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[Defenestration]

So, I finally got around to adding the World of Warcraft soundtracks to my playlist and properly organizing and tagging them. And man. Is that audio a trip down memory lane. When "Shadow of the Necropolis" came up, for the first time in my life I had what could only be described as a flashback. Most tangible series of memories I've ever experienced.

For me, Vanilla was definitely the highlight of my times in the game. And 40 man Naxxaramas were some of the most poignant experiences I've had in a cooperative game. A lot of hard fought and earned victories, a lot of shameful nights of failure, and just tons of good times at someone's (a lot of it my own) expense. And fuck Thaddius, he can go right to hell.

Our first night in Naxx was the most grand TPK I had ever seen. We just got our first Instructor Rasuvious kill, and while there was only a bit more time everyone was high on good feelings, so we cleared to Patchwerk for credit for that one ring quest. And somehow in ways I don't understand or remember, we bugged the shit out of the slimes. They were literally zooming around looking for blood. Somehow we fought off a horrific 4 at once, and as we were rezzing the weak, someone cried "THEY'RE COMING OUT OF THE WALLS!" And oh, they were. They literally flew through the walls like a bad horror movie, and then 40 people just disappeared under a sea of green. Then they corpse camped. I was laughing so hard I was crying.

What are your favorite memories from this game? From hanging around vent, I understand people in these parts had plenty.

[Ziiro]

This pretty much sums up the Dethecus Experience.

With the help of HarleyDavis and Wubsy, I have compiled the REAL Dethecus Bible.

MY PORTRAYAL OF BLIZZARD MODS AS BAD PEOPLE IS ENTIRELY FICTIONAL AND MEANT GOOD-NATUREDLY AND IN A HUMOROUS WAY. BLUE, PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED.


The Old Testament
The Bas Scriptures

In the beginning, there was darkness.

And Bas said, "Welcome to the World of Warcraft Realm Discussion forums! This forum is here to provide you with a friendly environment where you can discuss happenings on the Aggrarnar realm with your fellow World of Warcraft players. Community forums work best when participants treat their fellow posters with respect and courtesy. Therefore, we ask that you take the time to read through the forum Code of Conduct before posting.
http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/policy/forum-coc.html
Also, please use the search function at the top of the page to find information on a topic before you post a question. Your fellow community members will appreciate it. Have fun posting on these forums, and good luck with your adventures in Azeroth!"

And trolling began, and it was good.

Yet unto the world did come the serpent, who was called Caydiem. And the serpent said "I shall delete your posts, and strike down your prophets." But Bas replied "They shall not be stricken down, for in me there is eternal posting."

And so Angwe did come, and Bas appeared unto him, saying "With you I establish my covenant. I make you the father of nations. As thou keepest my ways, this land shall belong to you and your children, and your children's children, yea, for 2 generations, and 2 2s, and 2 2s of 2s, and 2 2s of 2 3s." And Angwee did cry out, saying "Lord, I shall surely keep this covenant!" And Angwe did gank, in accordance with the covenant, and to this day the whole of the land belongs to the gankers.

Next the great prophet came, and the prophet's name was Diabolus. And the prophet spake unto the people, saying "Those that follow me shall throw off the shackles of slavery imposed by the Horde, and I shall lead you to the promised land, where the Alliance triumphs in battlegrounds. Yet those that do not follow me shall be doomed to die in a fire." And the people, being n00bs, did not follow, and they did die in a fire - though a few took note and said "This man is truly a wise prophet, and his ways shall become my ways." And so the great prophet revealed himself to be Vir, Your Hero, and the trolls did rejoice.

But now did the serpent return to Bas and say unto him, "Your people follow you only because of all that is good in their lives. Were things bad they would forsake you." And Bas said unto the serpent "I tell you this, you may take a follower and bring unto them every plague imaginable, yet they will still follow my ways and praise me." Then did the serpent hiss, saying "I shall find one and plague him, and he shall have no skill, and no gear, and the worst guild that has ever existed, and the lowliest of the low shall look upon him with scorn and derision!" And so the serpent did seek out a follower of Bas, and upon him she did inflict every imaginable horror, and the follower's name was Sinester.





The New Testament
The Cale Scriptures

And so Bas did look upon Dethecus and see that it was good. Yet still the people of Dethecus had not learned the lessons of Bas, and so he decided that he would send his only begotten son CaleThompson to show them the way. And yet Dethecus was not ready for Cale, and so Bas said "I shall send Outbakjack to ready the way for my son." So Outbakjack the Baptist did go forth and preach the way of Bas, and the people shouted with joy, calling him the messiah. Yet Outbakjack said unto them "I tell you, I am not he, though I prepare the way. I baptize you only with frost traps, yet he will baptize you with Tigule and Foror's Strawberry Ice Cream." And the people rejoiced, and Bas, together with and through the great works of Outbakjack the Baptist and the great prophet Vir, did form < M E R C I L E S S >, and the way was prepared for the coming of CaleThompson.

