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[R^2]

Back in the subterranean castle, there's another feature in the basement I skipped before. It's a statue of Maria! How did this get here?


Oh wait, no, it's limited graphic resources.








Odin is obsoleted: Crusader teaches his Meteor spell ten times faster, and Cactuar gives a better level-up bonus. So I transformed Odin into Raiden.

Raiden teaches Quick at x1. He gives Strength +2 at level up, and his Shin Zantetsuken is more likely to kill stuff when he's summoned. He's a bit of a poor man's Gilgamesh now, but Gilgamesh wasn't in the SNES version of the game, so back then it actually became a sort of tough call whether you wanted to level up with a Speed bonus or learn Quick. Of course, you could just level everyone up to the maximum, then transform the magicite and start learning Quick... if you wanted to invest that much time into things.

[R^2]

People seem to be doing pretty okay, overall... I mean... their stats could be better, but I only just now got the magicite that gives really good bonuses. Hell, for the first third of the game I only had Stamina +1 or Magic +1... if that. So... eh. I think I could do better. I'm starting over.


I mean, I'll save my progress in case things aren't markedly better, of course.






Dum de dum...


La dee dah...


Seen all this before, yep...


Glossing over old stuff...


Doing this over does give me a chance to try some stuff I didn't think to do before. Ever tried to take Terra to the Sealed Gate by herself?


Or just skip over Shadow until he's forcefully introduced at Albrook?


Well, buttons.


Guess it's back to my last save...

[R^2]

Which is... back... outside... Maranda. In the World of Ruin.


This is the legendary level-reset bug. If you save your game, then quicksave to return to the title screen, and then start a new game, the game gets really confused about which of the two games you're playing. If you never save in the new game, and party-wipe, you're returned to your last save in the previous game.

You keep all your spells. You keep all your items. You keep all the espers, Bushido techs, Blitzes, Rages, and Lores...


...and even the stat boosts from the first game. But every character who got recruited in the second game gets reset to the experience level they had in that game. In this case, Terra was at level 20 when the party wiped in the mountains in Thamasa, so she's back to that instead of the level 63 I had her at before.

Cyan, Edgar, Sabin, and Setzer reset even further: they're at level 13. Gogo and Umaro, not recruited in the other game, don't reset. They're still at level 64 and 63 respectively... but who cares, they don't get esper bonuses at level up anyway!


Ah, there we go. Now that's a decent set of stats!

[R^2]

So voting is still open for the endgame dungeon runs, but it almost hardly matters in game terms anymore.

Terra is strength 75, speed 70, stamina 70, magic 110. She can fry fifty monsters in just three minutes... if she stops to do her nails first.
Locke is strength 110, speed 80, stamina 65, magic 75. He'll rip your lungs out.
Cyan is strength 115, speed 40, stamina 75, magic 85. In a game where pretty much everyone is statted to hit the damage cap with any single attack, his ability to charge up and hit four times is not to be scoffed at.
Shadow is strength 120, speed 100, stamina 60, magic 35. While he now knows all the spells available, he can throw shuriken instead of spellcasting. That's probably good enough.
All the ladies swoon over Edgar's 125 strength, 60 speed, 100 stamina, and 35 magic. Like Shadow, I see no reason to have him cast spells instead of using his own abilities.
Sabin is a pure damage-dealer at 125 strength, 55 speed, 50 stamina, 125 magic. He can probably hit damage cap with any attack Blitz he knows.
Celes may be the closest I have to a generalist (or is that... former general-ist?) at strength 80, speed 70, stamina 75, and magic 100. She can fight and she can cast and she can crow, but she still has kind of a crappy unique skill.
Strago is strength 45, speed 85, stamina 45, magic 120. Yep, that's a magus all right.
Relm is strength 30, speed 90, stamina 75, and magic 115. She remains a Terra backup, because Sketch doesn't even call her own stats -- it uses the strength or magic of the monster she's sketching.
Setzer is strength 40, speed 110, stamina 80, and magic 100. He has Fixed Dice and Joker Death, it's not like his strength and magic actually matter for anything he does.
Mog flies through the skies with 120 strength, 40 speed, 50 stamina, and 95 magic. Like Cyan, this adorable dragoon knight can hit multiple times a turn, and like Cyan, it takes him a few seconds to do so.
I never know which way to go with Gau. Most of his good moves are magical in nature, but while raging he has a 50% chance each turn to do a physical hit. So I gave him strength 100, speed 80, stamina 50, and magic 105. His raw hitting power may well have obsoleted Catscratch... now I need to find a rage that does reliable nonelemental damage to all enemies instead.
Gogo didn't reset and couldn't get esper bonuses even if he did, so he's still at strength 25, speed 30, stamina 20, and magic 26. I do get to customize his skillset, though.
Umaro's lack of esper bonuses likewise holds him back. He's strength 62, speed 33, stamina 46, and magic 37. Even willowy Celes is stronger than he is, and Mog can effortlessly beat him in arm-wrestling now. And while he used to be one of the faster party members, Cactuar's been awfully good to everyone else. So he's just plain outclassed. Sorry, buddy.

