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Author Topic: Quotes  (Read 148505 times)

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Thad

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1260 on: December 14, 2012, 11:14:39 AM »

He must have remembered at the last second that he didn't want to offend his Russian Orthodox buddies.

Obviously.
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Smiler

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1261 on: December 15, 2012, 06:58:01 AM »

[08:55] <zaratustra> uh oh.
[08:55] <zaratustra> my wife is 29.
[08:55] <zaratustra> the countdown begins.
[08:55] <+Esperath> whereas on higher difficulty levels
[08:55] <+Esperath> zara: the baby countdown?
[08:55] <zaratustra> yes
[08:55] <+Esperath> MINDWORMS
[08:55] <beatbandito> And ends when she learns you said that
[08:55] <+Esperath> MINDWORMS EVERYWHERE
[08:55] <beatbandito> (because you will be dead)
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Friday

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1262 on: December 15, 2012, 11:48:18 AM »

it's not so much a countdown as an alarm that blares up whenever you see, hear, or think about anything remotely resembling babies

like one time I was eating dinner and WHAM
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R^2

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1263 on: December 15, 2012, 01:38:11 PM »

"What's that loud ticking sound?"
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Classic

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1264 on: December 16, 2012, 07:17:02 PM »

I feel like there's a Telltale Heart joke waiting to happen here, but I'm pretty sure no one on the boards skips the sweet meats.
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Kazz

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1265 on: December 17, 2012, 03:48:29 PM »

[6:19] <kashan> My feet are so sore. :(
[6:20] <kashan> Why do I have to walk around the museum, why can't I just sit and have the art come to me?
[6:21] <hngkong> BECAUSE YOU ARE BAD AND SHOULD FEEL BAD?
[6:22] <kashan> I mean, that is probably true, but I have trouble seeing the causal relationship.
[6:25] <beatbandito> You are bad so your feet should feel bad
[6:27] <kashan> I've lived with a car too long. 3 days of walking around in DC and my feet want to kill me.
[6:30] * Guildenstern (~right.s.f@108-247-8-195.lightspeed.frokca.sbcglobal.net) has joined #finalfight
[6:34] <drethelin1> you should go to DLC instead
[6:34] <drethelin1> then you could ride armored horses

eleven minutes of total silence

[6:45] <+Kazz> i'm fat too kashan
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1266 on: December 17, 2012, 05:35:30 PM »

Quote
An officially licensed Lemmy figurine has been produced. Available as a "regular" or "special" edition, Lemmy recalls:

"I had to stand on this platform while the camera went around and did the hologram thing and then they made the model, only smaller. They said it's an action figure and I said, 'So, you're gonna put a dick on it?' They said, 'No.' I said, 'Well, then it's not going to get much action then, is it?' A bad name for it, right?"
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Smiler

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1267 on: December 18, 2012, 07:43:28 AM »

[09:42] <@Smiler> oh hey guys apparently the world ends in 3 days or something
[09:42] <JDigital> But I haven't finished my Christmas shopping.
[09:42] <+Esperath> the world ends with you, smiler
[09:42] <SlimeDroid> !haikuocalypse
[09:42] <Upthorn> Haiku Novicework: I'm melting! MELTING! / what the hell man WHAT THE HELL / It was all a dream.
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Friday

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1268 on: December 19, 2012, 02:51:30 PM »

<Mr_Saturn> Hahaha wow i didn't know about the war z's connection to BIG RIGS OVER THE ROAD RACING
<StushSleep> What's the connection?
<StushSleep> You can reverse to infinite speeds?
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1269 on: December 20, 2012, 11:28:22 PM »

Quote
You know what they say, if life gives you Mayans, make mayonnaise.
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1270 on: December 28, 2012, 07:42:42 PM »

In reference to someone bringing up Labyrinth:

<phodos> I watched labyrinth two days ago and its still awesome
<arty> Labyrinth | Magic Dance
<arty> They don't make them like this anymore
<Milo> Well yeah, Jim Henson and David Bowie are dead
<Grak> Wait, David Bowie is not dead.
<phodos> that was a corpse you were having sex with dude
<Milo> Oh, I was thinking of Ziggy Stardust.

 :hurr:
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Büge

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1271 on: December 29, 2012, 02:27:09 PM »

Quote
samus_aran says:
 George RR Martin looks like Gabe Newell crawled inside of the guy on the Phalanx box.
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Smiler

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1272 on: January 01, 2013, 01:26:49 PM »

[15:25] <Frocto> this went from sex with cute gals to sex with burly black men real fast
[15:25] <Frocto> like all my relationships :(
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Friday

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1273 on: January 02, 2013, 10:25:46 AM »

