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Author Topic: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!  (Read 38498 times)

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R^2

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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #340 on: April 05, 2013, 06:51:57 AM »


...unless you managed to get "Almost to BlackX base" before you ran into him, which allows your party to escape the self-destruct sequence.


Um... man, I'm running out of transformation catchphrases. "Shazam"? "Synergy, Synchronize"? "By your powers combined"? Ah, screw it.


Silence! You can talk!

(Not really. Surprise! It's another programming oversight. This is one of those "the second member of your party lineup says this line, and the third says this one" things, where they didn't give unique quotes to all the potential party members. So Silence can say Alkaiser's name, or Fuse's next line if you have him in the third party slot instead.)

Alkaiser: I also sneaked into the Black Ray. Let's go get BlackX.
Fuse: What happened to Red?
Alkaiser: He is all right. He was hurt, so I took him to a safe spot.


BlackX base is as straightforward as Emelia's final dungeon -- there are no branching paths at all -- but even more tedious than T260G's. With so many crowds of monsters and so many narrow passageways, you can expect to fight off every single mook and monster in the entire base.


There's some decent treasure, though.




Canie: Please, no more!!
Alkaiser: I am Re... Ready to rescue you from BlackX!

Smooth.

Alkaiser: Don't worry, I am Alkaiser. I'm here to beat BlackX's boss.

You've been parsing it as "Black Ecks" this whole time, haven't you? Remember, it's Black Cross. Red is busting mad rhymes here.


It's a key to open the last door in the dungeon. Why Dr. Klein gave it to his captives is anybody's guess.

Red's mom is also a full heal if you talk to her again. Which is nice, because the scene change to enter BlackX base didn't restore your party at all after the fight with Metal Black II.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #341 on: April 05, 2013, 07:00:10 AM »




BossX: ...pay for killing my dear brothers of BlackX.


That's right, the boss of BlackX is a goofy-looking robot in an oversized cape. He uses a regular attack and a Gaze attack every turn, so if you stocked up on PurpleEyes or have a decently-high Psychic stat, he's refreshingly straightforward.


He has a unique animation for all his attacks. For Bloodsucker, he whips out a giant syringe. For ChainedHeat, it's a chainsaw. And so on.

This shot makes his pauldrons also look like a giant duck beak. Maybe he takes his fashion tips from Joker!

Maybe he knows what Cube is!


Fuse ate a DeathGaze right before this victory shot was taken, but other than that, BossX was no sweat.

But uh, isn't that kind of a bogstandard destruction animation? Shouldn't the final boss get something unique?


Oh well. We're totally done here.


Totally.

Dr. Klein: It seems you get stronger and more obnoxious every time I see you.
Alkaiser: Give it up, Klein. I beat the boss. It's all over for you.
Dr. Klein: You beat our boss? Oh, you mean the one you just fought? No, he wasn't the boss. He's just another weakling. I'm in charge here.
Alkaiser: You maniac! Will you ever stop your madness?

PARDON ME DID ANYONE ORDER A LARGE HAAAAM??

Dr. Klein: Can you beat my secret weapons? Here they come.


...your secret weapon is Berva?


I've lost count of the number of times I've kicked this guy's ass.


See? No sweat.


...oh.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #342 on: April 05, 2013, 07:06:15 AM »




Nothing to report here, either.


No surprises, though.




OH GOD SPIDERS HUNDREDS OF THEM AAAAAAHHHHH


Before long, Arachne runs away.


...and immediately comes back. This was supposed to be a tag-team boss rush, with Berva, Shuzer, and Arachne switching off with one another, but I beat Berva and Shuzer too fast for that mechanic to trigger. :nyoro~n:


:shrug:


Well, at least I fought Metal Black II on the Black Ray, so he's not here now.


GOD DAMMIT


Dr. Klein: A new and improved Metal Black knows all your moves and attack patterns. It will defeat you without a problem.

Oh shit now he knows the Deadly Suplex Combo too!

Metal Black III: It's time to put up or shut up. Get ready to face death, Alkaiser.
Metal Black III: But I can't very well claim victory by defeating an exhausted hero. Dr. Klein, let Alkaiser recover.
Dr. Klein: You idiot, this is your chance to beat him for good, and you're philosophizing about fairness? You'll never be the best with that kind of attitude.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #343 on: April 05, 2013, 07:13:22 AM »


He's a stand-up guy, so Metal Black III gives you a full restore before you fight him.


He even looks like Alkaiser, down to the stupid wing ornaments on his helmet. In fact, the Japanese name for this boss is "Metal Alkaiser", rather than same-as-before-Mk. III.


Metal Black III doesn't know the DSC, but Alkaiser still does.


Having exhausted his bazooka ammunition, Silence throws his shoes at Metal Black. Heh heh.




