda. Kaneda and Tetsuo use their Zan and Agi to good effect while I clobber him with puny tonfa blows. I could summon my allies but Brownie's got 2HP left from being resurrected and Pixie's MP is depleted. Fortunately we deal much more damage than we take, and the fight is over in a few rounds.

Tetsuo learns Patora, a recovery spell that nullifies all status ailments except Poison, Paralyze, and Stone.

We find an ID Card on the creature's corpse.

: Francois... I don't think there's anything that I could say that could provide much comfort, but... try not to feel too bad...
: "Try not to feel too bad!?" Damn, that was insensitive, Kaneda! For God's sake man, his mother just got killed! I know you mean well, but don't try to console him... Just give him a moment to himself!
: ...


: Pascal...

>Pascal the dog jumped toward you. It's almost as if Pascal is trying to get you to take him with you. Will you take Pascal with you?

: I'm not going to leave you alone, Pascal. There's nothing for us here anymore.
: Bowwow! Bowwow!

>Pascal came with you.

: Let's get what rest we can. Tomorrow we look for Kei, and I don't care who or what gets in my way.

*: The night is uneventful.

Jaki Ama-no-sakugami
I have no idea. He's not the last obscure Japanese mythological creature we're gonna come across, in any case.

Jaki are your typical angry, mean brutes. Where Youki are merely violent for violence's sake, Jaki are outright malicious and delight in the suffering of others. They are Dark-Chaos.

*: On the way to the train station, I take a few detours and manage to befriend a Weredog. I go back to the Jakyou Mansion to see what my options are. I could fuse the Weredog and Brownie for...



Lv6 Yousei Goblin
You all know what a goblin is, though it's more the ubiquitous traditional folksy type than the D&D greenskin. They've got three of the four -kaja (buff) spells and are decent physical fighters with surprisingly high MP to boot.

While the Master of the Mansion tells me the details I barely notice Pascal chasing Pixie around the place. It looks like they're having fun, so I don't pay too much attention.

...until the Master gets an alarmed look on his face. I turn around to see what he's looking at.



: What the hell is going on?
: They... they must have tripped the mechanism!
: Well what are you waiting for?! Get them out of there!

A strange fluid submerges Pixie, and she... dissolves before my eyes!

: I... I can't. It's too late.
: Too late? It's my DOG in there! He's not a demon! Get him out now!

The fluid begins to rise in Pascal's tube. He... doesn't seem scared. The Master shakes his head.

: If I stop the machine now, who knows what abomination will come out? There's nothing to it, we have to wait and see. I'm sorry, young man.
: Pascal!



: PASCAL!!







What the...?

: Pascal?



: Astounding!



*: In other words...


Lv43 Majuu Kerberos
Here is mighty Cerberus, keeper of the gates of Hades. He doesn't get his extra heads in SMT, for some reason. Using his Special command in the combat menu results in either a bite attack or a spectacular no-MP fire breath. Samaricarm is the upgraded resurrection spell, reviving a dying ally to full HP.

Majuu are supernatural animals, magical versions of their mundane counterparts. Though they can speak, their intellect is an animal one, neither good nor evil. They are Neutral-Neutral.

*: Pascal can't be summoned, but he appears in the Mansion's lists as Dog Pascal. Fusing him with anything results in Kerberos. In gameplay terms, none of the above was accidental, but I wasn't about to try to justify willingly putting him in one of those vats in-character. In any case, Kerberos' incredible power comes at a high cost: he has a CP of 25 and costs over a thousand yen to summon. It goes without saying that he's an exception to the "can't have a demon whose level is higher than yours" rule.

: You are an extremely fortunate young man. I could try to replicate this fusion for the rest of my life and still never succeed. Your companion's desire to help and protect you must be very strong.
: Is... is Pascal in there?
: Both of them are "in there", as you say. Joined, forever changed, but somewhere, deep down, they know, and they remember.

I scratch Kerberos behind the ears; he's almost as tall as I am, but he nuzzles his head against my chest. For a moment, I can believe this is truly Pascal. Then I feel his scaly, snakelike tail coiling around my legs.

: Well, at least he got fused with a cute chick.
: Heh, yeah, I guess so. Alright then, your turn!
:
:

*: I fuse the Goblin, then leave the Mansion. I'm going to pick up another Pixie, then go to the train station.


: They are off-limits to civilians!

They're not kidding either. I know I said I didn't care who got in my way, but I'm not going to accomplish anything if I get myself cut to ribbons by an entire platoon's worth of assault rifles, Kerberos or not. I'm beginning to suspect at least some of them have been "operated" on by Orias, like the policemen undoubtedly were. I need to think of something else.

It hits me. I've heard at the cafe that the abandoned Echo building has been taken over by monsters. It's flimsy, but it's all I got, and for lack of options the guys can only agree with me.

The entrance is locked...



An ID Card, eh?

>You used the ID Card.



We're in. Now that's a lead.

[François]

*: Oh wow. Sorry about the wonky picture cropping on this update, I somehow moved the emulator window out of the capture bounds and didn't realize it until just before uploading. It should be an aesthetic thing only, I don't think there's any real information loss... but still, yeah. I done goofed.

