Topic: Quotes (Read 148490 times)

Royal☭ · « **Reply #1360 on:** July 20, 2013, 06:56:54 AM »

Not sure. Royal children tend to have blood and pigment related health problems.

Disposable Ninja · « **Reply #1361 on:** July 20, 2013, 07:38:17 AM »

Also, y'know, it's British.

Zaratustra · « **Reply #1362 on:** July 23, 2013, 06:27:54 AM »

<sede> http://imgur.com/gallery/Us4WAiu why tumblr needs to be culled even more
<ScootWork> when you think about it, telling people your kid has a penis is a little personal, innit
<ScootWork> it'd be best if children didn't have genitals until they were 18
<zaratustra> when you turn 18 you get a full set of genitalia of both sexes
<koro> Yer a futanari, Harry

Mongrel · « **Reply #1363 on:** July 25, 2013, 09:31:04 AM »

Because dick jokes never get old.

<Walkyerdog> Just saw "Dirty Weiner Plunges in Polls," as a headline.
<ReverendBob> Those headline jokes write themselves.
<Burboy> Weiner can't find a hand as aide leaves
<Burboy> Weiner moves forward but hits unexpected wall
<Burboy> As Weiner expands, local women show signs of discomfort
<Burboy> Weiner's surge leaves some with bad taste in mouth
<DeathSquiggle> Inside: Weiner revealed!
<Grant> Questions of sexual misconduct cause Weiner to explode at reporters.
<DeathSquiggle> Irate women loudly proclaim "We've had just about enough Weiner."
<DeathSquiggle> Even amid reports of misconduct, Weiner surprisingly on the rise with the gay community.
<Burboy> Gay community still taking in Weiner, reports say
<Leprosy> Indiana woman reveals pictures of Weiner to public
<Burboy> Weiner seems tired, overworked says mother
<Grant> NYC Pride celebrants just can't get enough Weiner
<Leprosy> Huma can only stand Weiner after months of therapy
<Leprosy> When will dirty pictures of Weiner stop showing up on internet?
<Burboy> Weiner experiences sharp rise, large lead now visable
<ReverendBob> Wiener exposed to public opinion; comes up short
<Walkyerdog> Weiner flopping.
<Grant> Lack of support causes Weiner to flip-flop
<Burboy> Weiner loves public eye, reports local working girls
<Burboy> Black voters unimpressed with white Weiner
<Burboy> Weiner goes stiff as new photos revealed
<Walkyerdog> Rivals grind against Weiner.
<Walkyerdog> Weiner pushes on despite going soft.
<Grant> Not believing in bad publicity, Weiner welcomes controversy: "I want to be on the lips of every New Yorker"
<Planeswalker> NY voters cold, Weiner sees shrinkage.
<Marmalade> Man Who Sends Pictures of His Dick To Strangers Scandalously Revealed To Also Be Running For Political Office
<Starr> Weiner: "I before E except after hours"
<Burboy> good work everyone
<ReverendBob> We should all go out for Schwarma now.
<Leprosy> burboy calls the shots now
<Burboy> when have I not
<Walkyerdog> Weiner promises "to be hardon crime," then retracts, claiming a misquote.
<Leprosy> WALKER BURBOY SAID WE WERE DONE
<Walkyerdog> Apparently he was premature

Mongrel · « **Reply #1364 on:** July 30, 2013, 01:44:25 PM »

Now, this is mildly amusing, but look at the article just above.

"Pegatron accused of dumping toxic waste"

Ted Belmont · « **Reply #1365 on:** July 30, 2013, 02:52:48 PM »

Quote from: Mongrel on July 30, 2013, 01:44:25 PM

"Pegatron accused of dumping toxic waste"

Mongrel · « **Reply #1366 on:** July 30, 2013, 03:54:05 PM »

Like I am picturing Megatron with a plastic Groucho glasses-and-mustache.

"Oh ho ho ho, no no no... people make that mistake a lot!"

Ted Belmont · « **Reply #1367 on:** July 31, 2013, 12:32:56 AM »

Or this guy. (WARNING: definitely NSFW)

Disposable Ninja · « **Reply #1368 on:** July 31, 2013, 01:23:31 AM »

It took me a while to realize that that wasn't real and that made me sad.

