Topic: Enough expository banter! Now Let's Play Final Fantasy V Advance! (Read 23614 times)

R^2 · « **on:** August 17, 2013, 07:48:36 AM »

You can pretend you didn't know I was going to do this, but I don't believe you.

In the first game, the peace and prosperity of the world depended on the crystals, and they were corrupted. In the third game, the peace and prosperity of the world depended on the balance between the crystals, which got unbalanced. In the fourth game, the peace and prosperity of the world depended on the crystals, which were stolen as a means of teleporting a massive superweapon from the moon to the Earth. So... let's just assume things do not augur well for this set either, shall we?

An asteroid, looking rather less like an overgrown potato in this version, flies by the screen and into the void of space. Thus begins...

One of the several Final Fantasy games that wasn't released in the USA when it was new, Final Fantasy 5 was glossed over for reasons Square hasn't exactly made widely known. Final Fantasy 2 was passed over because repeated references to hell and the creatures therein wouldn't have flown in the USA, Final Fantasy 3 because it was late in the NES's life and focus was shifting to the SNES. Final Fantasy 4 came over as Final Fantasy 2, and Final Fantasy 5 wasn't brought over or given an official English translation until that really terrible PlayStation Anthology release.

Final Fantasy 5 Advance does things quite a bit better than Anthology. So off we go.

R^2 · « **Reply #1 on:** August 17, 2013, 07:52:30 AM »

A castle...

...at dawn.

...with the drake seen in the intro sitting on its balcony.

Lenna: Do you really have to go?

King Tycoon: Under no circumstances are you to follow me, do you understand?
Lenna: But, Father...
King Tycoon: Something is wrong with the wind... I must go to the Wind Shrine to make certain nothing's happened to the crystal.
Lenna: Yes... I've noticed it as well. But, to go alone is--
King Tycoon: Lenna. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Have faith.

R^2 · « **Reply #2 on:** August 17, 2013, 07:57:05 AM »

It's a very minor graphic effect, but this man's hair stops blowing in the wind before he hops up onto the bow.

Cut to an old man in a cave, who has to hurry.

The Crystal on its pedestal explodes, filling the room with glittering shrapnel. The King of Tycoon is shredded in an instant.

R^2 · « **Reply #3 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:01:52 AM »

The scene cuts to a young man warming his hands over a campfire. Within a moment, there's an earthquake that startles him out of his... well, whatever he was doing.

It's not an earthquake, it's...

...a meteor strike!

The young man hops on his chocobo, who kicks out the campfire before heading off.

Most Final Fantasy games make you wait a bit before they let you ride a Chocobo. This isn't one of those.

Not this way...

Ah, there it is. Rather than an impact crater, this meteorite has left a giant rut in the ground where it skidded to a stop. Meteorites generally don't work that way, but whaddyagonnado?

Go have a look and see if there's a bug from the future who tells you about your destiny, of course!

R^2 · « **Reply #4 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:06:17 AM »

Freed from the worry of overworld encounters, the man dismounts his steed.

What's this? Monsters are carrying away that princess from the prologue!

The man leaps to her rescue! Anita Sarkeesian would be appalled!

They're just goblins, but they're an okay tutorial battle to point out that the active-time thing that debuted in Final Fantasy 4 is here to stay.

Wait until the meter fills, then choose your attack. In this case, the unnamed boy has only "hit things with sword" and "drink potion" as options.

R^2 · « **Reply #5 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:16:19 AM »

...you don't even know?

"Bartz" has become series canon, as referenced in the character's appearance in Dissidia. But in Japanese, it was "Battsu", translated as "Butz". It's safe to say this was modified to Bartz because it doesn't sound quite so much like "butts".

Since he's the only nameable character in the game, I'm not taking votes on what his name should be. Brentai vs. Golbez was weird enough last time.

Bartz: Guess it's a meteorite.

Oh, it bears mentioning: Bartz is kind of dumb.

Lenna: Again, I give you my thanks. I wish I could do something more to show my appreciation (

), but I really must go...

Bartz: Huh?
Offscreen voice: Oohhh...

R^2 · « **Reply #6 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:22:37 AM »

Over there, in the woods! I see a chest that has a Phoenix Down inside!

Oh, and I guess there's this old man who also got beaned by the falling meteor.

Old Man: Where am I... Oh... my aching head!

Old Man: Ehh...? I can't remember anything!
Bartz: Looks like you hit your head pretty bad... Maybe you got amnesia.
Old Man: Oh! Something came back to me... My name is Galuf!
Lenna: That's a start! Anything else?
Galuf: ... ...Nope, just the name! Other than that, my memory's a blank slate...

