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[R^2]

He gives the same summoner's challenge we've seen so many times before.


Peekaboo!


Guys guess how you beat Ifrit


Go on guess




Here is a hint he is a fire-elemental creature




Hooray.

[R^2]

DETOUR TIME


HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT HUH


And no more lip out of you!


While I'm back in Walse, I go ahead and loot the basement through the clever trick of using Quicksave files to avoid random encounters.

[R^2]

Thing about the Page monsters in the Ancient Library is that they're a surprisingly rich source of blue magic. Page 32 casts Aera (not Aerora as I'd called it before ), Page 64 casts Level 5 Death, Page 256 casts Moon Flute (berserks all enemies). Page 128 is the turd in the punchbowl -- it doesn't have any blue magic, instead using Slimer to slow and sap a party member. Since these battles take forever, having an enemy constantly draining your party's HP is a pain... doubly so if you've killed the 128 and are waiting for the next monster to cast its blue spell.




Anyway, the bookshelf gets out of your way once you have Ifrit with you.


Oh, and before you're done? There are scripted encounters with the same damn page-flipping enemies as you've battled a dozen times before.


Lenna: Mid?
Galuf: Stay on your toes! I have a bad feeling about this place!


The guy up top doesn't even turn around when books fly off the shelves and try to kill you.

[R^2]

So if you were wondering why the monster that joins the party at the end of Midlight's Deep in Final Fantasy Tactics is named after the Latin word for "book", here's why. He's a callback to this bad larry.


But dude is a book. Books, as heavily implied in previous NPC conversation, burn quite readily.


Ifrit obliges us by burning the possessed books, too.


Despite his obvious and easily-exploited weakness, Byblos isn't a pushover. He can confuse  and do some serious partywide damage with Wind Slash.


He can even get so sick of taking a beating that he casts Protect on himself.


Oh, and he counters Ifrit with Toad. So there's that.


The easiest way to win is to hit him with Death Claw, if you managed to score that in Karnak before it asploded. The second easiest way to win is to break a Fire Rod for the Firaga spell it casts. I did things the hard way, though.


Byblos: Very soon, the master's seal will be blown wide open!!!


Byblos gets a new "defeat" animation when he dies.

[R^2]

Bartz: Don't tell me you were engrossed in that book the whole time!?
Mid: What whole time? Now that you mention it, I did hear some rustling behind me... Oh, was that you?
Bartz: !?
Lenna: ...!?
Galuf: You've gotta be kidding.
Faris: A strange bird, this one...
Mid: Whatever...guess it's time to go back, huh? You guys coming too? I know a shortcut.






I'm not even mad at how dumb this is because it means I don't have to go back through the Library basements.


Scholar: Thank you for finding Mid!
Scholar: Thank goodness you're back!
Mid: Huh? You came to save me? I dunno what I needed to be saved from, but it was nice of you anyway. Oh yeah! Look at this!


Mid: I found the most amazing book! Check it out... I bet with this method, we could repower the fire-powered ship! I've gotta tell Grandpa Cid about it right away!
Bartz: Cid?
Mid: Oh, you know of him? He's my grandfather. Grandpa is so awesome! When he's researching, he's unstoppable -- he never gives up until he's found the solution!
Faris: Maybe that's how he was in the past, but now...
Mid: What're you talking about?
Faris: I'm just saying... He sure is acting like he's given up now...
Mid: What!? He would never do that!


Mid snatches up his book and runs out.

I, on the other hand, go back into the basement for a bit. I missed Aera and Moon Flute, and no one's eligible to learn Level 5 Death (which is, yes, done the hard way).

[Mothra]

A vast, ancient library's a pretty cool place for a dungeon. The dungeon itself isn't particularly well-done, but it was a cool idea.

Getting some serious Wan Shi Tong Library vibes, too.

[R^2]

Bartz: Cid!
Cid: ...
Lenna: Mid isn't here?
Faris: Come on, man. Pull yourself together!
Cid: Leave me alone... Don't waste your time on a worthless old lump like me.
Mid: Grandpa!




Mid tries to literally beat some sense into Cid.


Cid: Mid...
Mid: You always told me not to be afraid of failing... That if you messed up, you just had to start over and try again... What happened to that!?
Cid: Mid... Mid... ... Just try again... ... Mid! You're absolutely right!
Mid: Of course I am!
Cid: It's not over. The earth crystal is still out there!
Bartz: Yeah, but where?
Cid: That I don't know. But we've got to find it and protect it! And to do that...
Mid: We'll need the fire-powered ship! I'm right, aren't I?
Cid: Yes... We'll need the fire-powered ship moving again. But without the crystal...
Mid: Way ahead of you, Grandpa. Just look at this!


Cid: All right! Let's get to work!
Mid: Yeah!


Hooray, everyone! Cid's back!

[A²]

I just used Level Fuckery to get the L# spells, since I'd always end up not being the right level for them when I got to them naturally.

