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[François]

We all know Francois took up the cause of the Maou, eliminated the four great Seraphs, drove God's forces from Tokyo's Great Cathedral and delivered the world to the hands of the Gaians. And then everybody lived happily ever after.

But what if he had decided to take vengeance upon the demons for what they had done to the world he once knew? What if he had assassinated Ahura Mazda and Gabriel, depriving both Gaians and Mesians of their supernatural leadership? What if he managed to unite the remainder of humanity under a common banner of unity and goodwill, or at least of peaceful coexistence?

Let's find out.

Let's play Shin Megami Tensei II.

Shin Megami Tensei II - Intro

: W...what? God's asinine fanclub is running the show now? I'm gonna-
*: You're not gonna anything. I'm sorry, but you're long dead.
: Well that's bullshit and I don't care who knows it.
*: Guess you should have sided with Lucifer, huh?
: ...I hate you so much.
*: Besides, you've had your fifteen minutes. It's time to tell the story of another young man.
: This is my story!
*: No, it's not. Shut up. Seriously. I will Hama you.
: Let's blitzball!
*: You asked for it.
: I'm a dreeeeeaaaaaam~
: Yeesh. At least he can't be dressed worse than that guy, right?
*: Let's see.



: Hey, he looks almost badass, apart from the... and the... Hmm. Eh, he's alright. What's the catch?
*: Err... He might have... slightly lost his entire memory.
: Oh. Great. I guess we didn't meet the cliché quota last time and the union's making us pay for it.
*: Just give him a chance, alright? Besides, you were nothing but catches, and look where you ended up!
: Bah, fine, whatever. I won't have to take your crap for much longer. That's his job now. Hey, new guy! Good luck! And watch out for Tengus, they'll fuck a dude up!
*: Those are your words of wisdom? Really?
: Well, they will.

*: Once again this is the AGTP patch played on BSNES. The last game was mostly blind, but this is even blinder. I had played a tiny bit a long, long time ago, but decided to finish the original first, and I really didn't make it very far at all; I have vague recollections of a single early twist and that's pretty much it.

The game systems seem to be basically unchanged, though the interface in general looks slicker and much improved, being more of what you'd expect from a game released in March 1994, a couple of weeks before Final Fantasy VI (which ain't exactly the best timing any way you look at it). Let's just say having the automap just a shoulder button away is already a colossal improvement.

I'm mostly going to stick to the format of my first LP, with in-character black, out-of-character blue, and demon descriptions in red. I won't repeat stuff that I've already covered, of course; I'll only mention and detail what's new and what's changed, like what demons have gained/lost powers or changed races, or what races have outright switched alignments, that sort of stuff. So yeah, if you're unfamiliar with the series at this point, my other LP is a better place to start.

Alright, this should do. Let's summon, let's conquer, let's... wake up.

[François]

Mom?

No, wait. That's not...





*: Well, that music's certainly cheerier than what we're used to!

Ugh.

: Until I'm not tired anymore. It's not rocket science, man.
: Hawk! Get up already! Hurry up!
: Alright, geez!
: ...You've made it all the way to the tournament finals, you can't start slacking now!
: I'll start slacking whenever I damn well please!
: And don't give me any bullshit about not being capable... I may have been the one that saved you when I found you getting attacked by that demon, but I could tell right off from the way that you were fighting that thing that you were a natural! Especially the way you were able to hold your own despite being in that drunken stupor!
: Hey, that was my drunken martial trance, you rube.
: Don't give me that face... You better be glad I saved your sorry ass!
: Pfft, you only saved my sorry ass because you wanted me to fight for you, like some... like some sort of monster, that you'd put in, like, your pocket, or something.
: And remember, in your test run through the virtual battler you not only made the high score, but literally went through it unscathed. That's skill! And don't be forgetting that I was the one that paid for that run! After all, you couldn't even remember your own name when I found you... Who else would've taken you in?
: If you're gonna put a random amnesiac drunk you picked off the street through a series of virtual pit fights, paying for him is really the least you can do.
: And you make a hell of a Gladiator too... thanks to me, of course. Hawk's a pretty cool-sounding name for one too, doncha think?
: Not sure I like the sound of my finishing move though. "Hawk Punch"? That's retarded.
: ...Ah, this formerly studentless old man's luck has finally turned. Anyhow, until you win the championship and get us both out of this hell-hole, no slacking! I'm not going to let that asshole Haneda show me up any longer!
: Dang, settle down, coach. Last time you had a fit about Haneda you got so mad your eye popped right out.
: Crap, sorry 'bout the rambling...

: Yeah, yeah, I got you.
: Then get your ass up and start today's training!



*: Let's try leaving.

: Eh, screw training, I'm gonna go pick up some ladies.
: What? You wanna go out and have fun? ...With the half-assed effort you've been putting into training? You gotta be joking!!

*: Alright then, let's save.



: Wait, weren't you just bitching at me because I wouldn't get up?
: Take it easy, kick back, and get rid of that tension.
: Whatever you say, man.



*: Still only two save files. And hey, we're level 6 already!


: ...huh?
: Did you sleep well?
: That was like thirty seconds! What's your problem?

*: Alright, enough messing around. Let's train!

: Go and do a runthrough in the virtual trainer.







*: Yikes, I'm getting Wizardry flashbacks here.

We have a new main interface; most of it is information we've always had, but it's arranged differently. The little monster icon is Hawk's status, showing that he's perfectly healthy at the moment. We do have a new element, however: the flashing horizontal bar in the middle of the screen. It's an indicator that shows you how likely you are to run into a random encounter. It's pulsating red and yellow right now, which means that this is a dangerous area (which makes sense considering we're in a battle simulator).

Let's get going!





*: Dang but this is some awesome battle music! Totally not disappointed over here.

The fight's over quickly. Hawk one-shots the dogs with 6 damage to each, and he takes a single point of damage in return.

Lv? Shiki Zombie Dog
I hate to be snarky when describing the first demon in the game, but... it's a zombie dog. What do you want from me, people? You can come up with your own damn Resident Evil reference. It has a poison bite attack, it can waste a turn doing nothing, and it can try to summon help.

We run into more zombie dogs and get poisoned early on, though it doesn't seem to be a big deal. Hey, while I think about it...



Ouch. Francois started at level 1, with 5 to all stats and 18 bonus points to distribute. Hawk does get an Attack Knife, a Headgear, a Survival Vest, Leather Gloves and Leather Boots, which is the first set of basic equipment available in Kichijoji way back when. That's kind of a raw deal if you ask me. And of course, as seems to be the custom, we don't have any MP.



*: Oh hey, new sprites for old critters! This is already looking good.

Lv? Yuuki Gaki
Pretty much the same as they were, though they have a new multi-hit claw attack which ain't much of a threat, and they can attempt to summon help. Or have they always been able to do that? The answer is, who cares, it's a fucking Gaki.

Er... Gaki or not, we get well and truly mauled, coming out of the fight with only 18 HP. Fortunately, we also gain a level.



Yup, still only one point. I don't know why I expected more. Maybe I'm just remembering Digital Devil Saga. Anyway, I start increasing Intelligence right away.



L? Akuryou Poltergeist
Poltergeist, a German word meaning "noisy ghost", is a catch-all term for ghostly entities that are mainly said to knock on doors and walls and throw stuff around, like invisible children on a sugar buzz. Here they don't have much going for them other than a weak Panic-causing ability. I can't be assed to capture their whole animation, but they're constantly flitting and spinning around.

*: Ooooh, so that's where these guys came from! Aren't they just the most adorable little dead-eyed undead fuckers?





Well this ain't much of a dungeon. Which is alright I suppose, considering. And the boss is...



Lv? Shiki Zombie
Still apparently much the same, with a Fist of the North Star mook makeover. He's... already dead. (I'm not sorry, that was glorious and you know it.)

That was easily the toughest single critter in here, but no great challenge anyway.



: I'm not sure I dig this virtual poison. How does that even work? Are you sure you didn't just paint a few rooms black and set a bunch of demons loose and call it a Virtual Battler?



: I'm not getting an answer to that, am I?

*: We're back to the Save/Training/Leave menu. I know from a very short test run that Okamoto doesn't let you leave the gym until you're at least level 7, but that's not a problem for us. Fortunately we did recover from the virtual poison, but I had to rest and save to get my HP back.

: Alright, can I go now?
: Here, take this. Use it for the public Virtual Battlers about town to train yourself.
>Okamoto gave you 200 Makka.
: Hey, look at the big spender! You sure know how to make a guy feel special.

Alright, time to get out of that stinky hole and enjoy a breath of fresh air!





Oh. Right.

[François]

*: The encounter bar is green and blue, so this is a safe area. According to the manual, this is Valhalla, a city within Tokyo Millenium that lives and breathes gladiatorial combat. It's kind of a lower-class place, under control of the Mesian authorities (of course) but with most people not having much to do with the government in general. I get a kind of Lower Midgar vibe. Let's check it out.





: What? Why?
: What with Okamoto being as poor as he is, everyone knows he doesn't have any money. Tell him to return the 1000 Makka I lent him!
: If you know he doesn't have any money, how do you expect him to... Bah, never mind.


: Look, I'm sorry, I gotta go, my idiot alert is going off.
: What's that?
: It's a device that warns me when I get close to idiots.
: Huh?
: Yeah, bye.


: Huh, really? What kind of guy? Tall, dark and brooding?
: What was he like? Well...









: Dang but I did not need to see that.
: You will give him a name... Understand?
: Actually, no, I don't understand. What's going on here?
: I had thought you would name him. Can you not?
: Well, I suppose I can. How about Kan-
: Ixnay on the Aneda-kay!
: What the-?
*: Yeah, no, that's not gonna fly.
: Err, okay then. How about... Samuel?
: Huh? Why?
: I don't know. He looks like a Samuel.
: ...Samuel... Samuel is his name?
: Yeah.
: So his name is Samuel...






: Listen when someone's talking to you!
: Sorry, I don't know what came over me. You were saying?
: The guy who was looking for you... called himself Samuel.

