Welcome to the Labyrinth, Defenestration. I enter the maze and go EAST.You find yourself in a golf course. There's a road that meanders to the southern exit. Some golfers are lounging in golf carts nearby, and there are plenty of clubs, balls and tees everywhere on the greens.
Exits: S and W.
Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade and a lottery ticket.I play some golf until I sink a ball in every hole without cheating.It takes you 10,000 years, but you golf this course until you manage to sink a single ball into each of the 18 holes in 18 consecutive shots.
Exits: S and W.
Items: A 10-foot pole, a giant golf trophy, a grenade and a lottery ticket.I go west and then south. I pick up a spellbook, read it, and go into the purple hut.You go into the pink (purple) hut. The shopkeeper seems friendly enough. "Would you like an umbrella? I have lucky dice! Then of course there are my famous blue flowers... very popular!"
Exits: N.
Items: A 10-foot pole, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a lottery ticket and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.I ask him how much for the umbrella and I go talk to the remaining two shopkeepers, and see if they also have switches. I also scratch my lottery ticket.
Then I go north and east and inspect each golf hole."Go and get me a meteorite." he replies. "I'll give you one umbrella for a meteorite. The lucky dice cost an unscratched lottery ticket." You scratch your lottery ticket and nod. It's a winner. $2000. The back of the ticket says to mail it from any mailbox and you'll get your money by courier.
You walk into the other two shops, first blue (book) and then yellow (shield).
"Welcome. I sell these lovelies for just one umbrella and a potato bug! They each come with 20 rounds. Each round is capable of killing an elephant with one shot! So buy one, won't you!?" There's a switch on the back wall.
The last shopkeeper, in the yellow (shield) shop (house) is quite handsome. "Please don't hurt me. Take whatever you want. These eyeballs are supposed to cost one chomp-chomp chain, but you can just have one! Don't pull the switch on the back wall!" There is a switch on the back wall.
You go north then east and inspect the holes and find that one is a gopher's hole; anything that goes down hole 18 never comes back. The soil is soft and easily dug up by hand, but there's no telling how far the hole goes, and if it didn't go pretty far or get larger the hole would have become backed up during practice for your perfect game. There's definitely something suspicious here.
Exits: S and W.
Items: A 10-foot pole, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a lottery ticket worth $2000 and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.I go WEST and WEST.You walk through the walnut grove room and emerge into a room that appears to be an equally large cube-room, only full of stars. The reddish dirt road beneath you is a 4-way intersection floating over open outer space, to all appearances. You can see daylight through all four exits. All four of them look otherwise identical. A comet is streaking around the room, and a model of the Solar System is spinning in the far south-eastern corner of the room.Exits: N, S, E and W.
Items: A 10-foot pole, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a lottery ticket worth $2000 and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.I fly around the room and inspect the solar system and carefully inspect the cometThe model solar system is not to scale, and the comet is actually a cheesy (albeit impressively realistic) meteor, made of sponge and with holographic, heatless flames that trail off realistically. It seems to have extra propulsion when moved in any direction, and you're pretty sure just from playing with it that you could throw it pretty far if you wanted to.
Exits: N, E, S and W.
Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a lottery ticket worth $2000 and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.I take the meteor and go NORTH.You find yourself in a green room. A pole runs down the center. On the wall, are written the words, "BAD TREASURE" in crude scrawl. Below the sign is an open treasure chest revealing a hole down. There are chomp-chomp parts scattered everywhere and a chomp-chomp's chain on the floor.
Exits: S and D.
Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a lottery ticket worth $2000 and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.I toss the largest, most obvious piece of the chomp chomp down the treasure chest. If anyone sees it, they will be forced to think "Hey where did that piece of chomp chomp come from?" I take the chain and go SOUTH and WESTYou walk into the western room past the star room. There's a vase with red flowers and a clock on the wall. The clock has no numbers, but it shows three o'clock.
Exits: E.
Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a lottery ticket worth $2000, a chomp-chomp chain and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.
I attempt to take the clock off the wall and look into the vase.There is a gun inside the vase. It's a loaded .44 magnum Desert Eagle. As soon as you take it, another one spawns. You grab that one too. Why not? As soon as you take it, another one spawns.
The clock has four hangers around the edge. It looks like you can hang it any way you want. You try it in a few different positions.
3:00: The room is as it always seemed before.
6:15: The walls shrink inward and a smell like warm plastic grows thick in the air. The flowers in the vase wilt further than they had been. Your worst worries surface and are exposed as frivolous and you gain a sense of calm.
9:30: The floor becomes soft like a waterbed and the room changes color to magenta. The flowers in the vase burst into flames. You get the sense that you're very heavy now even though you can move normally.
12:45: The walls grow outward and a thrum just barely above the lower threshold of your hearing starts. The flowers in the vase bloom brilliantly. It seems like you're very tiny and everything is far away.
There is a new door in the wall when the clock is hung like this, so you leave it at 12:45. The room's psychedelic effect is going to make navigation weird, it seems. You're getting confusing compass directions from your brain.
Exits: E and W?
Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a lottery ticket worth $2000, a chomp-chomp chain, deagles (20 rounds each) and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.Westward ho!"Welcome! Won't you play a game, sonny? You look a little dizzy. I'm over here! Hey! For an unscratched lottery ticket you can have three shots! Score a bullseye, win a mystery prize!"
Exits: S?
Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a lottery ticket worth $2000, a chomp-chomp chain, deagles (20 rounds each), a rapelling harness and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly."How about this winning Lottery ticket? Can I get change?""Oh, oh yes! Yes I can give you, er, change! Uh... " He rattles around behind the counter. "How about fifteen gold coins? And you get a prize without playing!"
He is holding a bag out to you. You take it and give him your lottery ticket. Inside the bag are 15 1oz. gold coins and a potato bug.
Exits: N?
Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a chomp-chomp chain, deagles (20 rounds each), a potato bug, 15 1oz. gold coins and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.