[R^2]

So everyone goes belowdecks. You'd think we could go back to Karnak and have a drink or something, but no, we have to be on the ship while they're working on it.


Faris: Yes...you do look even stranger than usual.
Lenna: Galuf, are you all right?
Galuf: My head... It was like I could almost remember...






Mid calling for Cid reminds Galuf of that girl calling Galuf the same thing. You know, the girl that Siren summoned an image of? Galuf even remembers her name!




Mid beating sense into Cid further reminds Galuf of Krile horsing around on the castle parapet with him.


Bartz: Galuf! What happened!?
Lenna: Did you remember something!?
Galuf: I'm...I'm not from this world!
Bartz: !?
Galuf: I warped here through a meteorite from another world. Because... The evil we'd sealed thirty years ago was beginning to reawaken... So I came to stop it...
Bartz: Evil is reawakening?
Galuf: That's right... Big, bad evil, too -- the dark warlock, Exdeath!

That's a dumb name. "Exodus" from the Ivalice Alliance doesn't make any more sense, but still seems a bit less dumb.


Unnamed speaker: No doubt about it! The power of the four crystals is gathered here!
Another unnamed speaker: Perfect! We'll use their power to seal Exdeath here!


Oh, so those four stone monoliths are Exdeaths seal! And they've been disappearing one by one as the crystals shatter, so, uh... hmm. Yeah.


Lenna: So... If all four crystals are destroyed, then Exdeath's seal will be broken as well?
Galuf: Right... Ughhh...my head...

[R^2]

There's some dialog here I'm skipping because we're all in agreement that Cid and Mid are terrible and deserve as little screen time as possible, right?


With all this shipping we're about to do we might as well sign up for a Tumblr account.


Close examination of the map -- the towns and locations pulse on and off in a way totally not shown in this screencap -- reveals a few places we haven't been. The dimmed cross icon in a small sea in the top-left quarter of the map is our current location, just south of Karnak. There's a town northwest, a few places far to the south, and a chain of islands to the southeast -- one of which has a town on it.


This is one of the games where you get into random encounters at sea. Most sea creatures are weak to electricity, but the Thunder Anemones are set up to take advantage of you assuming that: they absorb the stuff.


Everyone's been talking about how super-awesome Jachol is way down south, so that's where we go first.


Almost everyone is talking about the caves to the north. Adventuring into them is big business here.


Not everyone talks about the caves, but most people do.


Kid: It really is shaped like a crescent! How ingeniously appropriate!


There's another piano to practice on. Bartz is getting noticeably better! The first piano in the game had him struggle to play a single scale, now he's getting down rhythm and pacing.


OKAY JESUS I GET THE HINT I'M GOIN' I'M GOIN'

[Niku]

Leonard Nimoy - The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins [FULL VERSION] - best quality

[R^2]

...after we explore the ruins ourselves, of course.


They're full of simple traps and tricks, like this hall of switches. Periodically, all the switches but one will disappear.


You have to run and flip that switch before the rest reappear to open the way forward.


Most of the fights in this cave are with three Nutkins, the overworld monsters that were an easy fight back when I left the Wind Shrine and started running into them. Wait hold on, everyone's a Geomancer?


Yeah, because every once in a while you run into this Jackanapes-like creature, the Skull Eater. It has only one hit point, but can do well over 1000 points of damage with its attacks, and has crazy-high defense and evasion. Even if you can land a hit, there's almost no chance to damage it.

Oh, and if you do hit it for nulled damage? There's a chance it'll split into six and the group of carnivorous squirrels will absolutely murderkillsteamroll your party.


There are three reliable ways to kill them: Throw something at them, which never misses and does extra damage. Control them as a Beastmaster and have them turn their terrible squirrel-fangs on themselves. Or have the earth itself rebel against its own mistakes, because for whatever reason Gaia effects do full damage to the adorable little death machines. Stalactite kills them outright, Ignus Fatuus (Will-o-Wisp or Faerie Fire in other games) will confuse them into biting themselves to death.


The reward is not much experience, not much gil, and 5 ABP -- more than any other random encounter battle in the world. If they split into six Skull Eaters and you kill the whole party, you get ten ABP instead.


The treasure chests in the cave have largely been looted already, but deep within the ruins is a Shuriken and a Blitz Whip and a Cottage. The end of the dungeon takes you... to a dead-end on the world map.

If you released Lone Wolf from his prison cell in Walse, you don't even get the treasures. He's already emptied the chests by the time you arrive.

[R^2]

There's another little village in the top-right corner of the map.


It's Istory, a town where very little of interest is going on.




Walk in a circle around the flowers...


...and you scare a toad out of its hidey-hole.


Yay.


Fire Rings absorb fire, resist ice, and are weak to water. Coral rings absorb water, nulls fire, and are weak to lightning. Angel rings give better defensive boosts but only resist Old and Zombie status.


The locals warn of a monster dressed like an old man in the eastern woods.


Challenge accepted!




The sheep boots Bartz right over the fence.


