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[Friday]

Personally, what I've always taken away from it is that Ness was the destined child and was going to destroy Giygas, but then Porky/Pokey fucked that up by helping Giygas. As he said, the Apple of Enlightenment couldn't predict him. Since the prophecy is now out the window, victory had to come from an unexpected source.

[Stush]

So was pokey being controlled by giygas? Or does it just turn out that your asshole next door neighbour is an evil mastermind who wants to destroy the world?

[McDohl]

Revolver Ocelot sez:

"Buy the sequel!"

[R^2]

So was pokey being controlled by giygas? Or does it just turn out that your asshole next door neighbour is an evil mastermind who wants to destroy the world?

Long-debated point. Giygas's influence undoubtedly shaped Porky's upbringing -- the Mani Mani statue was buried under his house -- but so did his clearly wretched and terrible parents. By the end of the game, Giygas isn't a mastermind anymore; he's lost all control of himself and is basically pure id, so Porky may well have taken over command of the alien forces by then, by proxy or not.

And yeah, Porky's the one to bail out when Giygas is unexpectedly defeated by a Spirit Bomb from the future. Whether it's a leader leaving to regroup while his second-in-command takes the brunt of the assault or an assistant bailing when his boss is beaten is kind of irrelevant, given the events of the next game.

[Classic]

I guess I'd better get my ass in gear and finish that.
I keep getting wiped at the fire level.

[R^2]

Because I Love You: Earthbound Music


This is Shit talking, by the way.


Guess that didn't really need explaining.


Let me demonstrate a strange power before I go. I realized this power as a child. PSI Farewell! Now! I'll see you again someday!










Presents drop from the sky.






It was great hanging out with you guys. It really was. I'm glad that I had the chance to use some of the theories that I have been studying so hard. It's remarkable.
.....
If...
Just maybe...
Well, if you two get hitched someday, maybe I'll be the one to fix your broken electronic appliances.

I can see it now. "It plays DVDs again, and also fires death rays. I'd keep the cat off of it if I were you."

I'm going to stay here for a while and see if I can learn more from Dr. Andonuts. I mean, from my dad. ...So it looks like this is good bye for now, my friends.




Oddly, she says this whether you agree or decline.






Shit's strange power was... delivering the mail?

[R^2]

You are now free to explore the world you saved. All enemy encounters are gone, and the music is the aforelinked "Because I Love You" everywhere.


No trippy sequence this time.


Since I didn't triple the length of this LP by talking to all the NPCs before and after every script change, there's probably some stuff that we'll see that could have been posted much earlier in the game. Most of Fourside reacts to Monotoli's fall from power, for instance. Oh well.


Funky fresh beats.


Barley tea!




This isn't just Mr. Saturns being weird. The Japanese phrase here was "Invention is the father of necessity". He's talking about building the Phase Distorter.












Mr. Saturns are great and I wish they were in more games.

[R^2]

I'm not sure what for, but congratulations on a job well done! If we ever have the chance to get together again, let's go on a picnic or something. Maybe we could play horseshoes, too!

Apple Kid is still calculating the odds of success, even though we already won. He didn't get a new line in the ending for some reason.


A miracle that has only happened because of your great courage! ...Believe me, I went through a lifetime's worth of stress while you were gone... I just wish I could have come with you as a robot. I should have used the Phase Distorter. What a story that would have been... "Scientist and four kids save the world!" Wah ha ha ha ha!




See? No random encounters.

[R^2]

Threed has some nice open areas to use Teleport in, so...


I completely missed the Tenda Chief's speech about giving back "Overcoming Shyness". Oops.




Again, no trippy sequence.


Trudging through Deep Darkness no longer saps your health. Aliens are directly responsible for drowning?


007 isn't in the party anymore to offer to check if the helicopter is repairable.


Yeah, I meant to use it on Heavily Armed Porky, but forgot to. I'm so bad at LPs you guys. Anyway, the Monkey's Love summons a tiny primate to pin down the enemy in a tiny primate grapple, and I rather like the idea of using such an ability on a giant spidery alien death machine. Feel the power of macaque!


If you'd let this guy pay your doctor bills earlier in the game, he announces now that your dad contacted him and wired him the money to pay off your debt. So you never need to pay your hospital bills here.

Off to the next locale.




Oh! My foreign language skills worked!






I thought "philosophy" was the study of stones. I now realize it's about studying all night... ...What? It's not?