Mongrel · « **Reply #1369 on:** August 01, 2013, 06:45:02 AM »

[note: UMex is one of the umpty-ump lawyers I know]

<UMex> So someone in my office forgot to report financial data to the feds. As a result, all of my grants are basically bricked.
<Shame> Evidence leads me to believe, that if you take a nap, you will feel better afterwards.
<UMex> That's a good idea.
<UMex> I mean, we have a whole month to fix this before the state's gun control all turns off.
<Mongrel> Wait... what are you doing/where are you working now?
<Barksdale> Florida has gun control? Why bother
<DS~> Yeah, if they didn't have gun control it would be legal for people to not own guns

*later*

<UMex> I work in the grant stream that funds, among other things, the state's ability to do gun background checks.
<UMex> Everything is fine now, btw.
<Grak> I very seriously doubt that everything is fine in FL's state run background checks for firearms.
<UMex> No man, it's great.
<UMex> We've got the free gun dispensers working again.
<UMex> The "are you a felon y/n" question is back to being printed as n/n as it should be.
<UMex> Everything is fine.
<UMex> We've even got a "shoot/shoot twice" simulator now.
<Shame> I bet you took the nap!

Healy · « **Reply #1370 on:** August 01, 2013, 03:55:54 PM »

Quote

(It is not widely known that The Frogs was originally designed as a first-person shooter. It was adapted for the Greek stage only after vigorous debate by leading citizens, who insisted that violent games would corrupt the youth of Athens, and also that guns hadn't been invented yet.)

Büge · « **Reply #1371 on:** August 03, 2013, 01:01:03 AM »

Quote from: http://glamdamnit.tumblr.com/post/55713093884/my-sister-asked-if-the-events-of-the-labyrinth

My sister asked if the events of “The Labyrinth" are meant to be Sarah dreaming, or are they real? Although my primary reaction was that she shouldn’t put that much thought into any children’s movie (or any instance of David Bowie in tight pants), I’d like to take this opportunity to put so much thought into this children’s movie, that it’ll blow your mind.
So why is David Bowie kidnapping a child from an underage Jennifer Connelley?
In a time long long ago a sorcerer named Jareth fell in love with a girl named Sarah. Sarah’s father and step-mother would not let her marry Jareth because they wanted her to keep her, as a servant, to care for their other child. In a fit of rage Jareth kidnapped this other child and spirited it away to the fairy world. In this new world Jareth built a palace for his Sarah. He turned the spoiled child into a goblin, and kept it to be a servant.
Many stories of the fairy world tell us that time moves differently there than in our world (Rip Van Winkle for one). In the time it took for Jareth to build his kingdom, which he may have thought was little more than a few years, Sarah grew old and died.
Overcome by grief and addled by a lifetime spent in a strange world filled with monsters, Jareth goes mad. He refuses to believe that he has lost his love. He searches the mortal world from his castle, looking for her.
Sarah is Hebrew name. So, it is common, and has been in use for thousands and thousands of years. It does not take long (for him) to find a dark haired girl named Sarah, who has a younger sibling, and who feels that she is treated unfairly by her step mother. In a fit of rage he kidnaps this other child and spirits it away to the fairy world. Perhaps this new Sarah dies in the quest to find the child, perhaps she wins her sibling back and flees.
Jareth searches the mortal world from his from his castle, looking for her. It does not take long to find a dark haired girl named Sarah…
This is how Jareth becomes the goblin king. Every goblin in the goblin city is a child Jareth has stolen, who was not recovered by a Sarah. (he told the current Sarah that Toby would become a goblin if she did not find him in time)
This is why he builds the maze. The magic bog, the junk yard of useless treasures, all tricks to slow Sarah down. Because if he can only have his Sarah for the time it takes for her to regain the stolen child, he will make it take as long as possible, keep her as long as possible.
This is why there exists in our world a book containing the story. Because it has happened before. So many times. At some point some lucky Sarah must have returned to our world to tell the story.
This is why when the most recent Sarah first meets Hoggle at the start of the labyrinth, and introduces herself; “I’m Sarah", Hoggle responds “That’s what I figured."
Because of course she’s Sarah.
They were all Sarah.