The bard behind the sheep's pen -- I'm not gonna ask any questions -- teaches Romeo's Ballad, a song that charms those who hear it -- and I'm still not gonna ask any questions. Now if only I had a job that could sing...


Of course there is. Istory Falls is a major landmark, and where there's a waterfall, there's a hidden cavern to explore.

[R^2]

The monster in the eastern woods turns out to be another familiar face.


With a familiar strategy.




I really should not have brought a party of geomancers to this fight.


Ramuh: What are you doing here?
Ifrit: Lord Ramuh! I see you have become even more powerful. If you would lend that strength to us...
Ramuh: Ifrit! No need to say more. You and I have never been enemies!


Winning nets you a summon emblem for Ramuh.


There's another town we haven't been to yet, but it's surrounded by mountains and we can't cross those with any mode of transportation we've found.

[R^2]

One of the islands in the southeast corner of the map, shaped somewhat like a key, is one of my favorite grinding spots in the first world.


Black Flames always attack in groups of five, reliably cranking out decent levels of experience, gil, and 3 ABP per fight. They take regular damage from fire, ice, and lightning, are weak to water, and absorb everything else, but they only have 220 HP so they're easy to kill with Aqua Breath or a reasonably-powered summoned monster. Ramuh called by a summoner holding a Thunder Rod does the job nicely.


Geomancer is one of the quickest jobs to master, so everyone does that.


Her strength and speed didn't change much, but Lenna-as-a-Freelancer has vastly improved Magic now. That sort of stat boost is the benefit of mastering jobs and switching back to Freelancer.


Black Flames know Dark Spark, which halves the target's experience level. That tends to significantly drop stats, and rounding off the result may make an enemy vulnerable to level-based blue magic they weren't before.


Blue Mage takes a while to master, but everyone has some experience in it already. It's not long before Galuf, my most dedicated Blue Mage, picks up Scan to master the job.

[R^2]

Bartz and Lenna finish off their levels of Blue Mage, Galuf gives Ninja a spin, and Faris tries her hand at Beastmaster. Doing so lets me go out in search of the Prototype, yet another super-overpowered random-encounter monster.


He's a hell of a fight without a Beastmaster, but he's a sucker for !Control.












The reward is a few hundred EXP, no gil, and 4 ABP. Oh, and a Dark Matter. Those are otherwise rare, but Prototypes are easy to find, easy to kill, and always drop one. Here you go, the hidden stuff that makes up 90% of the universe's mass! Don't drop it!

[R^2]

It really is shaped like a crescent! How ingeniously appropriate! I really love how you have to pilot the ship through the entrance of the natural harbor to get to the town, since it's inaccessible from any coast but the inside curve.







HOW DID IT EVEN GET OUT THERE


I CALL BULLSHIT ON THIS CONTRIVANCE


Cid and Mid are gonna be pissed they worked so hard to get the ship to run and I sink it almost immediately. Actually "immediately" if you go straight to the next plot point -- this one -- without visiting Jachol or Istory or grinding out Black Flames and Prototypes.


"And people only occasionally die in the constant earthquakes! What a great place!"


Bows and harps lyres? Sounds like another job upgrade is coming soon.




As I understand it poorly-balanced gameplay and uninspired level design led to rather poor sales.


The bard teaches Mighty March, which casts Regen on every one in the party. And you don't even have to get kicked by an ungulate to learn it!


The bard has yet another piano to practice on.

[R^2]

It's a black chocobo! They're not extinct after all! So Bartz immediately runs off to go catch it. He's impulsive like that.




The music starts a triumphant brass fanfare...


The chocobo struggles for altitude...


And the music gives out as the chocobo crashes to the ground.




Faris gives the bird a couple of whacks on its back, and...


It horks up a couple of crystal shards. They must have been blown all the way here across the globe from Karnak, then swallowed by a chocobo for some damn reason!


Anyway, we collect the crystal shards for the heavily-hinted at Bard and Ranger jobs.

[R^2]

Music: Mambo de Chocobo


He can do better than fly! As the music warms up he does a little moonwalk...


...waves his wings around...


...struts back to center, waves his wings in the air like he just don't care...


Huh! The black chocobo can indeed fly, and is limited to landing in forests like in Final Fantasy 4. He can even go over mountains, although not the taller snow-capped peaks in some areas. This opens up almost the entire world map -- only once area is left that is cut off by mountains but doesn't have a forest to land in -- so I'm not sure why that detail was added in the first place.


The black chocobo lets us into this tiny village that we were cut off from before, for example.


I hardly know 'er!

[R^2]

A free night at an inn can only mean one thing: midnight cutscene!




Bartz: Meet my mom.
Faris: Eh?
Bartz: You know, I was born here in this village. Mom passed on when I was still young... After that I traveled with Dad for a long time. But three years ago, he got real sick...




Bartz: He always wanted to be buried here with Mom. Dad was so strong...
Faris: A father, huh... wonder what that's like.
Bartz: Faris?
Faris: Let's head back. Lenna'll worry if she wakes and finds us gone.