Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[R^2]

Please be a little more specific. They look fine to me.

[McDohl]

Huh.  When I was reading the update earlier this evening, the screenshots were all out of order.

[R^2]

You're out of order! This whole forum's out of order!

[R^2]

EarthBound Music - Zombie Paper


Now you listen here... "Don't Enter" means just that -- DO NOT ENTER. You got that? And furthermore...
Blah blah
Blah blah
It's usually those tax evaders who...
Blah blah
Blah blah
We don't enjoy blocking off roads, you know...
Blah blah
Blah blah
It's usually the local whiners that make a big deal about emergencies and meteorites!
Blah blah
Blah blah
Blah blah


At times like this, kids like you should be playing Nintendo games.


Yeah, I had a dream someone was calling out to me, so I gotta go follow my uncle to the basement of Hyrule Castle and... wait, sorry. Zoned out for a second. Twoson. Yeah.


Well, that's not suspicious at all.












hahaha WHAT?!


You want a ten-year-old kid to beat up five cops? The hell, man?!


I'm pretty sure this is against the law somewhere!





Battle Against a Mobile Opponent: Earthbound Music




The crushing chop usually misses, but does around 25 damage when it lands. Regular attacks do about 10 damage. And hitting a cop twice is enough to take him out.


But it's an endurance match.


Because you don't get any breaks between fights to heal up.


Need to heal? Take a combat turn to do it.


The cops also get quotes when they lose, before they leave, but eh.


The gauntlet continues.


Yep, you're the last one. Bring it on.


What?!


You dick!







Battle Against an Unsettling Opponent: Earthbound Music




This is Captain Strong's basic attack, doing about 35 damage. He can also Lose His Temper for +1 Offense (no big deal) or be On Guard for increased defense for a turn.


That's an incoming SMAAAAASH!!, and that's bad! But here's a mechanic implemented in this game that carried over to the sequel: your HP meter is a rolling figure, like an odometer. If you take a fatal hit -- like the 88 incoming to my 53 total, you have until the number rolls down to 0 to heal yourself to prevent falling unconscious. The higher your Guts, the slower the meter goes -- and the higher your Guts, the higher the (still low) chance that the meter stops at 1 even if the hit would be otherwise fatal!

Thankfully, Strong was On Guard next turn, giving me time to use Lifeup alpha and save the fight.


Yeah boss.




Titanic Ant was only worth a little bit more than this.


You want me to open the road to Twoson? Hang on a sec, I'll radio my staff and give them the word...


*click* Strong here... do you read me? ... *krrrr* ...Hey!... This is Captain Strong! Okay, listen, a kid named Snes will be there in a few minutes... He's a kid in a red cap... I want you to open the road to Twoson for him... I know that... I know that!... Don't ask me why, just do it! That's an order! ...Strong out...




but I do want to see you again... Good luck!

[R^2]

One more time before we leave town.


Well, I got the okay from Chief Strong to let you through. Take care of yourself.


You can also use the map in Twoson. It's really useful.


There are some Black Antoids on the way to Twoson, but they still flee from my mighty power.


HILARIOUS REVERSAL

The mice are known as "Exit Mice". They are very kind, and boy are they fast! I really love these guys!

You can talk to the mouse without a sign on her head to take one of her sons -- who do -- with you as an inventory item. Using an Exit Mouse takes you back to the entrance of any dungeon, tunnel, or whatever you happen to be lost in.


These are new.

Earthbound - Battle Against a Weird Opponent


Ramblin' Evil Mushrooms can attack for some damage, or scatter spores around in an attempt to cause your party to Feel Strange.


This works.

Feeling Strange is this game's version of confusion status. Because of the mushroom growing out of your head, you sometimes target allies with attacks or target enemies with recovery or healing. Outside of combat, having a mushroom growing out of your head shuffles your controls every few seconds, so you're often walking in the wrong direction. The mushroom has its medicinal purposes, though, so you can sell it to healers at the hospital for a quick $50.

Yes, the healer will pay you to get rid of a status ailment. Earthbound is kind of a weird game.


I think I'll turn down the message speed next time I play, it can be tough getting full messages as they scroll by in that tiny window. "Snes is feeling funky" means "We just targeted someone other than what you wanted with what you're doing this turn."

In this case, Snes smacks himself.