A Japanese pun, translated directly.




A... are you the Apple of Enlightenment?


"A regular boy suffering from crippling post-traumatic stress and a justified phobia of department stores."


No one could fight the evil entity, except you.

I assume he's talking to Gufin.

We are proud. We are happy.


But I'm impressed! You did so well for one who hasn't had much training.

Yeah, while you were sitting on mountaintops getting mindraped by ghosts I was smacking hippies and zombies around with a baseball bat. Guess I didn't need any more "training" than that.

Dick.

[R^2]

A melancholy farewell from an unused gameplay mechanic.


But now I don't know why I did.


Huh?






I cannot believe you made it back alive.

[R^2]

I can hardly believe that people actually eat it!

I can't believe people actually get enough fins to make soup out of.

And yet, I've heard that it's a gourmet dish. I just don't get it!




in the exciting field of archaeology?




I see what you completely unintentionally did there.




It still says "Club Stoic" over the door! Why do you people insist on making it so hard for me to get in?! Why would you even have a truck stop in a south-Europe tourist town?! Fuck it, I'm calling for a reservation like I did before.


Yeah, we're a new truck stop... we just opened... What that? The Stoic Club?! That lame old place shut down ages ago! We totally remodeled the place! Now we've got loud music, great food, and really rowdy crowds... Listen, buddy, I'm too busy to talk to you right now! Just drop by anytime! You come, you enjoy... I promise!
Click! Beep-beep-beep...

Oh.

That doesn't sound like a truck stop, though. Especially the bit about not allowing minors in.

Oh.

Oh.

Ohhhhhh.


Our delivery man got tired and quit. So, we decided to close the shop. Thank you for consistently using us for all of your pizza needs.




Hunh? This is Snes? Tracy's big brother? I've heard about the great work you're doing. It's an honor to talk to you, sir! Oh, you're calling for a delivery? I'm very sorry. My wife is out on maternity leave, so I'm taking care of my other kid. I decided to take some time off from the delivery business. It's right next to the fridge! Put it into the microwave... ...that's it. ...Sorry about that. I'm a little busy now, as you heard. I really would like to hear some of your stories. Zoicks! That was the dog's food! *crash!* Hey, hey! Now look what you've done! ...I'm sorry. I have to go. Good bye. (Click!)

Well. I suppose I should let mom know what's going on.


Oh, thank heavens! You did it and you're safe! I'm not exactly sure what you did, but... Anyway, if you come home quick, I'll make some Brains. Get here as soon as you can. I can't wait to see your bright and shining face! Click! Beep-beep-beep...

[R^2]

The two of them may be able to develop a new scientific theory.

Something about a giant pink thing with a giant fang-filled mouth and a rubber bird toy on its head, I suspect.

You've helped make a beautiful life for everyone...


Well, you're a bit one-dimensional, as a character.


...No, I know you wouldn't do that. If you see 007, please, please ask him to call Tony. Thanks!

Actually, that reminds me.



(Dear 007,
Everything's really going great here. I wish I could have gone with you on your adventure, even just part of the way, but instead I'm sitting here, waiting for you in Winters. I want to see you again as soon as possible. I can't wait to see your cheerful face. I bet your glasses are dirty... If you come back, I'll clean them for you! Like I said, I'm waiting for you.
Yours truly,
Tony

P.S. Don't show this letter to anyone!)

And from the kids...

(Dear Gufin,
How are you doing?
I'm fine.
I fine too!
So are me!
Me also!
Me okay.
Please come and play with us again at the Polestar Preschool. Oh yeah, one more thing, bring us some presents ...if you have any.
Sincerely,
Your friends at the Polestar Preschool)

And from mom...

(Dear Snes,
How are you? Since you left home on your journey, things have changed around here. For example, I don't have as much laundry. Also, we don't seem to eat as much as we used to. I heard that you defeated some universal evil character --what was it, Googi, or something like that? Well, that sounds really great! I want to hear all the details, so hurry home, okay? Tracy, and I are waiting for you.
Love,
Mama)

How sweet.


my husband has been returning home late these days. He says he's busy. I know he's out saving the earth, but a marriage is also important.

Actually he's about a hundred yards away at the edge of the lake, blowing bubblegum at the lake cre-- oh. um. Yes. Saving the world. That's what he's doing! So it's totally understandable that he's not here with his nattering monkey wife.


Baring teeth is how animals show aggression, you know.


