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[R^2]

Polsaurus: It causes creatures to evolve in strange ways. We don't depend on it. We evolve in the right way, with steady effort. Look at my excellent head butt.

Evolution doesn't work through steady effort, Lamarck's theories had been considered incorrect even when this game was new. On the other hand, Darwinian evolution doesn't change a single creature's body instantly to the benefit of that individual in the middle of its lifetime, so we may be dealing with an alternate universe's rules here. (The ten-foot-long bees in the last chapter may also be a clue.)




Anyway, Polsaurus spend most of their time headbutting each other and knocking themselves into a daze, but if they lack another Polsaurus nearby they'll try to headbutt you instead. They don't do a whole lot of damage, have only 3 HP, are easy to catch off-guard, and are worth 20 EP a pop. I eat dozens of them.

What? Dinosaur parts are expensive.

[R^2]

Syrocosaurus: ...will become angry with you as well!


Like the knife-wielding middle-aged Asian ladies in Vance's apartment, the Syrocosaurus is best avoided. (Attacking her causes her to counterattack, and she can't be killed.)

[R^2]

I'm gonna crosspost this part onto the Brosoforumus! These guys have something like 40 HP, and will take at least three hits to kill no matter what. If you don't reduce them to 0 HP by the third bite, they get FIGHTIN' MAD and start smacking you around with their heads.


So until you can kill them in three hits, they too are best avoided.




When threatened, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasaurolophus take a couple deep breaths and blow a loud honking noise through their head crests. It does damage out to about half the screen, but not much -- the only Defense improvement I have is on my tail, and it still hits for only 1 damage.

They're worth 50 EP each, though. I eat dozens of them.

Dinosaur parts are expensive!






Segosaurus attack by... waving their back fins at you. Only after you hit first do they try to defend themselves by swiping their spiky tails.


Armor body, Longtailed Birds' Jaws, Edasaurus Fin, Ptenadon's Crest, Nautilon's Tail. Seems legit.

[R^2]

Prime Frog B: What an insolent Syrocosaurus child!
Syrocosaurus Child: Stop it! I don't like it!
Prime Frog A: Ahh! Reptiles are coming! Run!
Syrocosaurus Child: Help me!


Exeunt all, stage left.


Nowhere to go but back.


Oh.

Hi.


Mother of Prime Frog: Is it you who scared my children?

They were being dicks to some dinosaur kid, so yeah.



Mother of Prime Frog: Well, you must know... We are the Prime frog family. Even reptiles fear us. I will teach you a lesson. Attack, my children! Attack!


At which point a massive hole opens on the Mother's back...


And baby frogs start hopping out of it. Nevermind that baby frogs don't normally do much hopping, being entirely aquatic.


Anyway, this battle is easy. If you charge in and tackle the Mother before she can spawn too many babies, she leaps away.


You can catch her with another tackle as she lands, making her leap again. It's why I took agility-boosting jaws and stuff, to make sure I can keep up with the generally-airborne frog.


She's easy to pin down so she doesn't spawn any more underlings, and since you're doing damage every time, it's not too long before she explodes into a cloud of frogspawn.


Which are delicious, of course.


Invincible Tail, Pronesaurus Fin, Horned Helmet. Aw yeah.

[Ted Belmont]

[R^2]

I'd never noticed they spelled it "Doamin" there.






nom nom nom






Man, I wish I could grow fins whenever I go underwater.


Nautilons trawl the seafloor here, acting much like the trilobites in Chapter 1. If you get close, they bounce around and ricochet off you. They're even deadlier if they happen to bounce rapidly between the floor and your underside before you can get away.


The Plesusaurus themselves aren't worth commenting on.

[R^2]

Hey, it's that place nobody ever shuts up about!


The ptenodon here will grab you, carry you off the cliffside, and drop you to the ground. Not only does it hurt, you have to start your climb over again.

Assholes.


Ramming them off the cliff myself doesn't make me vindictive, does it?


Whisper A: ...to the sky world. Try to jump into it without hesitating. But if something goes wrong in there remember it was your choice!


Didn't I spend the last several minutes trying not to fall off a cliff?


I mean, what was all that even for? This place is stupid.


Arrgh!










Order change in the middle of a chapter? Crazy!

But yeah, I'm back to 0 again.

[R^2]

Being a bird opens up this new area, on a mountain you presumably have to fly up.




Deltadium: Choo.. Oh, enemies are coming!


And they run away.

[R^2]

Also I forgot to come back here when it was situationally appropriate, but the Syrocosaurus will tell you the legend of Mt. Brave if you return after rescuing the little guy from Prime Frog. Namely, that reptiles who jump from the peak turn into ptenodons.