Sorry, that's not right.

Snes SMAAAAASH!!es himself.

[Friday]

Confusion status is and always has been the most bullshit thing in any RPG, ever. Hell, I even prefer charm, because at least then you KNOW they're gonna attack you, where as with confuse you feel like you died because you got unlucky.

[Brentai]

Isn't that everything in every RPG?

[Zaratustra]

no way mang it's all about how you pick attack and then attack again and sometimes heal

[R^2]

The path to Twoson is now surprisingly mushroom-light. There's only one Ramblin' Evil Mushroom, near the exit.


Yeah. Not so tough when I'm not bashing my own face in, huh?


What an odd thing for a walking mushroom to be carrying.

Mother 2/ EarthBound Music - Boy Meets Girl (Twoson)
Another one of my favorite pieces of music from the game.




A helpful mole tells you how to discern friendlies from enemies. Yes, Earthbound breaks the #1 rule of RPGs and puts enemies in towns.


Hauksness flashbacks oh god




Well, that was productive. Shield alpha does what you might guess: reduces physical damage to one person.


Would you like me to tell you about Twoson?

Sure, why not.

Twoson has a modern, clean hotel. There is a hospital and the wonderful Chaos Theater. There is the Polestar preschool, and a nice bus station. If you're curious, you might want to check out Burglin Park. It's exciting. East of the town, you find the Peaceful Rest Valley. On the other side of the valley is Happy-Happy Village. There's also a pizza parlor. Do you want to know anything else?

Well, tee hee, I don't know anything else.


Check-a-roony!




They wanna meet with the founder of the religion there.


Walking is good for your health.

And yet you never get out of that convertible.


I want to invent something, too.



Earthbound - Hospital


The doctor is through this door; you can pay him to heal colds and revive unconscious allies and stuff. The healer is to Snes's left, he deals with more esoteric status ailments like mushrooms growing out of your head or having been transformed into a crystalline statue of yourself.


I left something good at the Threed Hospital, but now I can't go get it because the bus can't get through the tunnel.


but I hurt my leg in Peaceful Rest Valley.


...and he put you in the hospital? Dag.


Check-a-roony!




Queen, quiet, quick...








Ahem. school is the talk of the town. I wanna see her someday.




The ticket counter at the department store was even sold out.


Right through this door, please.

The guy's Japanese name was "Dogfood". "Poochyfud" is... not really an improvement.


They'll stay here until they pay me back. They might be here for another 100 years, unless you decide to pay off their debt... Heh, heh, heh.


("Twoson Athletic Committee")

Check-a-roony!


Check-a-roony!




She's using a stage name -- Vein... oh, vein something... she's working hard.




I believe you, Romosome!




I think that Gufin would be a good friend for you.

[R^2]

Let's bug this guy, eh?






































Yay.




It's actually kind of fun, so I'll leave it there.

And outside...

Gah!


You again!











He's sold out of bikes, but will rent you one. And because he likes you, it's free. But you can't ride a bike while anyone is following you, or in a dungeon or cave, or while you're carrying a teddy bear, so they're only useful... in this town. For a very short time.

Earthbound Music 42) Ness´ bike




yayyyy. You can press the R button to ring the bike bell.


Look at me I'm in the opening credits

Enough of that. We reload state so we don't pick up the bike at all. It's only slightly faster than walking anyway.






I was really homesick recently, and my mom cheered me right up. You should call your mom sometime. Believe me, those melancholy feelings will be gone before you know it.

Homesickness is a status ailment that only Snes can get. Between experience levels 16 75, once you win a battle, there's a tiny chance of getting homesick (lower than that and you're close enough to home, higher than that and you're an experienced enough hero that it doesn't bother you). If Snes is homesick, sometimes he'll lose a turn in battle thinking about how good Brains smell or thinking of his mom. You nostalgia, you lose.

Calling home to mom cures homesickness.


The main floor and balcony seats are sold out. We only have box seats, which cost 20 dollars. Would that be okay? Oh wait... the box seats sold out a long time ago. Oops. My mistake. The box seats are the most popular.


That must have been exciting!


He lives here, and people call him Orange Kid. He seems to be popular with the girls, because

He has a town map!

he's... groovy?

Anyway, this is the restaurant level.


Burger shop.