The place seems strangely familiar.

...

This is... this is where the old man sent us! There's no doubt, it's identical!

Will I meet Doman on the top floor? Can I take him on? I certainly feel much stronger, or more resolute at least. And I have Kerberos by my side.

I look at my companions. We're all thinking the same thing.

He's not stopping us this time. Nobody is.

*: The Echo building's individual floors aren't very large, but I find an elevator that goes to 5F. I'm taking the stairs though, I could use the exerc... I mean, the experience.



Lv6 Chirei Kobold
You may think of them as short, annoying lizard- or dog-faced men, but at the source they are more-or-less German Brownies. (Man those two words conjure up an unpleasant thought.) Here they are quick, decent physical fighters with a couple of buff spells. Nothing too remarkable.



Lv5 Jaki Gremlin
We're still in the domain of short, occasionally mean UK pranksters, but this one is a recent one! The Gremlin traces its origins to the British Royal Air Force, where it has earned a reputation for sabotaging aircraft, in which case we can stop talking about pranks and start talking about terrorism. They are extremely quick and can cast Zio, but they are also fragile with low defense and very little HP.



Lv8 Datenshi Andras
Another Great Marquis of Hell, commanding thirty legions of demons. He is known for sowing discord and attempting to kill those who would summon him, which would presumably make him one of the least popular demons out there. In SMT, he joins the ranks of the likes of Orias as an example of infernal nobility who undoubtedly got their position by being expert brown-nosers or the boss' nephew or something; he has unremarkable stats all over and only has high HP going for him. That said, he can cast Agi and cause Happiness and Bind (a less serious form of Paralysis), which makes him (them?) somewhat annoying to fight in numbers.

*: In other news, we meet many large groups of Goblins who leave us alone on account of their inside man in our little group, and we befriend a Knocker. Enemy groups are becoming bigger in general; we frequently encounter five foes together. Tetsuo's machine gun really shines here, to the point where I still don't need to summon anything.

This dungeon also introduces ambush spots, specific locations that trigger an unavoidable battle with an immediately hostile demon. Fortunately, here it's only Brownies, for some reason.



*: We start seeing legitimate treasure chests here. We find an Amethyst and some Luck Incense.

Overall this is much easier than I remembered. I succeed in talking my way out of most battles and come out with several items (including a Molotov Cocktail dropped by an Andras, for some reason) and almost a thousand extra yen. That's the benefit of high intelligence, I suppose. Kobolds keep getting me to give them cash and then running away though, so maybe I'm not that smart.

I almost feel like opening cans of whup-ass on Andras and Gremlins just for the EXP, but that's about where I remember that EXP you receive is relative to your level vs the level of your enemies, so there wouldn't be that much of a point to it.

I eventually reach the fifth floor.


: Yeah, I'm... Huh? Yuriko? What are you doing here? Have you been following us?
: With your power, you'll be able to do anything you put your mind to, so you should be OK.

She's gone again. She said she'd always be by my side, and I'm starting to believe it, even if I don't really understand.



This is it. This is my next trial.

*: I pop a Strength Incense to heal myself, and get Kaneda to top Tetsuo up. Then I summon Kerberos and Goblin. There goes my profit... I change my formation to put Kerberos in front (he's got 420 HP, durr) and the Goblin is in the back so he can buff us in relative safety.

There we go.



Whoa, déjà vu!

: My brethren! Come forth from the depths of the Abyss!



: ...back?

Wait, how does he know we've been here before? I thought it was just a dream!

*: The game asks us if we want to try to escape. I refuse.

: This is the place where my brethren in the Abyss are to be summoned. I cannot allow it to be defiled by your blood!
: If you do remember the last time we met,  I don't think I need to remind you how I mentioned defiling it with something else than blood.
: Get out!

*: We're pushed outside again.

: You won't get away this time! Those who stand in my way will be crushed!



Round 2! FIGHT!

*: Right off the bat I notice Kaneda and Tetsuo have learned Maha-Zan and Maha-Agi. These are group versions of their elemental spells though, so they won't be much use here. Anyway. I use the Extra command for Kerberos, which means he'll randomly use one of his no-MP abilities, either the bite or the flame breath. I attack with my tonfa, Kaneda fires his pistol (I'm saving his MP because he's my only healer this time), Kaneda is using Agi, and the Goblin is going to buff our magic and physical attack power. Let's see how this goes.

Doman opens up with his own Maha-Zan, dealing about 15 damage to me and the Goblin, and 7 to the others. I'm beginning to wonder if the Magic stat affects magic defense... This isn't a huge deal though, I got loads of HP.

The flame breath misses, and our physical attacks aren't so hot. Only Tetsuo got in some decent damage. Next turn, I order Kerberos to simply attack.



Oh! Hmm! Right then! Nice! New strategy: cheer on Kerberos while he does all the work. On the same turn, Doman casts Maha-Agi, and it bounces right off Kerberos. Of course he reflects fire, what am I, an idiot? Another claw swipe later, and the asshole goes down.

Choujin Doman
I... don't think Doman is a mythological figure. It's probably the name of the man who fused with a demon to become whatever he had become.