"Thanks for saving me from those monsters doing god-knows-what to me while I was unconscious, and sorry for your swollen meninges and lack of memory, but I have shit to do."

Lenna: I must go to the Wind Shrine...
Galuf: The Wind Shrine! Now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure that's where I was headed! It's decided, I'm going with you!
Lenna: But...
Galuf: I could never let such a sweet girl go all by her lonesome. Plus, I know I've gotta get to that shrine... I feel it in my bones. You've gotta take me with!
Lenna: Bartz, what about you?
Bartz: ...Sorry, I'm gonna bow out on this one. Good luck, though.

R^2 · « **Reply #7 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:26:07 AM »

Boko and Bartz run around... the same tiny area of the world map again.

One small valley cuts to this scene instead of passing right over, though.

Boko screeches to a halt, forcing Bartz out of the saddle and into the stone wall.

Bartz: ...Now don't you give me that look.
Boko: Kweh! Kweh kweh!
Bartz: ...I know, it's just a girl and an old man... And with all those goblins around... Fine, I got it, I got it.

The boy and his chocobo's conversation is cut short by another earthquake, this time with pitfalls all around.

Lenna and Galuf can be heard screaming from offscreen.

Bartz and Boko to the rescue!

Niku · « **Reply #8 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:26:12 AM »

Well shit, now I have to continue my Four Job Fiesta game and finish it before you finish this.

Which I need to do anyway since I've got like two weeks left. :3c

R^2 · « **Reply #9 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:27:30 AM »

Goblin ambush!

Daring leaps over yawning chasms!

Goblins press the attack!

Boko scoops up Lenna and Galuf... somehow! It's so exciting.

R^2 · « **Reply #10 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:47:20 AM »

A bit later...

Lenna: Bartz! It seems I cannot escape being in your debt...
Bartz: Hey, don't worry about it. The shockwave from the meteor's impact cause landslides... The road's covered in rubble. I don't think you're gonna be able to make it to Tule that way.
Lenna: But... if I can't get to the Wind Shrine, then...
Galuf: Uhhhh... Wind Shrine... gotta hurry...
Bartz: The old guy's pretty dead set on getting there, too... All right. I'll go with you and personally see to it that you get there safely!
Lenna: Oh! Really?
Bartz: Yeah! You know, it was my dad's dying wish that I go out and travel the world... Plus, this time, it feels like -- like the wind is calling me.

Bartz: Wha-- You're awake?
Galuf: Don't sound so surprised. This old dog is always ready for anything!

Galuf: Still, the road is blocked, that makes things a slight more difficult...
Bartz: Hrm...
Lenna: ...I won't give up. There must be a way to reach the Wind Shrine!
Galuf: Right! And we'll find it!
Bartz: All right! Let's ride!

Boko runs forward and hops up and down in his shared enthusiasm.

You're free to ride through the little valley once more, only this time there's a bit of mountain shifted away into walkable terrain.

R^2 · « **Reply #11 on:** August 17, 2013, 08:58:51 AM »

Bartz: Probably opened up during one of those quakes. Boko, I think this is gonna be a little too dangerous for chocobos. You stay here, okay?
Boko: Kweh!

Newbie cave time.

Combat reveals that Bartz is equipped for trouble with a longsword. Lenna is slightly less so, carrying only a little knife. But Galuf, addled as he is, is barehanded.

It's a healing spring. You can jump in to fully restore your HP and MP. They're mostly a series callback to the springs that were a lot more common in Final Fantasy 3 -- I can only think of two in this game and two more in the next.

The guy in the purple bandana shows you how to use switches. The chest to the left, more obvious than the Phoenix Down chest at the meteorite, shows that you can step into the space behind walls in some places.

Inside the chest is a leather cap. It gives bonuses to defense, but increases Equip Weight -- and that's bad. Equipping heavy things makes you somewhat slower to act in combat; for a given Speed statistic, the person with the lower weight will move faster. It only matters in multiples of eight and even then doesn't have a very big effect, so mostly it gets ignored in favor of all the other things equipment can do.

Peeking out of a hole in the cave wall reveals a ship sailing across the sea. That doesn't seem unusual, except...

Right. No wind to fill the sails, and motorboats don't exist yet.

R^2 · « **Reply #12 on:** August 17, 2013, 09:09:26 AM »

This looks like a cheerful place...

Lenna: I wonder if they'd give us a ride?
Bartz: Um, I think the only ride they'd be interested in would be a keel-haul for all three of us.
Galuf: Yeah...you can't ask a favor from a pirate! That's why we'll just sneak on and steal their ship!
Bartz: Whoa! You're pretty gusty for an old-timer.

I take back what I said before about Bartz being dumb. Nobody in the party is very smart.