Huh, so I'm a psychic. That's one hell of a thing to forget.

: Alright, thanks. I gotta go. Say hi to Harley for me, will ya?


: Can you blame them? It feels like we're living in a Doom level.
: If you're looking for information, the bar is the place to go!


: Hey, that's good news!
: Those who believe will all be saved!
:
*: Shush now.


: I'll identify anything you have for 10 makka apiece. You don't have any items you can identify. Come again!

*: Not a fan of having to pay a dude to tell me what my stuff does, but it sure beats how the last game did it: wait ten years and go look on the Internet.


: you can choose what you want to buy by pressing up and down, and change the quantity of what you purchase by pressing left and right. This way you can buy and sell everything you want all at once easily.
*: "Hey players, we're a modern RPG now!"


: Sure did, sweet thing.
: Good luck! If you become the Champion, you get to live in the Center!
: Hey, maybe I'll take you with me when I go!

*: The Center is the heart of the Mesian government, where all the magnates, tycoons, bigwigs and other cardinals live.


: If it isn't Mister Friendly the joy merchant. Still putting the arse in arsenal?
: Nothing personal, but I can't sell anything to members of Okamoto's gym. Sorry...

Did that guy really do me a favor by taking me under his wing?



Now we're talking!







*: Hey, this looks like the Cathedral, kinda. I wonder if that makes sense, though maybe it does, since I think Tokyo Millenium was built on top of the Cathedral ruins. But never mind that: DIG THAT GROOVE! Tsukasa Masuko, you went and did it again.



This is the best place ever. Let's never leave.


: I could join Haneda's Gym and become one of his warriors.
: I keep hearing about that guy, but I've never met him.
: Haneda Gym...? It's right to the east of the main town.



Aw yeah!


: Nothin' you don't want me to look at, babe.
: I suppose it's only natural to be taken in by my beauty... But if you're here, you gotta be dancing!
: Err, maybe later.



Alright, that one I should probably stay away from.

: Fair eve, milady! Wouldst thou like to hear about mine comic book collection?

Whew, she's leaving. Well played, Hawk!



Man, what's so hot about Center anyway?


*: I can add nothing to this.
: Request yourselves some far out music!



*: ...It's a sound test. Wow, this game has everything. I'm enough of a music nerd to avoid spoiling the soundtrack for myself though, so I don't spend much time here.


Okay, yeah, I'm not that open-minded.


: Not as great as you'd look out of that dress!
: Boy was I ever right to flee that slum town!
: Struck down in one blow...
: The entire northwest section of Valhalla is shut off, making it past the guards to get here was tough! I think I'll go to the Colosseum next!

*: Alright, that's all the disco has to offer us. Let's keep exploring.
: Reluctantly.
*: *sigh* Yeah...


: It's gotten so that nobody will take anything but Makka any more.


: then blowing it all at the casino and never returning it.
:
: So until he shapes up I'm not selling him anything. Unfortunately that extends to you too, since you're staying with him.


: All of the Areas are controlled centrally by the "Center."


: Huh?
(Voice): Come here. No, over here, to your right. Stand here before me and listen to what I have to say. Then your eyes will be opened and your path will become clear...

Well that's not suspicious at all. I can defend myself if I have to though, so let's see what's going on.




: and guide you to the correct path.
: I should have guessed.
: Is this the first time that you came here?
: You mean you can't tell?
: Very well, I shall tell your fortune for free.
: Oh, come on, I'm amnesiac and even I can see through that.
: Hmm.... Hmmmmmmm.... Deep, deep within the recesses of your soul... I see... a name. A woman's name. She is very important to you.
: Okay, now you have my attention.
: Can you remember her name?
: J... Julia...?
: No way!
*: What? Why?
: It's a stupid name.
*: No it's not, shut up. Why are you even still here?
: I'm bored out of my skull housesitting the Kongokai for En-no-Ozuno, and Kei went to a vegan BBQ with Other Kei. Those neutral blokes are total sticks in the mud. Absolutely no fun at all.
: So, you've remembered? Her name is Julia, correct?
: Yeah.
: Julia. Do not ever forget that name.
: ...I won't.
: Her fate is inexorably entwined with your own.
: That's not as bad as it sounds, honestly. Most of the time.



Man is that convenient. I need a drink.



I check out the menu, but the stuff on there costs from 90 to 200 Makka, and spending any of my ridiculously tight allowance on booze would probably set off my idiot alarm. Le sigh. Let's settle for a chat.



*: Instead of having NPCs randomly spread out around the floor, this bar is a single tile with four people in it. That's pretty convenient.


: virtual battling.
: Okay, that's bizarre.
*: Oh hey, I was wondering what happened to Steven.
: That's not supposed to be part of the program!
: Unless they're training people to beat up the handicapped. Maybe that's what it takes to make it in the Temple Knights these days.


: If you win I'll do whatever you want me to, if you get my drift.

Now that's my kind of crazy!


: Yup!
: You sure you can afford to be wasting time in a place like this?
: Nope!


: vs. Hawk. Word on the street has it that Red Bear is probably going to win.
: Bah! Feh! Bah! This joint stinks. Up yours, alcoholics!


: It ain't bad being governed by a beautiful ruler!
: I... suppose not.
: I went to her manor up in the northeast sector of Valhalla, but her guards kicked me out.


: something no good, I hear.
: As scientists are wont to do.


: You too can be a hero in cyberspace!
*: ...
: How does this place work, anyway?
: When you play the Virtual Battler, we'll hook you up to this virtual reality station, and in the virtual world you can fight demons. Except for the fact that you won't die if you lose, it's exactly like a real-life fight, so it works quite well for combat training. You can use it to gain battle experience, but keep in mind that if you use any real-life items while training, you'll lose them for real. Game over is either when you run out of HP or defeat the level boss... Being able to win by defeating the boss is pretty impressive! So, you understand?
: Yeah, it's not that hard to figure out. Thanks.

I could train some more... but I got time before the big fight. I should get out of here for once, even if just for a moment. I need to think. Samuel, and Julia...







*: Huh. Those Mesians sure know how to clean up, at least.

[Smiler]

Eeeeeee

[Mothra]

Saw the discotek fiends shredding the dance floor and had to make this:

Tokyo Tensei Nights

This game is already amazing.

[Büge]

dat music

[François]

*: We seem limited to four buildings, including the one we just left. There are two paths to other parts of the overworld map, but trying to go through either gets us...


: The tournament comes closer every second!
: ...Are you stalking me?
: Get back to the gym already!
: Seriously, don't you have a life? Or did they cut you off at the casino too?

He leaves in a huff. Pff, whatever. The old fart needs me.



Heyo, what's this?



That's not scuzzy-looking at all!


: If it isn't the sole warrior from that run-down Okamoto gym!
: The one and only. Literally.
: I bet you can't get decent training at that grubby old gym.
: Well, everything does smell like dirty socks. Even the clean socks.
: How would you like to join mine? You're pretty cute too, just my type. You can never have too many handsome young warriors!
: Uh... Pass.
: Anyway, if you'd like to use my top-of-the-line virtual trainers, you're welcome to them. I won't let you train for free, of course, but if you're interested just ask one of the gym members. Of course, no matter how hard you train, you'll never be able to stand up to my warrior, Red Bear! Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Yeesh.

*: There's a Virtual Trainer in the building, but it looks the same as the one near Okamoto's place, but more expensive.


: In the past, it's produced several warriors who went on to become Champion!


: ...I don't want to die...
: Then quit.





*: In other words, there's nothing of great interest here.



A church, eh?



Yeah, Valhalla is the ass-end of Millenium, I can tell.





*: So there's the Tokyo Millenium Terminal System. Hmph. Guess these things were too valuable to destroy, even to the Mesians. We can save and teleport, as expected, though we don't have any teleport destinations yet.


: the Mesia Church. What can I do for you?



*: Apart from the typical healing of HP, MP and status, they actually accept to sell us items. Unfortunately they're all out of our meager price range.

And now for the last building behind the church...



Some sort of utility station maybe?



Oh hey!




: Jakyo Mansion, where demons come together.
: Oh, for cripes' sake. You've gone and done it. You've installed giant robo-vaginas. What are you trying to tell us, man?
: I do demon fusion. Do the math.
: I'd rather not.
: It's a living!
: I'm sorry for you.
: Eh, don't be. I happen to enjoy it very much.
: *ahem*
: Yes, alright. Demon fusion. You got any demons?
: Nooooo?
: Well then get on out of here.
: You won't have to tell me twice!


: are forbidden entry to the Center.

*: Ooh, so that's an underground tunnel leading out of here. Good to know!


: Alright, I get the picture, sheesh.

*: Well that was a charming little dungeon-y area. I forgot to screenshot the map so I can't show you, but it's interesting to note that the Temple Knights are situated directly at the southern tip of a large Christian cross.

Alright, enough messing around. I have some cash and some time, might as well train. It'd kind of suck to lose to Haneda's fruity mofos before I have a chance to figure out what's wrong with my brain.

: Alright, miss, strap me in. I'll take it easy with Level 1 first, then we'll ramp it up, okay?
: Level 1 costs 20 Makka. This level is a cinch, it should be a breeze. Enjoy yourself!



Huh. This is different. And the encounter indicator is quiet. What's going on?


>....Something crossed your path up ahead....
*: !!!



And again! It must be that man I've heard about.


: Hi! I'm not a unicorn.
: I'm a person just like you, and I came into this virtual battle so I could meet you. My name is... Call me Steven. I'm here because there's something I want to give you. Here... This is my Demon Summoning Program that I wrote. You can download it to your arm terminal directly through the virtual interface here.

*: I should have mentioned this earlier, but we do have a computer strapped to our arm already. It's apparently a sort of Pip-boy, able to interface with the Mesian-run Terminal System, and not everybody has one; Second-Rank Citizens are the lowest grade of people who are allowed to have one, and those are one notch above random commoners. That we were found in Valhalla is somewhat unusual.