Suddenly, taking back Tokyo doesn't seem like such a difficult task anymore.

: See that, old man? A boy and his dog!
: Ahem.
: ...aaand his valiant comrades, of course. Couldn't, uh, couldn't have done it without you. Anyway, I hope you guys drank lots of water before leaving this morning, because we've got a ceremonial site to defile.





>Kerberos is growling at the machine. He leaps to attack it!

: Alright boy! Make a mess! That's the spirit!



: Kerberos? ...P... Pascal?

I don't like this. In fact I rather hate this. Let's see what that thing is.


l: Those with valid COMPs may access at their leasure.

>What will you do?
   -Transmit
   -Save
   -Go outside

*: As per series tradition, terminals act as save points and travel hubs.

Transmit, huh? It probably just beamed him somewhere. Let's see if I can find out where he went.

>Choose a destination.
   -Lab

Not much choice then. Let's go.

: Teleporting to lab.


: Whoa!

: Teleportation complete.

It doesn't look like anything has changed, but let's see outside.

: Thank you for using Tokyo-Net Terminals.



Yup, we were definitely teleported. I can't see Kerberos anywhere, though. I'm sure he can take care of himself, but... I hope I can do the same until I find him again.

*: Tutorial's over, kids.


: Holy crap, you look terrible. What's wrong with you?
: So... what on earth is going on in the outside world?
: You know, the usual. Traffic, taxes, murders, demonic invasions. What about in here?
: I've been here working on our secret Terminal System project. I've had to transmit all the data from my experiments over the computer to the main center from here. Three or four days ago, we were attacked by a mob of demons. Everyone was either killed or turned into zombies...
: What... what about you?
: ...Hurry... Get out of here...

*: At first I thought the guy was merely malnourished, but no, he's in the middle of zombification.

In any case he wasn't lying, there are more of the Echo building monsters here. Unexpectedly, I run into five Goblins who don't care that I've got one of their buddies with me. It's kind of a tough fight because they keep buffing their attack power, but nothing we can't handle. I do wish I had, oh, say, a fire breath attack though.

...Oh crap, I permanently dismissed my Goblin instead of returning him, by mistake. No wonder I couldn't pacify that mob.

Along the way, Kaneda learns Parala-Di, a paralysis recovery spell, and Tetsuo learns Posom-Di, an antidote spell.


: Eh wot?
: Take it easy for a while. Get used to your new home. I'm sure you must be tired from your long trip from the Abyss.

I am given no choice but to reach the conclusion that Orcs are retarded.

: I see you've successfully changed into humans...
: Yyyyeah... That's right! Stupid stinky human body, huh? Hatin' it! Haha! Amirite guys?
: Err... Yeah! Yeah! Ha!
: What the hell are you guys talking about?
: Wait a minute, you ARE humans!!
: Great job, Kaneda. When this is over with, I'll make sure you get your Oscar.
: But...
: No time to argue, Brando-sama!



Lv11 Jaki Orc
Your good old pig-faced orc. Origins-wise, we're talking about vintage Tolkien here. The word has older, more obscure origins, but as far as the modern conception, we need go no further. They hit harder than any non-boss so far, and they know Dia. No match for us alone, but if I met a bunch at once I might be in trouble.

Oops, did I say Jaki were Dark-Chaos? They're Dark-Law. How'd I let that slip by me?

*: We're on the second floor of a fairly small building. There are a few Incenses downstairs. And...


: However, Gotou's influence has spread to here as well, and it is now under his control.
: Looks like Gotou's the man behind this, then. I wonder if Ozawa's working for him.
: So... Has my Demon Summoning Program been useful to you?
: It's been a great help, sir.

I ain't kidding. We probably wouldn't have taken down Doman by ourselves.

: Are you satisfied with the number of demons you can make your minions?
: Yeah, haven't run into any problems on that end.
: Really?
: Heck, I didn't even know there was a limit. Is it related to disk space?
: Oh. Well then, that's fine, I suppose. I was thinking I'd increase the number of demons you could keep as minions... But if you're satisfied already, there's no real need to do so...
: Yeah, that's fine, my machine is pretty good as it is.
: Are you satisfied with the number of demons you can make your minions?
: Err... yyyyyyeah?
: Really?
: Oh... Oh! I see! *ahem* I doth love thee with all mine heart, dearest Princess Gwaelin!
: Very well then! Give me that computer, and I'll increase its memory for you!

*: I'm not making that up, we're in a "but thou must" situation here. Steven will not let me go until I've accepted a computer upgrade.

: Done! You should be able to store two more minions than you could before. With this adjustment, my Demon Summoning Program should be even more useful.
: Err... Alright then. Thanks?

*: Back to the task at hand: finding a way out.



: A certain Scotsman helped me out. What do you think?

Idiot. Dead idiot. Man I loathe orcs.



Finally!

I hope we're in Shinjuku, that would be so convenient. It'd make dramatic sense too, putting us right before our goal after all these obstacles. I got a good feeling!



...dammit.

[François]

: Intermission! Hee-ho!