This is what Klein meant: Alkaiser's best move is Al-Phoenix, so Metal Black has a dark counterpart.


Hah! Amateur! Let me show you how it's done!












Al-Phoenix upgrades to Re-Al-Phoenix if you use it after Metal Black uses Dark Phoenix. It's one of the most powerful single moves in the game, but while dramatic it doesn't have the same WP-to-damage efficiency as the DSC. Oh well.

I always figured this was "Returning Alkaiser Phoenix" or something like that. The Japanese name is "True Alkaiser Phoenix", but if you look closely, this is a clever pun! This move is the Re-Al, the Real, Phoenix.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #344 on: April 05, 2013, 07:34:37 AM »




Of course, the use of Real Phoenix would make a dramatic end to the fight, but Bideo James works on an HP score rather than appropriate storytelling. We continue attacking.


Until Metal Black shorts out


And fades away into a red mist.


Alkaiser: You could have used your powers for good.

Once more we have a mec treated as property and working against his own philosophy, just because that was what he was built to do. It'd be a more interesting subplot in a better game.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #345 on: April 05, 2013, 07:36:00 AM »


What, did you think five bosses in a row was going to be all?

Saga Frontier - Fight! Alkaiser
This isn't the final battle music for Red's scenario, but it's Alkaiser's theme and it's better than the actual final boss music, so that's what you get.


Not even Asellus had to deal with this bullshit. She only had Ciato, Lion, and Rastaban guarding her final boss.


what

the

fuck

It's got three legs... and, and a tail... only one eye, but has like an antenna sort of thing sticking out of the back...

This is the goofiest-looking thing I've ever seen, but...

But...!!




pyew pyew pyew


Welp, down to business.

You'd think after all that boss rush stuff, there'd be some sort of gimmick to this fight. Lord Ring runs away and has you fight his minions, Orlouge has his mistresses, even Hell's Lord has two forms and switches Divine Peace on and off. This is just a brawl with a guy who has a lot of HP and strong attacks.


And a fleet of flying saucers.


With missiles.




Which is bullshit because Rabbit activated his ECM and that's supposed to null incoming rocket attacks.


Alkaiser is switching up the DSC with FinalCrusade to keep everyone healed. FinalCrusade costs Alkaiser 1 LP each time he does it, but the next time he does Real Phoenix it does significantly more damage than usual. I'm not sure if the move's damage output is tied to his LP or if there's something else going on, but that'd be thematically appropriate.


Everything this guy does elicits a flat "What."

He's clearly not based on any biology we're familiar with, he has a Raygun-gothic style weapon that looks like he stole it from one of the villains in EarthBound, he commands a fleet of UFOs.

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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #346 on: April 05, 2013, 07:40:48 AM »












Red's mom: Mr. Hawk? What an honor. My husband told me all about you. How long have you known him?
Hawk: We go back a long way.
Red's mom: Thanks for coming and thank you for taking care of my boy.
Hawk: Well, I didn't do much. He's a good kid.
Red's mom: A good kid? I can't believe my ears.
Red: Stop embarrassing me, mom. I've got to talk to him, so I'll catch up with you later.




Red: Why?
Hawk: Go on, just turn around.






Red: Why? Alkarl!
Hawk is totally Alkarl omg: This is the decision of our secret society. Farewell, Red.





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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #347 on: April 05, 2013, 07:44:13 AM »



















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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #348 on: April 05, 2013, 08:56:53 AM »

Is Red recruitable in anyone else's campaign?
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #349 on: April 05, 2013, 11:56:08 AM »

Nope. Nobody else runs into the guy. Asellus might have if her quest had the parts where she's a passenger on the Cygnus included. He meets T260, Riki, Lute, Emelia, and Blue in his own scenario, but none of those guys meet Red in theirs.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #350 on: April 05, 2013, 12:18:57 PM »

Maybe Red's campaign was supposed to be so over the top it was meant to be surreal and the subject of a movie or TV show within the SaGa Frontier world. But, while that's needlessly complicated and ambitious, doesn't really fit with the game overall.
Of course, then there's Riki's campaign, so it's tough to have something be strange when compared to that. Even if it was originally the goal.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #351 on: April 06, 2013, 11:23:31 AM »


Don't run with ray swords, you might slip.


Hawk, man of mystery.


Henshin!


Alkarl looks... very little like this in game, I think.


Red, those two swords both seem very impractical for two very different reasons.

And uh

Look between Red's left knee and the hand gripping the sword.

Th... that's a penguin. In a bow tie and sunglasses. With a mohawk.

...

...WHY WASN'T HE IN THE GAME?!
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #352 on: April 06, 2013, 11:26:50 AM »

Official art of the Inter-Regional Patrol Organization!


Crazy Fuse, star of the scenario that never was. I get major Lupin III vibes from this picture, but uh... Fuse, what is wrong with your legs?


