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Poll

How shall I go about this?

Just play normally, with a party of godlike twinked-out characters. Explain the game's underpinnings at length.
- 2 (7.7%)
Use your random-named mooks the whole time -- No named story characters!
- 4 (15.4%)
Use just story characters, and no random-named mooks.
- 1 (3.8%)
Use random-named mooks and story characters, but take votes on how to spec each one. Fail utterly thanks to troll votes.
- 3 (11.5%)
Monster challenge: use recruitable monsters and Ramza in a support role. Explain monsters at length.
- 9 (34.6%)
Dumb As a Rock challenge: Spec characters however, but set them to only use AI on every battle!
- 5 (19.2%)
Single-character challenge: use only Ramza!
- 2 (7.7%)

Total Members Voted: 14


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Author Topic: Lay down your arms or die clutching them! Let's Play Final Fantasy Tactics!  (Read 20151 times)

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R^2

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Surprisingly roomy for a prison cell.



Slash! Hack! Cut! Scream!



Hack! Cut! Scream!



Rend! Disembowel! Arrgh!



You can't hear the sound effects but there is some seriously gory stuff going on just off-camera. It's almost like a couple gigantic magical demon-beasts are murdering every single soldier and resident in this castle.






Either a giant ram or a giant <spoiler>.


Well, rams don't have the aforementioned fangs and claws, so...




There certainly is.







Slash! Cut! Smash! Scream! Magic! Blarrg!





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R^2

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Are you ready for the dullest battle to LP in the game?


There's no way to make this fight exciting.






Don't let the setup fool you.






























So here's the deal. Wiegraf is back, in all his White Knight glory. He still has Magic Sword abilities like Agrias and Delita did, and still won't use them because he thinks I absorb them. He instead falls back on his martial arts training, using Monk skills against me -- namely Aurablast and Shockwave.


For which I wear a shield and a cape.


I buff up my Bravery, to make sure that each time he does land a hit, Mana Shield triggers to drain my MP instead of my HP. (Mana Shield has Bravery% chance of activating each time I'm hit, like most Counter skills.)




Wiegraf lands an Aurablast. The purple numbers indicate I've lost MP instead of HP.


I then take a few steps to restore my MP via Manafont. See how it works?
I Tailwind myself, approximately 42 times. Eventually I'm getting to move twice or even three times between Wiegraf's turns, meaning I never run out of MP to absorb his hits and can easily take several Move actions to get out of his attack range entirely.


That's the stuff. Time to switch to Focus.


A lot.


Yep.


Wiegraf also has Counter, which will bypass Mana Shield and hurt me directly. I'd rather that not happen, so I make sure to oneshot him.














"Wow, really? No one ever actually comes back out when I say that."


"Oh."


































"You still talk funny."


Those are Archaeodemons, which only show up in special battles like this one. They can't be Enticed or Poached, and have a Dark Arts skillset that causes lots of damage and status ailments via powerful spells.


Since we didn't go back to a party setup screen, all my previous buffs to Brave, Speed, and PA are still in effect. So before Belias can move even once...








My one Arts of War skill, picked up via a crystal long ago, is Rend MP.






Belias likes to use Summon magic, you see, especially the Cyclops spell that does crazy non-elemental damage. So I'm stopping him.








I'm gonna be honest here. I have never seen Belias just straight up punch a dude before. He's really out of options.


He's still the Gigas, though, and getting punched in the Cock(atrice) hurts. Dr. Feathers comes up to do his share.


I spend several turns bumping up Dr. Feather's Bravery. What else am I gonna do, kill the monster myself? What are these chocobos for, then?






GIGAPUNCH


Bravery factors directly into physical attacks, so Dr. Feathers is getting stronger every turn I have.






GIGAPUNCH


Good job, doc.




GIGAPUNCH




Mostly giant birds, really.



















A scream!




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Disposable Ninja

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God damn. This is where I got stuck and stopped playing myself, and you just trounced that dude. With monsters.
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R^2

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To be fair, anytime you have a guy with 50 Speed and 50 PA, the battle is yours to play around with.
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R^2

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"This isn't the cafeteria."




No one here had Tailwind, apparently.




FLAGRANT LIES




FLAGRANT LIES

Isilud: Your brother... tell him for me. The auracite... a foul work. Evil... My father... nay, that was no longer... my father. Transformed by the... auracite. One of the Lucavi!

At this point Isilud coughs up an impressive spray of blood, all told.




Isilud: R2 was right... It must be stopped. It could destroy... all of Ivalice. Such power... You must tell them. Tell them all. They must cease their fighting. Together they must face a... greater threat.


FLAGRANT LIES

Alma: My brother slew it. It is done.
Isilud: It is dead? Slain? Then I might rest... In my doublet. There is a piece of auracite. You must give it to your... your brother for me.


























