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[R^2]

There's a drugstore nearby.


If you buy a pack of bubble gum, you can have the monkey for free. Otherwise, he will cost you a buck. So, do you want him?

Yeah, we buy a pack of bubble gum. And a monkey.




Gear upgr-- well, that's a bit pricey. And 007 doesn't have an ATM card, so he can't convert enemies into money.

Earthbound Music 56) Winter´s white


The enemies out here are Spiteful Crows, Runaway Dogs, and Gruff Goats. Gruff Goats are new and more dangerous than either of the other two, but still suitable for a level 1 character to fight.


Which 007 is.


There's a little rest stop partway in, since we can't get back into Snow Wood to rest there.




We may be able to see Tessie tomorrow. I can't wait...


We're known as the "Tessie-Watching Club".


Maybe monkeys don't like gum.


Ahh Choo! I feel like I'm catching a cold.






Another free heal, this one actually a "rest overnight" sort.

We get another plea for help from Gufin, since there's no way she'd let us sleep in peace.






Well, that helps.


Cookies sell for $3, and Spiteful Crows always drop them. Bread Rolls sell for $6 and are dropped half the time by Runaway Dogs. Gruff Goats drop Salt Packets, which only sell for $1, but it's a rare drop so eh.


The Bubble Monkey sometimes needs a second to catch up, but when he runs up, he can catch enemies from behind for a green swirl.


Remember I told you Snes's dad sometimes calls to remind you to take a break?




007 doesn't even have a Receiver Phone to take the call. Snes's dad is... a living cellular network? Uh, in the technological sense. Or maybe just psychic. That's more believable.


Close...


Cloooooose...


Yeah, there we go.


But all that fighting helped 007 catch up in levels to Snes and Gufin.





Earthbound music Tessie's Themes


















Welp, we're not getting past that statue.

[R^2]

It's a simple maze with an entrance at one end and an exit at the other. Pretty modest.


Enemies here include Worthless Protoplasm, which are as weak as they sound, and sometimes call for help to get even more Worthless Protoplasm on the field. If they stop to size up the situation, they inflict Feeling Strange... on themselves.

Mad Ducks fall over, Disrupt Your Senses so you can't use PSI, or "Make something spin around!" to drain your PP. Since 007 can't use PSI anyway, they're even less dangerous than Worthless Protoplasm.

Rowdy Mice are the most dangerous enemies here -- or would be if we weren't so overleveled from the T-Rex Bat grind.






Dohohoho.


There's a phone here to call Dad Maxwell to save your game if you need to after that totally grueling and resource-draining dungeon.


No relation to Talking Time's Brickroad, the... uh, Final Fantasy expert guy.


Well, by combining my skills and Dr. Andonuts' intelligence, I can become "Dungeon Man", the first combination of human and dungeon in history. Let's meet again once I have become dungeon man.


How obliging.


Another cave!


It's almost entirely full of Attack Slugs, with the occasional Struttin' Evil Mushroom. Since there's no healer anywhere in Winters to remove mushroomized status, they don't show up too often.


Now how do we even


chewed it and started blowing.)










Hey!


Oh.














We're on our own.


They're Cave Boys in English, but in the Japanese version they're some sort of giant. Given that Winters is vaguely England-ish as Eagleland is vaguely America-ish, giants fit in a little better to the -ish mythology than neanderthals.


Cave Boys (or whatever) are dangerous, requiring 007 to fire off his bottle rocket to win even at his high-for-this-point experience level, but are worth a lot of EXP.

They also drop Picnic Lunches. Those recover about 80 HP and pair with the salt packet.




Hey, there is an entrance leading somewhere under Stonehenge!


The way is blocked by a giant iron statue of an eraser, though.

[R^2]

Mother 2/ EarthBound Music - Dr Andonuts' Lab


And not only that... What? Who? My son? Oh... I... can't... I can't believe it... You're 007, my son. It's been maybe 10 years since I last saw you. I'm so glad you're such a healthy boy. Uh, those glasses look good on you.




Dad humor.

Have you already checked out Stonehenge? Well, at least I asked... Mmmm... mmhmm okay. By the way, why are you here? Oh, I see. That girl named Gufin must have sense I was here. OK, I'll try to help you out. I'm trying to make a Phase Distorter that can connect two points in space and time. It's still incomplete. I'll let you use another invention I call the Sky Runner.

"Sky Walker" in Japanese. You can guess why they changed that.

It's a little bit old but it'll certainly help. When you board, always listen for the message that comes from your destination. You'll get there for sure if you listen to the message. The round machine over there is the Sky Runner. What do you think? Isn't it neat? Get in! Let's get together again in 10 years or so.