In terms of being able to win the game, it hardly matters who's in the party anymore. Everyone's an unstoppable god-beast in their own way. Voting is still open and I'm pretty sure I left everyone the option to change votes if they feel like it. I still need two guys to bench while everyone else goes to save the world.

[R^2]

All that level griding sure did leave me a lot of Impartisans.


They can be bet at the Coliseum for Cat-Ear Hoods, the best helmet in the game for Relm.


Cat-Ear Hoods, in turn, can be wagered for Rename Cards, which in turn transform into Miracle Shoes. So now I have six or seven of those! Because if there's anything scarier than an unstoppable god-beast, it's an unstoppable god-beast with auto-haste, -regen, -protect, and -shell.

But otherwise, Shadow will probably be throwing Impartisans rather than Fuma shuriken for any party he's in. That "attack power only applies when the user's an imp" thing isn't called when the weapon is thrown, so they hit awfully hard.

[R^2]

This scene plays out when you enter Kefka's Tower for the first time, but the storyline in the second half of the game is so weak, why not hold off on showing it until I'm ready to storm the Tower for realsies?

[R^2]

Cyan and Shadow stay behind. You guys have only yourselves to blame.








Remember how somebody said that Kefka's Tower is made of debris? Some of it is recognizable as areas from previous points in the game. Mostly from Vector. Since the Tower is halfway between Albrook and Tzen, it's believable that the Tower is built on top of Vector's ruins.


In Kefka's former cell is this familiar-looking fellow.


It's Ultima Weapon, back with more power and a dumber name!

Ultima Buster: Forged an eternity ago and left here... Forgotten in the mists of time... Long have I pondered what I should do... Long, long have I pondered... But now it seems I have an answer...


Ultima Buster glows, and the gears in the machinery on his back begin spinning. Apparently if you have a thousand years to try to decide what to do, "kill the first people you see" is the decision you come to.

[R^2]

Locke nabs a Crystal Orb. It's a rare steal, but I already got one from beating the Gold Dragon and all it does is increase the equipper's maximum MP by 50%. Everyone's MP is 999 from the level reset bug, so...






Ultima Buster is fond of -aga level magic, Southern and Northern Cross (one is fire, one is ice), Tsunami, Quake, Meteor, Flare Star, Flare, and eventually... Ultima. Strago uses Grand Delta and Setzer tosses dice. Hardly seems fair, does it?


Who said life was fair? Next!


Ultima Buster was sitting on a save point.


The third party has a mostly unobstructed path to get to this checkpoint. There are two switches on either side of a sealed door. Hmm...!

[R^2]

Back with party two, here's this guy. Dark Force! Well, Dark Force is the one on the bottom who looks like Wrexsoul. There's shades of Azulmagia in this guy, since he knows almost all the blue magic in the game.




...okay, that went poorly.


Blinds, silences, and slows anything that has Reflect status up. I don't think in twenty years and literally dozens of playthroughs I've ever cast it, honestly.


Casts Holy on monsters with a level divisible by a nigh-random number.


Now we're talkin'.


Quasar is only cast by two monsters in the game, so getting it can be rough. It's... about as good as Grand Delta.

[R^2]

Team two helps out team one. Team one has two obstacles in their path, one each for the other teams to clear for them. Needy bastards.


Team two reaches the checkpoint.


Team one keeps getting caught by Fiend Dragons, which have a nasty habit of casting and recasting Heartless Angel. Heartless Angel drops the whole party's HP to 1. It gets tedious to stop and refill everyone after every fight, even with Gau Raging Magic Urn to get Curagas for free.


Ah, there we go. Teams two and three open the door for team one to go through.


Team one can then climb up to the ledge above and drop an Ultros-style weight onto the switch so that team two or three can go through the door, loop around, and do the same for the team that remains.


Because there's another three-switch checkpoint inside.

[R^2]

Oh yeah, I forgot there was one more Magitek robot I owe a hidin'.


Guardian is vulnerable to attacks now. There is no explanation for why this is the case.