: There has been an... incident... and because of it, very soon, "Tokyo Millenium" here will most likely be overrun with demons. The leaders of this city have been suppressing the demons for a long time, but they can no longer hold out. At this point, nothing can stop the demons from entering our world. Unless we learn to live with the demons and use their power, we humans will never survive. Therefore, in preparation, I have been giving this program to everyone that looks to be able to summon and use demons. I don't know who you are, nor does it matter to me. All I can tell is that you are powerful, and thus I am giving you this program. Do you understand me?
: Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
: Very well. I am glad that you understand. I shall upload the demon summoning program into your arm terminal. Use it well!
>Hawk received the Demon Summoning Program.
: I hope you use this program with forethought and moderation. We will most likely meet again, here in the virtual reality of the Virtual Battler. I look forward to seeing you again. Goodbye for now!


: Did you enjoy yourself? Do you want to stop? Come again!

....huh. Demons...?

I suppose that sounds bad, but... does it even concern me? I've got bigger fish to fry right now. And it's not like I actually got any training out of this. Let's try again.

*: We turn right around and pay for level 1 again.



Oh, for... What is wrong with that freaking machine? I just want to stab some virtual demons, is that too much to ask?






: Gah!
: ...Give him a name.
: Yeah, whatever.
: His name is...
: Nathan.
: Nathan. Is this all right?
: Yeah.
: So his name is Nathan....







*: And that's it, we're returned to the virtual dungeon. Hmm. I have no clue where Arcadia is. Oh well!



Lv? Demonoid Oracles
In Antiquity, oracles were specific people through whom the gods were said to speak directly, offering often cryptic advice and predictions. Here they are fragile spellcasters, not particularly worthy of mention on their own, but able to pileup Taru-nda, Raku-nda and Jio damage quickly when found in groups, making them actually rather dangerous. Clearly they don't have much to do with the historical oracles, so you're probably wondering what the deal is there. Well, there's actually a reason for this discrepancy.

Demonoids are artificial, man-made demons, always Neutral-Neutral.
: What the balls!? Did some idiot decide the infinite hordes of the Abyss could use some reinforcements? I can't believe these people!
As I gather, they might be loosely based on some mythology or other, but they seem to be mostly unrelated constructs otherwise. It's kind of like naming your new car model "Persephone", I suppose.



Lv? Gedo Slime
They have a new "sticks to opponent" special move that I'm not quite sure what it does yet.



Wait, that was the boss? I didn't even explore half this place! They don't call this level 1 for nothing!

*: Beating the Oracles got us a level-up, so it wasn't a complete waste. The girl lets me buy my way on to another level right away, so on to level 2!



Lv? Jaki Gremlin
Heh, looks like these guys finally geared up to do some serious airplane sabotage. I've seen them use Maka-kaja, but I don't remember if that's new.

Jaki used to be Dark-Law, but they're now Dark-Neutral, which ends the absurdity of having them on the same side as the angels in the first game. Hey, that puts Girimehkala within reach of any alignment, which is great news! Or, it does if it's even still a Jaki to begin with. We'll see!



Lv? Youju Audrey
It's the man-eating plant from The Little Shop of Horrors, a crossbreed of butterwort and Venus fly trap. I've never seen any incarnation of that story, so yeah.

Youju are sentient, aggressive plants. They're Dark-Neutral.

Audrey did nothing but hit hard and in fact almost killed us, but she did get us enough experience to level up again. And she was the boss as well. Let's try level 3.

...okay, Zombie Dogs first. Nothing we can't handle.



Oh, this is just great. I'm wandering in a virus-infested virtual reality machine. Really makes a guy feel safe.

Lv? Virus Moebius
Maybe this is named after a resemblance to a Möbius strip. I'm not sure what it's capable of; it did nothing but attack and die.

If living, flesh and blood demons can be stored as computer programs, it's only logical that computer programs can be materialized as living, flesh and blood demons. (I know, just roll with it. ) Appropriately, they are Dark-Chaos.



Lv? Demonoid Spartan
Warrior-type artificial demons, clearly named after those who dwell in a land that knows no madness.

We met these guys with 1 HP left, so they killed us. No harm done, we're just kicked out of the Virtual Battle system. We still have 90 Makka, let's go back.

...to promptled get shanked by five Oracles. Eh, is fine, we can still afford to go one last time. Let's try level 4.



That's gotta be the boss right there. In fact, he deals us 20 damage on the first round. We last exactly three rounds.

Lv? Youjuu Garm
Garm is the terrifying bloodstained hound who guards the gates of the Norse underworld, sort of like Kerberos but hardcore enough not to need extra heads to do the job. His howl heralds the coming of Ragnarök.

Well, there we are. Time to ask papa Okamoto for some more quarters, I suppose.

*: There's really not much else we can do. Nobody will sell us healing items, we couldn't afford them anyway, and I don't have any spells or demons to summon. (Before you ask, I can't even talk to the critters in the simulation.)


: One more win, and you're the champion...
: Man I hope Red Bear isn't stronger than a Garm.
: So relax, and go get some rest so you'll be prepared!

*: We're sent to our room, where we're prompted to save. We're level 10 now, with some more Intelligence, a little Strength, and a little Constitution.

: Arrite! Let's head to the Colosseum! Now listen close, 'cause I know that you still haven't gotten your bearings around here yet. To get to the Colosseum just head north from that twerp Haneda's gym. Remember! You're tough!
: I'm pumped!
: You're the best there is!
: Yeah!
: You can win, got it?
: Eye of the tiger!
: Just remember what I taught you and you'll be fine!

Oh man, we are doomed.

: Or would you like to take a quick rest before we head out?
: Honestly, you shouldn't give me enough time to have second thoughts about this. Let's go.
: Don't you need to go to the restroom?
: No! What? No! What are you talking about?
: Number one, baby! Wooooohooo!

Man, groupies.

: All right then, go on ahead. I'll catch up with you.
: See you there, coach.

[François]

Okay then. North of Haneda's what the FUCK-



Now I have to fight my way to the fight? How does that make sense?

*: Ha, like it has to. On the plus side, we made 8 Makka and 4 Magnetite. And hey, the encounter gauge on the overworld is yellow and red. Oh boy!

A few steps later, we run into some poltergeists.

: Uh, hi? Are you for real?
: Hee! Hee!
>Poltergeist wants to fight.
: Alright then!

Huh, so demons are running loose now. Maybe that wheelchair guy was on to something. Hmm...

You know what? I'm going to spend some time to try and recruit something. I'll need any edge I can get for the fight, and maybe that Demon Summoning Program can make a difference.



*: We're actually allowed to roam further this time.


: Those without official business must stay out!
: Heh, I'll be back before long, just watch me.









Well, that was unusually straightforward.



Okay, I get it. Not that way, then!

*: Hey, multiple enemy types in a random battle! I was hoping this would be a thing, it should really add a much-needed layer of strategy to the fighting. Anyway, I go back near Haneda's gym, it's probably safer.



That's different!

: Hiya! I'm Hawk! How's it going?
: You can use that computer to talk to me?
: I'm as surprised as you are, lady.
: Cool! I think I'll become your minion!
: You... will?
: I am Yousei High Pixie. I am at your service.
: Wait a minute. Waaaaait a minute.
*: What?
: That's it? She just comes along? I had to pay my first ally, and she was just a regular pixie! What gives?
*: This is a sequel, man, we're ramping this mofo up. Get with the times!
: Man...



Lv7 Yousei High Pixie
In terms of flavor, I don't think there's much more to these girls than "high-ranking pixie". On the other hand, despite their fragility, they've got a pretty damn good spell selection.

*: Hey, we're not even limited to three abilities per demon anymore. Can this game possibly get any better? Unfortunately, she does charge more than twice the money we have now, so we can't summon her quite yet.




: Here is the latest news from Millenium... An old man who works at the Factory has given a donation of 10,000 Makka to the Mesia Church. Mr. Takemura, age 78, had been working for 50 years, slowly putting money into a savings fund a bit at a time. He brought the entire 10,000 Makka he had saved to the church yesterday. We should all strive to be as faithful and generous as he is!

Can't help but be mildly horrified at this. Well, it's his money, I suppose. Or, uh, not anymore.



Alright then. Let's see if I make it to age 78 myself.



Man is this place run down. I don't know why that surprises me anymore.


: Here we have erected statues of each of the Champions who have won the tournaments and attained Center citizenship.


>Despite having a small stature, consistently defeated all manner of strong opponents. Specialized in using his opponent's power to his own advantage.


: Oh please.
>Had huge pride in the aesthetic qualities of his muscular body. He is also widely renowned for his uncanny luck.


>Climbed the ranks while always fighting fairly on even terms, he was nicknamed "The True Samurai". A serious person, he continues to be one of the most popular Warriors, and still has lots of fans.
: Ha, screw that, I'm bringing a fairy. Two-on-one for the win!


>An extremely hardy fighter that could shake off hits as if they were nothing. It's said that his body contained triple the magnetite of a normal human being's.


>Wielding superhuman strength, the strongest warrior ever to fight in the Colosseum. Famous for his battle to the death against Killer Tsune.
: He must have trained himself against all the people who picked on him because his name was Feather Adonis.


: Hey, that's me!
>Said to have been able to freely summon and control demons at will.
: They didn't even remember my name! What the hell?
*: I'm sure they would have if they could pronounce it.

Okay, enough messing around. Let's do this.




: trainee Hawk! Now listen, you make sure that he doesn't die too quickly! If the fight goes too quickly, the spectators will get pissed and start a riot!
: Bah.
: All right, here's the rules. The final battle is a Dungeon Match. Both you and your opponent will be dropped in different parts of a big maze, the center of which is set up as an arena. Once the match starts, you need to work your way through the maze. We've dropped some weapons and items in various places in there. If you find them they should help you out. To make things interesting we've released a fairly large number of demons into the maze too. Once both fighters enter the ring, the true fight starts. You can only fight your opponent in the ring! No fighting in the maze if you happen to run into each other there! The winner of the fight will be the first to knock out or kill their opponent, of course. Those are the rules. Got it?
: No problem.
: All right then, Hawk, go on through.
: You've come this far... There's nothing more I can do to teach you! Go for it, Hawk! Have confidence in your abilities! You ARE strong! You WILL win! You come back alive and in one piece, got it?!
: Yeah!
: Now get on out there and show 'em what you're made of!


