Topic: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier! (Read 38449 times)

R^2 · « **Reply #40 on:** March 08, 2013, 09:42:35 AM »

This bad mofo is the Diva. Is it a trap laid by Joker? Is it Yorkland's Angel of Legend (and thus, perhaps, "Deva")? Is it a manifestation of Cube?

You'll never know.

It's a surprisingly hard fight, given how generally-incompetent your characters are in this scenario. However, BoundShot -- the most powerful Gun move -- combos into itself.

That's the stuff. Meanwhile, Emelia gets FIGHTIN' MAD

YOU COME INTO MY CHAPEL IN MY FAKE WEDDING AND ATTACK MY BRIDAL PARTY I DON'T THINK SO BRIDEZILLA TIME

Why yes, I did teach Rouge BoundShot (and Twogun, doubling its power) for just such an occasion.

Liza knows it too, but I forgot to equip it. She settles for BabelCrumble, which can take the variables BoundShot sends. If she moves last -- and she usually does, because another Gun skill is QuickDraw, or "you move first if you're shootin' folks" -- she can top off the combo with one of her trademark throws.

That's the stuff.

Diva's first form likes to use StunGaze, DeathGaze, and CharmGaze in a turn, or a set of electrical attacks. The second form just hits hard with GroundHit, HeatSmash, GaleAttack, and other powerful moves.

It was at this point that I realized Rouge, the Diva's favorite target for this fight, ran out of LP -- I can't target him with curative items. And uh, I forgot I had that LifeCandy to restore his LP.

NBD though. The next four-hit combo of BoundShot, BoundShot, BoundShot, BabelCrumble did the trick.

R^2 · « **Reply #41 on:** March 08, 2013, 09:46:12 AM »

Annie, are you OK? Are you OK? Are you OK? Annie, are you OK? Are you OK? Are you OK?

Hint: It's Ren. This plot twist is well-telegraphed and the dumbest part of this entire parade of dumbfuckery.

R^2 · « **Reply #42 on:** March 08, 2013, 09:51:30 AM »

Liza: Emelia... You're...
Emelia: What was I fighting for?

zero.jpg

Emelia: I could've stayed just another unhappy, ignorant woman.
Roufas: No one knows what will happen in the future. No matter what you decide to do, you're bound to have regrets.
Emlia: Cheery thought.
Roufas: Sorry.
Emelia: Are you apologizing? Do I look that depressed? Annie, I... can't take it any more.

At this point Annie and Liza rush up to Emelia and the screen goes black. For a second it looks like Emelia threw herself off the cliff.

Roufas: No more for you. I can see it in your eyes, you can't fight anymore.
Liza: You've suffered enough.
Annie: It might sound a little weird, but it was fun, Emelia.

Roufas: No, you must forget us. You never worked for Gradius, you don't even know about such an organization. That's an order.
Emelia: My last order. Yes, sir.

Liza: She's become strong.
Roufas: This is the way it had to be. C'mon, let's go.

R^2 · « **Reply #43 on:** March 08, 2013, 09:53:23 AM »

Hey, who's that green-haired guy beside Emelia, there?

One down, six to go.

(In the good ending, Emelia shoots the mask off of Joker in an uncharacteristic display of marksmanship. The green-haired guy beside her in the ending montage is Ren himself. According to Japanese-only supplementary materials, though? Emelia saves Ren and then doesn't marry him.

)

R^2 · « **Reply #44 on:** March 08, 2013, 05:45:34 PM »

The greatest lie SaGa Frontier will ever tell you:

R^2 · « **Reply #45 on:** March 09, 2013, 01:50:57 PM »

Official character art? Official character art. Here's Emelia in her nonsensical commando getup, which doesn't make her nearly as good with that giant gun as you're led to believe.

And here's Emelia in her final-battle wedding dress. It's a different costume but doesn't change her talent tree, so if you go into the chapel in the Pink Tiger outfit, you can spark Liza's techniques in the fight against Diva.

Annie, as we saw her in the between-chapter interstitial. Thigh-length bright-green socks, Annie? I just... I just don't know where to start with you. Well, you can put down those kama before you hurt somebody, that'd be a good start.

And Liza. Her leggings looked like such a rational brownish color in her game sprites...

The three ladies of Gradius (the Ladius?) all together.

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

Ren looks like a douche. Emelia's probably better off without him anyway.

Commander Mondo, who we will not be seeing again.

Fei-On, who doesn't have a part in anyone's story as much as I can remember, so might as well post his art here. Kick, punch, it's all in the mind.

And Emelia in a different style.

R^2 · « **Reply #46 on:** March 09, 2013, 02:00:02 PM »

With Emelia's scenario we've covered just about all there is to cover about humans, including her weird-ass talent switching that isn't implemented quite right. BUT ANYWAY let's talk about ROBOTS oh man you guys this is gonna be so awesome.

This is the region of Junk. Sounds nice, doesn't it?

Our story begins with a young boy sifting through the garbage.

And switches to the command center of some sort of region ship in the middle of a battle.

A blurry display, with terrible tracking.

GAAAAAHHHHHH!!