And CaleThompson came, and it was good. To himself he drew his disciples:
Daurathi, the first of many. Sgykah and Ataraxia, who were brothers. Harley Magdalene, a woman of ill repute. Ser, whom he taught to be a fisher of men. Fath, who vowed to never again sully the temple of his body by sharing his mana. And there were more, many more. Thus Cale went forth and performed many miracles, and baptized the people with Tigule and Foror's Strawberry Ice Cream, and the people gathered and he taught them the gospel. "I say to you," he told them, "that we are called to gank because we love <3".

Upon an evening, as Cale was teaching at Sun Rock Retreat, Daurathi asked him Teacher, how may we enter the kingdom of heaven?" Cale replied, "When you come to my father, he will say to some of you 'Because you have killed my enemies when they were AFK, because you despawned their demons when they were questing, because you corpse-camped them for hours, you may enter into my house,' and you shall enter the kingdom of Gurubashi Arena, where my father lives." Daurathi asked again, "But when did I gank his enemies, or grief them, or corpse-camp them?" To which Cale replied "I tell you this: whatsoever you do to the lowest-level of my people, you do to my enemies."

And Cale did preach love and ganking to all. One day he came upon Qlimax, a man much maligned by the community, for he was but a Scout, and he did dine with Qlimax, and gank with him. And his disciples said unto him, Teacher, why do you dine with this man? He is but a Scout. Cale said unto them, I tell you, this man is as much a troll as any of you. Do not be swayed by his rank, for all who are trolls and gankers are welcomed into our fellowship.

One day Cale and his disciples journeyed to the temple of <Bloodlust>, and there did Cale discover Ughlee, who was taking loot from the guild bank. And Cale did drive him from the temple, saying It is written my guilds shall be guilds of ganking, but you have turned my fathers guild into a guild of thievery. And Ughlee fled the land and did not return.

And yet the serpent was not happy, and did look for a way to ban CaleThompson. And unto the serpent came a man who had masqueraded as a disciple of Cale, and his name was Ziiro. And Ziiro did go to the serpent, saying "I shall tell you when he is vulnerable."

One fateful day, when the realm of Bonechewer did attack Dethecus, Cale knew his time had come. And so, boldly, knowing that Ziiro would betray him, did he repel the attackers, with a post so vicious and so brutal that they fled in fear. But all was not well, for Ziiro did tell the serpent, and in that moment she struck Cale down, saying "This is not something we're going to tolerate." And Harley Magdalene did sob and cry.

And all of Dethecus mourned the banning of Cale, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. But upon the third day, as Harley Magdalene was bringing screenshots of dead lowbies to adorn Cales tomb, she saw Cale standing there. And Cale did return, saying "Though I am here with you forever, my ban prevents me from being with you as I once was." And so Cale sought out his most skilled disciple, saying "Go ye out to all the world, and preach the gospel to every living creature. And I tell you, whosoever you flame, I flame also. Feed my lambs." And Wubsy heard, and obeyed, and spread the Gospel of Cale through the land, with all the disciples of Cale aiding her every step. And Wubsy did become the greatest of the preachers, and all of Dethecus listened as she spoke.

And so Wubsy did preach ASCII, and to herself she drew Dior, who did preach haikus. And Dior did found an order of priests to spread the gospel, and he did call it <Months Behind>.

And even to this day is Cale still with us. For did he not say at the last posting "Whenever two or three are gathered to make n00bs QQ, I am there"? Truly I tell you he did. And to this day, the trolls and the gankers abound, and though they have formed independent sects, and even sometimes war with each other, they are all followers of the prophets and disciples, of Cale, of Bas, of < M E R C I L E S S >.

<3<3<3

EDIT: FOR THE RED, LIKE THE BLOOD CALE SHED FOR DETHECUS

Reading the whole thing from beginning to end covers a lot about what was great about Dethecus. It's also beautifully written.

[Pacobird]

So goddamn many.

Some were good, some were great, some were not so great, most of them involved people I raided with at one time or another, and almost none of them had anything to do with actually raiding or even really playing the game.  But on reflection it's safe to say that people I met through WoW were a really significant part of my life from mid-2005 to mid-2008, and while I admit I was always a little embarrassed by that and took some pains to keep that part of my life separate from the rest, I think about those long nights spent mowing through pugs with Months Behind or ripping through heroics with LB and later KVN or Remedy and some MB leftovers or spending hours, days of my life helping somebody in a video game because I couldn't listen to them talk about their life and the game and how badly they wanted a victory and not be able to resist the desire to create a little happiness for them, and I am surprised that I do not feel those three years were wasted, or that I am the poorer for having given so much of myself to people who never could have been more than what they were willing to say they were.

[Ziiro]

Any idea if modern Dethecus upholds the lessons of the Dethecus bible?

[Pacobird]

If the last two weeks I've been playing are any indication Dethecus doesn't have enough people anymore to really have any kind of culture at all, much less enough people to include a statistically significant group of clever forum trolls. 

Wubsy and Squig are still around, for whatever that's worth.