Now that we're done with what would probably be Chapter 1 if this game had chapters, there could hardly be a better time to get my miscellaneous on with a vengeance. So here are various things that wouldn't fit in the narrative, or that would have fit but that I didn't think of at the time.

First: music!

The music in SMT was composed by Tsukasa Masuko. I couldn't find much details on the man, but he's been responsible for composition and sound programming for video games since 1984's Star Force, his works including, among others, pretty much the entire Megami Tensei series since the two Famicom installments up until 1997's Devil Summoner: Soul Hackers. He's still having a mark on newer games, having arranged versions (or even outright reproduced versions) of his tracks used for great effect in the likes of Nocturne and IMAGINE (the MMORPG). He was eventually replaced by Shoji Meguro (a collaborator on Soul Hackers), who's been working on the series since, and has very much preserved its unique feel and sound even through the different sub-series such as Persona and Digital Devil Saga. To be honest, for a while I didn't even suspect the series had more than one composer.


This is the dreamscape music, the first piece that plays after the title screen. It's not something I'd listen to outside the context of the game, but I find it extremely effective at setting the tone for the strange and creepy events that follow.


Music for the hero's home. It's kind of... I don't know, cheesy? At first, it seems unremarkable. But then your mom dies and everytime you go home it still plays and and oh god


The overworld theme. When I think of this series' music in general, this is what I hear. It's modern and cool and still carries a feeling of intensity, of anticipation. It perfectly encapsulates the flavor of the series and manages to do so in a 15 second loop. We're not on a quest anymore, we're on a mission. That, my friends, is a masterpiece of video game music.


The Jakyou Mansion's gorgeous organ piece is easily one of my favorite melodies of all time, all categories. I can't exactly put my finger on why. I just love it. Somehow it expresses the modern-day resurrection of mankind's ancient subconscious, the return of our fears and hopes personified in all their sinister glory. It could have tried to be scary, but it chose to be majestic. Apparently I'm not its only fan: there's an easter egg in Nocturne, where entering the Mansion with Orthros in your party replaces the regular music with this. (Strangely enough, entering it with Cerberus in your party plays the SMTII Mansion music instead.)


The short ambience piece for the Terminal rooms. Another track that is absolutely perfect for its use. Terminals are the bridge between technology and the supernatural; when you look into one, you look into the Abyss. Literally. Doesn't it conjure up the feeling of the apprentice sorcerer sneaking a peek into his master's crystal ball?


The normal battle theme. God I love that battle theme. Seriously, do I even have to say anything? Just listen to it. Daaaaaang. The final 15 seconds of the file is the short negotiation theme, the one that plays before combat in regular encounters and during negociation.


Bonus: Because I can't get enough of the battle theme, here's the Nocturne remix of it. It's used while you're stuck in the glowy red Amala network. Somehow it's even more badass.


And finally for now: Pascal's theme. It's a song for the natural inhabitants of the Earth, finding comfort and aid in their friends and allies while the world goes batshit crazy around them. It's a song for two buddies sharing a beer five minutes before the apocalypse. It's a song for a boy and his dog, standing before heaven and hell unleashed.
(Mighty sorry about the pops, but the song's not on the soundtrack and I had to convert it from SPC myself. I blame SNESamp.)

Second: random thoughts!

***: Take another look at the map to the building in Inokashira Park.



I never noticed it before, but those interior walls... that's a swastika! And I mean the good kind of swastika, the one that's about blessings and good fortune. Apparently, it facing left or right doesn't make much of a difference unless you're digging deep in the symbolism. In any case it makes total sense to be there. In a piece of NPC dialogue that I omitted because I received it at an inopportune time, a girl in the cafe mentions that the building in the park just appeared one day. In effect, it's a colossal piece of supernatural assistance that popped into existence just for the hero. That the building is marked with a symbol of blessing is certainly no coincidence.

***: Apparently, we're the only ones who picked up the Devil Summoning Program. There are clearly summoners in the game who import demons directly from the Abyss and negociate various terms with them, but as far as forming adventuring parties, we're a unique case.

***: There's something strange in that very few people seem to notice there's a large-scale demon invasion going on. Obviously, there are the demon's direct victims like the guy who got his throat ripped out by a Gaki, and there are the scientists and researchers involved in the Terminal Project, and then there's Kaneda, Tetsuo and Yuriko. And even then, you can argue that Kaneda didn't have a clue about the supernatural events until he got thrown in jail. This leads me to think that the hero's party is being singled out by demons, like we're fair game. At this point of the game at least, I guess this means that Gotou's forces are attempting infiltration and subversion, rather than direct conflict.

***: I honestly don't remember what's going on with Kei and possible other Kei, in case that's not obvious from how I've been handling things.

***: There are clues that the hero isn't just a kid with a computer, or at least that his reputation is growing. During demon negotiation, sometimes demons demand that you identify yourself, and if you do so they often recognize you and occasionally respect or fear you. This is even the case with Thugs and Yakuza in the beginning, though maybe they pretend to recognize you to justify their cowardice.