There's this cloud that's been drifting around the world map. Did you notice? If you, as a bird, enter a level while the cloud hovers over it, you enter the cloud instead of the level in question.


It's a Cloud Maze! And a maze it is, illuminated only by lightning. This is as bright as it gets.




I happened to get a screencap of the transformation while lightning flashed. Dramatic!


And suitably so! (Another bolt of lightning!)


Bitchin' rad.


The rest of the cloud maze is featureless corridors, so I can skip the screencaps.


River of what now?


Holy shit you guys I'm a dragon and I just flew into outer space this game just got 500% more awesome.


Some space rocks are hollow inside and you can fly into them.


"Beneath us" as a double meaning, I assume.

Whoever that is: They don't understand creatures with intelligence will rule the land, not creatures with strength.

And in the next asteroid...


That other guy: ...beneath would be severely damaged!

That sounds bad.


Oh. That's comforting.


Inside this brick-and-mortar structure built inside an asteroid is another red crystal.


Nanna nanna nanna nanna

And in the last asteroid...






Holy shit was that an alien: ...power for my brain.

...

I just accidentally walked in on a dinosaur getting information beamed into his brain by an alien in a little spacesuit.

[R^2]

I'll take that blue crystal, though.






Birds have slightly different options than dinosaurs for some body parts. But those 9999 points go a long way! So Tyrasaurus Jaws, Feather Body, Longtail Bird's Tail, Tritops Crest, Pronesaurus Fin.




The Tyrasaurus Jaws make it possible to eat the Nautilons before they bounce away. They're worth 500 EP each, so I can build up a pool of EP without much hassle. And uh, extend my neck.

[R^2]

Pronesaurus: ...a long time since we have seen a daredevil. Let us howl to inform the other Pronesaurus that a stupid creature is approaching.




Ooofff!


I'm a bird. What can they do?

Pronesaurus. Even the Japanese here was a-n-ki-ro-sa-u-ru-su. Where the hell did they get "Pronesaurus"?






Omosaurus: ...come here! Tyrasaurus will be upset unless we defeat it. Let's go.

Poor guys, they finally got a dinosaur name right and it's obsolete. Granted, even when it was called Omosaurus it looked not much like... that. They could have called it Allosaurus and called it a day.

I'm still a bird. The Omosaurus are more aggressive and can jump around a bit to grab me out of the air, but eh.

[R^2]

End of the map. What do you think comes next?




Tyrosaurus: ...actually here. We are the Tyrasaurus.

"We have no idea how to spell our own names."

Tyro/asaurus: In this world we are the strongest creature to receive power from the crystal. Defeating you will be as easy as lifting a baby.

...can you lift anything with those tiny arms?

Tyro/asaurus: But, you seem to have promise. Well, will you join us in ruling the world?


Seems legit.




We shall take a look at your future. No one will go against you anymore. You can continue to eat them all. Thousands of years have passed... and then...


Please help! This is the way the Dinosaurs, once prosperous, were annihilated.


...be a fossil and exhibited in a museum.

[R^2]

Okay, so by joining the Tyrannosaurs I can eat whoever I want for thousands of years, then I die in a meteor shower. I can eat whoever I want regardless of the stupid Tyrannosaurs, and I can probably avoid dying in the ice age, too!


As if sensing my intent, the Tyro/asaurs attack as soon as I enter the level now.


Tyro/asaurs will jump up to snatch you out of the air, but it's well-telegraphed and they can only hit on the way down. By hovering so that your head is just above theirs, they'll leap almost directly into your bite. Four bites takes one out, but there are ten of them to defeat.


It's such a long fight it takes all day and all night.


Once you beat ten enemies here...


Gaia: ...apart! It is about to fall to the ground! A great number of rocks are dropping! Hurry up! Hurry, get out of here!

[R^2]

Gaia: ...a very dense cloud blocking out all of the sun light.


Gaia: ...could not bear the cold weather and passed away. This is a sad incident referred the "Extinction of the Dinosaurs". It will be talked about for generations to come.


Gaia: You have a chance to become one.

[R^2]

You know the drill.

EVO tip: Evolution is slowing down in this age. Reptiles change very little and they will have few enemies. You must be careful! Evolution is slow among the mammals. You will struggle against strong enemies. Someday you may evolve into a creature known as a "Human Being".

Homo sapiens? Sounds gay.






The cave is full of g-g-g-g-GHOSTS! But they're happy ghosts, so w/e man

Syrocosaurus Ghost: ...we have weak bodies. Syrocosaurus family over there has something to tell you.