: The finals of the tournament begin in earnest! Let's introduce our two contenders for the championship! In this corner, we have... Red Bear! ...and in this corner, Hawk! READY! GO!







*: It's an upgrade, can't complain. Now I'm kind of thankful we couldn't buy anything before.


: What the hell are you?
: Are you thinking of killing me?
: This is a freaking pit fight, what do you think?
: Gyahyaha! You make me laugh! Human, come over here!
: Sure, like I'm afraid of a ridiculous critter like you.
: Maybe I'll listen to you. Go ahead, tell me what you want!

*: My only choices here are yes and no. Hmm.

: Okay?
: The humans are our slaves! Ya ha ha ha! That's the spirit! Take this!!


>Chon-chon left.
: ...the fuck?

Lv? Kyouchou Chon-chon
Chon-chon are mythological creatures of the Mapuche people, who dwell in southern Chile and southwestern Argentina. Evil shamans called "kalkus" know the secret of a magical unguent which, when applied to their necks, allows their heads to separate from their bodies and fly around. The resulting creature is said to bring curses and ill omen.

*: Then we run into Slimes and a Spartan, the latter of which I recruit for a paltry amount of makka and magnetite.



It's pretty pathetic, unfortunately. Notice the cost for Punch? It's in HP. I see this is where the series picked up its habit of charging a percentage of one's HP in order to use special physical skills. This Spartan doesn't even have enough HP for Punch to actually cost anything... but it's got a Strength of 3.

There are several chests in this little dungeon, containing:
-A "Leggerslam", which is a boot replacement;
-Rivet Knuckles;
-a Kaiser Armor which I suppose goes well with our Fritz Helmet;
-a Slicer, which is a much better melee weapon than our attack knife;
-Bullets;
-and a Desert Eagle, which turns out to be much stronger than the Slicer.



Guess we might need that shiny new stuff. Or not?

: I don't remember seeing this gun before, but by the looks of it it could probably blow a hole clean through even a big guy like you.
: Just who the heck are you?
: I'm Hawk. They didn't tell you about me before dumping you in here?
: I know you! The superhero Hawk-man... That what you trying to be? You're pretty naive, eh?
: I did lose my memory, so I suppose I can't help it.
: Well, good luck.
>Hawk got Garnet. Heracles left.

*: Well would you look at that. Guess who's gonna continue to invest in Intelligence?

Lv? Demonoid Heracles
Another artificial warrior demon, clearly named after the mighty demigod of Greek legend.

I manage to talk several groups of Oracles into giving us money, but we still don't have enough to summon the High Pixie. We're gonna have to settle for the Spartan.


: So you're Haneda's wuv pumpkin.



Aw crap! Not the time!




: His power is nearly identical to yours... Can you decide on an appropriate name for him?
: He looks like me, huh? How about Janus?
: So, you will name him Janus then?
: Look, I don't know any of these people. There's not much I can do.
: So he is named Janus... I see...






: Listen when I'm talking to you! I gotta admit, you've got guts to ignore me like that... or maybe you're just a fool. Hawk, you've done quite well, making it up the ranks this far. I applaud your fighting prowess!







*: Hawk shoots the guy who brought a sword to a gun fight, and Spartan... punches. Or he would punch if Bear hadn't kicked him for 10 damage. Oh well! The guy has a regular attack as well as special punch and kick moves, but they're all pretty much the same and don't change the fact that he falls over like a sack of bloody potatoes after we put four .50 rounds into his fool ass.

I don't see Senshi in manual's race list, but it's safe to assume this is a "human warrior" category.


: One more... and I'd be... Champion... I... could have... gone to the... Center....



I...

I did it.

...

Now what?

: The new Champion is Hawk! The new Champion is....

[Mothra]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[François]

: I've finally got a decent gym, and showed up that pansy Haneda! Not only that, I'm finally out of debt and can buy stuff around town too. Keep winning and make us both rich! If you keep winning, the Madam'll take notice and call us to her mansion. Hehehehe...
: Coach, tell me you don't think she'd call us to get it on with you.
: Oh, Madam...
: Aw man!
: H-Hawk! What the hell are you looking at me like that for?
: No reason!
: Oh yeah, and not only all this, but you get to become an official resident of the Center!

This should probably mean a lot, especially after hearing Red Bear's dying words, but I'm afraid it's not such a big deal to me, and I kind of feel terrible about that. Maybe I'll change my mind once I actually get there.

: ....Eh? Looks like someone's here to see you.



: Hiya. Do we know each other?
: My name is Julia. I've come here from the Center.
: ...!
: Oh? And what would a Center resident like yourself want with us?
: As the new champion, I need your help. I need your help to find someone. About six months ago, there was an accident in the Center where there was a large explosion.
*: I wonder if that was the incident Steven was talking about.
: In the confusion, a little boy disappeared. Actually, it turns out that the accident really wasn't an accident at all. It was deliberately set up by two scientists named Mekata and Hanada, both of whom disappeared right afterwards. After the explosion I searched for the little boy, but couldn't find any trace of him anywhere. I think the two scientists took him with them. Through some digging around, I discovered that one of the scientists, Hanada, has been hiding in Madam's mansion in Valhalla. The security of Madam's mansion is really tight, and she never lets anyone in normally. But they say she always summons new Champions there to congratulate them on their victory. Please, take me with you! I can't get into that mansion any other way!

Hmm. Something smells fishy here. I'm not particularly inclined to do this... but her name's Julia. This is risky, but I have a feeling I'd regret turning my back on this woman.

*: Besides, we've got a little Princess Gwaelin here. Okamoto forces us to take her if we refuse.

: Alright, let's go together. It's no trouble.
: R-really!? Thank you, Champion!
: Hey now, the Champion's too busy to be bothered with your missing persons hunt!
: Don't screw this up for me, coach.
: ...Ah, what the hell, I guess it's all right.



: Looks like you've got another visitor.



: So this is what being a celebrity feels like!
: I am a messenger from Madam. She would very much like to meet you. Please come to her mansion when you are free. Here. This is an invitation from madam. Please do not bring more than one guest with you. We will be waiting for you at the mansion.
: Aw, you gotta be kidding me! Only one guest? Ah, don't worry about me though. You promised the girl you'd take her, best not to go back on it.
: Besides, you could just use this as motivation to train another champion without throwing your money away at the casino.
: I'll be here if you ever need me. Go ahead, have fun!



Ha! This is Haneda's old gym.



*: Those are pretty crappy stats for a level 18. She comes equipped with a Scorpion Whip, a Beretta, plain Bullets, a Fritz Helm, Highleg Armor, Rivet Knuckles and Titanium Boots. She knows Mapper, Dia, Jio, Patra, Doluminer and Media, which is a decent selection all things considered.

Before we go to Madam's mansion, let's go check out all the places we've been before and see if we're treated differently. Who knows, we might even pick up new critters on the way.

First stop: the Virtual Battler in our new gym.


: Like a champ!
: I'm really sorry to ask this, but president Okamoto told me not to let anyone use the battler free... even you. Sorry!

Huh. Well, it's alright, I got my prize money, I can afford it. How much did I make, actually?



Aw, man, what?

: Okamoto Gym is the gym that the new Champion, Hawk, belongs to. Since his victory, this gym has become really popular...
: I didn't need all this fancy crap though, all we had were punching bags and a bunch of weights.
: Ah! Y-you're the new Champion!

: Ah! You're the Champion! I enrolled in this gym because I want to become just like you!

: So you're the Champion now... I want to know, what's the secret of your success? What is it that makes you so strong?
: It's quite simple, really. First you drink until you forget your name, then you rely on what's left of your natural talent. Good luck!

*: We reach our starting area without incident, though the encounter indicator is still red.

A quick trip at the Appraiser reveals a few things of interest about our equipment. Notably, the Slicer hits twice and the Kaiser Armor resists Shock. This should come in handy.

: Hey, you've got an Arm Terminal there, don't you? You won it in the Colosseum, didn't you?
: No, actually, I didn't.
: Man, I envy you... With that thing you can use the Terminals... Eh, the Terminals? The closest one's right outside and a bit to the east.


: Ha!
: Just look at me! Since you defeated Red Bear, my business has just shot through the ground!

He's probably just mad he can't afford his boys anymore. Eeeeesh.

: Ah! Welcome!
: Changed your tune, eh?

*: The shop menu now has an Explain command, which allows us to check out the basic stats for stuff on sale does before we buy it. It doesn't tell us about any special effects (stat bonuses, non-defense bonuses on armor, ailment resistance, etc.) like the Appraiser does, though, which sort of blows. There are a few things I'd like to buy, but the cheapest thing is like 500 makka.

: Congratulations! Congratulations! Now that you're the Champion, you get to go to Madam's manor, right?
: Yeah. She didn't waste any time inviting me, too.

*: At the bar...

: They say there's a strange place called the Jakyo manor in the slum district where you're supposed to bring demons... For what purpose is beyond me though.

: I wonder when the next tournament will be?

: Congrats, Hawk! The new Champion! You're so wonderful!

*: The Junks store sells, Ointment, Dis-Poison, Muscle Drink and a 5000 Makka Kintan, which restores life to the dead and dying. The Weapon store sells mostly stuff that's weaker than what we have, except for 1000 Makka shotgun shells.

: Hawk! Congratulations! I knew all along that you weren't just any ordinary guy!

*: And last but not least, the Disco!

: I thought that, if only I were stronger, I could join Haneda's Gym and become one of his warriors. But I'm glad I decided not to.
: For more reasons than you'd think, even.
: His gym is just a shadow of what it used to be. Now the best gym to join is probably Okamoto's gym.
: If you're still thinking about signing up, I recommend waiting until he hires a maid to clean the jizz stains off the walls. Not a good scene right now.
:  He trained the new Champion, Hawk. Damn, but that guy's tough!
: You know it!
: He wouldn't be able to beat me at a dance contest though!
: The hell I would! You're on!