<Vance> Why am I seeing Silent Hill 2 as a sitcom now? James all coming home with a bag of groceries, in his apartment hallway when the Otherworld change comes. He sighs, balances the groceries on his knee, unlocks and opens the door. There's Pyramid Head raping a monster on the counter. AGAIN.
<zara2> PYRAMID HEEEEAD
<zara2> laughtrack
<maou> oh, that pyramid head.
<zara2> HELLO JAMES
<zara2> do you have to do that on the kitchen counter
<zara2> FEELS GOOD MAN
<maou> no, no
<maou> pyramid head is a near 1:1 match to kramer except instead of eating random food out of his pantry, he's butchering people on the counter.
<Vance> Also less racial epithets
<maou> well, of course.
<maou> pyramid head is a lot of things but he's not a bigot.
<maou> I love the episode where pyramid head falls asleep in a pool of boiling blood, only to wake up and find that it's cooled to body-temperature.
<@Friday> Personally I thought the episodes where Mary guest starred were the best
<@Friday> especially the twist when it's revealed that she was only a figment of James' imagination the whole time
<@Friday> And casting Eddie as the pizza delivery guy, genius!
<SlimeDroid> The final episode reveals it was reality tv with dog as the executive producer
<@Friday> So it was all your work!
<Vance> Man, if I had the money I'd shoot a five minute pilot of that
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Smiler

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1274 on: January 02, 2013, 12:10:12 PM »

[13:55] <zara2> once a hobo on a US laundromat cussed me out because I used a quarter on a barely working OutRun arcade instead of giving him money
[13:55] <Vance> Nice
[13:56] <Vance> Where in the US was this?
[13:59] <zara2> uhhhhh
[13:59] <zara2> Austin, I think.
[14:07] <Sede> are you prepared to provide me with equivalent satisfaction as an OutRun playthrough would fill me with??
[14:08] <zara2> I guess he could make the same noises
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1275 on: January 03, 2013, 07:41:40 AM »

Quote from: VodalianStallion
True story:
I was reading a Magic the Gathering:Shadowmage comic when I was younger, and my mom and her friend interrupted me.
"Who is the woman with the big boobs?" they asked, pointing to the female planeswalker, "Is she your girllllfriend?"
Then they went back to drinking wine.
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Esperath

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1276 on: January 03, 2013, 08:25:34 PM »

<Shana>: okay give me more things to put into Friday
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Ted Belmont

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1277 on: January 03, 2013, 10:03:13 PM »

<Lady> our stomachs are like artists
<Lady> they get mad about some small detail
<Lady> throw the whole work out the window
<Lady> next day
<Lady> spend 20 hours finely crafting a miraculous piece of shit
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1278 on: January 10, 2013, 12:33:46 PM »

<doug> By 2100, everyone will be cloud computing at all times from a tiny earbud
<KingRamz> [<doug> earbud]
<KingRamz> I hate that movie
<KingRamz> with the dog
<doug> Benji?
<KingRamz> No, Beethoven
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Mongrel

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Re: Quotes
« Reply #1279 on: January 14, 2013, 07:03:48 PM »

 [23:53] <prolopsi> was the sphere story apocryrphal
[23:53] <prolopsi> or actually real
[23:53] <Kelvandil> what story?
[23:53] <@wrath__> sphere of safety is broken
[23:53] <@wrath__> and locked out some person
[23:53] <prolopsi> supposedly the nuclear fuel they were using were spheres
[23:54] <prolopsi> and maybe some other dangerous, critical hardware
[23:54] <prolopsi> but they didn't look dangeorus otherwise
[23:54] <prolopsi> so they just had a rule that anything sphere-shaped was presumed dangerous
[23:55] <prolopsi> and there was a ban on non-dangerous spheres to prevent false positives
[23:55] <@wrath__> !name=the spheres
[23:55] <Datatog> Snare the Skies {G} |Instant| Target creature gets +1/+1 and gains reach until end of turn. · AVR-C,Vin,Leg,Mod,Ext,Std,Cla,ISDBC,NewStd
[23:55] <Seeker> I have never heard that one before
[23:55] <Seeker> doesn't mean it's false
[23:55] <Draconis> nuclear fuel would generally be rods I think?
[23:55] <Draconis> actual nuke cores would be spherical
[23:55] <Seeker> they used pure platinum as a doorstop iirc
[23:55] <Rylinks> depends on the nuke
[23:56] <Seeker> the devil's core was spherical but that is literally all I know about nukes so
[23:56] <prolopsi> One weapons scientist explained to me how he breached security at Los Alamos simply by bringing a sack lunch into the plutonium facility. He left his lunch on his office desk and stepped out for a minute. He came back to find a commotion. A security officer informed him that the orange he left on his desk was, in fact, a classified object.
[23:56] <Seeker> lol
[23:56] <Seeker> NO ORANGES
[23:56] <prolopsi> He learned that any spherical object became a nuclear secret once it passes over the line demarcating the secure from the open areas of the laboratory, as it could be taken as a model for the plutonium pit that drives a nuclear weapon.
[23:56] <Draconis> did you hear what he said next
[23:57] <Draconis> ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN'T BRING AN APPLE

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