Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Defenestration]

I fly up to the hole and fly through it, stopping at the first sign of something odd.

[the asshole you hate]

N-E

You're standing on the Defenestration Historical Golf Course. Someone yells, "Fore!" and a golfball lands nearby, only to be snatched up by a hungry-looking squirrel, who chatters at you in Squirrel about the King and Revolution and seems generally upset about something vague before disappearing into a tree's root structure.

Exits: S and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), deagles (20 rounds each), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

I fly up to the hole and fly through it, stopping at the first sign of something odd.

You find a door with a simple latch at the end of the tunnel. It swings open easily and you step out.

The door was a false bit of wall behind two bushes on the Defenestration Historical Golf Course, named after your amazing displays over the millenia. Someone yells, "Fore!" and a golfball lands nearby, only to be snatched up by a hungry-looking squirrel, who chatters at you in Squirrel about the King and Revolution and seems very upset about something fairly vague before disappearing into a tree's root structure.

Exits: S, E and W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a grenade, an umbrella, a nerf gun (8 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (Earth, Fire, Wind and Water), a pair of lucky dice (active), a lottery ticket and four known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing and Fly.

[the asshole you hate]

whrrrrrrr... click.

As of now, the labyrinth is solvable in one post, so I'm imposing a five day time limit.

Not that you'll be escaping, but I have to make it LOOK fair.

[Defenestration]

East back through the hole, West into the space room, and then South, East, and then I arrange the eyeballs in a random pattern into the holes.

[the asshole you hate]

East back through the hole, West into the space room, and then South, East, and then I arrange the eyeballs in a random pattern into the holes.

A giant green head appears as the final eyeball is inserted randomly (F-N, Wi-E, E-S, Wa-W). "I AM THE GENIE OF THE-... oh come ON, you knew that wouldn't work, right? It's not personal, y'know. We're just doing our jobs."



You are dead.

whrrrrrrr... click.

That was a bit rash. Didn't you read the back?

[Defenestration]

So that is how you get a reaction then. Hmmmm.

I don't suppose I could heal myself while being burned perpetually and have a conversation with him can I? :V

Earth, Fire, Wind and Water and Light, Sight, White, and Blood. Anyone else have an idea?

Light could equate to Fire, and water and blood are both liquid. Sight could correspond to the eyeballs period, and the fact that they are elemental is a red herring and there are other things than eyeballs that are supposed to be inserted. Beyond that, I got nothing. Unless someone else has a plan, I vote for Ryg to get his squirrel vassals to come up with more information.

[NexAdruin]

East through the hole that I just watched him open up, west into the space room, South East into the room with the puzzle. Examine the puzzle.

[the asshole you hate]

East through the hole that I just watched him open up, west into the space room, South East into the room with the puzzle. Examine the puzzle.

You follow the twisty tunnel on hands and knees until you emerge in a red room. There is a statue with four square holes. On the back of the statue are some letters:

N1 Light
E2 Sight
S3 White
W4 Blood

Exits: W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), deagles (20 rounds each), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

[Beat Bandit]

Lead my men N-E

[the asshole you hate]

Lead my men N-E

You're on the golf course. A recently opened doorway in the east wall leads to a magical trap room. Someone yells 'Fore!' and a golf ball lands nearby you.

Exits: E, W and S.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns, deagles (20 rounds each) and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[Beat Bandit]

unexpected coughing spasms make me kick the ball in the hole. Wait for whoever's playing to catch up or see if I can seek them out.

[NexAdruin]

There's a secret passage that takes you to the room I'm in.

heal defenstration and let him try another random eyeball combination (but not until after I've left the room)

[Defenestration]

If that actually works, I arrange them as Fire as the top (north) one, Water as the bottom, Earth as the right, and wind as the left

[Guild]

unexpected coughing spasms make me kick the ball in the hole. Wait for whoever's playing to catch up or see if I can seek them out.

It's like these people aren't real. They never approach you, you never see them actually interact with anything but the golf balls, and as often as you approach and wave your arms or strangle them, they don't react. They all have golf clubs of various kinds, but there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to any of it. It's like a giant simulation of a golf course, except when you win they throw a giant party.

Exits: E, S and W.

Items: An 18-foot pole, a long beard, a twig crown, twelve loyal squirrel vassals, a metal bucket, 41 Fat Walnuts walnuts, 1 lottery ticket, a golfball, 3 1oz. gold coins, a meteorite, a roll of duct tape, two portal guns, deagles (20 rounds each) and five known spells: Heal, Speak to Animals, X-Ray Hearing, Read and Write Languages and Fly.

[Guild]

There's a secret passage that takes you to the room I'm in.

heal defenstration and let him try another random eyeball combination (but not until after I've left the room)

It works and you retreat to the space room...

If that actually works, I arrange them as Fire as the top (north) one, Water as the bottom, Earth as the right, and wind as the left

You die again but didn't lose a life this time. This time the genie just laughs and wishes you luck.

whrrrrrrr... click.

Hey! That's cheating!

...Grr! My turn!

Something very large moves with the sound of granite grinding against granite.

[NexAdruin]

back the way I just came

[Guild]

back the way I just came

whrrrrrrr... click

Sorry, which direction? I can't very well play the game FOR you, you know. Don't you see what the other clones are doing? "N, S, E, I stick my finger in a light socket because I'm a stupid meatbag." That kind of thing. What's wrong with you?

[NexAdruin]

south east into the puzzle room

[Guild]

south east into the puzzle room

You follow the twisty tunnel on hands and knees until you emerge in a red room. Defenestration's corpse is here. There is a statue with four square holes. On the back of the statue are some letters:

N1 Light
E2 Sight
S3 White
W4 Blood

Exits: W.

Items: A 10-foot pole, a lottery ticket, a nerf gun (20 shots), 4 elemental eyeballs (fire, wind, water, earth), a pair of lucky dice (active), an over-under shotgun (3 shots left), a wand of transmogrification (infinite charges), deagles (20 rounds each), an umbrella, and four known spells; Heal, Speak to Animals, X-ray Hearing and Fly.

[NexAdruin]

heal defenestration and leave