***: I've never really touched on what can possibly result from negotiation. There are several possible outcomes, some depending on family, including:
   -surprise round in your favor
   -surprise round in opponent's favor
   -opponent flees
   -opponent summons help
   -opponent gives you a gift, then leaves
   -opponent asks to become your minion

***: There are never multiple types of demons in a single encounter, though there occasionally are several encounters one after the other, sometimes with the same type, sometimes with a different type. And by "one after the other", I mean the next encounter begins even before you get EXP and loot from the first. You can kill a demon, immediately talk another group into fleeing, and then get EXP from the kill. Getting three encounters in a row this way is not a rare event.

Third: spells!

I'm getting a bit tired of mentioning the effects of magic, so I figured I'd explain spell nomenclature once and for all here. Spells differ slightly between games of the series, but they mostly follow a set of basic rules.

(This section is going to be dry, but I can't help it. Feel free to skip it!)

There five elements (more in other games), each of which is associated with a basic spell name.
-Agi (fire)
-Bufu (ice)
-Zan (wind or force)
-Zio (lightning)
-Dia (healing)

Additionally, you have the exorcism spells and death spells, repectively Hama and Mudo.

When these basic names come with a suffix, they are a stronger version of the spell. This gives us Agirao, Bufula, Zanma, Zionga, and Mudo-On. (Dia is a special case and comes with Diarama and Diarahan, which can be interpreted as midheal and fullheal. Hama is another exception: its enhanced form is Hanma.)

When the basic names come with a prefix (usually Ma-, Maha- or Me-), they are a group-targeting version of the spell. We get Ma-Hama, Ma-Mudo, Maha-Agi, Maha-Bufu, Me-Dia, and so on.

A spell with both the suffix and prefix is the stronger, multi-hitting version of the spell. Therefore: Maha-Bufula, Ma-Mudo-On, Me-Diarahan and so on.

The buffs and debuffs are little simpler. First you have four attributes:
-Taru (physical attack)
-Raku (physical defense)
-Suku (accuracy)
-Maka (magic defense)

And then you have a suffix, -nda for debuffs, and -kaja for the buffs. Therefore: Taru-nda, Raku-kaja, and so on.

I don't remember if they're in this game, but there are also De-kaja and De-kunda for removing said buffs and debuffs.

Well, I think that's about all the spells with simple rules. The rest is mostly miscellaneous utility magic and I think I can stand describing those as we go.

Fourth:

Err...

I thought I had something else to say. Hmm...

OH WELL!

Anyway, that should do it for now. If I ever talk about something in an unclear way, or if you'd just like some more information on a particular topic, don't be afraid to ask. Next time, we rejoin our heroes, just coming out of the Terminal Project laboratory in Sendayaga. 'Till then!

[François]

I have nothing to do in Sendagaya, but my only other option is to go back through the Terminal and wait for the Kichijoji station to reopen. No, we might as well look around here and see what we can find out. Who knows, maybe the trains are still running here.

*: Sendagaya is a green urban area, somewhat of a center for sports and the arts, boasting theaters, music halls, design workshops, the Tokyo Olympic Stadium and the Yakult Swallows' baseball stadium, among other such establishments. As is probably going to be the case for the entire game, there are geographically-accurate landmarks on the map!



Well, the area looks quiet enough, maybe the invasion hasn't...

Oh, wait. Never mind.



: Well, these don't look so scary. Time to turn on the ol' charm!
: Is... Is that wise?
: Hello ladies!
: I'm scared...
>Harpy is watching you warily.

Oh, right, the heavily-armed posse.

: Guys, would you please lower your weapons?
: I... Uh, I don't think...
: It's cool, I got this.
: Ahh! Come here, come quickly!
>Harpy is motioning you to come closer.

What's the worse that could happen? A booby-hug?

: What an idiot! Ha ha ha ha ha! Yaah!
>The Harpies suddenly attack!

Right, of course. A booby-trap.

*: The ol' charm fails hardcore. Some harpies use Hapilma (causes Happy) and Dolminer (causes Sleep) and neutralize half my team, the others have multiple attacks per turn. I try to run away twice, but it only gives them all the time they need to tear Kaneda to pieces and maim the rest of us. Did I mention the tutorial's over? I think I'm gonna have to show the death sequence sooner than I expected.

...huh! I hit the Talk command by accident, and they actually accept to hear me out again! I didn't know that was even possible!

: You... err... You've proven your might matches your beauty! We're quite aware of it now! Can we have a do over?
: Would you love me, even though I'm a demon?
: Yes! Yes! Of course! Anything you want! Just please kindly take your talons out of my friend's kidneys!
: Ha ha! I know you don't mean it, but I'm still happy to hear you say it! What do you want?

*: Well, as long as I'm being desperate, might as well go for the gusto. I ask her to come with me. She asks for a Magic Stone and some magnetite.

: Be gentle with me!
>Youchou Harpy became your minion.

Lv7 Youchou Harpy
The well-known bird-women of Greek myth, participating in Zeus' punishment of Phineas by stealing all his food before he could get to it. They were originally described as quite ugly, but it appears the passing of the ages has allowed room for interpretation. Here, they are very fast, with a special two-hit claw attack and basic disabling spells.

Youchou are intelligent, free-sprited bird demons, typically possessed of a curiosity that borders on greed. They are Neutral-Law.

