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[the asshole you hate]

Dodge THIS! 3
(game 1)
(game 2)

Rules
1) Do stuff.
2) I roll a die and tell you what happens.

If something is coming to hit you, even if it's not your turn, you'll get a roll to dodge it. You lose if you die. You win if all the other players have lost (though feel free to cooperate).

Updates will happen randomly, resolving any outstanding actions players have taken. Anyone can join. You can post one action per update post you get.

Special actions:
- Taking note of your surroundings does not require a roll.
- When you join the game you (and several others) are sitting at the beach enjoying a sunburn and a martini. The martini is poisoned and you'll die in five actions if you don't do something about it!

Restrictions:
 - Any action impossible without an intermediate action will automatically fail, regardless of the roll. (Example: Trying to walk when you are laying on the floor without standing first.)
 - You cannot take the same action twice in a row.
 - Only the first thing in a compound action will be used. (Example: "I get the shirt and I put it on" will be resolved as "I get the shirt".)
 - If multiple actions are submitted before the turn is resolved, only the first action will be used.

Rolls are on a normal die with six sides. The higher the roll, the more successful the action was. The more ambitious the activity is, the more spectacular the successes and the more dire the consequences of failure.

1 - Epic failure. (Opposite of original intention occurs.)
2 - Failure.
3 - Marginal success.
4 - Success.
5 - Perfect success.
6 - Overshot.

The more extreme the action, the more extreme the results - including consequences.

There is virtually no limit to what you can do. Don't go too crazy, though; you have a 50% chance of something going wrong, and a 3 might be the only thing that saves your life in some cases, such as turning into Godzilla.

Sign up by posting an action.

[Beat Bandit]

I make the first response post of this thread.

[Misha]

I turn into godzilla.

[Friday]

I throw my martini into Brentai's face.

[Caithness]

I induce vomiting.

[Niku]

I get eaten by a dragon.

:WENEEDABIGGERSMUG:

[Esperath]

I zergrush Friday kekekekeke.

[Angry Beaver]

I observe my surroundings.

[McDohl]

I activate my Science Machine.

[the asshole you hate]

Rolling:... Please Wait ... Please Wait... ...please wait loading loading loading

I make the first response post of this thread.

6 - You made the thread and become the DM.

I turn into godzilla.

5 - Ladies and gentlemen, it's a giant lizard! Run for your lives! GODZILLA IS ATTACKING!!

I throw my martini into Brentai's face.

5 -

I induce vomiting.

I get eaten by a dragon.

:WENEEDABIGGERSMUG:

I zergrush Friday kekekekeke.

I observe my surroundings.

I activate my Science Machine.

[Brentai]

I slowly realize that somebody has thrown a martini into my face.

[Beat Bandit]

Rolling:... Please Wait ... Please Wait... ...please wait loading loading loading

I make the first response post of this thread.

6 - You made the thread and become the DM.

Becoming Guild, I take a week to respond.

I throw my martini into Brentai's face.

5 - "Enough talk, HAVE AT YOU"

Dodge Roll
Brentai - 3 - The glass slips past. The martini, however, splashes in your face.

I induce vomiting.

4 - You gain +1 to attractiveness.

I get eaten by a dragon.

:WENEEDABIGGERSMUG:

5 - A dragon bursts out of the ocean and... eats you.

Dodge Roll
Niku - 6 - You deftly dodge out from the dragon's stomach, and roll into his intestinal tract. Unfortunately dragons don't have anuses and you find yourself trapped.

I zergrush Friday kekekekeke.

2 - YOU MUST SPAWN MORE OVERLORDS

I observe my surroundings.

You're in a lawnchair even though you're on the beach. There are others all over the beach, some in chairs and some not. All you can see in the distance is sand and water for miles, along with a few giant lizards doing some frightening things.

I activate my Science Machine.

You have no machine (possibly no science)

I slowly realize that somebody has thrown a martini into my face.

1 - OH MY GOD YOUR ASS IS ON FIRE!

Dodge Roll
Brentai - 2 - Everyone watches you run around screaming about your ass. No one notices a difference.

[Niku]

I tear the dragon a new asshole.

Literally.

[Caithness]

I use my newfound attractiveness to attract a sexy dermatologist to treat my sunburn.

[Brentai]

I learn to use my flaming ass and gain fantastic ass-flamethrower powers.

[McDohl]

I invent all new science to build a Science Machine.

[Esperath]

I SPAWN MORE OVERLORDS

[Lottel]

I PLAY THE GAME

[Misha]

I destroy tokyo

[Beat Bandit]

I tear the dragon a new asshole.

Literally.

5 - You wade through all the adventurers and princesses in the dragon's waste pit and clench on to the side of one of the fleshy walls. RIP AND TEARing, instead of a horrid bloody mess it produces a fully functional anus. The dragon unable to control it; you, along with a thousand years of poop, pour out.

DODGE THE POOP!

Niku - 4 - Your fall is broken by the remains of a particularly fat princess.

Misha - 4 - You watch in abject horror.

Friday - 3 - eeewwwww

Caithness - 2 - A large dropping hits you directly on the head. While considering your misfortune a rusted sword hits the same spot. -1 Attractiveness.

Esperath - 5 - You avoid all excrement and find useful minerals in some of the larger piles.

Angry Beaver - 6 - You dig a hole to hide in. Though no poop hits you you are now buried under it and sand.

McDohl - 5 - Watching the creation of an anus and fall patterns of its droppings helps you better understand the beast. +1 biology +1 nature.

Brentai - 1 - Poop falls on you and extinguishes the fire. It also kills you. You Are Dead

I use my newfound attractiveness to attract a sexy dermatologist to treat my sunburn.

6 - "Oh man, your body spanning sunburn and grievous head wound turn me on so much. So you're into that?" Your new doctor friend smiles and waves around a scalpel and that pricker thing they use to test allergies.

DODGE THE CRAZY BITCH
Caithness - 3 - You'll never be able to forget that experience. Fortunately, after she gives you some aloe vera.

I learn to use my flaming ass and gain fantastic ass-flamethrower powers.

1 - Your final expulsion of waste proves incredibly flammable, causing the vast majority of your corpse's midsection to explode.

I invent all new science to build a Science Machine.

2 - Your biology mastery does nothing to help in this situation. Your dragon-poop-uter has no known use.

I SPAWN MORE OVERLORDS

3 - You have created additional pylons.

I PLAY THE GAME

3 - Immediately after standing from your chair, you approach Friday and tell her how pretty her hair would be if she used a better conditioner and didn't have poop in it before offering to buy her another drink.

I destroy tokyo

6 - You do a full sweep of the planet just for good measure, ending with the beach you started at.

DODGEZILLA

Niku - 6 - Knowing only you can prevent Godzilla from destroying everyone, you summon Mothra to do battle.

THAT'S A LOT OF DODGING

Friday - 1 - Something that is almost a dragon eats you. You Are Dead

Caithness - 5 - Freshly coated in a minty lather, all blows slip right off you. +5 slickness for 2 turns.

Esperath - 5 - You put a plasma shield up in time to defend from flame and moth-rays.

Angry Beaver - 2 - Mothra teaches you how good a shield sand and feces makes against a giant moth (not very). You are totally crushed and unable to move. You will be dead after the next turn.

McDohl - 2 - The pooputer explodes in your face. The decrepit waste ruins your immune system and speeds up the poison by 2 turns.

Lottel - 3 - You survive unscathed, but your best bet at hooking up was killed before your very eyes. -1 psyche.


Dead List -

Brentai
Friday