[Ziiro]

That's actually sort of tragic. The forums themselves are archived by a third party.. but who knows how long that will last? The living culture and feel of the server appears lost and scattered to time and memory. The Dethecus bible is truly an interesting artifact of a time long past then. There's also a collection of Angwe's screenshots that seem to have a new host every time I search for them.

Here's a current archive.

Beyond this, all we have is the stories such as Malvado face pulling Lucifron + Imps + Core Hounds. And historically meaningful to few phrases, such as "Ughlee Numbah wunnnnn"

[Ziiro]

Gem found on the archive:

<Months Behind>- Well well, what do we have here. I haven’t seen a guild bring up so much self-induced hysteria in a long time. All these “ANOTHER FINE THREAD ABOUT MONTHS BEHIND” posts is starting to get ridiculous. The “omg more tranny pix plz” was funny for about a week, it’s old now, get over it. All of your supposed greatness that you engulf yourself and fellow members of Dethecus in is just flat out dull. You haven’t done anything that any other guild way before you hasn’t. So get over yourself you’re not that big of a deal. It’s like the kid who got perfect grades in his Hick-nobody town and trying to go to school with the real genius’. You’re like Doom 3, a lot of hype for a lot of linier actions and game play. Come up with something original other than picking up on different acronyms that you can add different letters to. “OMG I’M SO KOOL TBHQ TO BE QUITE HONOEST, IT USE TO BE TO BE HONOEST. I’M SUCH A TREND SETTER” interesting to say the least. I could go on, but it’s getting late and I’m done talking about such trash.

Interestingly, the archive definitely has that sort of "Lost history" feel. What with the numerous missing pages, out of order forum and just havoc in sorting in general. Some things are truly lost.

Then again I guess most pages of Dethecus threads only had 5 of the usual 20 posts, what with most of them being deleted due to obscenity and all.

[Bal]

I wonder if the post where I made Kilthor quit the vanilla is archived there.

Remember when we (You, Rico, Moobaca, myself) tried to offer a little bit of happiness to KVN, Paco, and Kilthor's ego instantly ended it? Good times.

I honestly have fantastic memories of that server going all the way through the end of Wrath, but the best are definitely back in vanilla when everything was just screwed up enough to be weird and fun, and the community of the server was known far and wide as the most wretched hive of scum and villainy. Marvelous.

[Ziiro]

I wish I hadn't left. Yeah, I met some good friends on CC, and I brought Dethecus with me to the servers where I went (Purge pull) but I still wish I had stuck around.

[Pacobird]

Remember when we (You, Rico, Moobaca, myself) tried to offer a little bit of happiness to KVN, Paco, and Kilthor's ego instantly ended it? Good times.

Actually, I spent the better part of BC in KVN trying to help out, to varying levels of success.  It ultimately didn't really amount to much but I'm happy to say some Actual Friendships came out of it and I still keep up with people who've long since moved on.  I was just talking with Morvelyn the other day, and I really wish I had some contact info for Sgykah and Zaii.

Kilthor got way less lame by early 2008.  We joint-led/tanked some Zul'Amans, almost got some bears in Karazhan/badge gear, and generally had a great time.

[Bal]

Apparently being an awful human being was a byproduct of not playing paladin. I spoke to Morvelyn when Noro told me you were trying to get in contact with Zaii and Sgykah. She's apparently she's running, or was running, a top tier guild. Bully for her, says I. My memories of Kilthor, however, will always be of an insufferable bag of twats.

[Pacobird]

Yeah, she and some other people (Crixus and Genner, for sure; I don't know who else) remade KVN on Black Dragonflight.  They're on Heroic Ragnaros, but I'm pretty sure she said they weren't actually putting in anything resembling serious attempts.

I'm considering transferring if 4.3 ends up with as underwhelming an ORDER/LB wave of resubs as I expect; they aren't the only people I know who still play WoW but they're the only ones I've played with.

[Bal]

I don't think any of the old Dethecus crew is resubbing. Not even for the expansion. We all played from launch and, at least speaking for myself, I've just had enough WoW for this life.

[Rico]

The concept of Genner doing heroic Ragnaros years later is very amusing to me.

[Norondor]

Worth reading for dethecites (also thistledown players but who besides me ever spent time on AC)

[sei]

So goddamn many.

"sei, it's 2 fucking 30 in the god damn morning!"?

[Rico]

Pretty sure we did it at 2:30 in beta

[Pacobird]

That was an important moment of clarity about what it means to truly be getting too old for this shit.

[zaii]

I was playing Diablo last night, then trolled someone this AM...  got me reminiscing about Dethecus and I ended up here.  Who all is on here?  Sgykah and I are stil together, about six years now--and always have the best "how we met" story.  He's a third year med student and I'm an attorney.  I'll tell him to pop on and say hi.  We talk about Dethecus days rather often, and haven't really found anything that compares since. 

xoxo

zaii

[Ocksi]

You'll find a few of us still floating around here. Glad to hear y'all are still doing well!