"He looks delicious."


Ah, our friend from the Stonehenge base tube.


...I just love making haiku.

I don't think it's worth an !addbest.


You're such a great man.

Brickroad's dungeon, Rainy Circle, the Stonehenge base, and Dr. Andonut's lab are all empty.

[R^2]

Don't you remember me? I returned this building to Mr. Enrich Flavor. Now I'm working as an elevator man. I'm very happy, and it's good to be alive. I heard of your many successes. Wonderful.




Don't you wanna be a police officer?


Guess I missed a couple.


You have a giant replica of dinosaur bones right there. They're ...Huge!

Yes, I have sure-fire proof. I've seen them in so many movies, they must have been real!

Pff, they keep making movies about alien invaders and people with psychic powers, too, but it's not like tho-- oh. Ahem. Um. Right.


I can recite the alphabet all the way to "N" on one belch!


A B C D E F G H I J... urp. Hang on, let me get a soda or something.


I'm almost certain one of us is a girl.


We're not too young to drink coffee anymore?


If you see him, tell him that he should take better care of his father. Don't tell my wife in Onett that I've been spending my time here. Hic! Wheeee!







...

 
 
 
 
 
 






...blue, blue?




Can't have any more of that last one, anyway.


I'll give you an autograph next time. Are you here to see my show? Looks like you aren't too busy. Make yourself at home for a while.

I'm pretty sure if you say yes, once you get back out into the theater she does another routine onstage.


Everyone standing here says this.


You've overcome many hardships. I praise all of you for your courage.

[R^2]

I am doing well in the health food business. People can get over any illness they might catch. Don't you think it's a great business?
Say yes, I guess.
I could make you believe anything.


Now I can't remember where my house is... I told you this before, remember? Huh? I never saw you before? I guess I can't remember anything right.


They're keeping ghosts and zombies in the cages now.

[R^2]

And back to Twoson.


You had no idea of what I could do...

Did you ever get the device to make boiled eggs raw again working? At least Apple Kid's stuff worked as designed.






Since we last met, the whole town has woken up. The best happiness comes from being free... you kids made me realize that.












Venus's mom does not seem to have a high opinion of her daughter's judgment.










If I got a wad of cash the size of my head, I'd probably quit my job too.


I love the phrasing. "Oops! I kidnapped someone by accident! Dammit, I tried so hard!"







crowded. I like that..." or something to that effect.




You seem happy enough, but who knows?


Great, you can go get your own damn Isignificant Item then.




We've become friends again.






So, where do you come from? Can you play with me again someday?








Me too!

[R^2]

I heard you asked a Twoson girl out on a date. What's her name? You know, you have one of those baby faces that really attracts the girls, you lucky boy.


Hooray! Life is good. Dum dee dee dee...


You're too young to even think about getting behind the wheel, you little pest.


I bet you didn't meet anyone stronger than I, did you? I know that you didn't, Wa ha ha ha!




The video arcade still has its old amelodic chiptunes background music. It's the one place in the game where the music is different now.


You know what? I think I will!






...

...

...um...

...


...well, it does have a nice ocean view.





"My Secret Life, chapter three." (Story from the previous chapter.)
I was neither a murder suspect, nor a target for an international spy organization. But I drove a car down the Jersey Turnpike at 80 mph. ...A police officer pulled me over and asked for my driver's license. He said I was going 20 mph over the speed limit.
I instantly pointed to my wife and said "I'm in a hurry, my wife is in labor." Fortunately, my wife actually had a big stomach.
I hoped he'd let me go with this excuse. "Oh, since it's an emergency, I'll lead you to the hospital with my police car," he said.
"No, it's not necessary."
"Why not?" asked the officer.
"Uh... well..."
"Let's get going," said the officer...
"No, no! We can't! This baby is a demon child!"

...well, I know what story I'll be doing for NaNoWriMo next year.

[R^2]

What was I thinking -- you did something really big!








!


but there's no way it was you. Maybe you'd like to study my city management techniques so that you could become Mayor someday? Wa ha ha! Since I returned peace to Onett I was re-elected Mayor.


Oddly, the yes/no prompt is in all caps here, and nowhere else.






Well, when I left here the first time I was like level 12. So yeah.


...and stop playing in the street with oncoming traffic?


Stay where you're at, then.


After our battle I became serious, and have been working very hard. I've even been doing some training for... for... Well, a little bit of pro wrasslin'. It's the ring for me, baby...