Bartz thrashes at the helm for a moment. Nothing happens.

Bartz: I know that! The wheel won't even budge. How do you work this thing?
Offscreen voice: Try working anything and there'll be the devil to pay!

Faris and his crew actually run onscreen. I just missed the screenshot before the text box covered them all up.

Faris: ...or mayhap you're just lacking in brains! I'd wager it's the latter.

Bartz and Galuf are shocked, but we knew this already from the prologue.

Lenna: Sir, this is a formal request from the kingdom of Tycoon. Please, allow us the use of your vessel. I must get to the Wind Shrine - my father is in danger!
Faris: Oho, the princess of Tycoon, here on my ship? I'm sure we could fetch a good price for this one.
Bartz: Hey! Leave her alone, you degenerate, lecherous, piratey...pirate!
Lenna: I beg of you, please...

Lenna glimmers, and a pendant appears on her tiny character sprite.

Y'arr!

R^2 · « **Reply #13 on:** August 17, 2013, 09:14:22 AM »

Galuf: Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do. What genius came up with the idea to steal a pirate ship, anyway?
Bartz: Look in the mirror, Pops.
Galuf: ...Ohh, my aching head! I can't remember a thing!
Bartz: ...And your amnesia oh-so-conveniently returns. Still...I can't believe you're really the princess of Tycoon, Lenna!
Lenna: I'm sorry... I didn't intend to keep it a secret.
Bartz: It's not that big a deal. But, if you're the princess, why were you going to the Wind Shrine all alone?
Lenna: My father is there. He hadn't been gone long when the wind slowed down to almost nothing... I just can't shake the feeling that something terrible is happening. I slipped out alone to head to the shrine, but then that meteorite fell, and...you know the rest.

Faris has a change of heart, frees his captives, and sets sail for the Wind Shrine. The crew is slow on the uptake, so some threats are involved.

Faris: Full of curiosity, aren't you, lass? Syldra! Come up and say hello!

Faris: Beautiful, isn't she? Syldra and I were raised together. We're close as siblings. All right, we're off!

So we are!

MarsDragon · « **Reply #14 on:** August 17, 2013, 09:17:34 AM »

Quote from: Niku on August 17, 2013, 08:26:12 AM

Well shit, now I have to continue my Four Job Fiesta game and finish it before you finish this.

Which I need to do anyway since I've got like two weeks left. :3c

Yeah, me too. SMTIV kind of came out and destroyed my urge to play FFV.

R^2 · « **Reply #15 on:** August 17, 2013, 09:27:15 AM »

A pirate offers to sail directly to the Wind Shrine so you don't get lost, but brief exploration of the sea reveals there's also a town you can visit.

What a quaint little town. I'm gonna stand right here at the entrance until someone comes and talks to me.

You there! Quit wandering in random directions and get over here!

Took you long enough. Thank god for fast-forward emulation.

Okay, now we can explore the town a bit.

Huh? Why would we forget about you while we're buying weapons and armor?

But after we finish our shopping, Faris... vanishes!

Most of the townspeople have nothing important to say, not even from a world-immersion angle.

Well, that's interesting.

Bard-in-training: Long long ago, in the canal to the east/ a big ol' ugly monster was having a feast! It ate lotsa people -- 53 at least -- but the good guys used the crystal and sealed the beast! Oh yeah!
Bard-in-training: ...My granddad says he's sorry he told me the story... but you guys liked it, right?

R^2 · « **Reply #16 on:** August 17, 2013, 09:30:25 AM »

Is it? How'd that happen?

Going back to the town entrance shows the cutscene that we skipped by warping to the tutorial room. The pirates run into the pub, and Faris joins them, explaining why he pops back in to do shopping and vanishes again afterward.

Er... what?

Approaching the stage starts the dancers a-dancin'...

Leading to Bartz getting a triple-lapdance.

With the dancers out of the way, Bartz takes a moment to practice on the piano.

R^2 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 17, 2013, 09:37:40 AM »

McDohl · « **Reply #18 on:** August 17, 2013, 09:39:51 AM »

so gay

R^2 · « **Reply #19 on:** August 17, 2013, 09:41:05 AM »

Sorry, you'll never be as intimidating after the two other dudes in the party got all dewy-eyed seeing you asleep.

Bartz: Someone you know?
Lenna: Yes. He built the Torna Canal.

You locked yourself in your room, what did you expect us to do?

Back to sea, then.

Hmm... that forest is full of giant stone monoliths. I'm sure it's nothing important.

We can reach the canal, too, but can't get past the gate.

That place looks pretty Wind Shrine-y.

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Author Topic: Enough expository banter! Now Let's Play Final Fantasy V Advance! (Read 23614 times)