Guardian loads several "battle programs" as the fight goes on. Initially he attacks with Magitek Laser, Atomic Rays, and Missile -- typical Magitek robot stuff. But before long he loads Ultros's battle program, and starts hitting with Ink and Tentacles and Entwine. Weird. He also has programs for Dadaluma (Shockwave and thrown weapons), Air Force (Diffractive Laser and a countdown to Wave Cannon), and Ultima Weapon (Flare, Meteor, and Flare Star).

Oh, and turns out sketching him does Mighty Guard. So that's cool.


Regardless of battle program, Guardian is as weak to wind and water as any other mech. 60,000 HP go awfully fast when I'm doing just shy of ten thousand per Thundaga from every party member.


Guardian was also perched on a save point.

[R^2]

And then I cast Teleport to leave.


...and rearrange the parties.


I'll skip over the third dungeon crawl for the sake of brevity and get right to the point after the Guardian fight. Having just taken a nap in the middle of Kefka's stronghold, the party continues to find... one of the Warring Triad. Um.


Demon's favorite trick is to hit somebody with Stop, then use Blaster on the person locked in time so they can't dodge the instant-death attack. Failing that, he'll just blast everyone with Metal Cutter, Flare Star, Meteor, or Wave Cannon. But sometimes he... does nothing for a turn. What is this, Dragon Quest?


You can't afford to dick around, sir! Not with this party!


The reward is the best lance in the game -- well, it was in the original version. I give it to Mog, since Edgar has a chainsaw to use instead.




Yeah! Strike a pose.

[R^2]

Meanwhile, another party is fighting the Goddess statue. Goddess is tricky not because of her direct HP attacks or HP (which is the lowest of these endgame bosses). She counters attacks with Overture, which dominates a party member into using a Paladin-style Cover whenever anyone else attacks Goddess. She's also fond of Entice, the same attack Rafflesia uses to super-charm party members.
Her signature move is Cloudy Heaven, which gives everyone 10 seconds to live -- but instead of just killing the afflicted when the timer runs out like Doom would, Cloudy Heaven instead transforms the victim into a zombie. It even bypasses Zombie immunity from relics like the Ribbon or Amulet! Weak! In the face of so many dirty tricks, her use of Thundaga or Quasar (she's the second monster who can cast it) seems like a break.


Did I mention she has the lowest HP of all the endgame bosses, though? Because she does.






Yeah! Strike a pose.

[R^2]

I'm controlling three parties. My enemy is the Warring Triad. You can work this out.


Fiend uses a bunch of ice attacks. You wouldn't think endgame bosses would have such exploitable gimmicks, but they do.




After whittling him down a little, Fiend's aura starts trembling. Which doesn't sound good for him, but it is! A trembling aura gives Fiend Reflect, Haste, and Image, meaning magic starts bouncing off and physical attacks start missing. He also starts picking out targets for Fiendish Rage, an ultrapowerful physical hit.


And in a last-ditch effort to protect himself, he starts dropping Force Field once in a while. Force Field picks and element at random and nulls it for the rest of the fight. I think he picked wind, in this case. Oh well.


A Dispel will get rid of all those beneficial statuses. If Strago wasn't wearing Miracle Shoes already, he could try to Rippler Fiend's good stuff onto himself instead.


Once his defenses are back down, he keeps his weakness to Holy. Or everything's weakness to Ultima. Whatever works.


Force Field is the final Lore, too. It's why I rearranged the parties; I had Strago in a place that would have kept him from fighting Fiend -- and Fiend is the only monster in the game to cast Force Field. Even Quasar gives you another chance in the Advance version, since Gilgamesh can cast it! But no, miss Force Field here and it's gone forever.




Yeah! Strike a... Gau, you're not even trying.

[R^2]

Would that be bad?


The next room is a dead end for all three parties. Once all three switches are pushed, columns of light shine down from above...

Music: The Fanatics
I forget to link music sometimes. Sorry.

[R^2]

Boy, removing the blue box and just printing ingame text directly on the field sure makes it hard to read. Guess I'll be transcribing most of this conversation.

Kefka: I've acquired the ultimate power! Observe...


Of course, as Final Fantasy scenes go, it's pretty well-animated, so I guess not all of the text needs transcribing.




Kefka then flings the two party members he telekinetically lifted back at the party.

Party: To be destroyed? Maybe it is! But people can always rebuild, and new lives will always be born!
Kefka: And time will destroy all those as well. Why do people insist on creating things that will inevitably be destroyed? Why do people cling to life, knowing that they must someday die? ...Knowing that none of it will have meant anything once they do?
A party member, usually Terra: Because it's not the end that matters! It's knowing you have something to live for right now, at this moment! Something you've worked for... Something that's worth protecting!