:
: I'm groovin'! I'm doin' it!
: Wevegotsomewheretobeletsgoletsgoletsgo!
: Aw, woman, you're no fun.
: You have no idea what I just rescued you from, do you?
: Victory, from the looks of it. Oh well. I'll win a dance contest some other time, I guess.

*: We go outside and check out the jumbotron and colosseum.

: This is MNN, Millenium News Network. Here is the latest news from Millenium... And now, here's today's demon report. Things are pretty clear today, with no patches of demons reported in any areas of Millenium. The danger level is currently slightly under 1.0 and falling, and we expect it to reach a level of 0.5 by the end of the day. Let us pray to God that today will be safe.

*: Holy shit, they have their equivalent of the US Terror Alert level. This is actually kind of spooky.


: Heyyyy!
: That was a hell of a fight back there, one of the best I've seen in a long time! Keep it up!
: You mean you don't often see fights that are more exciting than one guy putting a couple bullets in an idiot with a sword? Wow.
: So, have you gotten your cut from Okamoto yet? The full prize is a million Makka.
: OKAMOTO, YOU RAT-FUCKED SON OF A BITCH MOTHERFUCKER ONE-EYED CUNTFACED SHITHEAD SHIT-EATING SHITDOUCHE SHITSHIT BRONY!
: What? You haven't?
:
: ...That old weasel, he didn't just take it all with him to the casino!?
: If you'll excuse me, I need enough breaths of fresh air to make me forget how much I want to murder the man who saved my life.

*: We go to Church to calm down and maybe revive the Spartan who so valiantly died in one hit for us, but the priest won't even acknowledge his existence. Hmm.

We could try to go back to the upper level with our new party member, or see if the Templars in the tunnel will let us pass, but at this point I think I'd just rather get on with things and visit Madam already.


: I said I'd be back, didn't I?
: Y-you're the new Champion, Hawk!
: In the flesh.
: Please, please, come in. Take the elevator upstairs.



There's not much of a choice.



Snazzy! I'd like to explore a bit, maybe see if we can find that scientist, but there actually isn't much to the place.












: ...huh?
: ...Give her an appropriate name.

*: I'm getting kind of annoyed at how the game keeps asking us to name people we know absolutely nothing about. At least the original put them in appropriately foreshadowing situations, instead of just sticking them in tubes.

: Alright. Hmm... How about Elise?
: Elise. Is this all right?
: Yeah.
: Elise... Yes, that's a good name.








*: Alfred. Really.
: Oh, err, right, yeah, that's me. Sorry I spaced out for a minute there. Pit fighters, brain damage, you know how it is.
: Madam is waiting for you. Madam, the new Champion has arrived.








: Pleasure to meet you.
: The officials at the Center have left the control of everything here in Valhalla to me. People have flocked to Valhalla to visit the Colosseum and casinos we have opened here, devoting themselves to the pursuit of all sorts of earthly delights. And as a result, peace has flourished in Valhalla. With all sorts of pleasures at one's fingertips, the residents here live out their lives without conflict. Do you not think this is a great accomplishment?
: I suppose... that people who don't want to fight don't seem to have to. And that those who do, can.
: I am very proud of Valhalla. I think it is an ideal place to live. Take a look at this.


: life in this city: the "Center." The officials in the Center intend to tighten their grip on the city and control people's lives to a greater extent. However, I plan on leaving Valhalla the way it is now, as a free area.
: Center isn't gonna like that, I wager.
: However, recently there was an incident which has caused me some trouble. There was a scientist that had been working for me here for the past while, but he ran away. He intends to open a portal to the Abyss, and summon a horde of demons to the surface. The reason I called you here to my estate is that I would like you to find him and bring him back to me. As you have won the tournament, I know that you are a capable man... Would you please assist me? The scientist's name is Hanada.
: Hanada!? Then Hanada isn't here!?
: No, he is not. He has fled somewhere in the slum district. Where, I do not know. I leave the matter in your hands, Hawk.
: Hmm, alright, I'll look into it.
: Oh yes, that's right. Let me lend you my pet to assist you in your search. Kerberos, come here.
: !!!



: He is quite powerful, and surely will prove a trustworthy and reliable helper. Kerberos, don't just sit there, greet the man!
: So, you're Hawk, the new Champion, eh? Normally I wouldn't associate with low-level weak humans such as you, but as Madam requests it, I'll go along with you.
: Err, alright. Glad to have you on board.
: I am at your service... for the time being.
>Majuu Kerberos became your minion.
: Very well, I look forward to hearing good news, Hawk.

Lv43 Majuu Kerberos
He's much like his old self, basically a powerful warrior-type with spectacular stats for this point in the game. Samaricarm is the same as ever, but his Bite attack costs 14HP now, his Fire Breath costs 8MP, and he actually gained an 8MP Bind Voice skill. And he starts out summoned for free. Not bad!

*: Back outside, we run into some Zombie Dogs. Kerberos' normal attack only does 6 damage to them. That freaked me out for a moment, but it probably means that you can't deal more damage to a creature than it has HP.

I'm pretty sure the slums are to the northwest, beyond that elevator we took earlier. Before we go there though, I'm gonna see if the Temple Knights in the tunnel will let us through to Center now, just because.

...no, wait, I won't. Kerberos is eating up magnetite at an alarming rate. Straight to business, then.

[François]

Yeah, that's slummy alright.



Lv? Machine Crazy Dummy
It's... an animated crash test dummy. (Gasp!) I don't even know what they can do; in the rare case where Kerberos and Julia can't finish them off before they can act, Hawk can.



: Well you look human enough
: You want me to join you?
: Err, the more the merrier, I suppose.
: Then I'd like to see some proof of that.

*: Okay, that's a known issue detailed in the patch notes: sometimes demon conversation gets wonky. I don't make a habit of this generally, but I'm gonna use save states in these cases even if just so I know what I'm giving away. Or, not giving away.
: Blow it out your ass. I'm the freaking Champion, you should pay me to hang out with you!
: Whaat!? Don't underestimate me!
>Kugutsuchi wants to fight.
: Bring it!

Lv? Gaian Kugutsuchi
A Kugutsu is a puppet or marionette, which obviously makes these guys puppeteers. Supernatural puppeteers! Who dress like mimes! Still haven't seen one live long enough to know what they can do.



*: Hmm, I'm pretty sure I've been everywhere. But I guess not? Let's keep looking. This area is deceptively large.



Still nothing. At least we're making good money, and we're actually making a profit on magnetite.



: Hello, little dude.
: The world sucks.
: O... kay...
: I feel like going delinquent.

: Oh come on, the world's not all bad. You need to go to the disco more, you'd see.
: I really dislike those Temple Knights.
>"Maybe so..." or "Chuckle"?
: Heh.
: You're a minion of the Mesians, aren't you?
: Wait, what?
: Gimme your life!
>It got kind of annoyed.

*: I'm kind of impressed at how much more interesting the conversation options have gotten. We never had the opportunity to try and rescue a young emo demon from a life of crime before. (Other than by bashing their face in, I mean.)
: Give it a rest, kid, you don't really want to fight me.
: Kee-Ho! You've gotta be kidding!
: Yeah, no. I'm the colosseum champion, and this here is a dog who could eat three guys like me in one bite. This is not a battle you can win.
: So, you don't just want to turn me into experience points?
*: Ow, my fourth wall!
: If that was my intention I'd have been done with your mangled carcass a good minute ago.
: Will you gimme something? Gimme, gimme!
: Err, like what?
: .....I'd really like 28 makka...
: Small change, here you go.
: Thank you! I'm Chirei Knocker, ho! I'm yers to command!

Hey, that went better than I expected!

Lv6 Chirei Knocker
They have Zan, Happy Dance, Taru-kaja, Dia and Posum-di, which makes them strictly better than their garbage-y predecessors. They only have 9 MP though, which... yeah.

Chirei were Neutral-Law but are now Neutral-Neutral.

*: Alright, back to looking for... hey, what's that?



Waaaaaait a minute.



Aw man, what? Shin Megami Tensei! I thought we were bros!



Alright then, let's go.



: Huh? I appreciate the suggestion, but I'm pretty sure I'm the one in charge of this operation.

The nerve!


: Not even the Center can dictate what we do.

*: That would explain the Gaian dude we met outside.

There's a Jakyou mansion on the path Kerberos didn't want us to go. None of our options are of sufficiently low level, but soon!



Huh?


: Repair Garage!

Oh, it's a healer! That's a weird way to call it. I presume it's the Neutral-aligned one. The guy has no problem reviving our Spartan for 400 Makka. That's kind of a lot of money for a crummy demon like that, but with all the wandering outside we accumulated 2918 total, and I could use the fusion ingredient. I pay the man.


: there have been fewer and fewer tournaments.
: Maybe the Center people have grown tired of accomodating every meathead that climbed out of the colosseum.
: Could be that you end up being the final champion.
: It would look good on a resume, you gotta admit. "The Final Champion!"


: but now they only pop up every once in a while. Apparently a scientist working for Madam has been summoning all the demons that they've been using in the Colosseum.
: Ooooh, that would make sense.

*: At the end of that path we find a dead end with a Luck Incense. Aren't we glad we didn't listen to the dog?

On our way back, Kerberos incinerates a group of Slimes with his Fire Breath. Man, being able to select individual attack skills is wonderful, even if we now have to pay for them.

Hawk gained a level, so I hit the Mansion. Turns out Demonoids can't be fused with anything! Spartan doesn't even show up in the list. That wasn't the best 400 Makka I ever spent.

Wait, Kerberos has Samaricarm. I am officially a moron now.

On the other hand, we can fuse High Pixie and Knocker to make...



Lv13 Youki Azumi
It'd be an improvement over its ingredients even if only for the hit points. Sold!















: I am at your service.

I'd summon it right away... but Kerberos is already overkill as it is.


: one of Lucifer's subordinates.

