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[R^2]

Moogles can communicate telepathically, so the one Krile keeps as a pet tells her where her grandpa is. Oh, Krile can talk to moogles, by the way.




The wind drake tells Krile he's up for it. Oh, Krile can talk to wind drakes, too.








This whole scene is dumb.

[R^2]

Anyway, the Wind Drake flies everyone back to Castle Bal, where Galuf is king.


...see?


Galuf: What's the situation on Exdeath?
Soldier: There's been no activity since the barrier went up.
Galuf: I see... And our troops?
Soldier: They've been almost entirely wiped out by Exdeath's monster hordes...
Galuf: ...
Soldier: I'm sorry, sire.
Bartz: Eh? I thought you were just some crazy old man -- you never said anything about being a king!
Galuf: ...Well, you know!
Bartz: This sure is a surprise and a half!
Galuf: Good job, men. Go get some rest.
Soldier: Yes, sire!
Galuf: Bartz, what is it? You've still got that funny look on your face.
Bartz: It's you -- a king! I still can't get over it, that's all!
Galuf: What, you saying I'm not the epitome of kingliness?

Bartz nods. Galuf, the epitome of kingliness, then chases Bartz around the throne room.

Bartz: Just kidding! I'd just better mind my P's and Q's around you... King Galuf.
Galuf: ...Listen up -- before you knew me as a king, you knew me as a friend. Just "Galuf" is fine.
Bartz: Understood, Just Galuf!
Galuf: ...Don't push it, kid. Here in Bal, bad jokes like that will get you PUNished...
Bartz: *groan*
Galuf: Haw haw haw!






Yeah, anything is possible so long as it can be contrived.





Really? He seemed like kind of a boob to me.

[R^2]

He's right!


But the allure of the Castle Bal basement isn't the door, it's the random encounters. Object d'Art attack in groups of two or five. They have strong physical hits, but they're slow. And being creatures of stone, a single petrification-curing Gold Needle will kill one.


So will Level 5 Death. Object d'Art are really lousy monsters for the part of the game they're intended to be fought, but they're still better than other monsters available now. Even better, two of them are worth a reliable 4 ABP, while five together are worth 8 ABP at once. That's boss-level gains out of common random encounters!


I spend rather a lot of time grinding up job levels for everyone.

[R^2]

Sounds like it's time for another needless sidequest! The wind drake, already injured from the Battle at the Big Bridge, overexerted himself flying to the Moogle Village and back.


But does such a thing even exist in this world? Wind Drakes tend to roost where it grows, so we should try there. Wind drakes used to roost up at Drakenvale! We'll go check!

There, I just saved myself so much typing.


There's some quarrel over whether we'll be eaten by all of Exdeath's monsters teeming around outside the castle, but Galuf gives the order to let them out, then bar the gates and never open them for anyone, ever, no matter what.

Dumbass.


All that's outside is an Abductor and some Big Bridge monsters, anyway.

[R^2]

Galuf: Bartz, calm down! They're our allies!
Faris: If our allies are pointing blades at us, I certainly don't want to meet our enemies!

[R^2]

Galuf: Kelger!
Kelger: It's been quite a while, has it not?
Galuf: Sure has! Ah, Kelger here's one of the four Dawn Warriors.
Bartz: He fought Exdeath with you, thirty years ago?
Kelger: Who are the younglings?
Galuf: Folks from the world where we sealed Exdeath.
Kelger: Friends of Exdeath!?
Bartz: Huh!? Wait--
Kelger: These cads are the ones who destroyed the crystals and brought Exdeath back... and you've led them here!?
Galuf: You've got it all wrong, listen--
Kelger: Stand down, Galuf!
Kelger: Bartz, or whoever you are -- prepare yourself! I would test your blade!

I no longer care if Exdeath destroys this world, because everyone in it is stupid.


...and it's contagious.




Kelger then zips around Bartz in circles, eventually closing in for a hit.


After a couple of times, Bartz starts concentrating...


...figures out where Kelger is...


...and body-checks him out his own back door.


You did no such thing. And he started it!

[R^2]

Galuf: Hell's bells, Kelger, always overdoing it! Why don't you act your age, for once!
Kelger: Still... to foil my lupine attack so easily... You're more skilled than you seem.
Bartz: Nah. It's just a trick I learned from my dad.
Kelger: From your father? What was his name?
Bartz: Dorgann. What? What're you making those faces for?
Galuf: No way... you can't be...
Kelger: Dorgann's son...
Bartz: Um, Dad's name was Dorgann, and I'm his son, so... What's going on?'
Galuf: Well! Small worlds we live in, huh? Bartz, your father, along with me, Kelger, and Xezat Surgate- we fought together against Exdeath.
Kelger: Dorgann was one of the four Dawn Warriors.
Bartz: Wait... Dad's from this world!?
Kelger: Correct.