...but you're still hungry afterward.



The Sky Runner: Earthbound Music










































You don't have to explain a thing... I'm 007.

How suave.

I came because you called me. I'm not very strong, really near-sighted, kind of shy, and I tend to be a little reckless. This is just the way I am...


Off course!




Well, great. Now all three of us are stuck down here.


Oh, right.


That is a significant increase.


We smack around a couple zombies and stuff with it.


And while the party is flashing with mercy invincibility after that last fight, the ghost now orbiting us is clearly visible. Gufin has been possessed! Possession adds a Tiny Lil' Ghost to the battle, which will sometimes reach out with an icy hand to immobilize your allies.


The healer is also an exorcist, though.


I saw another tent to the south. I wonder when it went up?


Maybe the hidden road in the graveyard is safe...

Seems legit.





And we're totally fine! I think you guys are blowing this zombie thing way out of proportion.

[Rico]

While the OST is amazing on its own, I'd be remiss to let this thread pass without pointing out Bound Together: ReBound to anyone who's unfamiliar with it. It's a 48-track remix album of Earthbound music and most of it is excellent.

[R^2]

Mother 2/ EarthBound Music - Threed, Zombie Central

A few people have new things to say.


I left my wife and kids at home to escape to this tent. That's how scary the zombies are.


I don't mean that I actually run around. I just mean that I am frightened. Conditions in the town are getting worse.

But it's not like it's good news.


Oh, I guess the drugstore sells Insecticide Spray, not this guy. But he does sell Bottle Rockets, which is one of the high-tech items only 007 can use. So we buy him a couple.






As his IQ goes up, 007 can take different kinds of broken junk and turn it into jury-rigged weird sci-tech when the rest of the party sleeps. In this case he gets a weapon a bit better than the Toy Air Gun the black market-ish guy sells.


The truth is, I work for the monsters. The humans seem to be losing, so I'm on the zombies' side for my own protection. The zombies' leader likes Fly Honey. He makes his followers collect it. You know -- bees make bee honey and flies make Fly Honey.

I am 80% certain that is not how flies work.

The zombie leader is strong because he always eats peanut butter and Fly Honey sandwiches... I got lots of Fly Honey stored in the tent to the south. I'll deliver it to the zombie leader soon.


Hey, can't you read? The sign I giggled at earlier says you can't put up tents around here!


AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


THAT IS ALMOST WHAT I SAAAAAAIIID



Boogie Down - Al Jarreau


Boogey Tent is a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad opponent. Well, he's not that bad. But usually Gufin and 007 are a bit underleveled, so you need to beat Boogey Tent quickly anyway. Even as it is, his regular attacks can shave off about half of Gufin's max HP.
Boogey Tent can use PSI Flash to make everyone in your party cry (or if you're really unlucky, feel strange). Other than that, he spews Fly Honey from his mouth to


Paralyze a party member.




For around $20 and for that kind of damage output, Bottle Rockets are kind of a deal. If it weren't for limited inventory space, we'd stock up and 007 would do nothing else. As it is, Snes's overpowered midgame bat does about that much damage anyway, so we can save the Bottle Rockets for special occasions.




The pale green light nullifies PSI effects like Offense Up or Defense Down and maybe shields too, so we never bothered with them.


Nonetheless, we prevail.


PSI Magnet, as we've seen from Mobile Sprouts, drains a little PP from the target and gives it to the user.

[R^2]

ring ring ring ring


I just wanted to let you know that I finished a pretty unique invention. I'm not sure if it will help you or not... It's called "Zombie Paper", and it can be used to trap zombies. It works kind of like fly paper...

Bees make bee paper, and flies make fly paper, right?


You've seen at least one tent around, right? .....and then the zombies get stuck to the paper when they move around inside the tent. You can catch a lot of zombies this way... In fact, I bet you could get rid of all the zombies that are terrorizing the area with this paper!

Anyway, I just asked the Mach Pizza delivery man to deliver the Zombie Paper to you, Snes. You should get it pretty soon. I've never actually seen a zombie, but if there really are any, Zombie Paper would be very useful... I'll be calling you if I come up with anything else...
*Click!* Beeeeep!

Why does everyone say that when they're about to hang up?

Anyway, mere moments later...




Way to walk behind a character who was herself walking behind a flag and making my screenshots look bad, asshole.

He wanted me to deliver this to someone named Snes ...who is wandering around Threed. No one else knows about this, right? Let's just pretend you're Snes, and I'll give this to you.
Oh! Hello, Snes! Just go along with me on this one, okay. I made the decision that you're Snes, no matter what... That's right, Snes... *wink, wink*
I've done my duty and given you Apple Kid's thingamajig... Well, goodbye!