*: In demonology, Lucifuge Rofocale ("one who flees the light") is a high-ranking demon in charge of Hell's government. I didn't even know Hell had a government beyond their bullshit aristocracy, but now that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense. In fact, from now on I'll never again be able to think of Hell as not having a government.

Oh hey, a dead end with a Dis-Poison in a box. Strike two, puppy.



At least he keeps pointing me to where the chests aren't.


: Gaia adherance has really been suffering. The Temple Knights kill anyone openly practicing any other religion, so we've been forced to go underground.






: Temple of Gaia. What do you need?

*: They're pretty much the same as always.

We go back to the path indicated by Kerberos. He tries to guide us a few more times, but I always check his way last.



Lv? Akuryou Hanged Man
It looks like the traditional Hanged Man tarot card, signifying patience, surrendering, and inner harmony. Which is weird, because, as we've seen, Akuryou are pretty much violent spectral undead. I can hardly wait for Steven to give me the Devil Analyze Program, because the way these new critters pop up and die instantly makes me feel like I'm playing whack-a-mole with a bulldozer.

We find a couple chests with money and magnetite, and a down staircase. Kerberos says he smells the guy one floor below.


: Oh come on, what good could possibly come of doing anything in a room that looks like this?
: This is the laboratory of the master genius, the great Doctor Hanada!
: People must confuse you with notorious homosexual Haneda all the time! How do you cope with that?
: Stay out! I'm at a critical point here!
: Yeah, no, I haven't come all this way to return empty-handed. It was hard enough finding this place.
: What? You've come to take me back?! Like hell you will! A master genius like me needs to be able to perform his experiments without restriction!
: I don't remember my own name but even I know that's just smokescreen bullshit intended solely to cover a deliberate rejection of research ethics!
: Since neither those thickheaded zealots in the Center nor that old fart Madam seem to be able to understand that, I've gone off to do my research by myself! And guess what that unrestricted research has produced? Nothing less than a tunnel straight to the Abyss!
: I've opened a gate to Hell! Where's my Nobel Prize? A bloo bloo blooooo!
: No longer will I have to perform all these stupid menial tasks by myself?
: Because inventing a damn dishwasher was too much work?
: From now on, I'll summon as many demons as I need to help me! To start with I'll take the artifacts I need...







: Then the... horny doll?
: What?



: N-no! That's not right! Let me just... How did it get...
: Pff... heheheh!



: I think I liked the horny one better.
: With the power contained within these four statues, all I need to do is place them in the right formation in an area whose energy is close to being in tune with the Abyss... and the door will open! Behold!!






: Kill those little punks who want to disrupt my research..ch.ch.ch.ch...
: Wha-?
: W-w-wait...
: You imbecile!
: You're supposed... to kill... them... not... me...







: Well well well. Would you look at that. We're a second too late.
: ...shut it.

[François]

Gah, wait, I'm a moron. The guy didn't want a lms, he wanted alms.

[François]

*: On the first round, Hawk attacks with the Slicer, Julia tries Jio, and Kerberos tries Bind Voice. To my great relief, Mercurius doesn't get Shocked or Bound, which already makes it more interesting to fight than 90% of the bosses in the original game. Mercurius uses Rika-ja, which causes "demons to regain their lost power"; I'm guessing that's MP regeneration?

In any case, it takes about 10 damage from the Slicer, 12 from the Desert Eagle, 5 from Jio, and 54 from Kerberos' Bite. K-dawg tears it to pieces in about two more rounds, during which it tried Rika-ja again then hit Julia for 7 damage. We get a Speed Incense for our troubles.

LV? Youma Mercurius
Not sure what the deal is here. Mercury is the Roman messenger god, presiding over trade; I can't find a way to link him to the creature at hand. Judging from the symbols on its horns I would assume it's some sort of entity from less ancient occultism or alchemical traditions, but I couldn't say for sure.

Youma are Neutral-Neutral, where formerly they were Neutral-Law.


>Laughing Doll.... Crying Doll.... Angry Doll.... Dancing Doll.... were found.

*: I don't know if there's any relation, but in SMTIII, there's a form of energy called magatsushi, which is created from the emotions of humans and human-like creatures. I'm assuming the dolls here also symbolize the power of human emotion.

: Well, we may not be able to bring Haneda back, but at least we got these five clearly important statuettes.
: Weren't there only...?
: Yes yes four alright forget it let's go.


: So there were three of you! I... guess that makes... sense?
: First, put that weapon away before you hurt someone!
: What, you're not used to attacking people who fight back? Forget it.
: Whaaat?!
>Jack the Ripper wants to fight.

Lv? Gedou Jack the Ripper
Hey, one of them cast Sibabu and the other ran away. They must have more Intelligence than the other critters in this area. Anyway, Jack the Ripper: serial killer extraordinaire, unusual fondness for the inside of prostitude's throats, etc. etc. Might as well count as mythical at this point. (Except for the, you know, the victims.)


: Hello ladies!
: Ooh... Don't stare so much!
: Can't... tear... eyes away from...
: ..... Perv!

*: We're taken back to the encounter menu, but they haven't actually been offended into hostility, so we can try talking again.

: Guilty as charged!
: Will you listen to my wish?
: Sure!

*: After a few rounds of negotiation, which included the payment of no less than three Magic Stones...

: I'm Yama Alp! Be gentle!
: ...when are you gonna give me Magic Stones?
: I've got Magic Stones for you alright!
:
: Iiiii mean, you hired me. For free! So be grateful!
:

Lv8 Yama Alp
They're more or less Germanic succubi, or perhaps incubi, since they're said to be more often male than female. They drink blood (through the nipples!) instead of stealing souls, and while encounters with them can be sexual, more often than not they're generic im-sittin-on-ur-chest-blockin-ur-bronchi nightmare demons. Here they are decent early spellcasters with basic ailment magic such as Plinpa and Sibabu.

*: We leave the building without much incident, but meet something new on the overpass outside.


: Hiya!
: Will you listen to my wish?
: You've got boobs, I'm sure he will.
: Actually, she's just a bit too freaky for me. Plus I'm almost out of rocks.
: You ought to be more attentive to a woman's feelings!
>Empousa left.

*: Nice thing about demons leaving in peace, is that they take all their allies with them even if they're a different type of demon, so you avoid the whole fight.

Lv? Yama Empousa
Empousa was a greek demigoddess, also a sort of succubus, who had sex with young men and devoured them afterwards. She's sometimes associated with the likes of Lamia, and her name was later used to refer to a sort of bizarre monster woman with one donkey leg and one bronze prosthetic leg who lurked along roads and attacked male travelers. Apparently, a foolproof way to get rid of them is to insult them, which will cause them to run and hide. As far as mythological weak points go, self-esteem ain't exactly the most impressive one.



*: It asked us to lower our guns and reacted politely when we did, and joined us for a couple Magic Stones.

Lv11 Chirei Sudama
Sudama are lesser nature spirits from Japanese folklore, watching over mountains and dwelling inside trees and rocks. They're not evil, and may manifest to warn humans of impending disaster. Here they have tanky mage stats with okay Strength and Magic, and great Stamina. They have a variety of spells, but the most interesting is the 10MP Deka-ja, which removes -kaja buffs from the enemy party.



*: When we talk to demons, we have to choose a group, just as if we were picking targets for a spell. This can lead to...

: Hiya, kitty. How's it going?



: Cait Sith, eh... I'm not interested.
>Apologize, or look angry?
: Oh wow, I'm sorry, I just figured to cat was the one to talk to... instead of... Yeah, that's kind of retarded of me.
: I don't trust you... Well then, I guess I'll take your life!
>It got kind of annoyed.
: Come on, I didn't mean to ignore you. I'm still new at this whole demon etiquette thing.
: Will you give me something?
: Such as...?

*: It took about 50 Magnetite, then...

: This isn't what I wanted! I'll show you the full extent of my power!
>Ihika started kicking up a fuss.
: All right, that's enough. Get out of my face. I was right to talk to the cat first.
>Ihika calmed down.
: I'm sorry, forgive me! Will you give me something?
: NO.
: What!? I'll show you the full extent of-
: I heard you the first time, frogface.
>Ihika wants to fight!

*: We go into battle. I have Kerberos kill the Ihika, but Hawk and Julia only defend themselves. Then I try talking to a Cait Sith again.

: Can we have a civilized discussion now?
: Ignoramus! Smelly!
>Pacify, or smile?
: Hey, look, that asshole got what was coming to him. It doesn't have to end the same way for you.
: GRRR! I'm mad, mad! Ya know?
: Right, I get it, you hung out together, I'd be pissed off too.
: You're honest... to the point of stupidity!
: I'm amnesiac, I don't have anything to lie about.
: Eh, you want me as a minion?
: Sure, why not?

*: Came with us for some Magnetite and a Magic Stone. Man I have more of those than I thought.

Lv12 Majuu Cait Sith
Cait Sith are large spectral cats of the Scottish Highlands, akin to Cu Sith. They may be transformed fairies, or possibly witches; one might compare them to the Japanese Nekomata, if perhaps less dangerous (and much less sexy). They may have been the inspiration for the Puss-in-boots story, but supernatural trickster cat myths have arose independently in many places around the world, so who knows. Here they are decent support fighter-mages, with a Claw attack, Media, Marin-Karin and Taru-kaja.

Lv? Youki Ihika
A lesser earth deity of the expansive Shinto pantheon, associated with mining.

*: At last we make it back to Madam's mansion. That gate to Hell was no joke, there were buttloads of demons out here.

: Welcome, sir Hawk! Please, go on inside.

: I apologize for keeping you waiting, sir Hawk. I shall let Madam know that you are here.



: Well, you came in handy. No hard feelings, eh?
: We couldn't bring Hanada back alive, but you're a pretty tough one! I like you, kid. I hope that we will meet again.
: Likewise.
>Kerberos left.



: I had thought you would be able to bring Hanada back alive...
: I didn't exactly expect a suicide by stupidity, but I suppose that's no excuse.
: I'm a bit disappointed, but what's done is done. By the way, someone is here to see you. He is a messenger from the Center.



: Think! Remember your true name! Your name is...

