R^2 · « **Reply #47 on:** March 09, 2013, 02:06:33 PM »

Saga Frontier - Junk
I didn't post any music at all for Emelia's game, because... well, the game's soundtrack is pretty good but can be pretty hit-or-miss. Also I just plain forgot to.

Boy: And after finally finding a living core!
Octopus: That's how it goes. I had to make this with scrap parts.
Girl: Was the core really alive?
Octopus: See for yourself. There, you can move it.

Octopus guy throws the switch!

Tesla rocks!

...nothing happens!

Boy: You were thinking of selling him, sis?
Girl: Of course! Even the worst core can bring in at least a month's rent.

It's alive! Or whatever passes for "alive" for mecs.

The robit walks back and forth, then dashes back and forth.

Attack: Deplorable
Defense: Deplorable
Movement: Deplorable
goes in a loop here.

This line also repeats.

Then the robot hops off the workbench and you're free to move it around.

R^2 · « **Reply #48 on:** March 09, 2013, 02:13:36 PM »

Robit: Thyme... State your rank and class.
Thyme: I don't know.
Robit: I'll call you: Sir Thyme.
Thyme: Heh, heh, Sir Thyme. That's weird.
Girl: No more talk, Thyme. Go find some scrap parts!
Robit: State your rank and class, miss.
Thyme: Hah... He called you Miss!
Girl: Shut up, Thyme! I'm Rosemary, Thyme's big sister. You can call me Rose.

Must be a gas leak somewhere.

Octopus: Ha, ha, ha... yeah, something like that.
Thyme: Stop teasing, Uncle Taco.

I think you mean "Tako", as in the Japanese word for octopus. Unless they're playing off the rosemary-and-thyme puns and are shooting for an incredibly oblique "Taco Seasoning" joke here.

Rose: That's Uncle Taco. He knows lots about mecs and machines. In fact, he assembled you.
Robit: You are an engineer, Sir Uncle Taco?
Thyme: Ha, ha! Sir Uncle Taco... Now there's a classy name.
Taco: Don't put "sir" in front of everything. Just call me Taco.
Rose: What is your name?

I'm not typing all that shit out.

Rose: What'll we call him?

Name entry screen!

I do not follow your logic.

Sure, I guess.

R^2 · « **Reply #49 on:** March 09, 2013, 02:22:57 PM »

I can only imagine the sort of hell I'd have raised if I got a massive robot following me around at the age of eight (or whatever Thyme is supposed to be).

Thyme: Let's go on an expedition. We're the Thyme Expedition Team! And I'm the Captain.
T260G: Yes, Sir Thyme.
Thyme: No, Captain Thyme. You know, like Captain Kirk.
T260G: Yes, Captain Thyme.

Just outside of Taco's workshop (which I guess is also Rose and Thyme's home but w/e) we meet a skeleton berating a mec for doing a poor job of scrounging decent scrap parts, and the mec complaining about its pay.

Dude, harsh.

There's also this transaction.

R^2 · « **Reply #50 on:** March 09, 2013, 02:29:34 PM »

Junk isn't very big, although it's not the size of the Junk that matters.

...

...anyway, there are four areas in Ju-- this region: the port, the combat arena, the crater scrapyard, and the town we just came from.

The crater is our first stop...

Captain Thyme: What is your mission?
T260G: Class S top priority mission. Exact directives cannot be confirmed due to internal memory failure. Must confirm exact details of mission.
Captain Thyme: Sounds really difficult.

...to find T260's old body. While Taco's newly-constructed body for her is... well, new, the core is over thirty thousand years old. Whoa.

This is the sh-- eh, never mind.

Here T260G stares into the sky and considers her priorities.

R^2 · « **Reply #51 on:** March 09, 2013, 02:40:52 PM »

Oh god

Too many jokes

joke overload

Abandoning phrase "Junk battle arena"

...

...

...beep.

Whew. Close call.

Captain Thyme: Gen!
Gen: Oh, it's you, Thyme. Is that yours?
Captain Thyme: Yeah, I found the core in a crater and Taco re-assembled it for me.
Gen: Looks pretty good.
Captain Thyme: It's a combat model.
Gen: Oh yeah? Are you gonna let it fight today?
Captain Thyme: Well...
Gen: If it's a combat model, it's gotta be strong. I'll bet on it. Now go kick some booty!

Sure enough, there's fightin' to be done.

I don't think it matters what it was before, a robot turns into a combat model the instant you bolt a goddamned bazooka to it.

After each fight, you get a prize. It is imperative that you take each one back to Taco to fix.

The Bumper is a simple defense boo-

--and by "defense boost" I mean it adds to HP and Vitality too.

And there's the basics of Mec stat boosts: they gain nothing after battle. Their equipment determines their statistics. Better equipment, better stats.

Oh yeah, there's also a cash purse to be had for each fight.

Your mom's a nice he-- oh. Sorry.

R^2 · « **Reply #52 on:** March 09, 2013, 02:45:42 PM »

Mec: Where are you going?
Skellington: I'd say that's none of your damn business.
Mec: Ohh...