We give it overnight to work. Zombies are more active at night, right? Something something of the living dead and all that?






Sure enough, the zombies all wise fwom their gwaves and start wandering into town.


Even the two blocking the graveyard path.



And the next morning...






"Arrest" sounds strange, doesn't it?

In the lesser-used "prevent from moving" sense of the word I guess it's okay.


Not ye--


Jeepers cripes it smells like rotten carrion assholes in here!














So they can suffocate under their own body weight as they're glued to the floor? That's not a very nice thing to say.




Anyway, the graveyard path is open now.

[R^2]

Surprise, it's full of ghosts.


And zombies.


And zombie dogs, which are stronger than zombie humans.


And ghosts that possess you and call for help and make battles much longer than they really should be.


And little... uh... what is that, exactly?




And mortal enemies of our kind!


First thing Mini Barf does to open the fight is belch out a blast of stinky breath, which


drives your whole party to tears. He does it again if you ever heal it, so this is a battle fought largely with PSI powers and bottle rockets. Other than the constant missing with regular hits, the only real problem with this fight is the possession I got right before it immobilizing my characters. I think the Tiny Lil Ghost got a SMAAAAASH!! hit on Gufin for about 30 damage at one point, too.













This guy can sell you Calorie Sticks and Cups of Coffee and... something else, I forget. He can't heal possession, though. (Crying goes away after the battle is over.)










Farm Zombies can freeze you with their icy breath. Red Antoids can call for help -- and do so often -- and use Defense Down alpha. Armored Frogs aren't really threatening because their bash doesn't do much damage, but their defense is through the roof. Freezing them with PSI works okay though.





Cave.


Full of roaches. They can spread their wings and fly in someone's face, stunning that person for a round.


It's not a very long tunnel.

[R^2]

Hi Hi Hi (Saturn Valley): Earthbound Music








Everyone here is Mr. Saturn. And yes, they all talk in this font.

When I was in high school and the game was still relatively new, I had a paper to do in one of my English classes. There was much debate over whether it should be hand-written or typed, and to the dismay of most of the class, it was declared that hand-written was the way to go.

So I wrote my entire paper in the Mr. Saturn style of obnoxious loops and whirls. It was an otherwise-serious paper done in silly-looking text, so I left out their verbal tick of going "BOING" or "DING", though.






Dr. Saturn heals status ailments. Including possession, hooray. I am not sure why he sits in a trash can, though.






























You get a little whistley sound effect after he's done so you know that this one Mr. Saturn isn't spouting oddly-phrased nonsense like the others.












What an odd-looking... thing.


Oh.




Peanut Cheese Bars restore about 100 HP and are $22, making them the best dollars-to-HP item in the game. They eventually go obsolete, of course, but we stock up while we can. They pair well with the Sprig of Parsley. (Stag Beetles are thrown at enemies to stun them, Horn of Life can bring someone back from unconsciousness, and Picture Postcards do nothing. We've seen the rest.)












There's obviously more stuff to do, but we can't get to that cliff with the ladder broken.


The hotel is free.


We stay several times, until...


007 fixes the Slime Generator, capable of stunning multiple opponents.


Then we leave!


More firepower against one enemy row.


Yep.


Behind the falls, you say...


Now would be a good time to go make a cup of instant noodles.

Which is why this takes exactly three minutes, I'm told.

Once our noodles are done (okay, I just held down the fast-forward key)...




Oh no, this looks like the Duncan factory from Mother 1!

[Classic]

Which, now that I think about it, you should have LP'd first.

[Niku]

I just checked, and sadly Talking Time's LP of Mother went on hiatus before it finished.

Luckily, something awful's got your back.

[Classic]

Something Awful has squatted on basically everything that R^2 is doing or has done. Obviously, the point is to make R^2 suffer until he conceives plans of Pokemon-shattering awesomeness for his LPs.

[Niku]

Well yeah, I mostly meant for anyone who wanted to see PREVIOUSLY ON, EARTHBOUND and not as discouragement.  Because if people who wanted to LP things stopped doing so just because someone else beat them to the punch, the internet would have a lot fewer youtube videos.

[Classic]

Heh, that would be a very stupid criterion to curb the number of stupid youTube videos on the internet.
Mother does make a lot of weird decisions in Earthbound more sensical, but I don't know how much.
Unfortunately, the XP rewards and difficulty curve for Mother and wonky as shit. So playing it is actually work instead of fun.

