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[Guild]

heal the building (but not the shop owner if possible) and pull the switch on the wall

You heal just the shop. The shop-keeper's corpse is presumably buried beneath it. Pulling the switch causes an amazing BOOM!



The pink (purple) house (shop) exploded!

Exits: E.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (8 shots) and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

[NexAdruin]

Heal the building (but not the shopkeeper) take his shotgun and kill the remaining shopkeepers. Loot the buildings for all items

[the asshole you hate]

Heal the building (but not the shopkeeper) take his shotgun and kill the remaining shopkeepers. Loot the buildings for all items

A flag appears in the center of the bazaar area. It depicts a wad of lottery tickets being stomped by a black boot on a field of red. A song is playing over a speaker box on the flagpole.

The War Pigs are dead! Raise the flag of communism!
Everyone rejoice! Gone are days of capitalism!
All of us for one! One of us for every one! (repeat x2)

The lucky dice glow warmly, causing tingles in your hand. The handsome shopkeep who purveyed eyeballs until the recent social reform also had a magic wand of transmogrification.

Exits: E and N.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

[Beat Bandit]

investigate the double-ass on the ceiling.

[the asshole you hate]

investigate the double-ass on the ceiling.

It appears that the otherwise apparently flawless granite of the room's elemental component has, while forming, had a large chunk of double-ass-shaped pink granite form within it. When the solid wall of the labyrinth was carved out of a single hunk, this odd mark was revealed by the cross-section. It might mean nothing at all, but it appears natural...

...to someone who wasn't a bearded wizard! You can see that the mark actually denotes this room as the FOURTH in a series of four magical trap rooms controlled by a switch somewhere else.

Exits: E.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[Beat Bandit]

No reason not to look to experience. See if the squirrels know anything about the three room.

If there are, in fact, two exits to the current room, send equal sized parties of able squirrels through each. At each room they encounter to further break down into smaller parties to go through every available opening. Each squirrel should map their path and all rendezvous back here either when their party is outnumbered by the current exits to their room or in two hours.

Any dangerous rooms should be entered by a single squirrel before the others following them enter, and any squirrels that find themselves lost should wait in the room they discover they're lost in.

[the asshole you hate]

No reason not to look to experience. See if the squirrels know anything about the three room.

If there are, in fact, two exits to the current room, send equal sized parties of able squirrels through each. At each room they encounter to further break down into smaller parties to go through every available opening. Each squirrel should map their path and all rendezvous back here either when their party is outnumbered by the current exits to their room or in two hours.

Any dangerous rooms should be entered by a single squirrel before the others following them enter, and any squirrels that find themselves lost should wait in the room they discover they're lost in.

They don't know much other than that it's hard or impossible to get back to the grove from here according to squirrel legends. They can't find any exits, either. The only exit is back out to the space room. They do find a gun in the vase.

It's a loaded .44 magnum Desert Eagle. As soon as you take it, another one spawns. You grab that one too. Why not? As soon as you take it, another one spawns.

Exits: E.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns, deagles (20 rounds each) and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[NexAdruin]

East. Shoot the walnut guy. Shit's getting real.

[Defenestration]

The switch is under the dirt path of the space room, Ryg
Holding my action until I see how this resolves.

[Defenestration]

Actually, I go into the spellbook store and read another book, since apparently I forgot all my spells on death.

[Beat Bandit]

I hear the voices of the dead and retreat to the space room, where I search the path for a switch to flip.

[the asshole you hate]

East. Shoot the walnut guy. Shit's getting real.

The Fat Walnuts purveyor is shocked for the moment it takes you to unload three in his dome. As his walnut-brains scatter across the shack, squirrels swarm over him, devouring them like cannibals in a murderous war trance.

Exits: N, S, E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

Actually, I go into the spellbook store and read another book, since apparently I forgot all my spells on death.

The books are easy to read and the spells even easier to learn. So easy, you wonder how you didn't realize their function and use years ago!

Exits: E.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade, an umbrella, a nerf gun (8 shots) and a lottery ticket and four known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

I hear the voices of the dead and retreat to the space room, where I search the path for a switch to flip.

You flip the switch hidden under the crossroads and the room becomes mundane, each of three of the doors magically unresolving back into two portals.



Exits: N-E, N-W, E-N, E-S, S-E, S-W and W.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns, deagles (20 rounds each) and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[Defenestration]

He seemed like such a nice guy though. :(

I go East, and then East-north.

[NexAdruin]

Go north, flip whatever switch however many times until the projector is off, go west into the room with the flower pot and grab a couple of guns, then go east

[the asshole you hate]

He seemed like such a nice guy though. :(

I go East, and then East-north.

You are standing in a grove of walnut trees. There are five trees per row and five per column. To the north, south, east and west are exits. The artificial sun above is stagnant like the air, but at least it's a little green here.



Exits: N, S, E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade, an umbrella, a nerf gun (8 shots) and a lottery ticket and four known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

Go north, flip whatever switch however many times until the projector is off, go west into the room with the flower pot and grab a couple of guns, then go east

You're in the de-hologrammed space room. It's... way less cool in here now.



Exits: N-E, N-W, E-N, E-S, S-W, S-E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), deagles (20 rounds each), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

[Defenestration]

South.

[the asshole you hate]

South.

A flag lies in the center of the bazaar area. It depicts a wad of lottery tickets being stomped by a black boot on a field of red. A song is playing over a speaker box on the flagpole.

The War Pigs are gone! Raise the flag of socialism!
Everyone rejoice! Gone are days of monetism!
All of us for one! One of us for every one! (repeat x2)

There are four shops here, but no shopkeepers to tend them. It looks like the following items are free today:

Umbrellas.
Elemental eyeballs (Earth, Fire, Wind and Water).
Nerf guns.
Lucky dice.
Spellbooks.

Exits: E and N.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade, an umbrella, a nerf gun (8 shots) and a lottery ticket and four known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

[Defenestration]

Get 1 of each free deal that I don't already have and head east, and then SE

[the asshole you hate]

Get 1 of each free deal that I don't already have and head east, and then SE

You go into the purple room. There's a hole high on the wall and a green block from Super Mario World that lets a runner run up a wall.

Exits: S and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade, an umbrella, a nerf gun (8 shots), an umbrella, 4 elemental eyeballs (Earth, Fire, Wind and Water), a pair of lucky dice (active), a lottery ticket and four known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

[NexAdruin]

N-E