Bakery. Skip sandwiches let you move faster for a few seconds and restore piddling HP. They're a waste of money and inventory space. And having told you that, I can skip talking to the girl next to the bakery, who... tells you that.


I wonder why.




I don't know what they're talking about. It looks like a plain ol' teddy bear to me...


The sporting goods shop doesn't sell anything new Snes can equip, but sell a few things he can't.


Sure enough, they sell teddy bears here.


Check-a-roooookay that's already getting annoying.


He's the inventor -- he should invent some food for himself.

Sick burn.


No, not that airheaded, dweeby Apple Kid. I'm talking about the incredibly hot Orange Kid!






If you have a friend who is knowledgeable about mechanics, that person might be able to fix something for you overnight... Man, a friend like that would be so handy...


I won't join the Happy Happy Religious Group. *munch, munch, munch* If you get pushy with me, I'll pelt you with peanuts! *munch, munch*

[R^2]

Have you heard of me? I'm a bit embarrassed about my reputation. I have a lot of inventions in development, but I'm running short of cash. I'm basically a happy-go-lucky person, so I'm not worried. You know, I'm working on this machine that would really help you in Peaceful Rest Valley. I hope it's ready soon... what? You're actually willing to help finance the project?

Sigh. Yes.




Let me give you my new "Super Orange Machine". I call it "Suporma" for short. Please use it for spreading peace and goodwill on Earth.





...




I know it's a bit of a pig sty, but anyway... I'm Apple Kid. I haven't taken a bath in quite a while, so I may be kind of stinky. By the way, I'm starving. Do you have something to eat?

Snes gives Apple Kid a bread roll. Apple Kid will take anything edible, though -- he'd take the ketchup packet if I offered it to him.




We give Apple Kid $200 instead.



Welp, that's that.





We get a cellphone! Well, a Receiver phone. It can take plot-important calls, and sometimes your dad will call you to ask if you need a break because you've been playing the game too long. No, really. That's a thing that happens.


Maybe they've got some sort of bad fever. Be careful.

And here I am without my cowbell.


Peaceful Rest Valley and Happy-Happy Village are waiting for you. I've also heard there are UFOs in the Peaceful Rest Valley.


while helping out at the Polestar Preschool.


So they give me the number so I can call and have a pie delivered. It takes three minutes for the delivery guy to show up, during which you can't go into any dungeons or anything or he'll call you and tell you he can't find you. Pizzas are pretty good partywide healing items, though.

[R^2]

I wonder if the bus will have to turn around and come back.




Actually, I'm more scared of my old lady, ha!


Be sure to check the bus stop signs. I wonder who came up with this system?


Life is long... take it easy, chubs. You don't have a town map? You didn't borrow one from the Onett library?

No! I know I'll never be popular with the girls!


Well, let's give it a shot. The bus comes when you check the schedule.







Get on the Bus: Earthbound Music


























We disembark.




but I think the ghosts in the tunnel don't like anything upbeat and cheerful. When I was driving in the tunnel, I was playing some grooving tunes and the ghosts moved slower. I think the ghosts can't stand anything positive.

On the way back to town...


Th... that blue face!


She's not a difficult opponent, except I'm still beat up from the road to Twoson.

[R^2]

Earthbound - Paula's Theme


This kid illustrates how perfectly-timed this script is. Words don't appear in the text boxes steadily, characters often pause by themselves before saying their next line. This kid prints every "u" in "juuuust" with a split-second pause, showing how they're stretching the word out.

Of course, all that is lost in a screenshot LP, except that it makes gathering dialog kind of a pain in the ass.




I might have a baby face, but I have the mind of an adult. I beg your pardon.


I'm Gufin's mother. I'm busy taking care of these kids. You shouldn't worry about Gufin. She has a guardian angel, it seems.


Yes, but she's been kidnapped and is missing.












She's not heeere.






Siiigh.




How about I go to her room instead?




Teddy bears can't act in battle, but they are good at absorbing hits and acting as a decoy. They have a certain amount of HP, and once it runs out, the bear is destroyed.

So, a little low on HP and PP, I head to the hotel. To stay rather than talking to people.




I am Gufin...
Can you hear me calling you?
Help!
Come and help me!
Um, I don't know where I am...
I can hear water running in the distance...

So we wake up, HP/PP restored.