Well that could have gone worse, but we all need some medical attention, especially Kaneda. I use a Stamina Incense and summon Pixie to patch the rest of us up as well as she can, but she's not gonna cut it forever.

*: Fortunately I don't meet other very difficult demons, only some Kobolds and Gakis. That said, I have Goblin and Knocker out just in case, and they're slowly draining my magnetite. I need Kaneda back.

Sendagaya proper isn't very large. The way south is blocked by the military, and just north is Yoyogi Park. The place is an important area in Nocturne, but it doesn't look like I can go there now. And just a bit further North...



Huh! I guess I should be more aware of my home city's geography.

*: Shinjuku's kind of a big deal. It houses the busiest train station in the world, Tokyo's City Hall equivalent, lots of corporate headquarters, a dense commercial district, and over 300,000 people of over 100 different nationalities.

So I have two objectives now: find Kei, and a place to get patched up. There are several buildings close-by, and I choose the big yellow one visible to the west.



Rats.

*: The place is still infested by demons though.



Lv12 Datenshi Gamygyn
A Great Marquis of Hell, appearing in the form of a horse and commanding thirty legions of demons. He presides over the liberal sciences and is knowledgeable about those who die in sin and at sea. Man the Lesser Key of Solomon has some random-ass demons.  Anyway. He's a tough customer, with Zan and a fairly damaging physical attack. He's also the first demon we meet with Makajama (silence status effect) and Mudo (instant death).

*: The bastard kills Knocker before we can take it down. I didn't want it to come to this, but trying to explore Shinjuku right now is borderline suicidal. My party now is myself, Goblin, Harpy and Tetsuo. If I don't find medical facilities soon, I'm going back to Kichijoji.

Anyway, I try a small building north of here. I find about a thousand magnetite in a box, and...



Lv7 Yama Imp
Imps are small demons, originally from Germanic folklore. They serve as retainers to gods, or even to some mortals who deal in the supernatural. They tend to enjoy attention and despise being alone. Descriptions of their appearance varies, but they are mostly remembered as the prototypical diminutive winged devil, though they are not necessarily evil. Here they are quick and fairly effective offensive spellcasters, able to use Suku-nda, Zanma and Dolminer.

Yama are creatures of the night, among those closest to humans, whether by natural affinity or because they need to feed upon them. They are Neutral-Chaos.


: Well, directions to the hospital would be nice.

The man clearly wants nothing to do with us.

: Please don't mind the blood trail as I drag my unconscious companions away then. Asshole.

*: This is going nowhere fast. I head back to the Dojo of Healing.



*: Obviously I try to schmooze, but no dice.

Lv12 Yousei Dryad
Dryads are a specific type of nymph, that is to say, a nymph bound to an oak tree. In Greek mythology, nymphs are mortal divine beings, more nature spirits than goddesses, appearing as girls or young women and attached to a particular location. Here they are very good spellcasters, knowing Me-Dia, Marin-Karin (charm status spell) and a Happy Song special ability. I definitely want one, and not just because they're shapely.

*: I finally make it back and restore everyone. And while I'm here, I might as well drop by the Mansion and see what new friends I can make.

Goblin/Pixie + Harpy = Andras. Pass.

Goblin + Pixie =



Lv11 Seirei Aeros
An air elemental, basically. Average stats, inclined towards magic use. It knows Maha-Zan, Bufula and Hapilma. Not super remarkable, but a fair upgrade at the moment.

Seirei are Light-Neutral elemental spirits. That's about it.

What's really special about Seirei, however, is their use in fusion. First, fusing two demons of the same family always results in a Seirei. Second, depending on the family, fusing a demon with a Seirei will either not work at all, or result in a rank up or rank down fusion.

A "rank up" fusion is a transformation into a demon into the next strongest demon of the same family. If I fuse Lv2 Yousei Pixie with the appropriate Seirei, she'll become a Lv6 Yousei Goblin. This doesn't look spectacular now, but, for example, Aeros happens to rank up Youchou. If I fuse it with Harpy, I get the next strongest in her family, which is...



Lv18 Youchou Kokakuchou
In Japanese folklore, this is the ghost form of a woman who died in childbirth and was therefore denied the joy of raising her baby. They're quick physical attackers with, appropriately enough, the ability to put opponents to sleep with Lullaby.

I can't get her right now because my level is way too low, but it shows you what Seirei fusion can do.

That's all the fusing I'm gonna do right now, but here are the other new options I'm passing on.

Harpy + Knocker =



Lv8 Kyouchou Fukei
I can't find out what it is. In any case, it's clearly nothing to write home about; only Panic Voice looks any good.

Kyouchou are evil birds of ill omen, bringing news of misery and death, and occasionally indulging in a bit of douchebaggery themselves. They are Dark-Law.

And Fukei + Weredog =



Lv13 Gedou Slime
Your quintessential Gedou: a pathetic, formless creature. It's more a pile of half-sentient ectoplasmic goo than a legitimate mythological being. It has high Stamina, which makes it very durable in combination with its HP-draining Death Touch skill, but I can't see much use for it other than as a crude living shield because all its other stats are so bad. I don't remember if this game has fusion mishaps, but in games that do, they tend to result in Slime. Needless to say, I don't care for it... though they are gonna be a bitch to fight.