Formalv pauses and looks upward as there is a distant, monstrous groan.


"He didn't even do a single HP of damage to R2, either."




I guess this is a change of plans. He was going to kill Alma until he realized he still needs her to manipulate R2.

But as he draws close...













Vormalv: Do not worry, your life is safe. Now, come!






The "off" switch for every young woman in Ivalice is right above the navel, but it takes a lot of pressure to hit it. One good punch and they fold right up for easy transport, though.






Alma drops the stone Ilisud gave her as Vormalv teleports her out.

I'm taken to my party setup, where...

That's a lot of JP.






Enough to buy every skill, with several hundred to spare.




This next fight demands speed and mobility over all else, though. Ninja it is.


Shame I forgot to pick up any ninja swords on the way in. We're going all-out offense, so the Green Beret is +1 Speed, the Power Garb +2 PA, and the Germinas Boots give a little extra move. Last thing I need is for my teleport to fail because I tried to go too far.


All my fastest monsters, including two fliers. But I can only bring three. ::(:

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R^2

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Hey, it's Grand Duke Barrington. You'd think he'd be on the top of the list of people Formalv wanted to murder here. Maybe he's faster than he looks.

Barrington: You owe me your life, you ungrateful wretch! You would not stand here today were it not for me!


Rapha: Shortly after you murdered my mother and father and everybody else! It is not with -betrayal- I repay your deeds! It is with -vengeance-!


Rapha, you're a Skyseer. A magic-user. Put that sword down before you hurt yourself.


Only in a cutscene is that a threat. In battle that gun would do like 64 damage, tops. Even Rapha can soak that.














OKAY WE GET IT BARRINGTON IS A PEDOPHILE RAPIST CREEP












pkang










Barrington: If you wish to help your brother, Rapha, bring me the auracite he carries. It should be on his person. Check his robes.


Hey, who's that behind him?








Duke Barrington: Latest on the list of villains that die unfought.




Fun fact: Marquis Elmdore was reported dead in the Chronicle, killed by a stray arrow during the war.

Anyway, Rapha stuffs the Zodiac stones Marach had into her clothes.




A breeze catches Elmdore's hair and coat.


In the original translation, he says outright that the feeling is like that of Cuchulainn and Balias.




After we shunted his presumably-unconscious body back to Eagrose after rescuing him in the Sand Rat's Seitch, R2 never saw him again. That's the only thing I can think of that Elmdore would thank R2 for; he's largely uninvolved in the scheming and power-grabs we've been a part of. There was that meeting at the beginning of Chapter 3, but we had nothing to do with that. :shrug:




Fun fact: Elmdore wields the katana Muramasa, which has a reputation in Japanese culture as loving to see blood spilt needlessly.


Elmdore: Mayhap I did not make myself clear. I would have the Stone, if you would speak more of that.
R2: I cannot let worry sway me. It must not go to him.
Elmdore: An adoring brother you must be, to trade your sister for a stone! After all you've faced in coming here, you leave her to her fate?
R2: I have no words for you.
Elmdore: Indeed, it seems the time for words is past. Celia, Lettie! The girl carries the auracite. Take it from her corpse.

Well it's gonna be a rough battle with Elmdore and his two hoochie assassins but we should be okay if we jus--


God. Dammit.


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R^2

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Assassin is a job unavailable to players, only these two have it. Subdual arts has four skills: One causes Charm ("Allure" in the previous translation), one Stop ("Shadow Stitch"), one Dead ("Suffocate" or "Stop Breath"). All of those have 100% accuracy and no charge time, and all but Suffocate work at range. They also know the spell Ultima, but more on that in a few battles.

Also check it out, they're wearing headgear in their accessories slot. Cheaters.


Elmdore's Ark Knight class is pretty much the same as a Samurai, except apparently they can wear robes.

Since the girls have 100% accuracy cause-death moves, it is entirely possible for one of them to go first, stroll nonchalantly up to Rapha, and Suffocate her. They also dual-wield, so they can just chop her to bits, too. It's important to be faster than they are, just so you can give them additional targets so they don't KO Rapha right off.




As a Ninja, I dual-wield, too.






Elmdore holds up a masterfully-crafted katana, releasing the spirit forged into the blade. We haven't seen Samurai yet, but that's how they work.
























Whew.
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Classic

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R^2, just know that your suffering is incomplete unless you also get Ultima at the next opportunity. It's going to be an Ultima shaped stain on your LP.
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R^2

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LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I GIVE

Suddenly, that ear-splitting whine of a Zodiac Stone calling out. We heard it before, right before Wiegraf's Aires stone started talking to him.




















DAMMIT RAPHA


















Maybe he's not a Lucavi but he's ALIVE AND THAT IS JUST AS BAD GOD YOU TWO






From hell to marshmallow hell.