[R^2]

Mother 2/ EarthBound Music - Belch's Factory






Yep, just the Fly Honey deliverypeople, that's us. We're uh, with Escargo Express.




The Duncan Factory in Mother 1 -- which this base is made to resemble -- was a brutal maze full of tough enemies. Belch's Base is a more-or-less straightforward dungeon full of...


Foppies. Foppies don't have much in the way of HP or attack power, and often spend turns "being absentminded", which does nothing. They can try to use Brainshock alpha or Magnet alpha, but they start every battle with Can't Concentrate and it fails. If they last long enough for Can't Concentrate to wear off, they can be a medium threat. Sort of.


They don't last long enough for Can't Concentrate to wear off, even when they attack in groups of six.


I did some leveling here by smashing in the tiny little heads/bodies of a couple dozen Foppies. And since I did it on fast-forward, I missed a few PSI-abilities-learned notices. But Snes picked up Healing beta, which does exactly what this screenshot says.


Gufin picks up Offense Up alpha, which does what you'd expect.


Hey, I got one. Magnet omega does the same thing as Magnet alpha, only it targets all enemies. Single-digit gains from a bunch of enemies ends up being a pretty good PP restore.


Snes again.


Thunder beta follows the same rules as Thunder alpha, but tries to strike twice with a more powerful bolt.


As Paralysis alpha, but targets all enemies.


Remember, it's how Buzz Buzz kept the Starman Jr. from murdering us all back in the prologue.


Neato.


Mr. Saturn slavery isn't really what I'd call a "problem".


Canonically, Mr. Saturns make little pooting noises when they walk. Maybe that's why Belch wanted them as slave labor?






Oh yeah, these guys again. They're a little less eager to make everyone cry, but sometimes they call for help. They often attack with a Mostly Bad Fly or two, which aren't strong but say some terrible things that decrease your offense and defense.


Fight.


The HP-Sucker drains a little HP from an enemy.


Partway through the base there's a room where magic butterflies often spawn, and enemies never do. Exiting and reentering is likely to give you another butterfly. It's trivial to heal up, restore your PP, and then pound on a few more Foppies.








Fight. I wonder what happens if you stand still without advancing his dialog for three minutes while he's talking to you. Something to try next time, I guess.


omghai2u

[R^2]

As Belch talks, each line of his dialog is announced, with, well... a belch.










What an odd laugh.







Battle Against Belch: Earthbound Music


As befitting Master Belch, his favorite attack is to burp and blow his nauseating breath at someone. This gives them Nausea status, which is basically the same as poison. He can also start a continuous attack, hitting twice; or call for help, summoning a Slimy Little Pile to the fight. (Slimy Little Piles, you'll recall, can also call for help, summoning another Slimy Little Pile to the fight.)

Oh, and I'm pretty sure he's invincible, healing all his HP behind the scenes every round.


IF ONLY THE GAME HAD GIVEN ME SOME HINT AS TO WHAT HIS WEAKNESS IS


GUYS WHAT DO I DO THIS FIGHT IS SO HARD


SERIOUSLY AT A LOSS HERE


Aaaaand this is how Belch spends the rest of the fight. Every turn, he loses his mind by wolfing down Fly Honey again. Also he starts taking damage for real.


It was just a matter of time.




Is that a problem?


Oh.

[R^2]

There's a pause after every line. Yes, I took a screenshot of every single line as it came up.








Oh, hey.




AlSo dO lAuNdRy!!






The hot springs takes a moment to warm you up, but is a full HP/PP/status restore once it does.






I figured you'd serve barley tea.



You've Come Far Ness: Earthbound Music


The text moves at a crawl here.




















The Japanese version is narrator-less, so no one mentions "I" at any point. The translation like this leads to the question: who the hell is speaking here?


Yep.












I hAnD yoU mR. sAtURn CoIn. I nO hAnD yoU My sTAg BeEtLe...

oH! tEaSe yoU!

i HavE nO sOMeThIng.

You get a Cup of Lifenoodles (restores status ailments including unconsciousness), a Mr. Saturn Coin (defense and luck up), and a Stag Beetle (usable once, stuns an enemy for one turn).




Study hard, little guy.




Neato. All that powerleveling paid off. Uh, literally.


Hell yeah it did.









Yeppers.

[R^2]

Of course I got the screencap that only shows them as dimmed silhouettes, but except for the Ranboob everything here's just a palette-swap anyway.  Struttin' Evil Mushrooms are the biggest threats, since they use their mushroomize attacks more often. Tough Mobile Sprouts are the same as regular Mobile Sprouts, but tougher. Ranboobs can shield themselves, so they're the least-dangerous enemies here.