Well, that explains why Bartz is so dumb, then. He's half-thisworldian.




Now that the big reveal is over, these flashbacks can show Dorgann from the front.

Dorgann: How much punishment can he take? Even when we knock him down, he won't STAY down...
Kelger: We'll have to seal him here.
Xezat: Yeah... that's our only out.
Dorgann: What -- seal him here!? We can't just leave a demon from our world in another!
Xezat: What other choice do we have?
Kelger: Look sharp, lads, he's recovering!
Galuf: Damnation!
Kelger: Now there really is no choice. He must be sealed, and we may not get this chance again!

[R^2]

Bartz: ...Wow. That's... huh.
Kelger: How fares old Dorgann anyway?
Bartz: Three years ago, he got real sick, and... well.
Kelger: I see... My sympathies. Son of Dorgann, anything you ask of me shall be done! You need only name your request.
Bartz: Actually... If we could get into Drakenvale...
Kelger: I will have one of the villagers unlock the gate.




Ah, so we finally learn the name of the werewolf from Karnak. Poor Tsuze!




This wolf teaches Requiem, which turns the nominally-useful Bard into an undead-slaying machine. Requiem deals magic damage to all undead creatures at no MP cost.

[R^2]

Outside of Quelb are monsters called Kornago. They are frogs. You can probably see where this is going.


You have to catch one to bring back to the guy in the Quelb well.


The guy who is apparently a drug dealer.


The Kornago Gourd is an acessory that lets the holder !Catch monsters at 1/2 HP instead of 1/8. So that's nice inasfar as I ever need to catch monsters.

[R^2]

Surprise, there are new monsters here.


Including one that springs out, whaps someone, and immediately flees. That happens... semi-regularly.


Hey, it's that guy!


And the enemies are turning on him! Yeah! Give 'em hell!


Nah, that's not true. Bartz as a Chemist keeps the mysterious rock-man alive while the other party members kill the undead dinosaurs.


Golem: It'd rock if I could roll along with you!


Now we can learn the Golem summon. When summoned, Golem gains a damage pool equal to the caster's current HP. From then on, incoming physical attacks come out of Golem's damage pool instead of doing HP damage to the party. He's a powerful protective summon, and it's a shame recruiting him is so damned obnoxious.

[R^2]

In this nondescript pile of refuse is the Bone Mail. It's got one of the best raw defense stats in the game, as armor goes, at +30. It also prevents myriad status ailments and halves ice attacks. The problem is that the user becomes weak to fire and holy attacks, too, and once they're dead, they can't be revived. So I'll be selling this off once I get back to a town.


The path through Drakenvale has only one snag, in a section where you have to find a pit to reach a switch to move the mountain outside.


After that, it's pretty much a straight shot to the end.




Lenna: Grass isn't supposed to attack people!
Faris: That's no grass, that's a beast! A foul, leafy demon!
Galuf: This must be why all the drakes are extinct!

[R^2]

All the Dragon Pod does is summon little sprouts. The Dragon Flowers do physical hits that have a chance of causing various status ailments. But the Pod itself is vulnerable to Death Claw, it turns out...


Meaning it's one !Kick away from death.


Once the Dragon Pod is defeated, we're free to pick the non-mutant dragon grass for Krile's Wind Drake.


On the way out, a Drippy is kind enough to teach us Magic Hammer, a blue spell that halves its target's MP.


Heh heh. You said "taint".

[R^2]

Everyone.

In this world.

Is stupid.




Plan B is much like getting into Castle Baron when Kagnazzo is in charge. Go into the moat and take the not-quite-hidden passage back inside.


I like my castles like my women: with easily-exploitable defensive gaps.




Everyone. Is stupid.

[R^2]

Krile: Gr...Grand...pa...
Galuf: Hang on, dear!
Krile: He's...calling...
Galuf: Shh, don't try to talk.
Krile: ...Calling... Ghido is calling...
Bartz: Ghido?
Krile: Hurry... go find Ghido, please...
Bartz: But who's Ghido?
Galuf: A sage who has lived for over seven hundred years... Ghido's the one who prophesized that the crystals in your world would break.
Bartz: And he's calling her? Like, pyschotically?
Galuf: ..."Psychically," Bartz. Anyhow, the sage might know some way to defeat Exdeath!
Krile: ...
Galuf: Hang in there, Krile. We're gonna go see Ghido, so just hold on a little longer.
Krile: Mmm... but... have to... use the wind drake...
Galuf: Don't worry. We've got dragon grass in spades.
Krile: Really!? ...The drake's resting at the top of this tower...
Galuf: Will you come with me?
Lenna: Certainly.
Faris: Like you needed to ask.
Bartz: Where do we find this Ghido, anyway?
Galuf: He lives on a small island. It's in the ocean northeast of Drakenvale.


