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[Defenestration]

Also, to everyone else: Let's start flipping all the switches, respawning and flipping the others. Everyone has the magic books already, so we can leave that house standing. I would already if I knew the way out of this dumb space room.

[Beat Bandit]

Give each squirrel a nut and hold out on the rest to reward them for helpful information or items they can provide.

[NexAdruin]

Also, to everyone else: Let's start flipping all the switches, respawning and flipping the others. Everyone has the magic books already, so we can leave that house standing. I would already if I knew the way out of this dumb space room.

We each only get 5 lives, and I've already died once without doing that. There are better ways to kill the shopkeepers than with another shopkeeper's gun at your back. Find a way to get a gun and carry it back, then shoot each one. The trick there would be to find the way back from SpaceWorld to SpawnAndFriendsWorld. Alternatively, buy one of those 20-shot instakillers.

[Guild]

West and then North

You're pretty sure this way is west.



You enter the purple room. Maybe it's pinkish purple. There's a mirror high up on the wall and a big green Super Mario World block that lets a runner run up the wall.

Exits: S?

Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a chomp-chomp chain, deagles (20 rounds each), a potato bug, 15 1oz. gold coins and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

[Defenestration]

I inspect the mirror. If there's nothing to suggest that it isn't a mundane mirror, I smash it with the golf trophy

[Guild]

Give each squirrel a nut and hold out on the rest to reward them for helpful information or items they can provide.

The first squirrel brings you a golfball. The second, a 1oz. gold coin. The third brings you an unscratched lottery ticket. The fourth brings you a meteorite. The fifth brings you another 10-foot pole. The sixth tells you to go E, N, D from here.

Exits: E and N.

Items: 2 10-foot poles, a grenade, a long beard, six tame squirrels, a metal bucket, 31 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 2 lottery tickets, a golfball, a 1oz. gold coin, a meteorite and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[Guild]

I inspect the mirror. If there's nothing to suggest that it isn't a mundane mirror, I smash it with the golf trophy

You smash the mirror, revealing an exit... east? It's dark in there.

Exits: N and S?

Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a chomp-chomp chain, deagles (20 rounds each), a potato bug, 15 1oz. gold coins and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

[Defenestration]

I stick the ten foot pole in and tap each wall, the floor, and the cieling. If nothing unusual happens, I start flying through it, keeping off the floor and with my Deagles at the ready to shoot anything that moves!

[Guild]

I stick the ten foot pole in and tap each wall, the floor, and the cieling. If nothing unusual happens, I start flying through it, keeping off the floor and with my Deagles at the ready to shoot anything that moves!

You're pretty sure that the space room is that way, so you go this way.



You've returned to the space room, somehow.

Exits: N, S, E and W?

Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a chomp-chomp chain, deagles (20 rounds each), a potato bug, 15 1oz. gold coins and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

[Defenestration]

The fuck. Uh, I'll go south.

[Guild]

The fuck. Uh, I'll go south.

You're pretty sure south is THAT way.



And you're once again wrong.

Ever since touching that clock directions have been hard for you. You're in the room with the recently un-exploded chomp-chomp and a chest with a hole down.

Exits: D and E?

Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a chomp-chomp chain, deagles (20 rounds each), a potato bug, 15 1oz. gold coins and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

[Beat Bandit]

Reward as such:

The first squirrel with one nut.
The second one nut.
The third two nuts.
The fourth one nut.
The fifth one nut.
The sixth one nut, with the promise of more if the information is good.

Exchange tickets and stock up on more nuts, put a three nut bounty on unscratched lottery tickets, and two nuts on duct tape to combine the poles.

Lastly, head out following squirrel six's directions.

[Guild]

Reward as such:

The first squirrel with one nut.
The second one nut.
The third two nuts.
The fourth one nut.
The fifth one nut.
The sixth one nut, with the promise of more if the information is good.

Exchange tickets and stock up on more nuts, put a three nut bounty on unscratched lottery tickets, and two nuts on duct tape to combine the poles.

Lastly, head out following squirrel six's directions.

You are a tough but providing master, and your loyal squirrel friends grow suddenly very fond of your rule. They have appointed you the Squirrel King and six more squirrels have joined your efforts. Whispers of a takeover of the grove spearheaded by the newly appointed King are spreading like fire. You get some duct tape, two more coins and manage the longer pole with no problems.

You follow your scout, eventually reaching the chomp-chomp, whom you explode, and then flying down the long vertical shaft into an ultramarine room.



There is a portal gun here. You take one because it's a portal gun. Another one spawns. You take that one, too. Another one spawns.

Exits: U.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 55 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[Beat Bandit]

Ten nuts to squirrel six.
Two to the squirrel that provided the duct tape.
One each for the coins.

Declare that all further scavenging is to be put on hold and prepare to return to the walnut grove to bring the squirrels into a new age of prosperity.

[Guild]

Ten nuts to squirrel six.
Two to the squirrel that provided the duct tape.
One each for the coins.

Declare that all further scavenging is to be put on hold and prepare to return to the walnut grove to bring the squirrels into a new age of prosperity.

Your decree is met with cheers of adulation and open weeping, even from the usually stoic elderly squirrels.

Exits: U.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[Defenestration]

I shoot the chomp chomp with a deagle. if there is no result, I grenade it. I fly down the chest and collect my portal gun. I fly up to the green room, return to the space room, and inspect it much more closely. I run my pole over the walls and try to find unusual bits about this room.

[Guild]

I shoot the chomp chomp with a deagle. if there is no result, I grenade it. I fly down the chest and collect my portal gun. I fly up to the green room, return to the space room, and inspect it much more closely. I run my pole over the walls and try to find unusual bits about this room.

The three bullets bounce off, of course, but when you swoop down and drop a live grenade into its waiting mouth, things are different. The beast leaves behind a chomp-chomp chain. You open the chest, squint one eye, and carefully make extra sure to go OUT THE EXIT instead of DOWN THE CHEST HOLE.

Wait. That's not...



...you're feeling weirder. If something doesn't change soon, you feel like you're going to pass out from the dizzyness.

Since you're here anyway, you fly around inspecting the room. It seems that all the stars are mere projections from a holographic stone in the ceiling in the center of the room. The room is really quite huge! It's hard to judge without having flown around checking the distances, but according to your 10-foot pole, this room is at least 1000' wide, tall and long.

Exits: N, S, E and W?

Items: A 10-foot pole, a meteorite, a giant golf trophy, a grenade, a chomp-chomp chain, deagles (17 and 20 rounds left respectively), a potato bug, 15 1oz. gold coins and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

[Defenestration]

I look under the dirt path (unless I misunderstood and the path lies upon the true ground of the room), and then take a nap in the center of the path. Maybe my head will clear when I wake up

[the asshole you hate]

I look under the dirt path (unless I misunderstood and the path lies upon the true ground of the room), and then take a nap in the center of the path. Maybe my head will clear when I wake up

You look and yes, indeed, the dirt path is actually floating about four feet above the true ground of the room. Under the X is an on/off switch.

You fall asleep and the magical ailment making you lost rapidly finishes eating away your brain.

You are dead.

whrrrrrrr... click.

I'm sorely tempted to count that death twice.

[Defenestration]

I enter the Labyrinth, go back to the space room, and retrieve my loot. I fly under the dirt path and flip the switch.