: ...
: Whether or not you choose to be a servant of God, or an agent of the demons... Either way, it is a great gamble. A gamble on which the fate of all humanity rests... So it is now time. Identify yourself as you will.
: Yes.
: So...



*: Six characters. More than enough to name anything that moves.

[Brentai]

Hawke

[Esperath]

Sturm

[Ted Belmont]

Guild

[McDohl]

Pants

[François]

*: As is typical of most important decisions in my life, I went with the option that made me giggle the most.



: Yes.
: Hawke.... You have chosen a good name...







: ...you've got to be kidding me. The old man was off by one letter. Well, at least I won't have to reintroduce myself to anybody. Speaking of which, should I know you?
: My name is Samuel.
: ...that's a yes, then.
: I've been searching for you for quite a long time! You might not remember it, but you were originally a resident of the Center, Hawke.
*: Which explains our arm terminal.
: Also, Julia, you have also been ordered to return to the Center. The two of you should come with me. We are going back to the Center!
: I was going there anyway, might as well.
: My, this is a surprise. To think that you were a Center citizen all along... What a shame, you wouldn't have had to go to all that trouble risking your life in the Colosseum had you known.
: Dang, now I feel bad for Red Bear. I should have used my sword and gave him a fair fight instead of making our duel into the punchline to his life.
: This isn't the sort of place that you belong in.
: I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say that...
: Hurry and return to the Center!
: Right. I will. See you around, Madam, I hope things go alright for you.

*: We're instantly taken to a new location.


: Or should I say, you've finally returned? In any case, I am overjoyed to see that you are both all right.
: It's good to be back? I guess?
: Here. This ID Card is yours. At last I can give it to its rightful owner!

If this has been mine all along, why did I not have it on me when... when whatever happened to me happened?

>You got the Resident ID Card.
: As for you, Julia, you should have known better than to run off like that. The Temple Knights are our most glorious and prestigious order, and it does not look well upon us when one of them decides to arbitrarily leave the Center like that. I would like a full explanation from you in a moment. Guards! Could you escort Julia inside to my office?
: Hey, go easy on her, will you? I'm sure she can get there on her own.



: Eh, don't mention it.
: It's too bad that we never were able to find that little boy, but I appreciate you sticking your neck out for me like that... I hope I'll see you again!
: Hey, I'm a Center resident, I'm sure we'll bump into each other sometime. Goodbye!
: Well then, Hawke, welcome back to the Center! Right before you were kidnapped and brought from the Center, Mekata erased your memories.
: ...who? Oh, right, it was the scientist who escaped along with Hanada.

It must the the man I've been seeing in my flashbacks.

: As a result, you remember neither your true identity nor the divine mission that was bestowed upon you.
: Though I'm sure you'll waste no time reminding me.
: Hawke, you are to become our Savior.
: Haha, I'm sorry, but I thought I heard you say I was to become your Savior. Isn't that hilarious?
: Your birth was a fulfillment of the ancient prophecy foretold by John in the book of Revelations...
: Wait. You're serious.
: You are destined to become the Messiah! You have been given wondrous powers with which you can bring salvation to the people of the world!
: ...
: In the past, a great city known as Tokyo once stood upon this land, but was destroyed in a cataclysmic war. From the ashes of the city, we built a new city -- this "Millenium." Millenium's purpose is to actualize the Thousand Year Kingdom, an age where the people will live in peace forever. And in order for Millenium to truly become the Thousand Year Kingdom, we needed a Messiah to guide us. And so, you were born. In you, God himself has given unto us a savior.
*: Holy crap, we're a test-tube Jesus.
: To aid you in this, your most holiest of missions, God also gave us one that would be a fitting partner for the one who would become the Messiah. Elise, you may enter.


: Yowza!
: ...or so I'd say, but you don't remember me or this place, do you?
: Hmm, you look like you'd be difficult to forget.
: Poor Hawke... But don't worry, I am with you now, and will remain so from now on. You'll soon start to remember things you've forgotten, a little bit at a time, and will eventually return to your old self. And I will never leave your side, ever....

I don't know, I kinda like my new self. I suppose there are worst fates, though.

>Elise joined the party.

: Hawke, there is a dire situation in the Holytown district. King Frost has frozen over the entire area with his powerful ice magic. And if that weren't enough, Basilisk is also rampaging there, breathing thick clouds of its deadly toxic breath throughout the entire district, claiming many innocent lives.
: Okay, I get it. No rest for the righteous, eh?
: Please, save the people of Holytown! Go into the western exit from the Center. If you enter the passcode 0352 in the security door there, you can enter Holytown.





*: Whew, okay then. First things first: Elise.



Oh hey, mage stats. What a surprise! She doesn't look so specialized that we couldn't turn her into something else, but I don't see why we'd want to do that. She comes with Mapper, Dia, Me-Dia, Jio, Jionga, Patra, Doluminer and Posum-Di, which about matches her with Kei in the spell department.



The bishop has his own tiny little floor on 21F, and this elevator only takes us to 22 or 20. Let's go up.


: and even became a Temple Knight.
: Julia was always such a good girl! Why would she do something as awful as leaving the Center without permission!?
: I wouldn't be too hard on her, she did it to rescue a child. Time was of the essence.

*: Okay, that's all for 22. Let's go to 20.


: Hey, you're a Champion too! I saw your statue in the Colosseum!
: To think that I finally get to kick back and live easy after all that time risking my butt fighting in Valhalla!
: Some people have all the luck, I guess.
: When I became the champion I looked all cool and composed, but in reality I was really stressed! Losing equates to death, and that's pretty rough, you know.
: You don't say.

*: There's a Church and Terminal near the elevator. We could warp back to Valhalla, but I'd rather check out this floor at least. I might go see how things are going down there back before we go to Holytown though.

I find a Virtual Battler next door. Hey, maybe Steven has something for us, let's give it a shot.



Yup.

: Hi.
: Heyo.
: So, you're working hard to strengthen yourself in the Virtual battler, eh? Very good, very good. Is my Demon Summoning Program working the way it's supposed to?
: It hasn't seen much combat use outside of that one wimpy Spartan, but the translation is effective, at least.
: It should be fine, I've put a lot of effort into it over the years... I have something else here I would like to give you. This is the Devil Analyzer.
*: Yes!
: It will record the data of any and every demon that you encounter. You should find it useful, so use it well. I'll upload it to your terminal now.
>Hawke received the Devil Analyzer.
: I look forward to our next meeting...

*: I go back in and try level 4.



Lv10 Datenshi Ukobach
In demonology, Ukobach are lesser demons charged with keeping the infernal furnaces fueled up with the blood of the damned. Unlike most of the last game's Datenshi, they're not unique named creatures from the Lesser Key of Solomon, and are instead taken from Jacques Auguste de Plancy's 1818 Dictionnaire Infernal. They also moonlight as those bouncing fuckers who leave flames behind in Dracula's castle. Predictably, they're feeble spellcasters with Agi, Maha-Agi and Rika-ja.



Lv? Gaian Jiraiya
Jiraiya is a ninja from a Japanese folk tale, noted for being able to turn into a toad and falling in love with a princess who could turn into a snail. Oh, Japan. I've met them twice here, and every time they used multi-hitting sword attacks that hit so hard I had to run away.



Lv22 Gaian Onmyoji
A practitioner of onmyodo, an ancient Japanese form of divination based on Taoist, Buddhist and Shinto concepts. Basically they're fortune-tellers and astrologists, but the myth that developed around them and their supposedly magical powers actually puts them pretty close the the western wizard archetype. Here they are fairly competent spellcasters with the typical unremarkable stats of humans, with a mysterious "Buddha (?)" skill, MahaJio, Agirao, Mahanma and Mudo.

: Congratulations! By defeating the Onmyoji, you gain the title of Virtual Master!
: Damn, that guy was much tougher than Red Bear! Feels like I got my Champion title from a box of Cracker Jacks!
: You no longer have anything to fear! ...within Virtualspace, that is...

*: Alright, back to exploration.


: Yaaaaaay.
: Those who believe will all be saved!


: of superior ability that the Center has been watching closely. Word has it that one of them might be the Messiah...

...wait, am I a Temple Knight? Huh.

: I've heard that makka is money that's produced by demons. I think it's kind of odd that we would use that sort of money as our primary curreny in a God-fearing country like Millenium.

*: Good point. Feels as if the US suddenly started using the dinar. Lampshade hanging, or future plot point?

: The earlier explosion wasn't really all that big of a deal. Nobody was actually hurt but there was a lot of confusion, because the Center's communication lines were all cut in the blast.
: That can't possibly have been done as a cover for something much sneakier! Impossible!

: The Center's Bishop is truly leading Millenium to greatness! Though I have heard that there is a select group of advisors that he goes to for advice on big decisions...

*: It's alright, so do I.



I'm surprised, but I'm not sure why.


: Let's work together for the glory of Millenium!
: Yay Millenium! Wooooo.
: By the way, do you still remember the passcode to get up to Floor 21? In case you've forgotten, it's 5261.


: All my needs are taken care of, and there are no demons, so there's nothing to worry about!


: The north entrance leads to Valhalla, the east entrance leads to Arcadia, the west entrance leads to Holytown, and the South entrance leads to the Factory.


: breathing poison gas everywhere. Not the kind of place I'd want to be right now!!
: Oh, right, the poison! I guess I'd be doing something about that soon!

*: I find a door locked by passcode, so I try the one we just got from that Temple Knight.



...and it works! There's a staircase behind it, and it takes us to 21F.



This is a different area than the Bishop's office, though. Most of it is a big maze with tons of empty rooms, unfortunately. Except...



If it's off-limits to the damn Messiah, it must be pretty important.

There's also another passcode door, which I can't open, and...





: Well isn't this strangely familiar...
: The items that our research produces here go to benefit everyone in town. Is there something that you would like?
: Mmmaybe?
: Very well then, please wait a minute while I prepare what you need.

*: It's an item shop. They have a variety of one-shot attack items, ailment cures, and HP/MP restoratives. The most interesting item seems to be a Saint Flute, which reflects all attacks from Dark demons for one round. I don't feel like spending any money on this right now, though.