You realize they don't usually allow knives and, uh, steampunk-style robots into the wrestling ring, right?

What the hell am I saying, it's only a matter of time.


Let's get together for a drink, when you have a chance so I can hear your stories. ...I'm talking about mineral water. I'm still underage, you know.














My philosophy is "peace to all men"! Really? You like it? I knew you would understand.


During your trip, were you popular everywhere you went? ...I'm jealous. I wish I was popular like you...






It's a fixer-upper, but I actually have 3/4s of a clubhouse out there already...






We did get "Overcoming Shyness" from the Tenda Chief for this purpose, after all.

You're such a good boy. As a reward, I'll give you a kiss. Smack!
As before, this scene is greatly improved if you imagine the sound effect at the end is someone going upside Snes's head instead of a smooch.






Clap clap clap! Three cheers for venereal disease!


Mr. Minch is in Fourside, so you're... oh. Oh.


Either the Minches are terrible liars because my dad is frickin' loaded, and he's sent me hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of the past few weeks... or the Minches are correct and all the money I've gotten was originally borrowed from them in the first place.




Lest you got the impression that this guy had moved in after the Minches moved out... no. Lardna's still here.

My son isn't at home now. He's walking around somewhere. My husband is also gone. Oh yes, this is Mr. Prettyman. He always has great advice. He's a real gentleman, he is. You'll be happy that you met him.

And he's a chubby-chaser, I guess.




You could stand to be about 20% cooler.








In a minute, we're almost done.


I'd like to hear all of your stories, but I don't want to annoy you as soon as you walk through the door. I want to have a chance to get to know your little girlfriend. It's good to meet you, Gufin. After all your chats with people you met on your adventure are finally over,

Close!

please come back here. The photo-man brought an album by. I'd like to look at it with you...


but I know that you guys saved the world!)


You've got a lot of catching up to do with your schoolwork, *hyork*! If you have any problems with your assignments, I'll help you. Don't get freaked out. Did Escargo Express, my old company, help you? I've saved some money, so we'll do the lunch thing sometime. You also got a new girlfriend? Your adventure must have been pretty good! Do you need help with anything other than your schoolwork?

What you are implying is extremely creepy Tracy and I wish to never speak of this again.

[Classic]

YAAAY NEVER-ENDING ENDING!

[R^2]

Back to Twoson, I guess.


...There was something I wanted to tell you, but I've forgotten it. I'm sure I'll remember by the time I see you again. Well, I guess this is it... Good-bye. Uhh... ...So long.

...See ya.

...Bye.






She makes a big deal out of the farewell, but the truth is Snes lives about a five-minute walk from her house. There aren't even any walking mushrooms on the way anymore.

And there's nothing stopping me from walking right in.


Gufin must have had quite an adventure! I'm glad you live so close to us. Why don't you drop by more often? I'm working on making better Brains.

Oh dear.


The wayward comma somewhat changes the meaning of the sentence.

Perhaps you should continue dating Gufin. Just treat her right... Come by and visit anytime. You can even sleep on the living room couch instead of the one in the den...

I'm not entirely sure if mutual telepathic powers between me and the girlfriends I had as a teenager would have made things any better. I rather doubt it.


Everyone is probably worried about you.

Well, I was just there ten minutes ago...


Oh, fine. Not like I haven't talked to everyone else.

[R^2]

Good Friends, Bad Friends: Earthbound Music








Porky runs off once his setting scrolls up about halfway.




The Sharks kind of spin around and dance a bit.










The tour bus rides by and drops off Lucky and Gorgeous. The keyboardist must be driving, since he still doesn't appear here.


Porky runs off again.


The Bubble Monkey blows a bubble and floats in place while the cast roll scrolls by...


...landing on Tessie's head.






The Sky Runner starts to smoke...


...and is destroyed.






Not sure why the shovel is also sweating.




Porky runs off again, again.




Meanwhile Gorgeous has to drag his saxophone player away from Venus.


Tiny tornado off to the left.




whooosh






The out-of-place Mr. Saturn leaves, too.


Graves...




I'm so sorry you guys.










Curtain call for nameless recurring NPCs.


I missed the setup shots, but the "Dad" phone is still when it comes onscreen.


Once it starts ringing, it wakes AirBud up.



...and one more...












Say, "Fuzzy Pickles!"




AND YOU!!