Other Syrocosaurus Ghost: I was also ordered to check if you deserve to become a Mammal. In order to make you a Mammal, we have to use some of our "Spirit Power" called "Hope" from our people who have been defeated.

what does that even


Man, I hope "You are too much of a snide asshole to be a Mammal" isn't a thing that can happen.


Whew.

Syrocosaurus Ghost: You will not be able to return to the form you are in now if you decide to become a Mammal.




Syrocosaurus Ghost: ...era!






So there you have it. Mouserat starts off with an extra point of Bite power over other starting forms, possibly to make up for being automatically shifted to a small body size.

[R^2]

Choo!

A: I am afraid there are dinosaurs still alive.
B: They will not be able to withstand the cold. They will perish soon.
C: I would be more interested in the white two legged creature living in the West Continent. They are defeating the mammals trying to evolve. I am so scared!

Deltadium are readily edible, but not worth much EP.






You can go over the mountain or through it.


Inside Mt. Snow are some bull Ikustega.




Tritops: difficulty, leave us alone!
And... Tritops. Yeah, those were post-midboss enemies in the last chapter, but they show up before you have much of a chance to evolve here.


But here's the thing. The lower level of this cave is littered with platforms, and the Tritops can't hit you unless you're on the same level they are.


But you can hit them! Here I am showing off a Mammal's kick attack, as a mouserat bucks its tiny back feet into the ass-end of a Triceratops. Somehow this causes actual injury. To the dinosaur.


Tritops are still worth 90 EP each.




Guess that means it's time to review evolution options! Cat, Dog, and Fierce Jaws just give bite power -- Fierce Jaws are the best in the game, setting your Bite to 20. The rest give less Bite power in exchange for other things: Rabbit Jaws give extra Agility and Jump, Horse Jaws give even more Agility and Kick, Hippo Jaws give Strength and Kick, and Rhinocerous Jaws give Strength and Kick. Kicking is something Mammals are supposed to be good at, I guess.

If you get Rabbit Jaws, any Back of the Head evolution you have is replaced by bunny ears.


Horns. Same stuff. Each level is +5 more horn power.


Extending the neck is a cheap option, and since it has no direct effect on your stats, it's a good go-to for when you're low on HP.


Rabbits are good at jumping, Horses are good at kicking, and Rhinocerouses are built like a tank but lose Agility and Jump.

And the Ramothecus body is a , but if you follow that Wikipedia link you can damn well guess what it's for. But it's greyed out now, I can't select it.


The Mane adds +5 to Bite. All the others are linear progression to HP, Strength, and Defense. The Bull Horn is the best, at +5 HP and Strength and +7 to Defense.


But the Mane is a cheap +5 to my basic attack, and makes me look like an adorable little lion! Awww!


Grr! Rawr!




The Y button on the SNES is your go-to bite attack. The X button is the "eat" button. When an enemy is defeated, the meat it drops floats up to your mouth level -- but if you have a long neck, you lunge forward with your bite attack and miss your meal. Pressing the Eat button doesn't move your head at all, so it's more convenient than using the bite attack to eat meat.

Or you can jump up and eat it. Or not ever grow your neck out. You know, whatevs.


Dog Jaws and Horse Body. Guess I'm done here.


The last area of the cave has some porcine creatures in it. After eating a glut of Tritops they're not worth the effort to kill.


Wow, that was a long post. Serves me right for doing all my evolving in one of the longer levels in the game.

[R^2]

The Hynodon aren't at all interesting. There's a wall of ice blocking further progress, though, and that's new.


Oh well.




Brososaurus: ...difficulty, leave us alone!

Cool story Brososaurus.




I don't really need the EP but I'm strong enough to Brontoeatemus without fear. So I do.




Oh dear.

Tyrasaurus: Oh! The Yeti are coming! What! Oh, my mistake. I feel better now.


And then they fucking murder you.


Gaia: I will revive you. Please keep this a secret from my father, the Sun. Your EVO.P has been reduced slightly.

By half, specifically.


And you're booted back to the world map.


Things go slightly better this time.


Well enough to grow my body, actually.

[R^2]

Balrium: ...it is too hot for us Mammals to survive here in the desert.


Man, I can really send things flying with a kick attack now.


Wait, where are you even




EARTH DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY


Penguins slide on their bellies for a tackle attack.


Seals remain asleep if you leave them alone.


(pffffff yeah right)

[R^2]

And finally, something I realized as I took these screenshots:

...well, they could color her pink or give her tits and eyelashes, I guess.

[R^2]

Anyway, back around the donut-shaped globe and back to... here.


My, that's a large pole indeed. (That's what she said.)












And I'm pulled up into the magic cloud castle.