*: Anyway. I'm in better shape now. Time to go back to Shinjuku.



Lv10 Shiki Zombie Soldier
Zombies with body armor and machine guns.

*: Yeah, I didn't stick around to fight these guys. They got two rounds and almost killed us.

It turns out one of the buildings on the map is actually a giant screen.


: Civilization as we know it has rotted to its very core! This is because its very roots are founded in the exploitation and abuse of this great planet, Gaia! Meanwhile, the hatred and mistreatment brewing between fellow humans eats away at our own existence like a cancer!
: Holy crap, it's like Greenpeace and Amnesty International were founded by Hitler!
: In such a world so filled with prejudice, poverty, and war, we need help, and so we have awakened the ancient gods known as "demons" to aid us! We have done so to help prepare ourselves for the true danger, a heinous scheme being plotted behind the scenes: the Japan Obliteration Project!
: Oh come on! If this was real they'd have picked a less obvious name!
: There are those who plan to destroy our country in order to lay the foundations for a new, totalitarian regime that will enslave humanity under the iron fist of a cruel dictator! In order to stop this mad conspiracy, the gods of old have lent their power to us! When it has been broken, they shall help us establish a new Utopia, where humanity and demonkind shall live side by side in happiness!
>The address continues...

I look around.

The street is deserted. We've just barely escaped a patrol of undead soldiers. Earlier today, a friend of mine was mauled half to death by harpies.

Yesterday, I foiled a Great Marquis of Hell's brainwashing plot and a demon ate my mother.

Fuck that guy.

*: Sorry about the plot-light update guys, but I didn't expect this area to kick my ass as hard as it did and I didn't have the heart to go in-depth about all the ways the new critters ravaged my hindquarters. You know, in most RPGs, when you come out of a dungeon, you can look forward to cruising back through the overworld to whatever town you came from (or sometimes, the next town) and then paying a small fee to be restored back to new.

Not here.

I definitely know where I'm going next time though. Somehow I managed to hit every place I wasn't supposed to go to yet, and, you know, process of elimination.

[François]

*: When we last left off, we were in front of a large exterior screen, represented here by a yellow building. I can technically access Shinjuku Station, but it's under lockdown. The two buildings I haven't explored yet are both aboveground entrances to a large underground mall. This is where I'm going to investigate next.

Nothing is stopping me from going east to Ichigaya ward, but last I heard of Kei, she was in Shinjuku, and that's where I'll attempt to pick up her trail.

No sooner do we go down the stairs to the mall are we accosted by a religious fanatic. Some things never change, I guess.



I'm a typical native Japanese, so I'm technically a Shinto dude. That said, it just so happens I've recently crossed swords with several assholes from Judeo-Christian occultism, so not believing in God would probably count as pathological denial.

: Yeah, I suppose I have to.
: That's a good thing. You are an ally of our Mesia Church then.
: Whoa there, sister! I didn't sign up for no church!
: If everyone prays to God, he will surely send us a savior to rescue humanity.
: Well, that would be nice of Him.
: In these dark times, God is humanity's only hope... There is none other to whom we can turn to!

I want to say I've been doing an okay job so far on my own, but I should think about saving my neighbor before bragging about saving humanity.


Little lost sheep, pray to God... What business do you have at the Mesia Church?

*: The Mesia Church is the Law-aligned equivalent to the Healer's dojo. I'm Neutral right now, so they don't mind healing me. Had I remembered they were so close, I wouldn't have returned to Kichijoji...


: I'm not sure why God would need money, but at least you're up-front about it... in a way.

*: The Church offers several items, including one-use Hama (exorcism) spell items, Indulgences (makes non-boss enemies leave) and Rosaries (resurrects you from death once if you're Lawful), but it's all fairly expensive.

: Martial law should be lifted pretty soon.
: What, you think things are just gonna fix themselves?
: Why don't they just let the coup d'etat continue? Opposing the coup d'etat forces is not only stupid, but dangerous! It only makes things worse for the general populace.
: Uh, okay, yeah. By the way, could you please ask me the time?
: What? Why?
: Just do it, please.
: Okay... What time is it?
: It's COWARD O'CLOCK! HAHAHAHA!
:
: Heheh.
:

: The Resistance... fighting against the coup d'etat forces AND the American army... That's downright incredible!
: The... The American army?
: Whoever the leader of the resistance is, he or she sure must be smart -- and gutsy!
: So we're not alone then? I gotta meet these people!

*: If the Americans are here, suddenly Gotou's mention of foreign forces makes a lot more sense.



Heeeey, maybe Kei's got the dancin' fever and has been here all along!




: Because if you don't he'll have you eaten by demons, apparently.
: What happened to our civil liberties?
: Eaten by demons. Duh.

People better get used to stuff being eaten by demons around here.



*: He offers Vodka n Tonic, Fizzy Gin, and a mysterious "On the Rocks", which are all inefficient instant healing.