Exactly what it says on the tin.


Milky Well is exactly two screens deep. There's the outdoor area from before and a very short cave area.







Sanctuary Guardian: Earthbound Music


It took me an embarrasingly long time to realize that Trillionage wasn't a noun, like the state of being trillion. It's a Trillion-Age Sprout, i.e. it's inconceivably old.

Anyway, this guy can use some pretty nasty PSI. He knows Flash alpha, Paralysis alpha, and PSI Shield alpha -- so he can make you Cry/Feel Strange, Immobilize you, and block your PSI attacks so they do less damage.


Since he's pretty flammable, PSI Shield is a real tough one.


He can also Glare with his Eerie Eyes, which Diamondizes one party member. Diamondization is what other games would call petrification: you turn into a crystalline statue of yourself and are effectively dead.


I got crazy lucky in this fight. He never tried Flash, Paralysis missed twice, and his Glare missed the one time he tried it. Dodged a bunch of bullets there!




That's... uh. Suggestive.

EarthBound (SNES) Music - Your Sanctuary Milky Well








Gufin gets mushroomized on the way back. The Hot Springs will fix it, but the graphics are a little glitchy -- as you step down into the pool, the mushroom stays where it is.


The tunnel to Threed is empty.

[R^2]

Threed Free at Last: Earthbound Music




Who would have ever imagined it?


nope.jpg


the ghosts in the tunnel have disappeared. The buses can get through the tunnel now.




I want to see the city, and I want to smell like the city. I'm a real urban-type of guy.







Blah blah blah you get the idea.






No one ever mentioned buffalo you crazy person.






Again!


Heh.




Dude, just stop. Please.

Anyway, there's another half-dozen people who say thank you and I'm not posting them because it's tedious.

MOVING ON




HELL YEAH IT DOES






It's kind of a long trip.




Ooh, a desert.






He pops the bus in reverse and pulls away.


Crap.


Uh, quite literally crap.

[R^2]

There's a drugstore to sell you some basic healing goods. Wet towels heal Sunstroke status, which is what you get by walking around in the desert a lot.


Escargo Express calls to tell me they can't find me to pick up the items I want to give them. Do you have any idea what this heat does to a jar of fly honey?!



EarthBound-Dusty Dunes Desert soundtrack


There's always a single Mole Playing Rough at the entrance to the desert.


Why he's there is a mystery unsolved.












It doesn't take long for Sunstroke to set in. Healing alpha or a Wet Towel will fix it, otherwise you lose 4 HP regularly.


The enemies here are tough, and without a hospital, you gotta hoof it back to Threed if someone gets KOed.




Dusty Dunes Desert monster breakdown:
Skelpions are skull-faced scorpion monsters. They can poison you and use Thunder alpha.
Cute Li'l UFOs look like Li'l UFOs with a red ribbon on. They can use Lifeup alpha in addition to their beams.
Crested Bookas are odd ostrich-like creatures. They're not dangerous, but can decrease offense and defense.
Smilin' Spheres can use Fire beta (for rather a lot of damage) and explode when KOed, like the Territorial Oaks did before them.
Desert Wolves can bite with poisonous fangs.
And on top of all that, the Bad Buffalo is still the most dangerous creature around. If they're lucky, they can even oneshot Snes!


Yeah, yeah.


Double Burgers heal about 90 HP, and pair well with ketchup.


Balls. Back to Threed.


For all that powerleveling I did back in Belch's Base, I sure am getting my ass handed to me.










Aww, poor guy.


DO YOU MIND










Wait there's a guy I haven't seen before.


He runs away, so you have to corner him.


But that nigh-guarantees a green swirl.


WHOA.

This is the Criminal Caterpillar. And that's pretty much all there is to the Criminal Caterpillar: they're rare but farmable if you know where to look, are easy to ambush, and give CRAZY exp.


One target, even more powerful.


Splat!


More clearly named "Counter" in Mother 3, this halves physical damage and reflects part of it back to the attacker.

I splatter these guys until I stop getting level-ups every time I do it.


Oddly, I'm made to fight the very last one. Which is bad, these guys can use PSI Fire to roast everyone alive. I still got it before it got me, though.


You're a tough seed to find.






You guys are so tragic.


A sign!








They're right there, nigh-impossible to miss.












For $1, you can spin the slot machine. And by "the slot machine" I mean "the brothers and Tomas, who are wearing sandwich-boards with icons on them".


After four or five tries...

[Stush]

It's like one of those aliens from sesame street melted.