There's an arsenal next door.

: This is where we develop the weapons necessary to protect our citizens. Would you like to have a look at some of the things we're developing?
: Does the bishop have a blinged-out hat?



:
: Are you okay?
: May I...?
: No!
: What?
*: What?
: What?
: What?
*:

The guy only tells us the stats for these weapons. He only offered us a look, and that's all we're getting. Oh well.

Anyway, that's all she wrote. Let's go back to 20F and find the exit.









: God must have the smallest p-
: Hawke!

[François]

*: The Center "exterior" is a diamond-shaped map with enterable buildings at the four cardinal directions, presumably matching the four exits we've been told about in town. Holytown's to the west; let's go.





This looks like the tunnel out of Valhalla. These places must connect the different towns. We don't run into any demons here, and find Ointment, a Kintan, and a Maha-Agi Stone.



...huh?





: Err, hello.
: It's been a while since I've seen you! I'm glad to see you!
: Oh, uh, it's... mutual?
: This is Code Breaker. Play it, it's fun! You just have to guess my number. Now I'll give you hints! It's easy!



*: So, Mastermind, basically. The less turns you need to guess a three digit code with numbers from 1 to 5, the better the item you get. We need a Metal Card to play, and... we have one. Huh. Well, let's see.



Hey, lucky, another Kintan. That's worth a lot of money. The first prize is a mysterious "Coil of (?)", but the odds of guessing the code on the first try aren't the best. And we're out of Metal Cards as well.

I could easily cheat with save states, but, yeah, no.

Anyway, let's keep going.


: Please, go through.



*: 0352, just like the Bishop said.



Okay, the place really has frozen over. Now to find Basilisk and King Frost.

We first run into three easily intimidated Garms. The next random encounter starts with a bizarre noise, and...



: Wait, what? Already?



: Err... uh. Come... back? I guess?

Well that was bizarre. Let's keep looking.

*: We run into the critter several times among the random encounters, but it never sticks around.


: Hey, did you see a big ugly bird pass by? Yay high, smells like death?
: Are you the Messiah?
: ...
: Well?
: I, uh. That's what I've been told!
: Why do you fight?



: I don't have a simple answer for you, and I'm not sure I even know it myself. But right now I gotta save a bunch of people. That's it.
: Ho ho ho! That's funny! I'm rooting for you!
>Hag left.

Lv? Kijo Hag
Well, here's the prototypical mean old magic woman from every story ever written. Of course this is the more ancient discheveled, wild and wicked kind of hag, but at the core it's everything from this to the fairy godmothers to Shakespeare's three hags to Circe to the modern wytche (shudder).



Lv11 Jaki Wendigo
They show off way earlier this time, and aren't nearly as tough as they used to be. They did pick up Pen-patora and Fog Breath, the latter of which is basically two layers of accuracy debuffs if it's anything like the one in Nocturne.



Lv12 Yousei Jack Frost
Pretty much the same, but with the addition of Raku-kaja, making them less of a one-trick pony.

*: The Jack Frosts took a bit of effort to beat, so I summoned Azumi to help out.



Lv16 Demonoid Frankie
Hey, as far as demonoids being man-made monsters, this one's pretty accurate. It's a basic slow bruiser, with Punch and Rampage.

The guy's pretty tough even on his own, and after a few encounters I bring in Sudama.





: Get out of here!
: Serious I am! Shuts down to avoid further damage, it does. No electrical engineer am I, but-
: I mean, vacate the premises! There's a damn Basilisk on the loose!
: Oh, fine I am, fancy suit I have. Where's yours?
: Good question. Elise? Is Center under budget constraints or something?
: The Messiah doesn't need a suit.
: I'm not much of a healer. God didn't see fit to give me any MP.
: That's why I'm here!
: Oh, err, I... suppose that counts. As long as you stick with me.
: Always, forever and ever.
: Uh. Good. Good! Let's... let's go.
: Dosvidanya!

*: When we try to enter the building seen above, it turns out the doors are frozen solid. Man, you'd think they'd outfit the Messiah with a blowtorch or something.

There was an overpass near the beginning of this area, let's check it out.

We make it quite a ways into another section of Holytown, then encounter Basilisk again.



Whuh-oh.



Dammit!

*: Elise has Posum-di so we're alright, but at 4MP a cast, we can't do this for much longer. We fight a ton of Jack Frosts, and then...



Gah!

This is turning into a death march. We're wounded, freezing and poisoned, and the Frankies all over the place ain't no picnic either. I'd like to summon more help, but Elise can hardly keep up with healing the allies we have now.

Being the Messiah sucks.



Man I hope they still have a priest in there.



*: We're getting a moving blizzardy overlay over everything.



BOOMER!

Lv15 Akuryou Depth
I don't even know where to start looking for that one. In any case, it's a big robust meat shield with Death Touch, Water Wall and Suku-nda.

*: Hawke gets a level out of this battle, but we lose Azumi, as well as the Cait Sith I brought in to help. Ouch. Cait Sith even got one-shotted from full health, so I wonder if there's a bug somewhere. Hmm...

: Elise, I don't think we'll find a healer in here.
: Probably not.
: We can't go on like this. If we turn back now, I think we can make it all the way to Center in one piece.
: ...I don't like this.
: Neither do I, but if we run into more of these things, we're done for. Not to mention we're in no shape to face a creature strong enough to freeze this entire town. Let's go stock up on antidotes, and see what the Mansion can do for us. We'll be prepared next time.
: Right. You're... right.

*: We go back the way we came.





I have to summon Alp to support us, but we do make it. We have about 5000 Makka, but reviving and healing everyone cut that in half. Let's visit Valhalla again; I haven't found a Mansion in Center and there's only the one item shop. We could warp there, but I'll try going through the north tunnel instead.

Okay yeah, it's the same access tunnel we could reach from the other side, except the guard Temple Knights are gone. I find the Mansion first.



Hey, Spartan's there now. That's weird. Anyway...

Cait Sith + Alp =


Lv16 Youchou Ocypete
According to ancient traditions, there were only three harpies, and Ocypete was the name of one of them. She was renowned for her speed, which is reflected in her stats. She doesn't have much else going for her, but she's got a decent MP pool and a good choice of spells.

Our other options are too high-level. Hmm. I'll have to give some thought to recruiting a Jack Frost if I can.

We reach Valhalla without problems. On my way to pay a courtesy visit to Madam, I recruit an Empousa and an Ihika.

: Madam is currently quite busy and does not have time to see you.
: Oh. I see how it is. Well, give her my regards.
: My apologies.



: SQUALID HUMAN...
: You should watch your mouth when you clearly don't know who you're talking to.
: BENU'S HEAD HURTS. DO YOU KNOW WHY?
: Nope. I'm a savior, not a doctor!
>Benu looks lonely.
: SING FOR ME!
: ...what?
: SING!
: Err, alright! Here goes nothing!

V'la le bont vent

>Benu is covering its ears.
: Uggggg..... I'LL GIVE YOU THIS, SO STOP!
>Hawke got Diamond. Benu left.
: !!!

A bird gave me a diamond just so I would shut up. I don't know how I feel about that. Maybe I shouldn't have picked a song about duck hunting.

Lv9 Youchou Benu
The Bennu is rougly the Egyptian Phoenix, being a manifestion of the soul of the sun-god Ra incarnated into a heron. It's fast and incredibly fragile, but is also a passable caster for its level, with Dia and Maha-Zan.

*: If Diamonds are as rare as in the last game, my singing really sucks.

While we're on the topic of large amounts of money changing hands, let's check on Okamoto.

: Oh, Hawk! Or, should I say, Hawke...
: Eh, you don't got to make a deal of it, mang.
: So you were a citizen of the Center all along after all...?
: I know, isn't it crazy?

*: The rest of Valhalla hasn't really changed. I buy a Nape Guard (8/1), a Jamming Arm (6/3, resists Mental effects), and Titanium Boots (10/0) for Francois, which is about the best equipment money can buy. I also get two stacks of nine Dis-Poisons from the Junk store, which should really help conserve Elise's MP.

Well, okay, Valhalla has changed a little: there are demons now. We run into loose Bodyconians.

: Heyo, do you need directions to the Disco?
: Hey, will you dance with me, like I used to?
: Sorry, I kinda of need the music to get in the groove, you know?
: You're no fun! JOIN US!

*: So we had to kill them.

Lv12 Shiki Bodyconian
They're more versatile than they used to be, with Venom Claw, Paralyze Kiss, Sexy Dance and Death Touch.

I hit the Mansion again on the way back.

Empousa + Sudama =

Lv14 Majuu Cu Sith
They still got Toraest, which is about their most important aspect. They did pick up Happy Dance though, which is downright adorable.

Spartan + Ihika = Sudama

I heal and save at the Center, then head back to Holytown. I don't take any chances, so I summon a full party right away, which costs about 2000 Makka. I immediately regret it because I don't know if I'll have enough Dis-Poison to cure everyone, but it's too late. Oh well!


: LEAVE!
: Okay!
: Heh.
>Bicorn caught you by surprise.
: Balls!

*: After the surprise round, I try to talk again.

: LEAVE!
: Not falling for that again.
: DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!
>Bicorn wants to fight.

Lv15 Youjuu Bicorn
Possibly originating from Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, the Bicorn is the evil two-horned counterpart to the Unicorn. Story has it that the Bicorn grows fat by feeding on honest and faithful husbands, and that a similar creature called the Chichevache eats honest and faithful wives and is accordingly famelic and skeletal.

...what?

Dang, Chaucer, issues much?

Aaaaand we make it back to the church without meeting Jack Frost or being poisoned even once. Yay?

Anyway, let's go deeper this time.



: ...
: H... Hawke?
: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH~
: Heal everyone I will, 2000 Makka I will take.
: AAAAAaaaa-wait, what? Two grand? Shove it up your ass!

*: Other than that, this place isn't too big. It's only a matter of time until...







: You... are one big mother froster.

[McDohl]

Come in.  Don't just stand there.