: Gotou, the American army, whatever... I just wish they'd stop trying to throw their weight around Shinjuku, doing whatever they damn well please!


: And exploding their own troops? That'd be a public relations nightmare, and I don't think that's Clinton's style.
: Ah, we're all doomed! Someone help me!


: ...has been pulling out all the stop searching for Kei, the leader of the Resistance.
: !!!
: But since nobody knows what she looks like, they're just using the shotgun approach and arresting every single person named Kei that they can find.

Mystery solved. They are many Keis after all. And if one of them's the leader of the resistance, then I need to find her too. She just might be... that Kei.

: There's a bar nearby that all the American soldiers go to when they're off-duty. I wonder what they're all doing here anyway?

*: I think what's going on is that word of the invasion starting in Japan got out, and the US doesn't trust the JSDF to handle it.

: At the moment, things haven't gotten messy yet...
: That's debatable.
: ...but if things get rough for the Americans, who knows to what lengths they'll go to in order to win? They might try to invade or conquer the country, or even drop nuclear bombs on it!
: Pfft. Nuking Tokyo? That's crazy. You're crazy.

*: I find some stairs going down in the club.





*: Well, I guess it makes sense, bizarre disco sewer and all. Fortunately, I remember they're weak to fire; Tetsuo's Agi does like 75 damage.



Lv7 Yuuki Oshichi
Yaoya Oshichi was apparently an actual person from the Edo period. One day, she took refuge in a temple during a massive fire, where she fell in love with an attendant. The following year, she started a fire of her own to have a reason to return to the temple and see her beau. Long story short, she got caught, they burned her at the stake, and people have been writing plays and novels about her story ever since. This here is presumably her ghost. It's fairly quick, immune to bullets, and it knows (of course) Agirao.



Lv8 Yousei Jack Frost
This adorable (?) little guy is Atlus' mascot. Well, technically he's more or less Old Man Winter, but screw accuracy, look at his widdle hat! So kawaii! ...right. Well. He's not much of a fighter, but he's got all the ice spells except the most powerful one, and a decent Magic stat to go with them. He's worth taking along, but you have to be careful because there are Jack o' Lanterns in the area and he's quite vulnerable to fire.


I go awol when I heard that. That is too far!

Would the Americans really bomb Tokyo in this day and age? Hearing it from an actual US soldier... I don't know. I guess I need to fix eveything before it comes to that.

*: I guess the usage of italics indicates that the character speaks broken Japanese. That, or he speaks English and we can't understand him very well.

Anyway, there's nothing else in this basement. There are several empty rooms, but I find only demons and this guy. I manage to recruit an Imp, then I go back to the mall. On the way up, a Goblin insists on joining me. I'm beginning to be glad Steven forced an upgrade on me!

Thank you very much! Please come back again!

*: I find some upstairs which presumably lead to an above-ground office building.



Lv9 Yousei Jack o' Lantern
The details vary, but by and large, it is said that Jack was a clever chap who somehow tricked the Devil, and either as reward or punishment (depending on the story) is never to be allowed into Hell. He was also lazy and greedy, and was therefore denied entry into Heaven. So he wanders the Earth, forever undying, holding his own soul in a lantern, or possibly a carved pumpkin, or a turnip, or maybe even his own hollowed-out head depending on whether the Devil took it to hell or not. Let's just say there's lots of variation to the tale. Game-wise he's Jack Frost, but with fire! That said there are lots and lots of fire-vulnerable critters in the Shinjuku underground, so he might be a just a mite more useful.



: Hey baby! I was wondering if you came from the Abyss, because that booty is out of this world!
: Ugh...
>The demon is ignoring you. What will you do?
   -Flatter it
   -Identify yourself
: Who's got two thumbs and has killed some of Hell's Greatest Marquises...sses? This guy!
: Oh, so you're Francois. Now I'm interested...
: O-of course you are! So, what will it take for you to hang out with the hero of the day?
: I want your everything! Here I come!
>The demons suddenly assaulted you!

Lv7 Shiki Bodyconian
Bodyconians are artificial humans inhabited by the souls of the dead. They're technically undead, even though physically they never really died, and they can behave like living humans (at least superficially) and hold a conversation.
: See? See? Anyone could have made that mistake!
Yyyyyeah. Anyway. They're fairly durable fighters and can paralyze you, but they are weak to fire and Tetsuo can make quick work of them.

*: I befriend a Dryad, at the cost of an Aquamarine and a few thousand magnetite. Kaneda and Pixie have done well, but I finally have have a real healer. Another Dryad I meet gives me an Athame Knife (22/14), which can only be equipped by women.


: You can get out of my way, for a start.

He does! Huh.


: If that weren't bad enough, now we've got demons popping up all over the place! They're all doing whatever they damn well please on MY turf! They're all deviants without the least bit of respect or honor! What's going to happen to Tokyo if we just let them continue on like this...?

The guy's just ranting. I'm not sure he even knows I'm not one of his goons. In any case, his heart's in the right place... if perhaps for the wrong reasons. There doesn't seem to be anything we can do for each other right now, though, so I go back to the mall.

*: Stay tuned for the rest of this colossal update in a few moments!