Whoever it is who gets the courage to speak up, Kefka flings them around a little.

Same party member: As long as you have that... that's enough!
Kefka: And did you all find your "somethings" in this broken world that just won't die?
Same party member: Yes!


Locke: A person worth protecting.
Edgar: A peaceful kingdom.
Sabin: A loving brother who always looks out for me! Gah-ha-ha-ha!
Celes: Someone willing to accept me for who I am.
Strago: An adorable little granddaughter.
Relm: An obnoxious grandpa... who I couldn't live without!
Setzer: Wings from a dear old friend!
Mog: New pals, kupo!
Gau: These people! All them! Uwaooo!

If Cyan were present, his line would be "A wife and child who live on within me." If Shadow were here, he'd mention "Friends... and family." Which is the most in-character development he gets, since nobody else gets to see his nightmares. Umaro and Gogo stay mum, since Umaro is just paying a favor back for Mog, and Gogo... well, Gogo would probably just repeat whoever said a line before him.

But... it has an effect. Kefka stops, and turns, looks at the ground beneath him in thought...

[R^2]

Music: Kefka's Theme


...and doesn't get it. He's too far gone into his madness to understand basic human affection or empathy, and his lack of understanding really cheeses him off.


Kefka: Every last one of your sickening, happy little reasons for living!
Party: No! Kefka, stop!




Kefka charges up and fires his Light of Judgment, throwing flames up from Darill's Tomb to Kohlingen... but missing both.

Kefka: I wield the greatest power in existence! You may as well be the dirt on the bottom of my boots! Or the dirt stuck to the bottom of that dirt!


Kefka: I'll create my own empire... of death!


Party member, usually Terra: People will always have dreams!
Kefka: No! I'll destroy the entire world! There won't be anything left to dream about!


Kefka: Hee-hee-hee! But what fun is destruction if no "precious" lives are lost?


Kefka fires another Light of Judgment, but... across the ocean. Zapping a bunch of fish doesn't rate very high on the Terrifying-Show-of-Insurmountable-Power-o-Meter.




Every single party member present lines up to give Kefka a well-deserved asskicking.

[R^2]

Music: Dancing Mad
In true Advance-port fashion, the rendition of Dancing Mad in this game is horribly butchered. Dancing Mad has four movements, to correspond with the four parts of this battle. In the SNES version, they flowed into one another seamlessly. In the Advance version, once you defeat one phase of the battle, the music hard-cuts to the next movement. It's jarring.


Anyway, the first phase is against Visage and his two buddies Long Arm and Short Arm. The two Arms mostly hit with physical attacks, occasionally pausing for a Shockwave or Razor Gale... which aren't all that dangerous as they only hit one person. Visage himself is the head monster around here, and he's fond of Dread Gaze for petrification and Sapping Strike for... well, Sap.


Visage is weak to Fire... not that it matters. Terra's Meltdown is pretty damned good at hitting for 9999 damage anyway. And she can Dualcast it.


Visage casts Quake as he dies, but Terra's got the Paladin Shield and nulls earth attacks, so she ain't give a damn.


Hard cut to the next movement of the background music.

[TA]

I always preferred the Black Mages rendition of Dancing Mad.
The Black Mages - Dancing Mad (full song)

Whatever else might be good in Balance and Ruin, they absolutely butchered this piece.  Which is a travesty, because it's one of the best tracks in gaming period.

[R^2]

If anyone has dropped to 0 HP or is suffering from a crippling status ailment when one tier of the boss dies, they're replaced for the next tier. This big ol' tangled granfalloon is four targets: Tiger is the face on the lower-right there, you know, the one that looks like a tiger. Power is the blue guy sitting on Tiger's head. Machine is the mess of gears and wires just left of Power. And Magic is the guy hanging off the amalgamation off to the left, by himself.

Tiger uses Flare Star, Southern Cross, and Northern Cross. Power just hits people. Machine uses Magitek-style attacks like Diffractive Laser and Atomic Rays. Magic casts powerful spells (and is vulnerable to utter shutdown thanks to a vulnerability to Silence).


The good news about Meltdown is that it hits all allies and enemies by default, so nothing really changes if Terra takes a Level 3 Confuse spell poorly. Her own Paladin Shield absorbs Meltdown, making it a full heal for her. Mog nulls it with his Snow Scarf.


Every part of this tier hits with a counterattack when it dies. The most dangerous is Power's 10-Hit Combo, which... hits ten times. Which gently removed Terra's Confuse status with one hit; she parried or blocked the other nine with her Evasion-boosting equipment. Then Regen kicked in and she recovered the damage the one hit had done before he even finished his combo. Ha ha!