The drake refuses.

Bartz: That grass killed off all the wind drakes...no wonder he doesn't want to eat it.
Galuf: It doesn't matter if he wants to...he has to! With wounds like these, if he doesn't hurry and eat that stuff, he'll die!
Lenna: It's all right. Look, you can eat it, see? I'll have some, too.
Faris: Lenna! Are you insane?
Bartz: Lenna! Did you forget? Dragon grass is poisonous to humans!
Lenna: Here, now you try...


Yay!


Oh, right.




Krile's eyes sparkled with the colors of the rainbow as the gave Lenna the antitoxin. It's a good thing she kept some dragon-grass medicine on hand for occasions like this! She tossed her wavy blonde hair over her shoulder. "Don't do things like that!", Krile scolded, "That's incredibly dangerous!"
Galuf put a strong hand on Krile's shoulder. "Krile, are you sure you should be up and about?" He always got so worried about her, but she was fine! "I... I'm okay..." she said, struggling heroically through the headache. Sometimes telepathic contact with the worlds greatest sage could be such a burden! But Krile was strong. She could make it.


Even when the pain was enough to make her swoon, Krile didn't want anyone to fret over her. She could endure her hardships alone. "Don't... don't worry 'bout me...", the Mary Sue said, dropping a syllable to sound even cuter.

[Zaratustra]

I had forgotten how quickly plot points come and are resolved in FF5.

[Classic]

I'm still grinding AP on objet d'arts.

[R^2]

So now I have a hale-and-healthy Wind Drake.


It takes a while to find the way off the continent with Bal castle and Drakenvale on it, because there's only one narrow pass through the mountains leading to the sea.


As promised, there's a small island with a cave just to the northeast.






Like the peninsula holding up Walse Tower, the island sinks into the sea.




Everyone manages to escape on the Wind Drake, but uh... what now?

[R^2]

Galuf gets us in -- you may remember Surgate, mentioned in passing, is the last name Xezat, of one of the first set of Dawn Warriors who sealed Exdeath away. So he and Galuf go way back.


But Xezat is away, sailing his navy off to Exdeath's castle.


Inside Castle Surgate's library is an old book with half its pages missing. Sounds awfully familiar...


If you help this old lady clean up, she opens a passage that eventually leads to the Float spell.


N... not really?


Now that's a lead!


Xezat's bedroom has a bard spell in it. Galuf says Xezat used to sing it all the time, so apparently he was a quick little guy.


There's really not much to do in Surgate other than learn there's half a Sealed Tome there and learn the Float spell and Swift Song. So off we go to the sea just east of Exdeath's castle, where a fleet of warships sails.

[R^2]

Galuf: Xezat! How the devil have you been?
Xezat: Managing, barely. These friends of yours?
Galuf: This is Dorgann's son, Bartz!
Xezat: Dorgann's...!
Galuf: The ladies are nobility from the other world.
Xezat: Well met. I'm the swordsman Xezat.
Galuf: Oho? Not "King" Xezat?
Xezat: Ehh, I don't think it suits me all that well.
Galuf: Sure doesn't! Har har har! I'm the same way. So, can you get us into Exdeath's castle?
Xezat: Ha, you're halfway in already! For now, go below deck and rest for a bit. The fireworks'll start soon enough.


As invited, the party rests. For a bit.


But before long the ship pitches and at least two of them fall out of bed. Monsters are attacking! What a surprise when we're this close to Castle Exdeath!

[R^2]

Music: Battle on the Big Bridge, Dissidia version.


The wind drake has taken to the air to stay safely out of combat. It's not like there are any monsters that can fly, after all.


Xezat: Exdeath... Somehow he's gotten the jump on us!






Galuf: Surrounded...
Xezat: Leave this trash to me.
Galuf: Don't blow it this time!
Xezat: I think that's my line! Rahhh!!!


Xezat struggles with a winged monster, leaping from ship to ship. Meanwhile you gain control of the party, and are free to engage the Gobbledegucks that have attacked. They're... not significantly stronger than regular goblins.


He takes a moment to zap a goblin running about...


But the main monster keeps tagging him.


Meanwhile, the party reaches Gilgamesh, standing boldly and proudly on the bow.