"So here you're!"

heh heh

Rose: How many times do I have to tell you not to come here!? What if T260G breaks?
Thyme: ...Don't worry. He's really strong.

...and canonically a "she", Thyme.

She's talking about the noise from the other room, not Thyme's flatulence.

There's a robot in the combat arena!

Um, one that's not supposed to be!

beep what about all that stuff from before about my core breaking?

Thyme: T260G can't handle that monster!
Rose: What about it? Can you beat him?
T260G: Repeating command: Attack enemy mec.

R^2 · « **Reply #53 on:** March 09, 2013, 02:52:02 PM »

If you didn't take back all the broken parts and have Taco repair them, this fight is more or less unwinnable. You have only one RepairKit (remember, Mecs can't be cured by standard restorative items), and without the extra defense and maximum HP from the Bumper and the JunkHelm, you can't weather the enemy Gatling's attacks for long.

I don't remember what was actually happening in this shot, but I like to think the guy's just going "OH GOD HE HAS A BAZOOKA I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS"

You can do enough damage with the EasyRifle to take Gatling down pretty quick. The JunkBazooka has only one shot, and punching him does approximately jack shit, so I meant it when I said you needed those repairs from Taco.

I don't know what you're talking about. I was awesome.

T260G: Thank you, Sir Taco.
Taco: And no more of that "Sir" business.

Rose: Even if you don't really look like a terminator...
T260G: Thank you. Miss Rose, where is Captain Thyme?
Rose: Captain Thyme? Does he make you call him that? He'll never grow up.

Lay off the boy, he can't be more than ten.

Rose: He went to find some parts for you.

Hell yeah I am.

Seems legit.

R^2 · « **Reply #54 on:** March 09, 2013, 03:06:11 PM »

T260G: Something?
Rose: Go help Thyme!
T260G: Roger, Ms. Rose.
Gen: I'll go, too.
Rose: Really, Gen?

Gen joins the party. He is, in short, the best swordsman in the game. If you get to lategame and feel like teaching him a few utility spells (LightSword, ShadowServant, something like that) he can do okay with a little magic. But mostly you want him cutting things up with the sharpest sword you have.

...not that we have a sword to give him right now, and he doesn't come equipped with one. Well, he's a decent martial artist, too.

Captain Thyme's hat! You can't be a captain without a cool hat! We've got to get this back to him!

Short dungeon sequence: begin.

Silly ghost, mecs are immune to most status ailments. They certainly don't sleep, so your Hypnosis is useless.

R^2 · « **Reply #55 on:** March 09, 2013, 03:10:00 PM »

Shortly...

Thyme spins on the end of his rope, then goes limp.

There you're!

Yes, Gen is about to beat someone to death with a metal pipe.

There's also a slime and a skeleton in this fight, but they're speedbumps at best. SUCK COMBINATION BAZOOKA/SWORDPIPE TECHNIQUE!

wait hold on

Did he just cut the rope with a pipe?

R^2 · « **Reply #56 on:** March 09, 2013, 03:14:56 PM »

T260G: Request permission to travel to other regions.

Shot down.

Thyme: You can't abandon your captain.
T260G: Confirming last mission is top priority in my program.
Taco: He's got a point. You can't get any information or decent parts around here.
Rose: Thyme, don't you think T260G has done enough for Junk already?
Thyme: I know that!
T260G Impossible to depart without captain's permission.

Thyme storms out.

I do not understand this thing you humans call "sarcasm".

Gen: He's a mec so I don't think he did it out of gratitude. He must've figured out it was the right thing to do. Don't worry, I'll take good care of him. Now I'm going to go talk to Caballero.
Thyme: Can we really trust you, Gen?
Rose: Don't drink anymore!

You never notice in the region transition screens where you're flying in this kind of ship, but it looks a lot like a jet-powered beetle.

R^2 · « **Reply #57 on:** March 09, 2013, 03:16:57 PM »

Oh god no, Tanzer attack

...maybe some roofied-up supermodel stashed somewhere?

I like to think that if Gen ever sobered up, he'd actually get worse at things like most people do when they get drunk.

R^2 · « **Reply #58 on:** March 09, 2013, 03:21:32 PM »

I do not understand this thing you humans call "discomfort" either.

So we head to the part of town every adventurer goes to when they need to gather information.

T260G goes into another long technobabble diatribe (utterly lacking in line breaks) here, of course.

R^2 · « **Reply #59 on:** March 09, 2013, 03:26:25 PM »

Mei-Ling: You're interested in Caballero, too?

"T260G explained the situation in terms even Emelia could understand."

Mei-Ling and Riki both join. Mei-Ling is good with guns and magic, less so with martial arts and swords. Her stat growth is geared toward Quickness, Intelligence, and Will. Riki is a monster, and thus nigh useless.

T260G: Collecting data.
Layabout Vagrant: I'm from Yorkland and don't know much about this region.
T260G: Then, good-bye.
Layabout Vagrant: Wait, what's your story?

News:

Author Topic: Plots to Make Fun Of: Seven of 'Em! -- Let's Play Saga Frontier! (Read 38449 times)