Here is this morning's Twoson Tribune headline... "Ghosts found to inhabit tunnel to Threed."

And outside...

Paula's father, having just realized she's gone, is searching frantically.

[R^2]

He's got ties to burglaries and kidnappings in this area. He's a scary guy.


That's why we don't have to bribe any crooked cops.


Condiments are for sale here. They take up an inventory slot and work automatically, so they're kind of not-good. Whenever you eat a thing, you add any condiments if you have any, and use the best condiment you have if you have several different kinds. If the condiment matches the food (hamburger/ketchup packet; boiled egg/salt packet; cup of coffee/carton of cream), you get more HP than eating the food plain. If the condiment doesn't match, there's no benefit.


but he's actually quite warm-hearted for a crime boss.





So we have a fresh egg.


Not bad. Cheaper than a hamburger, with a better HP restore. Ketchup Packets make them better for some reason.

But we don't stockpile them, because...


After a few minutes, the fresh egg hatches into a chick! The chick cures homesickness, because -- you guessed it --



After a few minutes more, the chick grows up.


If you try to use the chicken, it runs away and is lost. So instead...


Pawn that bad bitch.


400% return on investment! If we were strapped for cash, this is a good way to raise more.


The broken junk isn't worth having (yet), the Defense Spray is a one-use defense boost in a fight, and the Rust Promoter quickly defeats mechanical enemies. We're here for the Copper Bracelet, which increases our defense a little more.


Bananas pair well with Cartons of Cream.


Rulers are useless, though.




Takes an inventory slot. If you use it, someone runs up and offers to buy something else out of your inventory. So by cutting your carrying capacity short, you can... throw away fewer things.

We skip it.














Being a thief, Everdred can swipe items in battle.


He also beats the everloving tar out of a teddy bear.


Sometimes he wastes turns, too.


SMAAAAASH!!






When I jumped off the roof, I twisted my ankle. Anyway, I lost and nothing will change that. You know, you're pretty strong. Yeah, I know that you want to find out about a girl named Gufin. She went off to a secret hideout in the Peaceful Rest Valley. A chubby boy and a weird guy in a blue outfit have kidnapped her, though. They said that they were going to make Gufin some sort of human sacrifice. They were definitely hard-core strange. You know, she might be gone already. You'd better hurry. If you save Gufin, be sure to come back here, okay?
Don't
forget.


Also there was one of these guys hanging out behind Everdred's house. They're sorta-iconic for the series.


They also top off all that EXP I got from Everdred.


Welp, nowhere else to go but Peaceful Rest Valley, I guess.

[R^2]

Mobile Sprouts can sow seeds around themselves and grow their own help.


If you get mushroomized, this girl will take mushrooms off your head for you.


Um.


Oh hey, there are UFOs in Peaceful Rest Valley. They can fire beams that give you a Cold when they hit. They're vulnerable to Rust Promoters.




They also hate teddy bears, apparently.



Well, hell. The tunnel to Threed is infested with ghosts, the bridge to Happy-Happy is out, and the only path is blocked by this damn thing. What now?

[McDohl]

Use the ATM Card on it! 

[Smiler]

Just recently someone on Something Awful made a thread about this spot exactly. He bitched about how awful it was, and when people told him it was a joke, he said something like "WHY WOULD YOU JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING DUMB LIKE THIS IF YOU ALREADY KNOW IT IS DUMB THIS GAME IS SHIT."

Come on dawg there are worse things to be pissed about in Earthbound.

[Niku]

Peaceful Rest Valley IS probably my least favorite part of Earthbound.

[Doom]

Peaceful Rest Valley is typical for Earthbound but the fact that you solo it with Ness is irritating because of the Status Effects(limping back to town with a cold/mushroom and trying not to die) and the fucking animated trees that explode when they die. The second you recruit Paula the entire game is full of similar tough dungeon/overworld treks but it's doable just because you aren't pinned down by Only One Character's Actions.

[Friday]

The exploding trees thing was really a dick move on the part of the designers. You're still learning the game mechanics (most people don't even know about the rolling HP mechanic yet) and it's very easy for a Tree to come with another enemy and for you to kill the Tree first. It's a mistake you learn never to make again, but it's like an almost guaranteed automatic game over for a blind Earthbound player.