The answer is rapidly reaching room temperature behind you.


"...oh."















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R^2

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To my knowledge you can't get Ultima until Chapter 4, but I intend to do so next time I see the Assassins.
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R^2

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R2: No, she's not here.
Marach: They had her in the castle, I'm sure of it. They must have taken her elsewhere during the fighting. Three men from the templarate arrived not long after you. Three and no more.
R2: One became a Lucavi. I killed him myself. Another, Isilud, was slain in the melee. This third must have taken Alma.
Marach: No doubt he means to bring her to Mullonde. Mullonde is the seat of the Church's power, and they act in High Confessor Marcel's name. Where else would he go?
R2: I wonder. I do not think their High Confessor knows the true power of the Stones. Consider this. Wiegraf did not know their secret until he had struck his bargain with Belias. And by the look of things, Isilud died fighting the Lucavi.
Marach: What are you getting at?
R2: By inciting this war, the Church hopes to broaden its power. Clearly this is the High Confessor's ambition. But he only wants the Zodiac Stones for their symbolic power. To sway the minds of the people.
Marach: Do you imply that someone is using the High Confessor's ambition to some other purpose?
Rapha: This third man in the templarate's party. Who is he?
Marach: I cannot say for sure, but I believe it was Lord Folmarv, commander of the Knights Templar.
R2: He is the key.
Marach: What will you do?
R2: I travel to Zeltennia. Delita is there, and I must see him.
Marach: He succeeded Baron Grimms in leading the Blackram Knights, did he not?
R2: The Church and the Knights Templar manipulate Delita from behind the scenes. With luck, he can shed some light on who this Lord Folmarv is, and what he wants.

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R^2

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If the Order of the Northern Sky is massing an attack on Fort Besselat, shouldn't you... uh, be there?






Orlandeau: None good, as you know well enough. War is a dirty enough affair when you know who your enemies are, but this... ha! Would my good name were our only casualty.
Orran: I should think Duke Goltanna's name in greater peril. They say his other lords bannermen remain here only because you do.
Orlandeau: Leave such foolish talk to fools. When a member of House Orlandeau pledges his lord fealty, he honors that oath, though it cost him his life.
Orran: I'm sorry. I spoke overmuch.
Orlandeau: Words are wind. Now, this errand I set you to. I would hear of it.
Orran: The reports are true, my lord. The crystal discovered beneath Goug, the Stone the late cardinal found in the ruins of Zeltennia -- both auracite for true, by all accounts. The Knights Templarate, too, are passing busy, though the object of their labors I cannot say.
Orlandeau: Do our ears in Mullonde hear nothing?
Orran: Hear perhaps, but dead men tell no tales. If only we had some evidence of the High Confessor's plot, we might use it to compel a peace.


The stone Orlandeau holds glimmers, of course, but I missed it. Of course.



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R^2

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Chapter 4 unlocks a new Squire skill, like Chapter 2 did.


Being an MA boost, I wholly intend to get it and use it to increase the accuracy of my Speechcraft.
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Classic

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To my knowledge you can't get Ultima until Chapter 4, but I intend to do so next time I see the Assassins.
I thought you could get it in the last battle of Chapter 3, and I seem to recall successfully doing so. But my memory could be playing tricks on me.

EDIT:
By the way, I don't recall you told us which patch you're using?
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Friday

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In order to get it you have to be hit by Ultima. The girls don't cast it until they transform (into their far, far, far less dangerous demon forms).
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Beat Bandit

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There's no way to make this fight exciting.
If you wanna' go for really exciting, you should've silenced velibeliusasasus. It took about five tries for me to realize that's why he kept just shouting fuck you and spamming seal.
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R^2

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Guys I promise I will learn Ultima the moment I get to Limberry and see the assassins again okay? I'll talk about everything there is to know about it at that part of the LP.
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R^2

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Now that I'm about ten levels ahead of my monsters, thanks to all that thrashing around in the duel with Wiegraf, it's time to take a break and do some breeding.


And thin the herd a little.


Eventually I earn four extraneous Plague Horrors for my trouble, so I go into a random encounter...








And treacherously backstab each one of them to send their hides to the Poacher's Den. That map is Bervenia Volcano, by the way -- you can tell from all the laval -- which appears between Riovanes, Fovoham Windflats, and Zeklaus Desert in Chapter 4.


Not that you can tell from the map, but I'm in Dorter.




The Poacher's Den only stocks items that are made of the monsters you, personally, have sent it. Each monster has a "common" and "rare" poach item. Commons are usually the stuff you can find in shops, like these shuriken (but are sold half-price because you supplied the materials for their construction). Rare items are usually also things you can only find in shops, but occasionally a monster has a good drop. None of my Plague Horrors got turned into the good item, though.