Mongrel · « **Reply #1372 on:** August 04, 2013, 05:28:26 PM »

Quote

Yeah, I can’t believe that there once was a time when I was stupid enough to think that Mignola was ruining my Liefeld comics hahahaha

Mongrel · « **Reply #1373 on:** August 05, 2013, 12:13:18 AM »

Quote from: quasius

Decided to see what was up at http://www.RushLimbaugh.com today. Well... turns out he's just launched his own line of tea. This is real. This is the website: http://www.twoifbytea.com

Quote from: Grant

Quote from: the Two If By Tea unsweet tea product blurb
Grab a case, taste the American Exceptionalism, and help Rush Revere Tea The People!
it's more glorious than i could have possibly imagined

Quote from: Grakthis

the only way it could be better is if he asserted that the government was about to take away your tea and you had to buy it now before they start a tea registry.

Thad · « **Reply #1374 on:** August 05, 2013, 01:41:34 AM »

Quote from: Mongrel on August 04, 2013, 05:28:26 PM

Quote
Yeah, I can’t believe that there once was a time when I was stupid enough to think that Mignola was ruining my Liefeld comics hahahaha

One of the best parts about the Milligan/Allred X-Force was reading the lettercol at the end of each issue which was full of people who were FURIOUS that Marvel had turned X-Force into a comic with uninteresting characters and shitty art.

Bongo Bill · « **Reply #1375 on:** August 12, 2013, 11:50:07 AM »

Context: Ridley's co-worker is playing Dragon Quest 6.

Quote

<+Ridley> meanwhile
<+Ridley> the two girls on our team who have no idea how not to engage in conversations utterly inappropriate to the workplace
<+Ridley> start talking about the number of sexual partners each of them has had.
<+Ridley> and then they turn to him
<+Ridley> and go "How many have you had?"
<+Ridley> and he glances up and goes "Huh? I'm level 12."
<Meikai> :D
<MetalSlime> !ogre
<Utsuho> NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS
<+BongoBill> I'm going to steal that story
<+Ridley> You don't have to steal it, I will share it freely.
<+Ridley> The next week we asked him what level he was now, he said 32
<+Ridley> the week after that, we asked again
<+Ridley> he said 33
<+Ridley> I said oh you're having trouble getting it up?
<+Ridley> your level I mean?
<+Ridley> then today
<+Ridley> he mournfully told me that he stopped playing
<+Ridley> "because it's too long"

Mongrel · « **Reply #1376 on:** August 12, 2013, 02:40:06 PM »

Quote from: Skeletor

I was in Idaho this weekend and I turned on the local news at the hotel to find them doing a segment where they open a web browser to various news sites and read the top stories to you.

Friday · « **Reply #1377 on:** August 12, 2013, 03:09:14 PM »

Soon the News will be nothing about the News about the News about the News about the News about the News.

And Football.

Caithness · « **Reply #1378 on:** August 13, 2013, 02:51:42 AM »

Japan's TV news programs still read you stories from a newspaper propped up on a big easel. And they've got little plastic strips covering the headlines which they rip off at the appropriate time.

A² · « **Reply #1379 on:** August 16, 2013, 09:54:43 AM »

[03:33:47pm -7] <@Cait> All I really know about Roseanne is every so often Mark Rosewater mentions that he worked on it before he went to Wizards
[03:35:22pm -7] <beatbandito> oh my god
[03:36:01pm -7] <beatbandito> the same person is responsible for both Roseanne and the Urza block?
[03:36:13pm -7] <beatbandito> I've never truly believed in a global conspiracy until right now.
[03:36:34pm -7] <@Cait> "He is credited for two Roseanne episodes: "Vegas, Vegas" and "Take My Bike, Please", both aired in 1991."
[03:37:20pm -7] <@Friday> Urza Block's influence in Roseanne is clear in those episodes in which nobody is having any fun and everyone is fucking broke

News:

Author Topic: Quotes (Read 148490 times)