Icy Doll, voice of reason. She's easy to find because of her punk-rock hairdo.


Silence, the Narcissistic Cosplay Jerk and poster-boy for why you shouldn't try to absorb the spirits of giant transdimensional beasts thousands of times your size. A lesson we could all use a reminder of sometimes.


Cotton, the Pokemon gone astray. Kyu kyu kyu


Rabbit, the... uh... it's Rabbit.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #353 on: April 06, 2013, 11:32:05 AM »

Black Ecks!


Berva. Ha ha! He knows all your moves! Next time, he'll beat you for sure!


Cindy Campbell, proving that behind every successful businesswoman is a giant spider monster.


Shuzer, whom I have resisted calling "Schnauzer" up to this point, but no longer!


Metal Black mk. 1. He looks so thoughtful, but as we all know, mecs don't have emotions. Do as you're told, robit!

Presumably the swastika on his midsection is reflective of his philosophical nature and desire for inner peace, and not, uh... that other thing swastikas stand for.


Eine kleine Dr. Klein. He cares not for your bullshit papers.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #354 on: April 06, 2013, 11:37:54 AM »


Alternate style.


Man, I don't even know. Red, T260, Rabbit, Lute and a monkey, and in the background... Campbell? Diva? I can only guess.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #355 on: April 06, 2013, 01:25:09 PM »

So... that's actually it? The end?
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #356 on: April 06, 2013, 06:40:41 PM »

Well, it's not like I had any overarching plot to wrap up in a final scenario. Emelia is retired from Gradius, T260 is back in Junk, Asellus had turned Facinaturu into a decent place to live, Riki still sucks, Rouge is battling Hell's Lord for all eternity, Lute has avenged his father and is shirking command of Trinity, and Red has been stripped of his superhero powers after he accomplished his mission. That's... it.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #357 on: April 06, 2013, 06:55:43 PM »

No tour of the dev room you unlock for beating all seven?
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #358 on: April 06, 2013, 07:35:16 PM »

I'm getting to it, but if you're looking for plot resolutions or anything like that, you're gonna be disappointed.
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Re: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier!
« Reply #359 on: April 09, 2013, 04:38:10 AM »

You know what this game has been sorely lacking?

A bunch of ridiculous nonsense!


As with all scenarios, you're prompted to update your system data after watching Red's ending.


Then you end up... in the Cygnus?


It's a developer's room! I don't think Squeenix does this kind of thing much anymore; the novelty wore off around the time Chrono Trigger did it.

Kuwata: My genius was used to complete their map. Of course, I'm the one who designed Despair. I was going to put more secrets and traps in my prison, but I just didn't have enough time. By the way, I know who you are and what your secrets are. After all, I was the mastermind who made up all the character names in Alkaiser's scenario. But don't worry, your secret's safe with me.

Not sure if he says anything different to other characters, and I'm not playing through the other six scenarios again to find out.


Assistant Translators: Naomi Cooper, Daisuke Kato
Localization Specialist: Brian Bell
Localization Coordinators: Aiko Ito, Richard Honeywood




Williams: Thank you for playing another smashing Square Soft product.

nigel.gif

Williams: But now I must leave, because I'm going on V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N! See you in sunny Mexico! So without further ado, here are my elite troopers... the Q-A team!

And then he lists off his QA staff, which I can't imagine anyone reading this cares enough about for me to transcribe here.


There you're!

Davis: Thanks to the boys, Conner, Kevin, Mike, Bruce, James, Chad, Peter, Eric, Neil, Jo, Randy, Al, Lee, Chris, Christopher, Ivan, Loren, and Jason. We were able to kick this bad boy out of QA in just one month. Thank God for sugar, doughnuts, caffeine and a lack of a will to live. I hope we didn't mis any speling erors.


Matsui: Well this one sure was a lot of work. It's been years since I enjoyed August 31 this much. Out of all the characters we created for Saga, which was your favorite? I'm partial to the people in Junk. Rosemary and Thyme are also very charming. Originally, Uncle Taco was named Sage. How could an octopus be a sage? You tell me!

About as easily as an octopus could be a mechanic. But to be fair, he doesn't go into every field.

Matsui: Nusakan was also a very good character. He was designed by Kobayashi. I also love Annie and Mei-Ling. I mean, just check out their... heh... sorry, I was lost there for a moment. I have something else I want to tell you. Ready for this? Now I would like to acknowledge my appreciation to those who helped us make this game, including our family members who supported us with love and patience. Thank you! Thank you all! My kid is now Saga's biggest fan! Anyway, we at SQUARE really hope you gamers out there enjoyed the game. Once again, thanks for playing and we'll see you soon!

words words words words words words words words words


Miwa: I'll see you again in Chateau Aiguille. Ciao!
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