I mention this fight only because:


I meet the last member of the Bomb line here. Spark is an area-effect centered on the user that attacks with spreading flames -- it hurts anyone nearby but heals the Exploder (and any other fire-absorbing creatures). They're still too slow and too weak to use, having been outclassed long ago.


It also gave me enough JP to afford Shout.


I'm back, baby.


I remembered the Materia Blade being stronger than it is (it's base attack power 10, already outclassed by the stuff in shops), so I came back for it. This is the only place in the game to get one.




Undocumented feature of blue dragons. In a pinch, they can heal each other.


Back to Goug.


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Disposable Ninja

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... you're a god damn monster is what you are.
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R^2

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If you were wondering why I kept Mustadio around this long, this is why. If he's not in your party, these cutscenes don't play and a string of sidequests cannot open.


Besrudio: I'd though to disassemble it, but I haven't the slightest inkling of how to begin.
Mustadio: An iron sphere... curious.










"And by peculiar, I mean it's a Zodiac sign. It responds to auracite and has a sign engraved on it. You figure it out, kids, I'm going to go have a lie down."

So I go to Gollund on COMPLETELY UNRELATED BUSINESS


I'd meant to feature the Pub rumors a bit more heavily in this LP, but they further explain plot points that actually get described in the main storyline in a sensible manner, so it seemed redundant. I'm used to the old translation, where you can only get some idea of what's going on in the world through Rumors and the Chronicle. Anyway, Gollund has a rumor no other city does, concerning the locals:



Guess I'll head up to Lesalia.






Tavernmaster: Ha! I like you already. I've not had a customer order milk before. You've seen your share of battle, have you not? Most men as live that sort of life come wanting spirits.








"I can, but mostly I'd really like a glass of milk."


Tavernmaster: A man of honor, are we? Few enough of those these days. If only Lord Barbaneth were still alive! He'd do something about it.

"He might give me a glass of milk."






"And not to press a point, but I'm still looking for a drink."

Tavernmaster: Gods be with you, then.




Beowulf: I pursue the Holy Dragon of which they speak. It has been my purpose for many a year. My knowledge of her would surely be a boon. What say you?


You have a choice, and somewhat cruelly, the default option is the one telling him no.




That is certainly a red dot.








I like these battles. They're easy to describe, because there's no plot-driving conversation.


There are, however five -- count 'em, five -- Chemists. Each with a Mythril Gun, a cloak, and the ability to toss around an infinite number of X-Potions.


And bloodlust for Black Chocobo. Three turns, three bullets.






It begins.






The cloaks are a bothersome detail as well.


Teleport: Still awesome.








pkang pkang pkang


Beowulf unsheathes his magic sword skills...


...and drains a little MP from a Chemist. Uh.


STOP DOING THAT




STOP DOING THAT, TOO


BEOWULF ALSO STOP THAT IS NOT HELPING


Progress!


Every Chemist felled is one fewer X-Potion quaffed.


This guy had Auto-Potion.


Pkang! Beowulf, full of MP but lacking in HP, goes down.


No more chocobos. Again.






Straight to party setup. There's another battle coming.


Pretty good MA for a fighter-class, huh?






This is an uphill map, with two Thieves, a Behemoth and a King Behemoth, and a Chemist.


When the Chemist fires his gun, I'm struck with an ice spell.

Quote
MINE.


...in a roundabout way.


Meet the Behemoth, the latest in the line of "slow but strong" monsters. They have phenominal HP and PA, and their MA is often through the roof. Their only two skills, regardless of behemoth breed, are "Gore" and "Heave". Heave does slightly less damage and has no vertical range, but has a chance to KO the target.
For most of the series since their debut in Final Fantasy 2, Behemoths have been counterattack specialists. Hit them with an attack, and they counter. Hit them with magic, and they counter with (usually stronger, often Meteor) magic. But that didn't translate here: They have just plain ol' Counter. Surprising no one, they cannot enter water.


I didn't get the screencap, but my Ahriman had just blinded this Thief with Bewitching Gaze. The Thief turned around and critted the Ahriman. Time well spent!


The Chemist I just convinced to join my party attacks!


This is a King Behemoth. The only visible difference is their higher HP and PA. And, uh, color scheme.






Lots of lucky procs on Entice this fight.


It's seven on one, man. Good choice to try and turn the tide, but it's kind of pointless anyway.


"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."


He does not refuse.




Glacial Gun (fires Blizzard, sometimes Blizzara or even Blizzaga). Thief's Cap (+2 Speed, immune: Immobilize and Disable). Black Garb (+100 HP, equal to the best heavy armor in shops right now, immune: Stop).


Air Knife (best knife ever sold in shops, I think). Another Thief's Hat and Black Garb.


New monster.



Pretty good haul, all told.
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